Cautiously 'here' ! *2boys4girlsAllhereAllhealthyWedidit!!!!*

[VGibs]

Here is a long one ladies...hope you'll stick with me.

So we have all heard about my crazy SIL. Well she went for her invitro consult the other day and big shocking surprise they told her because she is not in a relationship, and she does not make a lot of money, and her mental health is in question, they don't see it as being a good idea to carry on with in vitro. I sighed a huge breath of relief and I know that sounds harsh but honestly if she did ever have a baby that poor child would never have a shot in life. So I asked her what the next step was, and she said she pushed the doctor to do more tests and she has to go for a psych consult. Then she started talking about adoption. I said if you think the consult for invitro is rough adoption is way tougher and they would never consider a single parent. She said and I quote "Well I can't get one of those chink babies. My family would not recognize a chink, and there are already to many chink's walking around this country" I WAS SPEECHLESS!!!!!!!!!!! I just said "Well I guess you are not ready to be a parent if you do not see how badly an ASIAN child would need a loving parent" and she kept going on about "chink's" so I spoke loudly and said "well that is how a lot of people think about french people" because my OH's family is Quebecquois. Before I knew it I had tears pouring down my face, and was quietly sobbing. And because she lives in her own world she didnt even notice that I was crying on the other end of the phone. All I could think was, I DO NOT want this woman anywhere near my children. My OH is not racist. Not in the tiniest bit. I can't understand how she would think it would be ok to think like that! I was so saddened and hurt by it. So then she goes on to describe how she has everything for a baby. Which is true when her son died she put away all of his baby stuff and has not looked at it once. Which mildly chaps my ass because she is being told she probably can not have children and she has not even offered to let us borrow her crib. Her words "I got all that stuff on my own. Im sure you guys can find something. It won't be as nice as mine though" Well in retaliation of that comment my mother has plans on buying the biggest fanciest crib of all time. So after this little phone chat I looked at my OH and said "I am done with that woman." and he said "what do you mean?" I said "I do not want her near me. I do not want her near my children and I do not consider her part of my family" He kind of smiled and said "Well whatever you think babe." I just can not keep living with her craziness invading my life. So I am offcially cutting her off.

 

[VGibs]

It's my birthday tomorrow....and I just feel like curling up and crying all day. My aunt thought it would be very funny to tease me and bully me because I defended my daughter on facebook. Her kids think it is hilarious to make fun of "ginger" kids and I took a stand and said it was not funny because my daughter has red hair. Well some little B*%$H on my cousins FB told me I was too damn sensitive and other ridiculous things. I stood up for myself, and my aunt took the opportunity to mock me, and make fun of me. Instead of behaving like the almost 50 year old she is. It was very hurtful. Then we were going out for a dinner because I was very hurt and had been upset all day and the place we were going to was completely packed, we could not even get a table. So now I have to cook my own birthday dinner, and kind of want to have a good long cry in the bathub. This is a "I wish like hell I could have a glass of merlot" moment.

 

[Smiler79]

Hi girls

Hope all is well with everyone and happy birthday V!!

I have got a reassurance scan on mon 22nd due to the bleed i had the other week. Ia m looking forward to it as i have not had any problems since the bleed and it means i get another chance to see Bob! However, it took every ounce of wil power i had not to find out Bob's sex at the 20 week scan and now i have got to be strong all over again.

I know i need to stay team yellow as i have waited all this time and only have just ove r10 weeks left but it is just so tempting!!!

 

[Smudgelicious]

V. What a shitty week. I'm sorry your bday wasn't good. If it's any consolation, mine are usually crap too. Your sister in law sounds like she needs serious therapy. I don't blame you for wanting to keep her away, I would too.

Good luck for the scan Smiler ! I've never been able to see the sex without the tech pointing it out, so just don't look at that bit too hard.

Wonder how Kit and MommyD are ?

I am having one of the most horrid weeks of my life. You know my problems with my sister.....well its kind of escalated with my father sending me a nasty, accusatory, vicious email. I can't read it without crying and I've spent yesterday and today in a haze. Of course, I'm by myself, hubby at sea. I live on the other side of the world, with no family support, my husband away all the time and I'm 7 months pregnant. You think now is the time to attack ?

I'm trying to write a response that isn't angry which is hard. I'm feeling completely drained right now and my eyes hurt from crying. Don't they care about me or my children at all ?

I'm counting the hours until friday, when my husband comes home and we leave on Saturday for a holiday. I wish i could just hide under my doona til then.

