Children out of wedlock?

[PeanutBean]

Wow PP well done! Ours was about £6000 altogether but that included honeymoon and we went to Japan for two weeks so that wasn't cheap. It's the only holiday we've had abroad in 9 years together so se felt se wanted to take advantage and do something really special. We didn't want a big do, our problem came from having loads of immediate family. We did a meal for 50 and that only included 3 pairs of closest friends, the rest being siblings and their offspring! We also had a more expensive photographer as a photographic record was really very important to me. But my dress was £125 and made by my mum and we went to the venue in my sil's people carrier! Lol. We compromised by paying for the things we really wanted and had a day that was perfect for us. We wanted a special day and celebration but certainly wouldn't have paid more. I have no idea what someone would spend £20k on at a wedding!

 

[marley2580]

I don't believe in marriage, and will never be married. I am my own person, and I just don't see the point. Just my beliefs. I don't care if other people get married, I am just not into it. The whole wedding thing in itself bothers me for some reason. I don't sit here and think bad thoughts about people who have weddings I just don't plan on having one.

I have been with my OH almost 8 years now, and for us, it would make no difference. We are both committed to each other, so meh.

My thoughts exactly

 

[aliss]

We're going to have a nice little backyard wedding when we buy a house in the spring but I think it's just OH's excuse to gather his buddies and buy kegs!!!!! Oh well, LOL

 

[Dragonfly]

the premiere inn now do weddings for £199 and you get
- Wedding outfits for the couple (suit/dress)
- Confetti for guests
- A buffet reception for up to 20 guests
- Wedding cake
- Best man’s speech template
- A Premier Inn Honeymoon – two night’s stay for the couple including dinner, bed and breakfast, rose petals for the bed, sparkling wine, strawberries and chocolates, spa hamper and nightwear

wonder what the dress is like.

 

[PeanutBean]

Lol that doesn't include the registrar fee and licence!

 

[polo_princess]

That doesnt sound too bad though, Asda now do wedding dresses for £60 and bridesmaid for £30, theyre really nice.

So even if you supplied your own dress, got a cheap cake from M&S or somewhere and paid the registrar fee's you could do it for about £500!!

Wow!!

 

[sequeena]

OH and I are engaged, been living together for almost 2 years. I don't see the need to get married straight away, we're happy as we are

 

[Dragonfly]

Lol that doesn't include the registrar fee and licence!

yeah I know as it didnt mention, how much are they?
seen the only dress in asda wasnt a nice one though and it was £40. Good if you have very little to spend though I would want more for my dress.

 

[polo_princess]

Registar varies across the country, we paid £150, yet my friend in the next county is paying about £270

Maybe the Asda ones didnt sell very well so they took some off, they had 3 or 4 back in May.

Some people dont even bother with that much, they just run away and get married on their own, i think thats so sweet but not something i could ever do, i nearly did, but backed out

 

[PeanutBean]

We got married in Scotland which is cheaper than the UK. I really can't properly remember as it was yonks ago but I think something like £125. It's not as nice a certificate in Scotland though. Lol

 

[pinklizzy]

OH and I have been together 4 years, lived together for 3. Although we're happy as we are, I wouldn't rule out getting married one day-I just don't want to have a 'wedding day', it would be my worst nightmare to have all the attention on us for a day.We'd have to elope or something!

 

[rainbows_x]

OH & I are planning on not getting married (thought I wouldn't say no if he asked!).

I see having children together is more of a commitment than marriage IMO. x

 

[trumpetbum]

I think the importance of marriage depends on the couple involved. I don't see the point if it's just seen as 'a piece of paper' or an excuse for a party. So many people can't see further than the actual wedding day to the hard work that a long term committed relationship can be.
Marriage is important to me. It's a spiritual, social/public and legal commitment to each other which we were happy to celebrate with those important to us, but to be honest the legal part is probably the least important factor for me. I don't think marriage necessarily makes a relationship as these days there are many people in long term relationships who are fully committed to each other and also many married couples who don't make the distance. I think it's the strength of commitment and love in a relationship that makes a relationship and therefore a family unit solid, whether that is in or out of wedlock.
I didn't change my name and I remember my sils mum saying 'well what was the point of getting married then?' I was bemused.
I don't see children as a massive commitment to my husband unlike agreeing to be his wife, if the relationship was unworkable then I wouldn't just stay for the children as I feel that can be harmful to a child. I see having children as a commitment to be that childs parent and helper for life.

 

[JASMAK]

For me, marriage is a celebration of love and the committment and showing the world that committment...a ceremony to make it "official". I was common-law for two years before we got married, and nothing was different afterwards, but it was fun, and exciting and romantic to get married. I love having my husband's name, and I do feel that it makes things more official. Moving in and living together, to me, didn't feel like marriage, even though, technically, it was.

 

[marley2580]

I don't see children as a massive commitment to my husband unlike agreeing to be his wife, if the relationship was unworkable then I wouldn't just stay for the children as I feel that can be harmful to a child. I see having children as a commitment to be that childs parent and helper for life.

See I think that because I have children with my OH our lives are bound to each other forever. We could split up but we would still have to talk to each other and see each other for the sake of the children.

 

[dani_tinks]

I'm not bothered either way! Me and OH aren't married or even engaged at the moment yet we live together and have Jacob, a cat, two cars... you get the idea. We live as though we're married but we don't have it in writing or a ring on my finger.
We're still commited to each other and love each other very much.
We do want to celebrate our love for each other so will get married one day, but we'll do it for us.. not because everyone's nagging at us.

 

[trumpetbum]

I don't see children as a massive commitment to my husband unlike agreeing to be his wife, if the relationship was unworkable then I wouldn't just stay for the children as I feel that can be harmful to a child. I see having children as a commitment to be that childs parent and helper for life.

See I think that because I have children with my OH our lives are bound to each other forever. We could split up but we would still have to talk to each other and see each other for the sake of the children.

Agreed, we would always be co-parents but that's a commitment to our children rather than each other, imo.

 

[katystwogirls]

When we decided we would be having children one day, I wanted to get married. I wouldn't have like us having different names and (a bit old-fashioned maybe) I wanted to be a "mrs" as part of my family.

I completely understand why people aren't too bothered however, and don't think it makes a relationship/family unit any more or less stronger.

Oh - I also wanted a wedding day. Loved it! Best day of my life! Yes, EVEN better than when my daughters were born because a) it didn't hurt and b) I got to look beautiful as opposed to sweaty and knackered ;o)

 

[SKATERBUN]

As we were planning to get married anyway, been together 3 years, and then i got pregnant out of the blue, decided to do it when i was 30 weeks gone.
It felt such a special time knowing I was carrying LO. Also agree with Noodles, I wanted hubbys surname before LO.
Dont see anything wrong with not doing it before LO is born though.

 

[JellyBeann]

I'm quite old fashioned,and before I got with my husband (2.5years ago) I always thought I'd be in a relationship for a few years, then engaged for a few more, married for a few then start activley (sp?) trying for kids...

haha...4 months after we got together he proposed, then 7 months later we're married and 8 months later I gave birth to our Son! so things didn't work out lol!

But I always knew I'd be married by the time I had kids, I'm just old fashioned that way, if we'd have found out I was pg before we got married, I think I would have proposed to him, as I wanted to be married to have kids!


My cousin is 19 and pg with her 2nd and not married, if people choose to live that way, I have nothing against it, I just think you should be married!