CC/CIO Support and Information Thread

[_dreamer_]

Help lol. My little girl is 9 months old and she will only nurse to sleep, for naps and at bedtime, she cannot self settle and for a long time I have not been able to put her in her cot awake/drowsy or she just screams blue murder so its been 'easier' to continue feeding her to sleep as it means no tears. She won't take a dummy/pacifier or a bottle. She had a fantastic stage where she sttn 12 hours but from 6 months its all gone out the window. She is waking at least twice, more often three times and she has at least a 15 minute feed each time. Weaning has not gone well, and she only eats a tiny amount of solids so I've been feeling she needs the night feeds even though I know they shouldn't from 6 months. We've been discussing using controlled crying as its getting to the point where its starting to get really hard on me, my oh can't put her to bed because she's reliant on me to fall asleep, and if she does wake, he can't settle her, and naptimes are terrible, she quite often doesn't have one as she'll wake when I stop nursing and I can't get her to go back to sleep. I also go back to work in a couple of months and need her to nap there, and cannot be waking up 3 times a night and function properly in my job.

I'm going to find this super hard as I don't normally leave her to cry at all. Shes very stubborn, I was out the other evening and she woke an hour after going to bed, my oh tried everything to get her back down but she was hysterical when I got in 45 minutes later and only nursing got her back to.sleep. She won't give in easily I know that. Is that normal for them to get so hysterical? Also she normally wakes for a feed about 2 or 3 hours after going down. If she's still crying on those first few nights of trying, do I continue to leave her? Or do I feed her, in which case she'll fall asleep ruining what we've been trying to do. Can you do controlled crying when they are still waking in the night? Does it help with that?

Really hoping someone who's been in a similar situation can offer some advice. Thanks in advance

 

[katrinalorien]

dreamer - although I do not have one as old as you I believe that the idea is that by 9 months they do not need to eat at night, it is only for comfort, so you have to do whatever it takes to get your LO back to sleep at night and at naps without nursing. Can you put her on EASY? EASY stands for Eat, Activity, Sleep, You, meaning you always feed when LO wakes, that way you know she is fed before naptime. You always separate feeding and the nap or sleep with something, even as small as a diaper change, as long as you wake them up. Except at night, when you just feed and back into bed.

But as previously stated I believe (correct me others if I am wrong) that the idea is that at 9 months she should be getting enough cals during the day to not require night wakings anymore, they are only for comfort.

 

[katrinalorien]

Ok, I just need a space to talk. My LO was doing better and better after a little bit of CC, I thought everything was done (she originally wouldn't even be put down) but this we had worked through many weeks ago. Then two weeks ago she started sleeping five hour stretches I was just so ecstatic. Such a happy baby during the day. Then suddenly she's regressing. Now, last night, she woke every hour on the hour. DH doesn't want to sleep train again until she's six months, that way we know for sure she doesn't need night feedings, so I just need a place to talk . I thought we had it all under control and it was going in the right direction, and then I nursed her to sleep a few times and now I think she's gotten used to it again. I have to be so much more careful than that. I just feel like I really screwed it up, and now she's going to have to go through the whole thing again just because I messed up and nursed her to sleep.

Of course, all this plus no sleep for either of us has really gotten to me. I'm sure I would be thinking this through much clearer if I had a good night's rest.

 

[bananaz]

Ok, I just need a space to talk. My LO was doing better and better after a little bit of CC, I thought everything was done (she originally wouldn't even be put down) but this we had worked through many weeks ago. Then two weeks ago she started sleeping five hour stretches I was just so ecstatic. Such a happy baby during the day. Then suddenly she's regressing. Now, last night, she woke every hour on the hour. DH doesn't want to sleep train again until she's six months, that way we know for sure she doesn't need night feedings, so I just need a place to talk . I thought we had it all under control and it was going in the right direction, and then I nursed her to sleep a few times and now I think she's gotten used to it again. I have to be so much more careful than that. I just feel like I really screwed it up, and now she's going to have to go through the whole thing again just because I messed up and nursed her to sleep.

Of course, all this plus no sleep for either of us has really gotten to me. I'm sure I would be thinking this through much clearer if I had a good night's rest.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about nursing her to sleep a few times. Sleep associations generally aren't as big a deal at that age because their memory capacity is so limited (according to my LO's pediatrician anyway), so chances are it's just a coincidence

My LO also went through a massive sleep regression at around 3 months but then gradually her sleep started improving again on its own and for a while she was sleeping 8-10 hours a night (and that was with being nursed down). There are a lot of things that can affect babies' sleep - growth spurts, developmental leaps, etc. And like Noelle said in a previous post, sometimes babies just have a bad night! So hang in there, it will get better

 

[bananaz]

A small unexpected victory from tonight - I wasn't able to nurse LO down at bedtime like usual because my supply was tapped out so as an experiment I put her down facing the turtle night light. I fully expected her to launch into hysterics, but she fussed for like 15 seconds and then stuck her thumb in her mouth and fell asleep! I couldn't believe it. I guess this process is helping her learn after all.

