Chinese Accupuncture

[Jazzbird]

Briss - you need more time to recover. It is far too soon to be back to normal. Most of my nct group didn't feel normal til close to a year. I had a second degree tear but things down below did not start to feel normal til a year after birth. We finally dtd 2 months ago first time after birth. I know shocking! But between my fissure issues and my OH health issues we just couldn't do it. I'm glad I waited in some ways as some of my nct group tried very early on and freaked out as things felt very different. But waiting 20 months is very rare.

Just give yourself some time. My periods did not come back til 6 months. Obviously I know you want to be pregnant again but best for you to try and recover first. Eat really well, sleep as much as you can. Only gentle exercise. I know time is an issue but good to have a balance.

I really wouldn't recommend home birth mainly because it's dependent on one midwife. If you get a good one great. But mine just sat in the corner eating twix all night! She was very non-commital about whether I should go to hospital. I needed the encouragement to keep going and it wasn't there. Turns out she had her hand over her head which is why I couldn't push her out.

I think I would definitely go to hospital if I had another.

 

[Vonn]

Hi, ladies. How's everyone doing?

AFM--my nurse was out today but I messaged another nurse asking if the donor's genetic screening results were in yet and she sent me back a response: "Her results came back negative for everything." 'Negative' sounds bad so it took me a second to realize that was good news. We have a donor! I'll have to get the specifics from my nurse when she's back, but I think baseline will be last week of August & we'll head to NY mid-Sept. Sounds great!

 

[gingmg]

That's great news Vonn! So happy to hear this! That's right around the corner!

 

[melly2]

Oh, wow...I LOVE seeing these updates. Congratulations, Briss!!!! I'm so happy for you! I have often thought of you because I think we started the TTC around the same time. I'm thrilled to read that you had a successful IVF and had your baby girl and now about to try for a second. I also chose not to tell anyone about our IVF. No one knows except for my best friend and you all. I think it was particular sensitive because it was 100% correlated to my husband's low sperm count as a result of testicular cancer. We just didn't want to open up a can of worms with questions and what not. What I have realized is that A LOT more of my co-workers and friends have been through it than I ever imagine.

Even though we do have five healthy embryos stored away, we have chosen not to proceed with a second pregnancy. It mostly has to come down to convenience and our age. I'm kinda enjoying her independence now (she is 18 months old), and the new normal. I'm actually very happy with this decision, but it took us awhile to decide. She'll be our only child and I'm okay with that.

Ging, I'm still breastfeeding Gretchen, too, and when we did meet with our RE (back when we were trying to decide), they told me I would have to stop breastfeeding, too. That was a big turn off for me. I don't plan to stop breastfeeding her until she is at least two years old. I guess that's another reason we chose not to proceed.

Jazz, I'm happy to hear that you're trying to a second, even after your horrible recovery issues with birth.

Vonn, I know it's frustrating and many of us have been on here for years and years trying...desperately. It's great to have this support group of women in the same situation. We've all been there and we all have different stories but share the same desire to have a family. It does happen, it just takes time, patience, and in most of our cases, IVF. I was very reluctant to move down that path, but I'm happy we did.

I'm very happy to see this thread thriving again!

 

[Briss]

melly, thank you! so lovely to hear from you. My DD is 5 months and I am getting a little more sleep. we also want to start solids this weekend. so exciting! After my MC I had to make it public at work to explain why I announced my pregnancy so late and it turned out almost every woman in our department including the head had a MC in the past. nevertheless I do not regret not telling people while I was going through it. particularly work cos things went very ugly the end of my pregnancy. shockingly my firm won some prizes for being woman friendly. bizarre considering most pregnant women are forced out.

it is so amazing to me you still have five healthy embryos stored away! in all my TTc history which includes 7 cycles that went all the way to EC I only managed to create 4 embryos and only one was healthy. I also have a friend who was lucky on her first attempt, she had twins and decided that was enough so discarded her embryos. sounds a bit sad. are there any way to donate the extra embryos to a couple that wants it? is this something that you would consider or is it too weird?

well done for breastfeeding Gretchen for so long. I would also like to try and BF for as long as I can but i feel I do not have that much milk so i want to start supplementing with some veg.

Vonn, great news on the donor!! finally something positive. how does it work, are you going to have your cycles synchronised so her EC is tied to your ovulation? your thyroid issues are so complicating! i so hope the docs can help you sort it out. i can totally relate re stress, DH and I discussed divorce so many times over the TTC, I even made inquiries about donor sperm cos I wanted to be prepared. i lost any interest in my work, nothing had any meaning for me, i had some very dark moments and very soul destroying thoughts that I do not want to go into. if things get very bad just know it means the good things are coming your way i do find good things happen very quickly once you hit a very low point.

I do hope you will get that promotion!

