CC/CIO Support and Information Thread

[Noelle610]

I wasn't going to, and I don't mind if she wakes for a feed, it's just all the messing about in between. I didn't feed her at 1am because I thought she couldn't possibly be hungry - she had some pureed carrot & baby rice at 5pm, and 8oz bottle at 6pm (we were amazed she took it all), then had a further 4oz when I put her down at quarter to 8 - she doesn't usually drink this much, but was looking for her bottle before bed so I gave her a small one. Maybe that was it? If she hadn't had that last feed, I would've offered a bottle at 1am.

She's always woken up a few times (4 or 5), looking for a missing dummy usually - she whinges but once the dummy is in she'll go off again. She doesn't usually wake up and cry for minutes at a time like she did last night. And there is usually a wake-up around 3am looking for a feed.

The only reason I suggested it was that it was unlike the other wakings by being so long and it seems like she settled after being fed. It's so hard to tell sometimes, isn't it? I want to feed my baby if she's hungry, but I also don't want to reinforce a night waking habit if she's capable of getting her calories during the day. Tough call!

On the advice of a lactation consultant I worked with, I am not feeding unless it's been 6 hours since she last ate overnight. I was told Charlotte at 5 months old should be able to do a 6 hour stretch. You were close to the 6 hour mark, but not quite there yet, so I'm not sure I have great advice! Just thought I'd share what I am doing. After the initial 6 hour stretch, I was told to feed every 3 hours if demanded as I do during the day.

Have you taken away the dummy? Perhaps that's why it's taking her a bit longer to settle?

 

[I-want-1-2]

She's still got her dummy, but is currently in the habit of taking it out and flinging it across the room! I'll use that 6 hours as a guide I think, she should definately be able to last that long at night. Thanks for helping! x

 

[DaisyBee]

We found that taking jordans pacifier at night really helped her sleep and then I forgot to take it at night for a few nights ( she usually has it for naps but sometimes just spits it out and sometimes uses it for those naps). Those nights she started with the pacifier she woke a lot and I couldn't figure out why. I then realized I kept replacing her pacifier. That night that I realized I didn't give it to her and she slept through. Last night she woke sounding upset around midnight and I burped her and gave her a pacifier and she fell back asleep.

She was sick a few weeks ago with a cold and was barely eating during the day and barely sleeping day or night as was so sick she couldn't sleep. I was giving her bottles at night trying to get something in her, she was having very few wet diapers. After she started feeling better she kept waking for a bottle at 11pm. Well that early in the night and the same exact time every night seems like habit vs hunger to me. I wanted to gradually take it away again ( decrease oz over time) as she had been used to getting those oz then after I was feeding her at night. When sleeping through the night without a feed she was taking 24-25 oz during the day. When having a bottle at night she has approx. 20 oz at the most the next day. ( and she is on solids as well).

 

[Serenity_Now]

My son is 5 months old. My home visiting nurse suggested we think about some sleep training because he has been waking up at 3 AM and 4 AM for the day over the last three weeks consistently and I've tried everything else to get him back down and my sleep is severely suffering.

He goes down for the night like a champ in his co-sleeper. The first wake-up goes fine, after about 5-6 hours of sleep. It's the second wake after just two hours or less that he's decided to be up for at least 2-3 hours.

What would you suggest? Using CC at this time of night?

I was thinking about starting with putting him in his crib in his nursery for the first leg of his sleep and then bringing him into the co-sleeper after the first waking but maybe it's best to do it all at once? Maybe being so near me is what's keeping him up?

Help. I'm desperate for some sleep.

 

[bumpycat]

My son is 5 months old. My home visiting nurse suggested we think about some sleep training because he has been waking up at 3 AM and 4 AM for the day over the last three weeks consistently and I've tried everything else to get him back down and my sleep is severely suffering.

He goes down for the night like a champ in his co-sleeper. The first wake-up goes fine, after about 5-6 hours of sleep. It's the second wake after just two hours or less that he's decided to be up for at least 2-3 hours.

What would you suggest? Using CC at this time of night?

I was thinking about starting with putting him in his crib in his nursery for the first leg of his sleep and then bringing him into the co-sleeper after the first waking but maybe it's best to do it all at once? Maybe being so near me is what's keeping him up?

Help. I'm desperate for some sleep.

Hi Serenity, nice to see you here! I'm stalking answers to this as we have a very similar pattern of behaviour with my almost 5 month old. He starts the night in his cot around 6:30pm, goes down very easily most nights, and is pretty good until his ~midnight feed. After that it's a total crapshoot, and often ends with LO and me in the big bed with him attached like a limpet to my boob, waking every 30-60 minutes with anything from fussing to screaming, and OH on the sofa bed in the nursery. We give up after 5:30 or 6am and one of us will get up with LO to let the other sleep. It's awful.