The bad part, of course, is that my supply was tapped out so she didn't get her normal big bedtime feed and will probably be up to eat way too soon

 

[katrinalorien]

thanks bananaz - its just hard to remember that type of thing at 3 am, especially when it seems like all my friends' babies are sttn or close.


Good luck with tonight! I hope that she wakes soon for her big feed and then is down for a long time, for both of your sakes!

 

[Natsku]

Managed to get through the night with no bottles!! She hasn't had one in 24 hours now
The only tough bit was between half 10 and midnight when she wouldn't settle. Finally got her to drink a little milk from a sippy cup and then she settled down. Woke at 4 and moaned for 5 mins then went back to sleep, woke at 6 and cried, I went and gave her some milk from the sippy cup and then she moaned on and off for an hour before she gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed.

 

[Noelle610]

Night 3 was hard. Not sure if I did the right thing... Charlotte went down at 6:45pm with NO crying. She also took a 7 ounce bottle, so I thought for sure she would sleep a long stretch. She woke around 11pm and we decided to let her cry, since it hadn't been the 6 hours since she last ate. She cried for 30 minutes, it was awful! So I gave in and fed her. She then slept until 6am. But did I do the wrong thing by giving in? I'm afraid I'm being inconsistent, but she seemed truly hungry at that time.

 

[bananaz]

Night 3 was hard. Not sure if I did the right thing... Charlotte went down at 6:45pm with NO crying. She also took a 7 ounce bottle, so I thought for sure she would sleep a long stretch. She woke around 11pm and we decided to let her cry, since it hadn't been the 6 hours since she last ate. She cried for 30 minutes, it was awful! So I gave in and fed her. She then slept until 6am. But did I do the wrong thing by giving in? I'm afraid I'm being inconsistent, but she seemed truly hungry at that time.

The fact that she then slept until 6 makes me think it was the right thing - it sounds like she was actually hungry rather than just looking for comfort.

 

[katrinalorien]

Night 3 was hard. Not sure if I did the right thing... Charlotte went down at 6:45pm with NO crying. She also took a 7 ounce bottle, so I thought for sure she would sleep a long stretch. She woke around 11pm and we decided to let her cry, since it hadn't been the 6 hours since she last ate. She cried for 30 minutes, it was awful! So I gave in and fed her. She then slept until 6am. But did I do the wrong thing by giving in? I'm afraid I'm being inconsistent, but she seemed truly hungry at that time.

I think sometimes you have to feed a hungry baby! You gotta go with your instincts, and I think you did the right thing. Its not "giving in" if its not a comfort feed (as bananaz pointed out)

 

[bananaz]

Night 4 was somewhat better. She went down at 8pm (awake! with no crying!) and didn't wake until 1am, when I went ahead and fed her since that's the time she was hungry the night before. She then slept until 4:15am and I fed her again. She woke at 5:40am and grumbled for a while but never actually cried, except for when I went in to check on her Anyway, she finally went to sleep and then got up for the day at 7am.

Now that I know she's able to settle herself from awake I think I'm going to work on shifting the night feeds later using the gradual night weaning method Ferber recommends. She used to sleep from 8pm until at least 3 or 4am so I don't think that's an unreasonable goal to start with, especially since she seems to be moving back in that direction on her own anyway.

 

[DaisyBee]

Managed to get through the night with no bottles!! She hasn't had one in 24 hours now
The only tough bit was between half 10 and midnight when she wouldn't settle. Finally got her to drink a little milk from a sippy cup and then she settled down. Woke at 4 and moaned for 5 mins then went back to sleep, woke at 6 and cried, I went and gave her some milk from the sippy cup and then she moaned on and off for an hour before she gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed.

Yay! That is great news!

 

[HopingFor2v1]

It's so great to come back and check on the thread and hear everyone's babies are doing so well!

