Children + Swearing-> Your Views

[DonnaBallona]

I have to admit, I very very very rarely swear. I dont know why, I just never have. I wasnt bought up to hear it and so it never crossed my mind to use the words. I DID go through a real rebellious stage between the ages of 16 and 18 when I did what I liked, went where I liked, and said what I liked. Im still ashamed of my behaviour now to this day and am embarrassed to admit I did so many of those things.

Being a nanny, I obviously wouldnt ever ever ever swear in front of my charges and I would be mortified if I did. I once heard my 2-year-old charge call her stepdad a smelly pikey then laugh (im so sorry if I offended anyone with that word, it IS awful) and MAN did I tell her off. She's never said it again-at least not in front of me.

I never needed to use those words when I was younger, although my 11-year-old sister definatly does. . . although she wouldnt dare in front of our parents!!! Its so much different now-or maybe I was just naiive wehen I was young??

As for my own children, Ill cross that bridge when we come to it I think!! Iv no idea what Ill do that. . .where is the instruction manual??!!

 

[CamoQueen]

But don't you feel that's a bit hypocritical to pretend you don't do something when you do? I also don't feel that swearing is the same thing as bad behaviour, the two things can easily exist without the other.


If you're a person who never swears and thinks it's always wrong or inappropriate to then I can completely see why you wouldn't want your kids to swear at all. But if you do swear and still don't think your kids should swear, I just think that's very hypocritical. I will discourage my kids from swearing when they are little and always try not to swear too much anyway because these things have a much more impressive impact when done rarely. For example, I could probably safely say my Mum has said F about three times ever (not to us I would add) and when she does you know that's a seriously big deal! I want my kids to have a wonderful vocabulary but mine is good and I still swear when I'm really annoyed or have stubbed my toe or whatever. It would be ridiculous to ask my kids to practice something I don't.

Ehh, I don't think it's hypocritical. The way I see it is when you're a child, there's a lot of stuff you have to do and lot of priveleges you don't have because of your age. Not to mention that allowing your child to curse publicly is offensive to a whole bunch of people (myself included), and should not be tolerated for that reason, if not any other.

I guess I take this stance because I curse, probably more than I should, but will absolutely in no way tolerate my child cursing. I'm going to do my very best to monitor my language in front of him. See, my parents were very strict with our language as children... we would get punished for saying "shut up" or "oh my God" or things like that. But I did hear my parents cursing on occasion, though they always tried to monitor it and would apologize for saying the 'bad word' around us. Did I feel like it was unfair that they could curse but I couldn't? Yeah, of course. But that's part of being a kid -- your parents get to decide what you can and cannot do on your behalf. My parents drank coffee every day, decaf even, and I wasn't allowed a sip! Drove me crazy! I can't tell you how many times I heard, "Because I'm your mom, that's why!"

 

[polo_princess]

When my child is an adult she can make her mind up whether she wants to swear or not, until then i wont have her swearing in my house.

Same way i was brought up ... when your an adult you can make your own mind up, until then you go by your mothers rules

 

[jadesmama]

My daughter who will be 2 next month has picked up a couple swear words, I just ignore her and she doesnt say it, but I feel so bad for saying them around her....I try my best to not swear around her but sometimes it slips....

 

[enigma]

I once heard my 2-year-old charge call her stepdad a smelly pikey then laugh (im so sorry if I offended anyone with that word, it IS awful) and MAN did I tell her off. She's never said it again-at least not in front of me.

Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

 

[cherylanne]

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

I agree!!!

 

[passengerrach]

i think young children swearin is horrible but sometimes they pick these things up and theres not a lot u can do about it really and when they r teenagers they r pretty much gna talk how they want so when my kid is a teenager i will let her/him swear as i doubt there will be much i can do about it any way

 

[danni2609]

I swear and so does my hubby mainly when im driving! My two yr old doesnt say anything and if she did i would ignore her until shes old enough to understand its naughty!I must try not too but some people seriously cant drive!

