CC/CIO Support and Information Thread

[_dreamer_]

dreamer - although I do not have one as old as you I believe that the idea is that by 9 months they do not need to eat at night, it is only for comfort, so you have to do whatever it takes to get your LO back to sleep at night and at naps without nursing. Can you put her on EASY? EASY stands for Eat, Activity, Sleep, You, meaning you always feed when LO wakes, that way you know she is fed before naptime. You always separate feeding and the nap or sleep with something, even as small as a diaper change, as long as you wake them up. Except at night, when you just feed and back into bed.

But as previously stated I believe (correct me others if I am wrong) that the idea is that at 9 months she should be getting enough cals during the day to not require night wakings anymore, they are only for comfort.

Thank you so much for your response. I think she's just gotten into the habit of waking at night for food, and she's getting a lot of her calories then as she only has 3 feeds in the day and doesn't want a feed for 2 hours when she wakes in the morning. I've been continuing to let her as I've been worried she needs the calories as age barely eats any solids, but I know if I can stop it, she'll have a good feed on waking and make up for it in the day. It's going about it that I'm struggling with, as if I dont feed her, she just screams and screams and I can't get her back to sleep no matter what I try. another poster suggested gradually reducing the feeds times so think I'm going to try that. I'm aiming to end up with the EASY principles, but don't know how to help her fall asleep without feeding. I'm going to change the night time routine too to be feed, bath, story bed but think I will have to use controlled crying to get her to sleep by herself

 

[DaisyBee]

Natsku - are you waiting to see if she would just go back to sleep herself before going in? If she is just moaning she might?

Dreamer - I ff but I did what bananaz talked about but with bottles with Jordan and it worked very well. I had been giving her 4-5 oz at night and the first night offered her only 4, next night 3, next night 2. I kept at 2 oz for a week as I was hoping she would just then drop that bottle at night. She did sleep through one night without it. The next night she woke again at that same time. I did cc that night with her in the night. I felt better knowing if I gradually took those calories away she would replace them in the day vs just being hungry all night from all of a sudden taking away a feeding.

 

[Natsku]

I went in a few times when the moaning turned into crying but then she went back to moaning off and on and finally fell asleep two and a half hours later. Really hope she sleeps the rest of the night as I've got a nasty headache.

 

[DaisyBee]

I went in a few times when the moaning turned into crying but then she went back to moaning off and on and finally fell asleep two and a half hours later. Really hope she sleeps the rest of the night as I've got a nasty headache.

 

[Natsku]

She was up 3 or 4 more times but she didn't get up for the day til 8 so I'm actually feeling pretty rested

 

[lysh]

Okay, so last night baby girl was up every hour or less. All. Night. Long. She has been regressing in her sleep at night and during the day. We went through this a week ago and now it is happening again. Her new thing is to use me as a paci to not only go to sleep (which is normal), but to now STAY asleep. And of course to go back to sleep when she wakes up. My poor back cannot handle this either!

So now that I am 3 weeks away from being a full time working mom, I have to get this under control. If we lived in a perfect world I would wait to sleep train her, but just as I cannot wake up to rainbows, sunny skies, and butterflies on a daily basis, I have to deal with the reality we are facing and my sleep deprivation is making it hard to function. I will not be able to do this and work, maintain a house, and most importantly be able to emotionally and mentally take good care of her when I am home. Plus it is not good for her to be waking up constantly either.

So next weekend we are moving her into her room. We are going to put the crib in there in a few days and I will have her play in it again and try a few naps (if possible since she is regressing with naps too) in her crib to get use to it in her new room. Then Friday night we will have her try sleeping in the crib. Two things I need to do: space out her feedings which I will try using the Ferber method. She will be 4 months, so even if I feed her every 3 hours it is better than every hour. I am not expecting her to go the whole night without feeding yet. Second issue is that she needs to learn how to self settle and go to sleep without my nipple- which means we will need to CC since gentle methods do not work well with my dd. She is strong willed already!

So I will be sure to share our journey as we get closer to next weekend.

 

[bananaz]

Okay, so last night baby girl was up every hour or less. All. Night. Long. She has been regressing in her sleep at night and during the day. We went through this a week ago and now it is happening again. Her new thing is to use me as a paci to not only go to sleep (which is normal), but to now STAY asleep. And of course to go back to sleep when she wakes up. My poor back cannot handle this either!