We had a pretty good night with Riley last night. Riley had her 6 month appt yesterday and I talked with her doctor about how she was doing with her weight and he thought we could limit her feedings at night as she was doing well gaining weight. She's a whopping 13lbs 6 oz So, last night, we put her down like normal at around 7pm, and she woke up at 10:30pm so DH fed her 6oz then she went right back to sleep. She woke again at 3am and 5am and both times I went and comforted her then put her right back to bed. I was expecting her to put up a fight, but to my surprise, she grumbled then fell back to sleep! She woke for the day at 7:45 and was so happy Hopefully we can do the same again tonight!

Ladies, I'm so grateful for all your advice and thanks for helping me through some tough nights!

 

[Natsku]

Managed to get through the night with no bottles!! She hasn't had one in 24 hours now
The only tough bit was between half 10 and midnight when she wouldn't settle. Finally got her to drink a little milk from a sippy cup and then she settled down. Woke at 4 and moaned for 5 mins then went back to sleep, woke at 6 and cried, I went and gave her some milk from the sippy cup and then she moaned on and off for an hour before she gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed.

Yay! That is great news!

Length of crying tonight - zero minutes! She went straight to sleep

 

[DaisyBee]

Night 3 was hard. Not sure if I did the right thing... Charlotte went down at 6:45pm with NO crying. She also took a 7 ounce bottle, so I thought for sure she would sleep a long stretch. She woke around 11pm and we decided to let her cry, since it hadn't been the 6 hours since she last ate. She cried for 30 minutes, it was awful! So I gave in and fed her. She then slept until 6am. But did I do the wrong thing by giving in? I'm afraid I'm being inconsistent, but she seemed truly hungry at that time.

It sounds like it was the right thing! That is totally ok thing for her. Going down first with no crying is the biggest part of cc I think. It's about them learning that they san settle themselves. And she did settle herself all night except for once, and that sounded like she was hungry.

Jordan did the same. She was up crying hard at 12:00 for a bottle. I fed her. She slept the rest of the night. I've also realized she is teething again so I gave her some tylenol at the same time.

Bananaz it sounds like things are going well for you too!

 

[DaisyBee]

Managed to get through the night with no bottles!! She hasn't had one in 24 hours now
The only tough bit was between half 10 and midnight when she wouldn't settle. Finally got her to drink a little milk from a sippy cup and then she settled down. Woke at 4 and moaned for 5 mins then went back to sleep, woke at 6 and cried, I went and gave her some milk from the sippy cup and then she moaned on and off for an hour before she gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed.

Yay! That is great news!

Length of crying tonight - zero minutes! She went straight to sleep

Lol so she did surprise you and pick it up fast! That's awesome!

 

[bananaz]

Help lol. My little girl is 9 months old and she will only nurse to sleep, for naps and at bedtime, she cannot self settle and for a long time I have not been able to put her in her cot awake/drowsy or she just screams blue murder so its been 'easier' to continue feeding her to sleep as it means no tears. She won't take a dummy/pacifier or a bottle. She had a fantastic stage where she sttn 12 hours but from 6 months its all gone out the window. She is waking at least twice, more often three times and she has at least a 15 minute feed each time. Weaning has not gone well, and she only eats a tiny amount of solids so I've been feeling she needs the night feeds even though I know they shouldn't from 6 months. We've been discussing using controlled crying as its getting to the point where its starting to get really hard on me, my oh can't put her to bed because she's reliant on me to fall asleep, and if she does wake, he can't settle her, and naptimes are terrible, she quite often doesn't have one as she'll wake when I stop nursing and I can't get her to go back to sleep. I also go back to work in a couple of months and need her to nap there, and cannot be waking up 3 times a night and function properly in my job.

I'm going to find this super hard as I don't normally leave her to cry at all. Shes very stubborn, I was out the other evening and she woke an hour after going to bed, my oh tried everything to get her back down but she was hysterical when I got in 45 minutes later and only nursing got her back to.sleep. She won't give in easily I know that. Is that normal for them to get so hysterical? Also she normally wakes for a feed about 2 or 3 hours after going down. If she's still crying on those first few nights of trying, do I continue to leave her? Or do I feed her, in which case she'll fall asleep ruining what we've been trying to do. Can you do controlled crying when they are still waking in the night? Does it help with that?

Really hoping someone who's been in a similar situation can offer some advice. Thanks in advance

If your LO is feeding 2-3 times a night for 15 minutes at a time then she's probably getting a lot of her calories at night so I would recommend starting with gradual night weaning first. The method is from Ferber and it basically works like this - you start with her normal length nursing session and subtract a few minutes for the first night, then you subtract another minute every night or two until the feedings are totally eliminated.

