Children + Swearing-> Your Views

[brownhairedmom]

I really dont get how letting him swear in his art work will be doing him any good or am i just missing the point completely!
i wouldnt let a child write down swear words then call it art!

And just because u let him write it down doesnt mean he isnt saying those words when ur not around!

and yeah i swore as a child but not around my mum or nan and i was always well behaved

It's his art! Who am I to tell him he can't draw this or that?! That's absurd! It's his creation and as long as he's not abusing that power, it's a way for him to get his feelings out without offending others. As an artist myself, it's a wonderful outlet to express your pent up emotions. He keeps them in his bedroom with his things- they are not displayed on the kitchen fridge! He often verbalizes to me that the children he goes to school with say horrid things on the playground but that he knows it's offensive to other peoples ears. Did you have a diary as a young girl? I did! And it was a safe place for me to get my emotions out without offending someone else. Perhaps it's a difference in culture ?

I don't think its a difference in culture. We have to remember that people in the artist "sub-culture" are way more able to express their emotions and everything by nature. Some people are just born that way, lucky things!! People who are writers, painters, musicians, etc etc etc, are more open to expression, no matter what it is! Also, I'm sure you aren't letting your little boy use racial slurs or horrible curse words.


And yes, there are things in a 9 year olds life that can make them "pissed off".

 

[hypnorm]

I swear at home, usuallyu when i have dropped something or hurt my self but i am slowly learning to change my language.
I NEVER swore infront of my parents or elders as i knew i would be in trouble and i respected them.
I think alot of it these days is down to a lack of respect or self respect.
Ewan has picked up a couple of swear words from my parents but i am ignoring it he is getting no reaction from me at all and funnily enough it has stopped.
He will now say 'Oopsie' or 'ohhh' or 'owwww' if he hurts him self to drops things.
If he swears out side the house then there is not alot i can do but if i ever hear that he has been swearing then he will be in trouble.
Once he is an adult then he can make his own decisions but until then he is under our care and our rules.

 

[Chellebelle]

My child will not swear under my roof. I was brought up that way as was my OH and we will bring our son up in the same way. I don't even swear myself that much, and I have never sworn in front of a child.

 

[PeanutBean]

nothing in a nine year olds life is so stressful he needs to say im pissed off or write f*ck all over paper.

I'm amazed by this statement!

Its what children do! I wasnt going to go up to my mum at the age of nine and say yeah its wrong but f*ck u i swear! I didnt swear around her i never told her i didnt swear i just knew it was bad! Are u telling me a toddler wont draw on the walls and then say i didnt do it!

I know it's what children do, I didn't say anything about whether or not it happens, just that it's hypocritical. I would rather not force my child to pretend to be something, or someone, else in front of me, it will only risk alienating them in the end.

Ewan has picked up a couple of swear words from my parents but i am ignoring it he is getting no reaction from me at all and funnily enough it has stopped.

That's pretty much my feeling on it. When they're little it's just to get a rise and a bit of attention. Best not to make a big deal out it I think.

 

[moomin_troll]

not doing something infront of ur parents isnt pretending do be someone or something ur not! all children/teenagers dont tell there parents everything and if u think they do well then thats just daft!

and me not swearing infront of my mum didnt alienat me at all theres things kids will do around there friends and things they wont do around there parents

 

[PeanutBean]

not doing something infront of ur parents isnt pretending do be someone or something ur not! all children/teenagers dont tell there parents everything and if u think they do well then thats just daft!

and me not swearing infront of my mum didnt alienat me at all theres things kids will do around there friends and things they wont do around there parents

I didn't say it did alienate you, but there's a risk if we expect our children to be something they're not that that will happen.

Again, I know kids do things they don't tell their parents, I was a child once too. I'm not so bothered about swearing so I'd rather they didn't feel the need to pretend.

 

[hypnorm]

not doing something infront of ur parents isnt pretending do be someone or something ur not! all children/teenagers dont tell there parents everything and if u think they do well then thats just daft!

and me not swearing infront of my mum didnt alienat me at all theres things kids will do around there friends and things they wont do around there parents

True, when i started work my language became foul as the other girls were doing it too and i just picked it up, but i never did it once i got home, didnt change who i was it was just a different environment.

Personally if i had started swearing openly infront of my parents that would have alienated my self from my parents, as it would have shown them a complete lack of respect. They knew i did swear but that was up to me as long as they never hear me do it.

As for 9 yr olds using 'pissed off' theres no need for it at all.

 

[leeanne]

Swearing is about age appropriateness and telling our child not to do it is not hypocritical but is age appropriate.

And swearing is only one thing on the list. These are just examples:

What about when a little girl wants her ears pierced, or even their belly button, because mommy does, and you tell them not until they are older?

What about kissing the opposite sex yet they are too young?

What about dating at a very young age?

What about a young teen wanting to have sex?

What about a young teen (minor) wanting to drink alcohol?

What about a young child wanting to stay out until later hours?

I could go on and on.

It's not hypocritical to do something yourself yet tell your kids not to do these things. It's all about being of age to do these things.

 

[Carley]

I personally won't accept it, I don't swear nor does my OH.

I see no reason for it.

 

[Carley]

You know, when your kids are teenagers and in school, there is absolutely nothing you can do but just say that you won't tolerate it at home.

But when I go around and hear little cousins spitting curse words out like they're just regular words...its a bit much. My cousin for example, he says "oh fuck!" a lot, but he also says "you bitch" and "holy shit" and "you piece of crap". So you know, it sounds horrible and I won't be putting up with it. His parents just laugh at it but I'm completely appalled every time I see him.

I agree when they are teenagers and out, there's nothing you can do. But like you I will not tolerate it at home. Really what is the need for it?

I hear kids my daughters age swearing, and I think where are they learning this from? My daughter is nearly 3. Then I hear the parents speak. I agree it's not always the parents but when kids at 2, and 3 are swearing, it makes you wonder...

 

[mBLACK]

I swear sometimes, words like shit, piss, etc. never the F word. I don't swear around my little one, once he gets old enough though I wouldn't mind it if he used the odd MINOR swear word, just NEVER in public as it is disrespectful towards others and in my opinion is just downright rude. My mother, grandmother, we all swear occasionally around eachother (they don't mind) but if they were bothered by it I would stop.

 

[Neecee]

I hear kids my daughters age swearing, and I think where are they learning this from? My daughter is nearly 3. Then I hear the parents speak. I agree it's not always the parents but when kids at 2, and 3 are swearing, it makes you wonder...

That's true. When I hear really young children (i.e. children too young to be at school surrounded by other kids) swearing, I do assume that they're hearing that kind of language in their homes. When babies/young children are learning to talk, they learn by repitition (sp?) so I guess they're just repeating what they've heard in they're own environments.

 

[Sarah88]

Indeed, I find it disgusting hearing young children swearing. They are like sponges so anything they hear at home and out and about will probably be repeated.

 

[xXDonnaXx]

I don't swear, and when I do it's very rare. My OH doesn't swear much either, unless were havin a little arguement, lol. But I definately don't want my child to swear. I've been brought up not to swear, so therefore my child is. I've never swore in front of my parents, i'm to scared lol. But no, I don't want my child swearing. Even as a teenager, i don't think i'd like to hear it. Lol.