 

[Noelle610]

So day 2. Cried (actually fussed, really) for 4 minutes at bedtime of 6:45pm. Up at 1:30am and DH fed her a 6 ounce bottle of BM. No fussing/crying after being put back down. It's 6am and she's still sleeping. One waking. 4 minutes of crying. This is really too good to be true. I should be optimistic, but I'm terrified. Is tonight bound to be awful?

 

[Serenity_Now]

Hi Serenity, nice to see you here! I'm stalking answers to this as we have a very similar pattern of behaviour with my almost 5 month old. He starts the night in his cot around 6:30pm, goes down very easily most nights, and is pretty good until his ~midnight feed. After that it's a total crapshoot, and often ends with LO and me in the big bed with him attached like a limpet to my boob, waking every 30-60 minutes with anything from fussing to screaming, and OH on the sofa bed in the nursery. We give up after 5:30 or 6am and one of us will get up with LO to let the other sleep. It's awful.

Hi Bumpy!

So Night 1 of Project Move Derek to Nursery Crib is complete. I put him in his crib at 8 PM. He only kind of talked/fussed going down. I noticed he was quiet if I sang lullabies. I sang him to sleepiness and then left the room. He was asleep when I left at 8:30 PM.

He woke at 12:30 AM but I did not go in because he wasn't crying, just talking to himself a little, quietly. He must have gone back to sleep because he didn't start getting loud until 2:30 AM. I fed him. Then he went back to sleep until 5 AM! I fed him. I put him back and he talked to himself a little bit until 6 AM when he started really fussing and we got up for the day.

He never cried during any part of this process.

I can do 6 AM.

I cannot do 3 AM.

Success!

 

[megangrohl]

Well ladies, lastnight was our first night without a swaddle. She had been fighting it for the last 2-3 weeks, with grunting and everything. lol poor little bugger...anyways here is how our night went

7pm finally fell asleep
8pm cried for soother but wasn't awake
9pm cried for soother but wasn't awake + fed her 4.5 oz while asleep
10pm woke for about 15 minutes, needed some soothing to sleep
10:15pm -2:45am slept soundly
3:30am -7am slept soundly and we are now up for the day

I was really expecting it to be alot worse considering I tried this about 2.5 weeks ago and nothing that I tried would work so I had to swaddle her in the end. I think that having her sleep all day for her naps without a swaddle helped her get used to this a bit more. I am OK with waking up once a night instead of 2 or 3 times that it has been lately!

I know this isn't really a CIO or CC solution but I wanted to give my little review. Maybe me going in there when she cried and soothing her a bit is a form of CC? I'm not sure but what I am doing seems to be working at least.

 

[I-want-1-2]

It's such a relief when what you are doing seems to be working! I've realised that I need to give her last bottle before bedtime in her room with the nightlight on - reverted last night to giving it to her downstairs, and she cried for 30 minutes when I put her to bed. "Started again" with giving her a small bottle in her room, nice and relaxed, and she went down in 4 minutes with only a small amount of fussing. She woke twice before midnight but went down again both times after 2 minutes, woke twice before 4am but SETTLED HERSELF!!! That has NEVER happened before She woke for a bottle at 3.50am, then woke twice more settling herself before we got up for the day at 8.20am. I am amazed that she is learning to settle herself and it's only night 3! Hoping for similar miracles tonight, as she seems to have mastered going down for naps with no tears

I am truly amazed at the difference I'm seeing

 

[CertainTurton]

Hi,

After talking about doing CC last weekend we actually havent started yet and she was poorly anyway she is much better now so we are starting it on Sunday (Im out tonight and we are at a bonfire party on sat). Really hope it works for us!
I have a question re naps. She is awful and settling for naps (and staying asleep) do you do CC for naps as well as at night? Thanks!

 

[Noelle610]

Certain, most of the experts recommend beginning with night sleep. Night and naps at the same time is often too much at once. Naps sometimes sort themselves out on their own after night sleep, but if not you can tackle that later

 

[lysh]

After my previous posts, I did some research. I read Dr. Ferber's book. I need to read it again slower, however, what I read in his book is different from what I read on the web. He said that for major sleep issues, you can start dealing with it at 3-4 months. If there are just some minor issues then it is better to wait for at least 5 months and than at that point deal with the minor issues.

My panic button is high as my LO is still waking up numerous times per night and I have to go back to work at the end of this month. I BF, so the weight is on my shoulders (DH has tried a bottle feeding once during the night and she flat out refuses...she will drink maybe an ounce if lucky and then wants to nurse). She will be 4 months old the 12th. Knowing her personality, we will have to do some sort of CC at some point. Since many of you have done it or are working on it now, maybe you have some suggestions. I am a planner, and I need to set up a plan for us to deal with the sleep issues.