So now that I am 3 weeks away from being a full time working mom, I have to get this under control. If we lived in a perfect world I would wait to sleep train her, but just as I cannot wake up to rainbows, sunny skies, and butterflies on a daily basis, I have to deal with the reality we are facing and my sleep deprivation is making it hard to function. I will not be able to do this and work, maintain a house, and most importantly be able to emotionally and mentally take good care of her when I am home. Plus it is not good for her to be waking up constantly either.

So next weekend we are moving her into her room. We are going to put the crib in there in a few days and I will have her play in it again and try a few naps (if possible since she is regressing with naps too) in her crib to get use to it in her new room. Then Friday night we will have her try sleeping in the crib. Two things I need to do: space out her feedings which I will try using the Ferber method. She will be 4 months, so even if I feed her every 3 hours it is better than every hour. I am not expecting her to go the whole night without feeding yet. Second issue is that she needs to learn how to self settle and go to sleep without my nipple- which means we will need to CC since gentle methods do not work well with my dd. She is strong willed already!

So I will be sure to share our journey as we get closer to next weekend.

Wow, being up every hour just isn't sustainable, not for you and especially not for such a little baby. She must be overtired all the time, poor thing (and poor you, I can't imagine!) . You know your LO best so if you think CC is the appropriate next step then I really hope it works out for you

 

[bananaz]

Last night was our best night yet. Bedtime was a little rough, but I think that was because we had a lot of people over and she was overstimulated. I'm wondering if I need to make our bedtime routine longer so she has more time to wind down.

In any case, she only had 2 wakings instead of her typical 3-4, and only one night feed! Her first waking was at 1:30am, when I fed her, and the second was at 3am when she was really just grumbling. I did one check and she settled herself within about 10min. I heard a few random squawks from her after that but she never actually started fussing or crying.

 

[megangrohl]

OK I need help I am about reading to pull my fucking hair out. Excuse the swearing but I am so frustrated. My baby will NOT sleep. She is 6 months old. I have to stop rocking her to sleep because she has sleep association with that now and when I finally do put her down she only stays asleep anywhere between 30 minutes to 45 minutes at a time - tops. Then I have to do it again. ALL FUCKING NIGHT FOR 10 HOURS STRAIGHT!!!! I am freaking out.

I tried CC lastnight. That didn't work either. She just ended up going into hysterics and so upset she couldn't breathe and she unded up VOMITING all over herself, the crib, me and the floor. The ONLY thing that would help her to sleep is doing skin to skin and she was so tired. At this point it was over 2 hours of her being awake.

Now she is resisting her naps AND nighttime sleep. I am breaking down I can't stop crying 1. because I am now a single mom and doing it alone and the break up is really hard on me. and 2. because she is not sleeping.

I don't know what to do I have tried pu/pd, shush pat, CC, rocking which I refuse to do anymore and co-sleeping which I can't do either. I have had a total of 1.5 hours of sleep and I am running on fucking empty. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME I AM GOING INSANE! I haven't stopped crying in god knows how long. A week?

And no there is nobody that can help me either. So that is not an option.

ETA - She has been in her crib crying for 45 minutes, up for 2.5 hours and she STILL won't sleep. And she IS tired. She is rubbing her eyes. And she has a soother which she constantly tries to take out of her mouth. I'm getting so fed up !!!!!!

 

[bananaz]

OK I need help I am about reading to pull my fucking hair out. Excuse the swearing but I am so frustrated. My baby will NOT sleep. She is 6 months old. I have to stop rocking her to sleep because she has sleep association with that now and when I finally do put her down she only stays asleep anywhere between 30 minutes to 45 minutes at a time - tops. Then I have to do it again. ALL FUCKING NIGHT FOR 10 HOURS STRAIGHT!!!! I am freaking out.

I tried CC lastnight. That didn't work either. She just ended up going into hysterics and so upset she couldn't breathe and she unded up VOMITING all over herself, the crib, me and the floor. The ONLY thing that would help her to sleep is doing skin to skin and she was so tired. At this point it was over 2 hours of her being awake.

Now she is resisting her naps AND nighttime sleep. I am breaking down I can't stop crying 1. because I am now a single mom and doing it alone and the break up is really hard on me. and 2. because she is not sleeping.

I don't know what to do I have tried pu/pd, shush pat, CC, rocking which I refuse to do anymore and co-sleeping which I can't do either. I have had a total of 1.5 hours of sleep and I am running on fucking empty. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME I AM GOING INSANE! I haven't stopped crying in god knows how long. A week?

