Champagne and crumpets, my November wedding blog *We did it! Photos included*

[emyandpotato]

So the bridesmaid saga continues!

Hannah wants this dress https://m.houseoffraser.co.uk/Untol...357075,default,pd.html?isVariantRedirect=true which is nice enough but I don't really feel like it fits the theme and plus it would quite literally be all about her boobs. And it's my wedding I kind of want to look the best and have the most attention. I said we could consider it with a vintage shawl to give it the 1930s look I was going for, but she's ignoring me.

I then sent her all of these dresses, trying to compromise with her:https://www.etsy.com/listing/112490626/vintage-1930s-dress-black-rayon-deep?ref=shop_home_active
https://www.wishwantwear.com/dress-hire/just-cavalli/1015-polandra-gown.html
https://www.wishwantwear.com/dress-hire/badgley-mischka/971-bordeaux-gown.html
https://www.wishwantwear.com/dress-hire/temperley-london/1045-viva-show-gown.html

AND found someone who makes dresses and suggested we try her samples on and then talk about designing one we both like. She's read all my messages cos FB says so, but she's been ignoring me for 24 hours I am so close to telling her to just forget it.

 

[emyandpotato]

Oh and I made a Pinterest board of the styles of BM dresses I love to give you an idea https://pinterest.com/peagreenbateau/demoiselles-dhonneur/

 

[Mummy May]

If she can't be grown up enough to compromise then I think you should be telling her to stuff it, she's being a brat and you don't want her boobs hanging out at your wedding! And you should be getting all the attention, sounds like she won't want that at all. Did you ask your Mum to speak to her? Xx

 

[xemmax]

She sounds really immature, it would really annoy me if my bridesmaid was acting like that! I love the red dress you just posted, I can't see what she could possibly not like about it. Do you think it might be more about the fact you're picking it? From outside it looks like she is just rebelling because she wants to choose her own!

 

[emyandpotato]

I really have no idea. I know I adore the red one too, it's my favourite! It would suit her too and it's modern enough for her taste. I don't know what her problem is. She seems constantly in a mood at the moment, not just about this but with everything. On my birthday we went out for a meal and she wouldn't talk to anyone for a whole day cos she didn't like the choice of restaurant... Partly why I don't want to be too harsh is that she seems quite down but then again she is being so bratty it's unreal. I haven't spoken to my mum yet but I'm gonna when I go back to stay with them on Tuesday, hopefully everything can be sorted out then!

 

[Tasha]

She sounds difficult at best. I wonder if it is because you are chosing quite high neck lines. I know you dont want her boobs out because well who would but is there a compromise? I have massive boobs and I couldnt wear any of them because high necklines look awful on me, they end up making my boobs look like one massive block. Just thought I would give a different view, I hope you dont mind.

 

[emyandpotato]

She hasn't got like G cup boobs. She has my figure basically which is average sized 10ish with DD boobs. She wears high neck dresses all the time and looks nice. I have actually showed her a few v-neck ones (just not quite as Jessica Rabbit as the ones she's chosen) but she didn't like them either. I even suggested a complete compromise and that we go and try some styles and then design one together that we both like and that fits theme, but nope

 

[aly888]

Oh wow, she sounds impossible!! A bridesmaid is meant to be exactly that, a 'maid' to the 'bride'. She is meant to be helping you and making it all easier for you. Not giving you extra stress and hassle.

I absolutely love that third dress you posted (the bordeaux). It's amazing!! How can she not like that?? I do like her choice of dress too but it's not really suitable for a wedding. Any wedding. Let alone a weddin of your theme!!

I hope you get it sorted. You shouldn't have to feel obliged to have her as a bridesmaid just because she is your sister. Tell her to sort it out or get out in the nicest possible way, of course!

 

[emyandpotato]

I'm not having all my sisters as bridesmaids. I have four sisters and three nieces and it would be crazy to have them all. I wasn't even gonna have any but then my dad wanted an element of the traditional to it so I thought what the hell, it'll be fun choosing their outfits and they can help me out I feel a right idiot now I can't unask her and still let Sophie do it or she'll be heartbroken, but I am gonna have serious words with her next time I see her. Half the problem is that she's impossible to get in to contact with!

 

[emyandpotato]

Sigh...

 

[Tasha]

Aaah fair enough, I am a J cup and those dresses would just never work on me. But she sounds like a pain in the butt (sorry for saying that about your sister), it really does seem to be her way or no way. I dont have any suggestions because it seems you have tried to compromise and she just isnt willing.