We worked on getting her in her crib for naps, which involved crying but I never left her. Some days are easier than others and at times I need to leave her in our bed because now the only way she is napping is nursing lying down. I think she is regressing with letting me put her down for naps because during the night she sleeps with me. Here are the issues:

Where we currently are:

* She bedshares with me during the night. I tried getting her into her crib (which is next to my bed) but she would end up waking up 10-11 times during the night rather than 5-6. Due to exhaustion, after a week of this, she is back in bed with me. I never did CC as I stayed and patted her...I was hoping to at least get her use to her crib. That is not happening as she looks to nurse to sleep.

* I have scoliosis and my back is having a hard time bedsharing.

* she is getting into the habit now of needing to nurse laying down in bed with me for naps and bedtime.

* As much as my back hurts and as much as I want more sleep, I have to get past my own feelings of partially enjoying having her next to me and the fact that I will miss her being there.....

* due to the huge transition of me going back to work I either need to 'train' her before I go back to work or wait until Christmas break. She will be 5 1/2 months at that point. My job is very stressful and I am not sure what I can handle.

Where I would like to be:

* Eventually have her in her own room (dh back in our room), in her crib, waking up no more than twice a night for now. I would also like her to be able to take a bottle for one of the awakenings from dad, but first I need to get her to sleep.

* To mentally let go of the idea of having my baby with me all night. If I could stay at home it would be different, but I need to get this under control. She is getting too fussy during the late morning hours as well which keeps me up.

Any advice? I am not even sure if I should bother fighting her into her crib at this point until I am ready to do CC. So I might have to do it all at once. And then at that point, should I just put her in her room or work on it with her in our room first? Anyone try this with a 4 month old or am I better off waiting (if I can, I need to be able to function as well as I will be a full time working mom very shortly).

I tried PUPD...it makes her angrier and does not work. Staying with her and comforting does not work now either as eventually she stops crying, smiles, and wants to play.

Any advice/help in setting up an action plan is appreciated! Sorry for the long post.

 

[DaisyBee]

After reading a post yesterday about babies needing night feeds for different emotional, nutritional, etc needs when Jordan woke last night and had trouble settling I fed her. I was feeling guilty and second guessing our taking the bottle away gradually again at night. She had slept through for about 6 weeks without a bottle but it's been hit or miss since she was sick. Well last night she had 2. I gave her 4 oz at 1am and 6 oz at 5 am. I think it messed up her whole night. 5 am is pretty much when she woke as she tried to go back to sleep and would seem to sleep for 5 minutes but then be awake. ( I have a video monitor) that is much earlier than her usual.

So she then refused her first morning bottle and had barely any of her 2nd bottle. Now it's supposed to be her nap and she is overtired and taken 40 minutes to settle.

So I'm realiZing I was right to stop bottles at night for her. She doesn't need them. As skipping all am bottles is ridiculous just so that we can both be up in the night.

 

[DaisyBee]

Lysh - when dh tries to feed her are you in the same room? Have you tried her crib in her room vs yours? My girls sleep better in their own room. Jordan woke constantly in our room. And if she smells you that won't be helping I'm guessing. (with breastfeeding)

 

[lysh]

Lysh - when dh tries to feed her are you in the same room? Have you tried her crib in her room vs yours? My girls sleep better in their own room. Jordan woke constantly in our room. And if she smells you that won't be helping I'm guessing. (with breastfeeding)

Yes, we currently bedshare. I tried putting her in her own crib (in my room too) and we were making progress with naps (regressing now) and had a terrible time with it at night. I might have to try in her own room...my fear is that she will do what she did when I tried getting her into her own crib in my room and that is wake up 10-11 times. How did you transition your LO into the room? Did you do CC then? I know my DD will scream bloody murder.

 

[Noelle610]

After reading a post yesterday about babies needing night feeds for different emotional, nutritional, etc needs when Jordan woke last night and had trouble settling I fed her. I was feeling guilty and second guessing our taking the bottle away gradually again at night. She had slept through for about 6 weeks without a bottle but it's been hit or miss since she was sick. Well last night she had 2. I gave her 4 oz at 1am and 6 oz at 5 am. I think it messed up her whole night. 5 am is pretty much when she woke as she tried to go back to sleep and would seem to sleep for 5 minutes but then be awake. ( I have a video monitor) that is much earlier than her usual.

So she then refused her first morning bottle and had barely any of her 2nd bottle. Now it's supposed to be her nap and she is overtired and taken 40 minutes to settle.

So I'm realiZing I was right to stop bottles at night for her. She doesn't need them. As skipping all am bottles is ridiculous just so that we can both be up in the night.