And no there is nobody that can help me either. So that is not an option.

ETA - She has been in her crib crying for 45 minutes, up for 2.5 hours and she STILL won't sleep. And she IS tired. She is rubbing her eyes. And she has a soother which she constantly tries to take out of her mouth. I'm getting so fed up !!!!!!

I'm sorry things are so rough right now. Is it possible there's something going on with her physically that could be keeping her awake? Teething maybe? You might try giving her some Tylenol or Ibuprofen and see if that helps.

Also, is there anyone who could watch her for a little bit so you could get a break? It sounds like you are really at the end of your rope and I think some time off would be beneficial for both you and baby.

Hang in there, mama!

 

[Natsku]

that sounds horribly exhausting Are you sure its just the sleep association causing the wake ups? How long has she been like this? Maybe take her to her doctor and check that there's nothing else that could be causing her sleep issues.
Wish I had some advice for you

 

[megangrohl]

No there is nobody and it's not teething because she has been awake for 4 hours now without a nap. I tried for 3.5 hours and she wouldn't sleep. I kept going in every 3-5 minutes and it made her worse and worse and worse each time. She won't nap and she won't sleep at night. She just rolls onto her belly and then onto her arms she goes like she is gonna start crawling and I did that for 2 hours - going in every 3-5 minutes and she was like that every time. She constantly has her hands in her face, taking her soother out etc and she cried for 2 hours in her crib and STILL would not sleep.

I gave her tylenol, teething gel, a bottle, changed her bum, and still she cried. And as soon as I took her out of her crib she was happy. She has only slept 6 hours from midnight until now 11:15AM. She should have had 2 naps by now.

And she has been like this for over 2 months now but it is just getting worse and worse every day that goes by

ETA - I have taken her to see her doctor which just said "this is what babies do" and that she is completely healthy. So there is nothing I can do except be sleep deprived and go crazy

 

[bumpycat]

OK I need help I am about reading to pull my fucking hair out. Excuse the swearing but I am so frustrated. My baby will NOT sleep. She is 6 months old. I have to stop rocking her to sleep because she has sleep association with that now and when I finally do put her down she only stays asleep anywhere between 30 minutes to 45 minutes at a time - tops. Then I have to do it again. ALL FUCKING NIGHT FOR 10 HOURS STRAIGHT!!!! I am freaking out.

I tried CC lastnight. That didn't work either. She just ended up going into hysterics and so upset she couldn't breathe and she unded up VOMITING all over herself, the crib, me and the floor. The ONLY thing that would help her to sleep is doing skin to skin and she was so tired. At this point it was over 2 hours of her being awake.

Now she is resisting her naps AND nighttime sleep. I am breaking down I can't stop crying 1. because I am now a single mom and doing it alone and the break up is really hard on me. and 2. because she is not sleeping.

I don't know what to do I have tried pu/pd, shush pat, CC, rocking which I refuse to do anymore and co-sleeping which I can't do either. I have had a total of 1.5 hours of sleep and I am running on fucking empty. SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME I AM GOING INSANE! I haven't stopped crying in god knows how long. A week?

And no there is nobody that can help me either. So that is not an option.

ETA - She has been in her crib crying for 45 minutes, up for 2.5 hours and she STILL won't sleep. And she IS tired. She is rubbing her eyes. And she has a soother which she constantly tries to take out of her mouth. I'm getting so fed up !!!!!!

It sounds like you have tried a lot of things. I have a few suggestions that might help, but as my experience is very limited and I don't know your entire situation, they could be useless.

What intervals were you using for the controlled crying? 6 months is still pretty young, and you might want to try it with quite short intervals between going in for reassurance. I started CC at 4 months but kept it to no more than 5 minutes at a time, and stopped entirely after 45 minutes, just bringing LO into bed with me for the night.

EDIT: I see you've answered this - definitely not intervals that are too long then!

Could you tell us why you can't do co-sleeping (by which I mean bed-sharing, to be explicit)? It's possible that there is a solution that would work for you and your LO that maybe is not obvious at the moment because you are so terribly sleep deprived and stressed. I get the impression it is not the ideal solution for you, but it could be a temporary respite so you and LO can get past being overtired. It's really tough to do sleep training when LO is overtired.