 

[emyandpotato]

Tasha I also showed her this one: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?...3418325.-2207520000.1364740677&type=3&theater and said we could have it longer and perhaps different colour material etc etc. That dress maker is local to us and I emailed her and said can we come in and try some samples and then design our own and she said of course, but still not good enough!!!! I feel a bit bad but to be honest I'm just really upset and feel like I'm the one in the wrong. Driving me insane.

 

[Tasha]

See that would of been perfect, a v neckline but without nearly as much boob on show and fits with your theme. You really have done all you can, especially as you said design one together. Dont blame yourself, she is the one being difficult in this, you have compromise a lot and tried to give different ideas but she isnt interested. I think the only things you can do are talk to your Mum and also have an honest chat with her.

 

[emyandpotato]

I told my mum and she says it's because she feels bad about her figure and I haven't chosen ones that suit her shape. Okay I get that but 1) she could have said that to me instead of being rude and ignoring me and 2) she didn't have to be nasty to me! Anyway my mum says she is still BM and I just have to compromise.

 

[Tasha]

But you have compromised. Surely going to a dress makers where she can try on samples (and might be surprised at what actually suits her) and coming up with something that suits your theme, suits her and you both like is the best compromise.

 

[emyandpotato]

I hope so! If not I give up.

 

[Lauren25]

Wow she seems like major hard work!
I think I'd give her the option of she's your bridesmaid and she works with you or she isn't your bridesmaids! That way your not telling her you don't want her but making it clear if she's going to be bridesmaid she has to work with you!

Hope you get things sorted though

 

[aly888]

Crikey Tasha, a J cup :shocked:

Honestly Emy, this is not your fault. If she doesn't feel confident wearing the dresses you've suggested or that he doesn't think they'll suit her figure then she needs to say that. When I was choosing dresses with my bridesmaids I showed them a load. My bridesmaid said she'd wear whatever I wanted her to but my MOH spoke up and said that she would hate to be in a dress that had her back/shoulders bare. So they've both got dresses that they each like. Your sister just seems to be ignoring you and seemingly moaning about it behind your back to your mum How can she "give up" on your theme??! Your theme is your theme. It's not going to change just because 'she' doesn't get it.
I really hope she wakes up and makes this about you. Fingers crossed a trip to the dressmaker is successful. She can tell the woman what she likes/doesn't like and the dressmaker can show her how different cuts/necklines will look on her. Like Tasha said, she might even change her mind about what he thinks suits her

 

[Tasha]

Crikey Tasha, a J cup :shocked:

Honestly Emy, this is not your fault. If she doesn't feel confident wearing the dresses you've suggested or that he doesn't think they'll suit her figure then she needs to say that. When I was choosing dresses with my bridesmaids I showed them a load. My bridesmaid said she'd wear whatever I wanted her to but my MOH spoke up and said that she would hate to be in a dress that had her back/shoulders bare. So they've both got dresses that they each like. Your sister just seems to be ignoring you and seemingly moaning about it behind your back to your mum How can she "give up" on your theme??! Your theme is your theme. It's not going to change just because 'she' doesn't get it.
I really hope she wakes up and makes this about you. Fingers crossed a trip to the dressmaker is successful. She can tell the woman what she likes/doesn't like and the dressmaker can show her how different cuts/necklines will look on her. Like Tasha said, she might even change her mind about what he thinks suits her

All of my brillant chat and advice from that you just took my cup size

It is a bit like wedding dress shopping isnt it? She might think one thing and actually be amazed to find something that she never would of thought she liked but it be perfect on her (and for the theme).

 

[emyandpotato]

I have been crying over this whole BM thing today it's upset me so much. She's just been such a little bitch. I really do feel for her about being body conscious and not wanting to look bad as I have very low self esteem but she could be courteous at least, is that too much to ask?! Pretty upset that my mum is taking her side too. Gonna tell her to start being reasonable and forget it, but not til I see her in person as I figure that'll be easier. Hopefully then my mum can persuade her to come to the dress maker with me.

On the plus side, OH graduates very soon and I went on an applying spree for him, writing cover letters for over 200 jobs, and he's had quite a few responses despite the Easter weekend which is fantastic news. They're jobs he would love too (in Graphic Design, his specialism) and if he got one it would take such a weight off of our shoulders. If he gets a job it also means we can TTC as soon as the wedding is over and I don't have to be thin which is amazing as I'm so broody!