So if she normally nurses for 15 minutes you might try 12 minute nursing sessions the first night, then 11 minute sessions, then 10 minutes, etc etc. If she cries when you put her down that's okay, just pat her and soothe her however works best (Ferber says not to worry about creating new sleep associations at this stage). The idea is that this will gradually shift her biological rhythms so that she is hungry during the day instead of at night.

According to Ferber this method is really effective for a lot of babies and may be sufficient in terms of getting her to sleep better at night, but if she has a really strong sucking-to-sleep association then you likely will still need to do CC to help her settle for naps and bedtime. Good luck!

 

[CertainTurton]

I find it so comforting reading you ladies successes...were just waiting to start CC and I hope it works for us. Unfortunately our DD has just been diagnosed with 'slapped cheek' and is feeling rough with a temp again so I dont think we will be starting it tomorrow night now....sigh there is always something stopping us but hopefully she will be better by Monday night.
I think we will have a rough night ahead with her

 

[_dreamer_]

Help lol. My little girl is 9 months old and she will only nurse to sleep, for naps and at bedtime, she cannot self settle and for a long time I have not been able to put her in her cot awake/drowsy or she just screams blue murder so its been 'easier' to continue feeding her to sleep as it means no tears. She won't take a dummy/pacifier or a bottle. She had a fantastic stage where she sttn 12 hours but from 6 months its all gone out the window. She is waking at least twice, more often three times and she has at least a 15 minute feed each time. Weaning has not gone well, and she only eats a tiny amount of solids so I've been feeling she needs the night feeds even though I know they shouldn't from 6 months. We've been discussing using controlled crying as its getting to the point where its starting to get really hard on me, my oh can't put her to bed because she's reliant on me to fall asleep, and if she does wake, he can't settle her, and naptimes are terrible, she quite often doesn't have one as she'll wake when I stop nursing and I can't get her to go back to sleep. I also go back to work in a couple of months and need her to nap there, and cannot be waking up 3 times a night and function properly in my job.

I'm going to find this super hard as I don't normally leave her to cry at all. Shes very stubborn, I was out the other evening and she woke an hour after going to bed, my oh tried everything to get her back down but she was hysterical when I got in 45 minutes later and only nursing got her back to.sleep. She won't give in easily I know that. Is that normal for them to get so hysterical? Also she normally wakes for a feed about 2 or 3 hours after going down. If she's still crying on those first few nights of trying, do I continue to leave her? Or do I feed her, in which case she'll fall asleep ruining what we've been trying to do. Can you do controlled crying when they are still waking in the night? Does it help with that?

Really hoping someone who's been in a similar situation can offer some advice. Thanks in advance

If your LO is feeding 2-3 times a night for 15 minutes at a time then she's probably getting a lot of her calories at night so I would recommend starting with gradual night weaning first. The method is from Ferber and it basically works like this - you start with her normal length nursing session and subtract a few minutes for the first night, then you subtract another minute every night or two until the feedings are totally eliminated.

So if she normally nurses for 15 minutes you might try 12 minute nursing sessions the first night, then 11 minute sessions, then 10 minutes, etc etc. If she cries when you put her down that's okay, just pat her and soothe her however works best (Ferber says not to worry about creating new sleep associations at this stage). The idea is that this will gradually shift her biological rhythms so that she is hungry during the day instead of at night.

According to Ferber this method is really effective for a lot of babies and may be sufficient in terms of getting her to sleep better at night, but if she has a really strong sucking-to-sleep association then you likely will still need to do CC to help her settle for naps and bedtime. Good luck!

Thank you so much for your reply. That really helps, it makes sense to try sort out the night feedings first before trying controlled crying for settling) which I still think we'll have to do to break the association like you said). I hadn't thought about cutting it down gradually. Someone told me to just do 5 minutes, but when I did that when I put her down she just woke back up screaming and wanted more food. I think you're right there that she's getting a lot of her calories at night as she doesn't have a feed in the morning anymore til she's been up for 2 hours. And she only has 3 feeds a day. I shall definitely try this first. Thanks again

 

[Natsku]

Managed to get through the night with no bottles!! She hasn't had one in 24 hours now
The only tough bit was between half 10 and midnight when she wouldn't settle. Finally got her to drink a little milk from a sippy cup and then she settled down. Woke at 4 and moaned for 5 mins then went back to sleep, woke at 6 and cried, I went and gave her some milk from the sippy cup and then she moaned on and off for an hour before she gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed.

Yay! That is great news!

Length of crying tonight - zero minutes! She went straight to sleep

Lol so she did surprise you and pick it up fast! That's awesome!

Well she's awake and crying now but not hard, more like moaning. Been in a couple of times and offered milk from the sippy cup again. She went to bed ridiculously early - half 5!