Do you have a baby carrier or a sling? Lots of babies fall asleep easily when carried by mum. It's not right for night time, but could help you with naps, especially if you need to get other things done during the day. Some babies will also tolerate being transferred from a carrier into their bed while sleeping, though yours sounds like she's quite sensitive and would probably wake up if you tried it.

I found pu/pd just over-stimulated my LO, and he never calmed down enough for shh-pat to be effective once he started to wail. Every baby is different, and eventually you will find something that works for yours. I'm sorry I can't offer more than hope.

EDIT: Sounds like you have an easily over-stimulated LO too It's rough sometimes.

 

[megangrohl]

Thanks for the help. I go in every 3-5 minutes to reassure her that I am still here. But I spent 4 hours doing that and she still wouldn't sleep. I don't know what to do, like how long do I leave her to do that? I think she is also having separation anxiety because sometimes during the day if I have to pee and she is in her jumper (normally very happily) she will cry until I return.

I can't bring her into bed with me because she won't sleep there either. I try and hold her hands down and she fights it kicking her legs and trying to push my arms away. I have tried co sleeping for months. 2+ months now and it worked while she was swaddled but she is too big for her swaddle now, plus she is rolling and I don't want her to roll off the bed if I manage to fall asleep. Plus I am a very light sleeper and any kind of movement or sound wakes me so I don't get any sleep even if she is sleeping next to me.

I have a baby carrier but she is too heavy she is 20 lbs and really big for her age and it hurts my back. I don't have a sling, for the same reasons.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Thanks for the help. I go in every 3-5 minutes to reassure her that I am still here. But I spent 4 hours doing that and she still wouldn't sleep. I don't know what to do, like how long do I leave her to do that? I think she is also having separation anxiety because sometimes during the day if I have to pee and she is in her jumper (normally very happily) she will cry until I return.

I can't bring her into bed with me because she won't sleep there either. I try and hold her hands down and she fights it kicking her legs and trying to push my arms away. I have tried co sleeping for months. 2+ months now and it worked while she was swaddled but she is too big for her swaddle now, plus she is rolling and I don't want her to roll off the bed if I manage to fall asleep. Plus I am a very light sleeper and any kind of movement or sound wakes me so I don't get any sleep even if she is sleeping next to me.

I have a baby carrier but she is too heavy she is 20 lbs and really big for her age and it hurts my back. I don't have a sling, for the same reasons.

I'm so sorry! You must be exhausted! I don't have any advice because I haven't tried cc or cio yet but I know your pain about LO not sleeping. Lilly isn't as bad as your Lily but she wakes up 8+ times a night every night. :/

I just wanted to say hang in there!

 

[megangrohl]

Well, I put her in her crib again. She was crying and crying. So I tried PU/PD again. She settled in my arms obviously because she is so tired. And I attempted putting her back in her crib. First time she cried, but then I picked her back up and shushed her and she dozed again and I put her in her crib. She has been sleeping for 15 minutes now. I put a white noise machine in there but it only stays on for 5 minutes at a time so I think I need to go out and buy a new one that stays on all the time.

I still can't sleep because that's just how I am. No matter how tired I am during the day I can't nap. So I guess I will just keep on doing it this way to get her used to her crib and see how it goes each time. It will be tiring but she has to get used to her crib.

Thank you everyone for the responses. They really mean alot. I will keep everyone posted on how she progresses for her sleeping. What gets me is she used to sleep 12 hrs straight from months 2 to 4 in her crib then she just stopped. Argh!

 

[megangrohl]

She only slept 25 minutes I guess it is better than nothing.

 

[lysh]

megangrohl- I am sorry, you really do have your hands full. It is hard to deal and come up with solutions when so sleep deprived (especially after trying so many things). Maybe see another doctor and get a second opinion just to make sure there is nothing going on? Hang in there momma!

 

[megangrohl]

I saw 2 doctors One in the ER when she was sick with a cold and my actual family doctor and both said the same thing. I think I just have a really high needs, fussy baby and nothing I do will really help and just have to suck it up because CC won't work and that was my last resort.

 

[lysh]

Yeah, having a high needs baby can be rough. There are forums and support out there for parents with high needs children, sometimes having others to relate too can help you not feel like you are going crazy! I am sorry CC did not work, I am almost afraid of the same thing. I am doing it at 4 months (pending my pediatricians approval), which according to one 'expert' is the earliest to start. So we shall see!