 

[mommydelux]

Good grief V - with a week like yours - i'd have that glass of merlot. i'm so sorry you have to sit through cr@p like that.
Smudge - I'm not sure what to say - because nothing anyone says is going to make it better. But i do know how you feel. I was in the same position as you a few months back - but with my inlaws. and it's been 4 1/2 months since i've spoken to or laid eyes on them. they also launched a scathing attack on me while OH was away. and i was devastated. and it's taken me while to recover from it. But once i made the decision to ignore it and not care about it or them - things got better. obviously - this is your dad, so it's a little harder. but parents shouldn't be choosing sides. and if they feel that one sibling is wrong, then discuss it rather than blame or attack. and if you didn't send that email yet - maybe mention that as parent/s you expected him to be more diplomatic with the matter and you would have appreciated his concern or feelings more if he had treated you as a daughter and an adult and discussed things with you. Giving you a fair opportunity to air your views as well.
Yes - i know - i sound like dr Phil. but by the looks of things we've all had a rough year. and we have the scars to show it.

anyway - smiler - i admire your perseverance to stay on team yellow. the only reason i'm still on team yellow is coz OH goes along to EVERY appointment, to make sure I don't ask for gender...

eating red meat during pregnancy, V, is ok. It's just that whenever I'm preggers - red meat and chicken are the first things that go because i can't stomach the smell or taste of either of them. everything tastes different to me. fizzy cooldrinks - tastes like acid. Muesli tastes like grass. i remember walking in at home and OH was making some curry - and i could smell the meat cooking - it smelt like warm blood. REVOLTING! i ended up gagging for an hour afterward.

I remember the nursing sister telling me that it's ok to have a couple of glasses of wine while breastfeeding. just after a feed and not right before a feed. make sure to be eating while drinking the wine since - we all know - food absorbs alcohol. she says 0.2% actually reaches breastmilk. and believe me - when you're bf - you'll be disciplined enough to not get sloshed. ALSO - she said and strongly advised to NOT PUMP AND DUMP. so i followed her advice with DS. had at most 3 glasses of wine between feeds - he fed every 2 hours. ate while i did it and it's had absolutely no effect on him.
everything in moderation tho. I didn't drink for the first month after birth though. But hey - it's a personal choice - and once LO is here, we'll all know what's best.


so my pornstar dreams have not subsided. and OH got the brunt of it. was hectic scary afterward - bubs never moved the whole day. i was completely freaked out. and then finally movement on sunday morning just as i was about to go to maternity to be monitored. needless to say - OH has declared a shag free 3rd trimester.

 

[Smudgelicious]

Thanks MommyD. I think conflict with your family is the most difficult thing. They're (in a perfect world) supposed to be a source of love, support and understanding and it is soul destroying when they are the opposite. My response is very long, but it isn't angry or nasty which is good. The scary thing is, I don't know what they will say and what the future holds in regards to my parents and sister. I'm just exhausted now, I can barely think straight.

Funny, you mentioned wine V, I have never had as big a craving for a drink as I did this weekend ! Unbelievably, I also craved cigarettes which shows you how stressed I've been. For me to actually WANT a smoke......thats jsut scary.

Bad news on the shag free 3rd trimester, MommyD Not that my husband has been around a hell of a lot lately, but that would devastate me !

 

[Smiler79]

HI girls

Have had a very sad day today. Onr of my pupils at the special needs school I work at passed away yesterday SHe was only 18. It was complications from an op. Her parents had spent months agonising over whether or not to let her have the op. Then, despite having a DNR she was resucitated when she crashed after surgery so spent a week dosed up on morphine to stop the pain until she passed awau peacefully in her sleep yesterday.

I have not stopped crying all day. I am trying to stay strong as I know it is not good for BOb(been more active than usual today) but it is so hard. To make matters worse because I worl with the profoundly disabled class all we have to pick 3 of the 9 staff in our class to go to the funeral as we cannot all go as there are no other staff at school traind to look after the rest of the kids in our class.

R.I.P Rosie xxxxxxx

 

[Smudgelicious]

Smiler, thats so sad. Thats too young. I'm sorry you feel so bad

Rough week all round, this is what we need.................

 

[Smiler79]

Thank you for the hugs smudge! And I know I shouldn't but I am going to have a glass of wine tonight! If I am stressed, Bob is stressed so the wine will do us both good.

Hugs to all who are having a tough week. SO glad I have you girls to talk to xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[VGibs]

Oh that is to bad My mother worked in a facility for the handicapped *mentally and physically* for 30 years. She still mourns very hard when one of her patients passes away. Have a good long cry and keep your chin up.

 

[KitKatBit]

Hi lovelies,

I'm so sorry everyone has been having such a hard time of it I'm in the same boat. My grandmother died and then 2 days later the cat that we've had since I was a teenager had to be put down Then today all the things I've been battling with at work kind of came to a head as well. I can't believe so much could go wrong in such a short space of time - what's going on??!!