 

[moomin_troll]

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

But don't you feel that's a bit hypocritical to pretend you don't do something when you do? I also don't feel that swearing is the same thing as bad behaviour, the two things can easily exist without the other.

no i dont think its hypocritical because i wasnt telling people not to swear because thats the meaning of the word hypocritical.

i didnt want to get told off so whats wrong with not swearing at my mum and nan because of that? i knew i was in the wrong and thats how kids think!

 

[Sarah88]

Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

What do these words mean? I've never heard of them before.

 

[moomin_troll]

Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

What do these words mean? I've never heard of them before.

Paky is either a name for people from pakistan or used in a nasty way and pikey is a word for a chav or common type of person

 

[PeanutBean]

Im like that, i do hear my kids swear and in my opinion i have that under control as they know not to swear in public and never ever to swear in front of their elders, But if i ever heard them come out with an offensive word like (please do pardon this) pikey or packy then they will get a slap on the spot, because it is disrespectful, they will be taught that everyone takes different paths in life and comes from different places, but that does not make them any less of a human than they are.

What do these words mean? I've never heard of them before.

Like Moomin said packy is a derrogatory term for people from Pakistan but is also used a general insult for anyone from Asia. We have a lot of immigrants from Asia so people like to be nasty and mean to them. Pikey is usually used for gypsies or travellers as I believe the PC word for them is at the moment. Again, it's fairly offensive.

 

[Beltane]

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?

 

[PeanutBean]

no i dont think its hypocritical because i wasnt telling people not to swear because thats the meaning of the word hypocritical.

i didnt want to get told off so whats wrong with not swearing at my mum and nan because of that? i knew i was in the wrong and thats how kids think!

Hypocritical is not just about telling someone something (or not to do something), it means doing one thing whilst pretending to do another or pretending to have some sort of virtue, say, but not actually possessing it (and knowing you don't posses it). My feeling is that if I thought something was wrong then I wouldn't do it, otherwise why pretend?

 

[moomin_troll]

no i dont think its hypocritical because i wasnt telling people not to swear because thats the meaning of the word hypocritical.

i didnt want to get told off so whats wrong with not swearing at my mum and nan because of that? i knew i was in the wrong and thats how kids think!

Hypocritical is not just about telling someone something (or not to do something), it means doing one thing whilst pretending to do another or pretending to have some sort of virtue, say, but not actually possessing it (and knowing you don't posses it). My feeling is that if I thought something was wrong then I wouldn't do it, otherwise why pretend?

Its what children do! I wasnt going to go up to my mum at the age of nine and say yeah its wrong but f*ck u i swear! I didnt swear around her i never told her i didnt swear i just knew it was bad! Are u telling me a toddler wont draw on the walls and then say i didnt do it!

 

[moomin_troll]

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?

Its nothing to do with differences in culture at all if he knows its
"wrong" to say these things to people then why write it and hes nine nothing in a nine year olds life is so stressful he needs to say im pissed off or write f*ck all over paper.

 

[Beltane]

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?

Its nothing to do with differences in culture at all if he knows its
"wrong" to say these things to people then why write it and hes nine nothing in a nine year olds life is so stressful he needs to say im pissed off or write f*ck all over paper.

Actually, his biological father was neglectful so he has every right to feel stressed out and angry at 9 years old. Hence why I have custody. The "f bomb" is not what I'm speaking of. I'm talking about some less offensive words.

 

[moomin_troll]

my dad was a violent alcoholic and then my step dad also turned out to be a alcoholic so i didnt have the best childhood but im not using that as a reason for my bad language

 

[Beltane]

Perhaps you dealt with your issues in a different way- this is how he releases his. He's 9 and he's male- totally different thought processes. I grew up with sisters and we always spoke our minds and had drama in the house. Many boys on the other hand digest information and react completely different. My step son holds it all in and let's it brew. He won't verbalize how he feels to anyone-- even over a simple cookie that he wasnt allowed to have before dinner and is angry about. I'm blessed my 9 yr old isn't holding his feelings inside. You are surely entitled to your feelings.
Is this your first?

 

[moomin_troll]

yeah this is my first! its good that he doesnt hold his feelings in because alot of males do but i was just pointing out that there are many ways to do this without swearing or writing down swear words at his age.

i swore like a trooper from a very young age so not judging anyone but it isnt needed