Jazzbird, I am actually so relieved your ntc group is taking a year on average to recover. i wish they'd warn women on the real aspects of post vaginal birth recovery. I finally got a referral to see an nhs gyno in october which is 8 months after birth!! it is rather shocking they think mw can replace a gyno, clearly it is not working cos they may know how to deliver a baby but complications after birth is really beyond their expertise.

i am not sure when I feel really to BD, it's been over a year...

it's appalling re your home birth experience. i feel this is the most important thing for them to work out if you need to go to the hospital. pretty crucial. did she examine you? was it not possible to see earlier that your baby has her hand over her head?

afm, i carry on with my CBFM, just started a new cycle, so hoping it will be closer to my normal cycles. a scan showed that I have a good living 12 mm post ovulation but it did not confirm ovulation. the important thing they could see some follicles so it's hopeful. my bloods are appalling. I was hoping to start in September but at the moment it just does not look very likely.

my back is getting so much worse, this is mainly due to BF in awkward positions and bad posture and lifting my DD all day long (otherwise she screams). I started my pregnancy feeling healthy so am a bit scared of getting pregnant while feeling like this. still have 10 kg to lose but probably not going to happen while I am BF. I gave away most of my clothes and stored away what's left. no point holding on to it as I am a totally different size and can only fit in maternity clothes. it does annoy me but my priority is BF and getting pregnant asap

 

[Vonn]

Melly--I give you so much credit for being able to keep this ttc process to yourself. It is a little different when it's a result of a problem DH has. I have ended up being much more of a blabber mouth than I ever expected. Our immediate families know and I've told my 7 closest friends. I know DH has told several friends also. Yikes! That's a lot of people. I just couldn't not share. Since infertility emerged at the same time I was uncovering other health problems, it was really all-consuming. I didn't talk about infertility with anyone for awhile, but then it just started coming out.

Briss--how did the solid food introduction go with baby girl? Is your back bad enough that you think you'll need to get help (chiro, massage, physical therapy)?

AFM--I received word from my nurse that everything is a-go. It turns out the donor is not too busy in August, so we can start. I did my first Lupron injection last night! That's a crazy thing to have an exclamation point after, but we do get excited about the weirdest things in this process.

I go in on the 11th for ultrasound and labs. The donor will start stims shortly after that. Estimated retrieval date is August 26 and ETA for transfer is August 31. THIS MONTH. This could all be done in less than a month!

 

[gingmg]

Yay Von!!! So happy for you! I'll be rooting you on!!

 

[Briss]

Vonn, fantastic news!! so exciting! keeping everything crossed!

i did not talk to friends about TTC but once I was having lunch with a friend and she casually mentioned that her daughter was pregnant and something just clicked and I started crying and could not stop so basically had to tell her what's wrong. really regretted it afterwards but sometimes if you bottle it up it comes out in the most inconvenient moment.

I am actually seeing a physiotherapist for my back cos it's pretty bad. it started in the last couple of months of pregnancy and got much worse since. at times I can't even walk cos the pain gets me.

solids are going well, thank you! butternut squash and avocado went well, today we tried carrots. so now I m waiting a day or two before introducing new food.

something really terrible happened today, my DD fell on the floor from our bed I turned for a moment to get a dress and she just rolled over with her toy and fell. for a moment i did not think I will survive this, she cried a little but mostly seems fine. Examined her but couldn't find anything. there was a bit of redness on her cheek but it disappeared quickly. we decided not to go for X-ray at the moment. don't know if it's right decision.

 

[Jazzbird]

Briss - mine fell down the stairs. It is terrifying but honestly falls happen to all babies. I phoned 111 and spoke to a doctor. He said as long as she cried and was conscious all is ok. In fact he was wondering why I bothered to call. Unless she is really unhappy I would just keep an eye on her.

Really worrying though but babies are surprisingly robust. Apparently they bounce well!

 

[Briss]

Jazzbird, thank you! that makes me feel so much better every other day something happens that makes me feel i am unfit to be a mother

 

[Jazzbird]

Briss - bless you. You are an awesome mummy. You can't foresee every single danger. You wouldn't be able to go to the toilet. Motherhood brings its own special guilt train and it never stops. I was only just reading today an article from a psychologist complaining that children are never left to get bored. They are entertained every moment of the day. I swear it's a new wave of guilt ridden parenting where we feel we must devote our lives to their wellbeing.

You must read hurrah for gin. It's a very funny parenting blog and there is a post about the guilt fairy.

And award for most rubbish parent goes to me. My daughter has fallen down the stairs 3 times in 2 years. Luckily our stairs are split level but once she tripped over my foot - another time I left stairgate open and one day she ran off to the bathroom with her potty but decided to take it down the stairs. It takes a split second. One of my friends daughters fell from the changing table at 6 months. It happens to everyone. Often!

 

[Jazzbird]

ps. My parents left me and my sister to it. Sure I drank a bottle of perfume and locked myself in the boot of my mums car but apart from that we had freedom to make our own fun.

On another note I am wondering if I should get my amh tested since its 3 years since my last test. What do you think? Do you have any recommendations? I live in Hampshire though.