I think this just goes to show that YOU know your child best. I'm sorry you felt guilty and second-guessed yourself. I do that all of the time! At the end of the day, I think we need to trust our instincts, especially when it comes to sleep trainig. All babies are different. You're a great mom and love your daughter. You know best!

 

[DaisyBee]

I think that if dh tries to feed in a different room than you are in it might work better. So either the 2 of them leave or you leave. Lol

I didn't do cc with either when I moved them to their own rooms. I rocked and fed Megan to sleep at that point. She slept so much better in her own room - it was shocking how much better. Not that that will be that good for you, who knows. But worth a try? We realized Megan would wake at every time dh or I would even move in bed. ( she was in her basinett.) Jordan was pretty much the same - I was still rocking her to sleep at that point. It really helped some of the night wakings. And then our issue was settling to sleep for bed and naps. I did cc with Jordan a few weeks after moving her to her room. But she wouldnt eat or sleep without tons of soothing. Bedtime was taking 2 hrs minimum and she screamed the whole time. She was waking a lot before moving her to her room. About 4 times a night after moving her. After cc she was waking once for a bottle.

Megan went from waking constantly all night to waking 2 times at night for bottles when we moved her... And she was young. 10 weeks I think.

 

[overcomer79]

My daughter will be four months old this month. I had zero choice but the let her CIO. Like some PPs, she is over stimulated. She would get in the cycle of screaming (while we were holding her) then she would nod off for a few minutes then wake up and want to play then rub her eyes and scream for a while. Now we just put her down and she "complains". I don't let her cry more than ten minutes but usually in under 3 minutes she is out. I didn't get dr approval and I don't feel bad for it. I think her crying for 3 minutes is a lot better for her than her screaming for 30 minutes because she is so tired.

 

[ArmyWife1984]

Hi Lysh!!!!! I was exactly in the same spot as you from what I read in your story!!!

I Coslept with LO and BF'd for the first 4months. It was exhausting because LO needed me for naps and bedtime or else he wouldn't sleep. So a bad habit began. And he refused bottles too. So my DH couldn't help with hardly anything. it was sooo draining physically and emotionally! But I wasn't sure if I was ready to stop cosleeping because I loved having him right next to me.
Then he started rolling and crawling and one day he rolled off the bed and I knew that for his safety, I had to get him into the crib.
This is what worked for me:

At 4months: I started trying different bottles to find one most like nursing. I came across Playtex dropin bottles- with Orthodontic latex nipples. He immediately took to these! I was shocked because he would refuse every kind of bottle but I think the nipples on these bottle reminded him of nursing.
Once I got that established, I made the transition to the crib first and would give him a bottle in the crib and prop the bottle up with a receiving blanket so it was as if he was nursing on me to sleep. This worked great! He started sleeping in the crib while "nursing" to sleep with the bottle.
When I started the bottles in the crib, he would wake up every 2-3hrs(3-4 times a night) for another "feed" and I continued to give him another bottle until 6months, when I knew he no longer needed night feeds.
Then at 6months, I stopped the night feeds and did CC. First night was tough. It lasted 1hr and 45min. I ended up doing CIO the last 45min because everytime I went in, he would get more hysterical.
2nd night took 40min, 3rd night 10min.
Then once I started this he continued waking up every 3-4hrs. So once this happened I waited 10min to see if he would fall back asleep. If not I would start CC again. It never lasted more than 30min.
I stuck to my guns and now he sleeps so good!! he goes down at 7pm, and sometimes wakes around midnight but he usually just fusses quietly and he is back to sleep until 5am!! its amazing!!! CC was a sleepsaver!
One thing I used as well is pacifiers when I started CC. He usually refused it and spit it out but by the 3rd night, when he knew i meant business, he started taking it and now he likes having it to help him settle to sleep. And some nights he doesnt even need it!
Naps are a breeze now too. I just put him in the crib with a paci and he is usually is to sleep within 10min.

So that is what worked for me. There were some tweaking I had to do here and there because I wanted to make the transition slow and less painful for him so he knew mommy was still there for him. Hope this helps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Natsku]

Hey, I know that Maria is a lot older than your babies but I started CC tonight to get her off bottles. I didn't intend to start and first just tried to settle her with me there but she just wanted to play so I left for 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins and now I'm on the second lot of 15 mins and she's gone quiet but is still awake (can hear some small noises through the door). I'm unsure whether to continue in the same way if (most likely when) she wakes in the night as I won't get a break tomorrow during the day but tomorrow night my BF will be here to help in the night. So do you ladies reckon I should just give her a bottle if she wakes tonight and tomorrow night go the whole hog or try and keep it up tonight?