Can I do this? Rant--friends with tons of in home help

[katrina1987]

So I am not dissing on those mommies with nannies and the like, but aside from a baby sitter that comes for 3 hours on Tuesday and Thursday, I am doing it all by myself (hubby works constantly). I am preggo again and felt pretty good about handling it all... until... recently.

Some of my friends, also stay at home moms, have full time in home help... like every single day. Additionally, I found that one friend also has a night nurse that feeds and burps and changes the baby! AND, she is still having trouble... she doesn't wake to feed the baby or anything and is still struggling... what in the world am I getting myself into?!

Now I am happy that people can get help and such, but geez, now I am wondering, can I do this? My hubby is not forking out thousands and thousands and thousands for in home help when we already sacrifice for me to stay at home. Do you friends have help (this much)? Are any of you doubting yourselves?

You are very lucky you get a sitter on those 2days, In the time we have had DS my mum has babysat him once and he is nearlly 16months, of course I don't expect ppl as he is my child but occasionally when me and OH would like to go for a meal or a break for a few hours would be nice. In the time I have had DS I have had only a few hours apart from him.

No one will babysit, friends or family. I am 16weeks pregnant and get very tired as hubby works most weeks 7days a week and its tiring especially when DS doesn't sleep through either, and house work has to be done, we have to prepare for new baby. I was cleaning until 10.45 pm lastnight.

All our friends who have children the granparents have there LO's once/twice a week without fail so they can have a time out or just do something as a couple and I wish we had the option of that sometimes, but wouldn't change the way things are for the world, im his mum and this is what im here for.

One thing I will say is that I have never missed out on anything with DS, first word, first step, first step, first time rolling over ect

 

[lesleyann]

Before i went back to college i was a stay at home mum with no nannies/baby sitters etc, then while at college 2and half days a week he was in nursery/with mymum. I dont know anyone who has that much help really as of july i will be again a fulltime stay at home mummy again. i would not worry hun they prob got a helper in straight after the birth and just never gave it up so continue to thik they need one rather than learn to multi task/live off little sleep lol

 

[lynnikins]

im on baby number 3 with 2 toddlers in the house and dont get any help, from september ds1 will be at nursery 3 sessions a week but thats it i'll still have a 20 month old at home full time when the baby comes,

I used to work in childcare but never for a SAHM only for familys where both parents were working or seperated and the full time parent was working

 

[sarah2409]

Im on number 3 too. My son has learning difficulties, he is 4 and will be at school full time when the baby arrives, luckily because he is at a specialist school he will be getting picked up and dropped off so there is one less thing to worry about. My daughter will be 2 when baby arrives and she will be going to playgroup, we think maybe around 3 morning sessions a week, for 2 1/2 hours, but she will be at home with me and baba rest of the time. I honestly have never felt looking after 2 children is difficult, you just get on with it. I would never get help in, it just doesnt seem normal. They are my children! The only time we have other people look after them is when we go out for the evening but that i very rare, i reckon 3 times so far this year. The hardest part for me is all the noise they make to be honest, never a moments peace

 

[bassdesire]

We live on the east coast in the usa. We have no family nearby so family members have never watched my daughter. W e started the sitter a couple months ago.

It is good to know that most people dont have help, which I did know...it feels good to hear from you all. I just thought full nanny and a night nurse.... That is crazy!

 

[bassdesire]

I just wanted to stop by and say...I am a stay at home mom that did it all by myself (besides hubby and some family sometimes taking the baby) with my first and same when i had my second and plan to be the same when i have this one...the only help I will be needing is for 6 weeks after i have the baby (i am having a c-section) i can not lift my other two children but i will be breastfeeding only so i will be the only one that will be getting up feeding changing and burping...i may have my hubby get me a snack and a drink sometimes...i am not saying its easy at all but it can be done...it would be good to have a good friend or family come by if you have a really bad night and need a good cry but remember you can always lay baby down for a few mins to get control and come back

I nursed exclusively for eight months. I still nurse! Dd has had one bottle...I'm not sure I'm going this all out with number two!

 

[Mother of 4]

I have 4 kids ages 12, 6, 5 and 2 with #5 on the way. I've never had any help. I'm a stay at home mom and I don't really understand if you stay at home why you would need any help My husband works all day long so I get all the kids up in the morning, get them all ready and I take 2 of them to 2 different schools then come back home where I still have 2 little ones here with me all day. They go with me to all my appts, grocery shopping and then to pick up the other kids from school. I haven't been out on a date with my husband in over a year now. I'm literally with my kids 24/7. We don't have babysitters or nannies. It's more than possible to be the only caregiver.