 

[Briss]

Jazzbird, are you going to TTc naturally? if so I wouldn't worry about AMH and save money for something else. i think it only matters if you are planning stimm IVF. Mine was tested a couple of years ago by CRGH as part of the IVF cycle.

I will definitely check that blog sounds sensible. I would not mind if my DD gets bored but she starts crying and not just crying but screaming hysterically and unless I stop that early on it turns into a very bad type of hysteria with awful coughing and shaking so i try to make sure I attend to her every attempt to start crying, not always possible.

I also had a lot of independence as a child. still not sure how i survived

and actually going to the toilet is a real issue in my house cos I am alone with her and often my loo visits are accompanied by screaming so I tend to hold it until an opportune moment...

I am reading a booked call French children don't throw food and it's about a different type of parenting where somehow babies sleep through the night almost from the start.

got a peak so hopefully i will have ovulation this cycle. all depends now on my LP. fingers crossed it's 14 days so I could write to the clinic. my acne is back so I am hoping it's a sign my cycle is returning to normal. I had a really wonderful acne free time during pregnancy and a few months after birth but i guess my acne is hormonal and directly connected to my cycle and oestrogen/progestrone interplay.

btw did you do any act during pregnancy and birth?

 

[Jazzbird]

Oh you must tell me what the book is about!

I remember my baby being very clingy as a small baby. She was glued to me 24/7 although I could transfer her at night to her cot if she was in a deep sleep. I gradually tried to get her to fall asleep by herself at night by giving my oh a bottle of expressed milk and I think the sheer volume plus the fact she hardly ever slept in the day would make her so drowsy she started to fall asleep by herself. I then did light touch sleep training when she was around 8 months. Gradual retreat as explained in sleep sense book. That worked a treat.

I think the boredom article I read is for school age children - I didn't mean for you to apply it to your baby - she's still very tiny!. Of course if your baby is crying you will want to comfort them. I used to get a lot of comments about how my baby was manipulating me mainly from my mum. I think that's crazy!!! They cry because they are uncomfortable or need something.

No we will ttc naturally but turning 40 this year which makes me feel very nervous about my fertility. It doesn't help that I'm surrounded by patients of a similar age who are struggling. I guess I thought if I knew my amh id feel more prepared for the possibility that we may not be successful.

I hope you get your ovulation!

 

[Vonn]

This is really interesting conversation to me! I'm sure I will have to fight being too overprotective and will freak out whenever a fall or something like it happens to my baby (I'm being positive and optimistic here). I just know it will be a battle.

 

[gingmg]

I don't know anything about that book you are reading Briss, but I get the feeling that I wouldn't do too well raising children in France. Some little babies start sleeping through very early, but if it is a cultural norm that small babies are sleeping through, my guess it is because parents are encouraged to not respond to them, or at least slowly increase the the length of time it takes to respond so that they learn not to wake up. I don't trust any advice that tells me to ignore my maternal instincts, and ignoring my son when he cries is not something that ever felt OK to me. I would also assume as a result, the breastfeeding rate in France must be very low. Breastfed babies need to eat overnight, at least while they are so young. There are so many different ways to parent and I don't mean to suggest that one way is right and one way is wrong, because I realize that what works for me may not work for someone else. I would love my little toddler to sometimes behave better, sit still longer, not have temper tantrums, ect. but I think a lot of that kind of behavior is normal and it does pass. I guess ultimately I feel it's not just about having them behave how we want now, its also about what kind of person we want them to be later. That's just my two sense though. That's not to say I don't have rules or expectations because I'm actually rather strict in some ways, but I always want him to feel safe to be himself and express how he feels, and unfortunately when it comes to toddlers that usually is demonstrated in ways that makes us crazy.

Jazz- I think I read that same article recently. I try to remember that when I have a day off and instead of taking him to the library in the morning we stay home and do laundry.

I love that this thread is active again. We've had so many lovely conversations over the years, it's nice to see them continue.

 

[gingmg]

Briss- it's hard not to feel guilty when accidents happen, but it's probably way more common then we realize. I always say that I feel like my son is one step away from an emergency room trip every day!

 

[gingmg]

Von-how does a donor cycle work? How long do you take the lupron? Does that mean she is stimming now?

 

[gingmg]

Vonn-how are you?

 

[Vonn]

Thanks for asking, gingmg. Bad news for me, I think. I had a saline sonohysterogram today and the dr who did it says there is debris on one side of my uterus and a possible polyp on the other side. She recommends a D&C and then a cycle off after that to heal. Hopefully, the results have now been sent to my IVF clinic, though they close early on Thursdays so I have to wait until tomorrow to find out if they see & recommend the same. I am super disappointed. I cried alone in the exam room, pulled myself together and walked out to see a hugely pregnant woman and her doting husband, and then a cute mom pushing a baby stroller with a cute baby. Just keep piling it on, universe, that's so lovely of you.

How are all the moms and little ones doing? Briss, has your cycle normalized yet?