My grandmother lived with my Mum, who lives nearby. My Mum found her and called me to come and help her and be with her, which of course I was only too happy to do, but it meant I actually had to see my grandmother's body and help make her look more comfortable and dignified. I feel like I'll be haunted by the memories of all that forever!

Now I feel emotionally as strained and exhausted as I do physically. I wish I could just sleep and sleep, but I can't I feel guilty for feeling so low and sorry for myself, because I have Button and DD and my lovely OH, but everything's getting on top of me.

Sorry for moaning, especially when everyone is going through their own difficulties too. xxx

 

[mommydelux]

oh smiler and KitKatB - i'm so sorry for both your losses. it's not much but take comfort in knowing that they're both in heaven smiling down and watching over you.

 

[mommydelux]

I don't mean to sound like a moaner and ungrateful - BUT THIS IS TAKING SOOOO LOOONNNNGGGG. i want olive here already. i want to play baby-baby. i want maternity leave and suffer from sleep deprivation.

 

[Smudgelicious]

Ha I said that to my doctor yesterday ! Can't I just have him already ??

I had a great appt (well, after the 1.5 hr wait) yesterday. Baby weighs 3lbs 4oz and is measuring over a week ahead. He is apparently doing some kind of good respiration movement..... I didn't really listen, I was too busy staring at the monitor. Doc flicked the US over to 4d and tried to get a look at his face. He kept his hand up the whole time, but there is one pic where I can just see him. He has a face !! Silly, but it makes it so real !

The best and scariest bit ? I'm having this baby in about 8-9 weeks !!! I'm starting steroid treatment for lung development at 32 weeks and also weekly non stress tests. I'm going to have an amnio at 37 weeks and if the lungs are mature, its caesar time !!!

Can't wait !!

My groin/pelvis is so incredibly painful right now, I'm just counting the days (I'm counting 60 days today, even though I don't have a date yet) till the pressure is off. KitKat, do you ever get a really low ache in the front and back when you're pelvis is really bad ?

I have a fetal echiocardiogram booked for Friday morning, another chance to look at baby. I'm still feeling shattered about my family, but yesterdays appt made me feel so happy. That and 2 more days till my husband comes home.

Hugs to all you girls, we had such a horrible week all of us, it can only get better.

 

[mommydelux]

Lovely stuff smudge! So glad you had an awesome appointment!

 

[KitKatBit]

It's nice to hear lovely happy news smudge - I'm really glad it went so well.

I wrote my birth plan yesterday to cheer me up and make it seem nearer my due date. I'm about as impatient as MommyD - 11 weeks to go! The nursery is half papered, so hopefully that should be finished soon and we can start sorting it out. I want everything done before Christmas prep starts kicking in.

Most of my spd pain is low down at the front Smudge. It feels like I've been kicked in the hoohah the whole time. The physio suggested putting a cold pack on it, so you could try that? I really hope it goes off as quickly as it does for some poeple after the birth

 

[mommydelux]

TMI warning - but is anyone else getting increased cervical mucus? i am - and it's A ALOT. like noticeable.

i have NOTHING prepared for the the olive. no clothes/nursery/toiletries - zilch. but you all know my story - i keep going out to buy things and i end up coming back with something else.

i'm just soooo tired of waiting. i really hope that the next 11 weeks 2 days FLY by.

 

[VGibs]

Im kind of in that boat as well. Meaning "God is it over yet???" And if one more bloody person tells me "You still have 3 months left!" I will spit on their shoe. I still have so much to do as well! I am starting to write up the offcial "This is what we need for baby" list so my OH's parents can actually contribute. They told him last week that they probably wont buy a thing until after the baby is here. I told OH that if that is the case then they can keep their stuff and go to hell to boot.

 

[mommydelux]

When will people learn NOT TO IRRITATE OR PISS a pregnant women off????

 

[KitKatBit]

I'VE JUST BEEN HIT BY A CAR!!! I'm fine, but he just reversed into me while I was waiting to cross the road without even looking!! Luckily he hit my arm and my hip more than my bump and I've rung the midwife and she says that as my bump didn't get knocked and I don't have any pains or bleeding and I can feel Button moving everything is fine.

He didn't even get out to see if I was alright or apologise or anything! I hammered on his window and started yelling at him, but he wouldn't get out or even wind his window down - coward!! Unfortunately I didn't have the presence of mind to do anything constructive like take down his licence plate number or anything Several people have come up to me since to say they saw it and ask if I'm ok etc, so I could probably persue it if I wanted to, but tbh I don't really feel up to it - I've got too much other horrible stuff going on atm.

At least Button's ok. What ELSE can happen??!!!