Christening idea - Is this too cheeky?!?

[Noodles]

Honest opinions please.

As per my other post, I'm looking into having Dylan Christened in around August. Our house is too small to have everyone back to and the function rooms that are local already have things going on a Sunday so they won't rent us a room. So I came up with an idea, but I don't know if it's too cheeky or not.

The idea was to have the Christening and tell people on the invitation that we would be going to a local pub for lunch and they are more than welcome to join us. The pub would let us have a closed off area and they do a carvery and a normal pub lunch menu with kids options) as well as having a play area outside for the kids and a wacky warehouse attached to it.

So my question is...

Is it too cheeky to invite people to a Christening and expect for them to pay for their own food and drinks following the service?(

 

[caz81]

if you have asked them to travel a distance then yes it is, , as these aer people you know quite well prob they may have already got you a new baby gift, will buy a christening gift so to ask them to stump up for food as well is a bit cheeky in my view

 

[Lisa1302]

Its not cheeky really, if you can't afford to pay then at least they can choose to or not, some people do expect to be fed in exchange for the gift lol - but at the end of the day I give a gift to the child not so I can eat...so hopefully most people wouldn't mind!

I pees me off when people compare the gift they gave to the meal at weddings etc...I have heard people say they spent £30 on the present and then got a buffet that cost £5 a head.....I just don't get this attitude!

 

[samsugar7]

No not at all, or if you are worried do you have any family close enough with enough room to host it for you? x

 

[aimee-lou]

Depends how many guests and how far they are coming.

My sister had her wedding reception at a restaurant and we all had to pay for our meals. On top of fuel it cost us a fortune as well as getting a gift and accommodation. If we'd been more local then I don't think we would have had problems.

Could you put some moeny behind the bar for a couple of drinks for everyone, or give tokens with invitations for a discount/free drink?

 

[Noodles]

No not at all, or if you are worried do you have any family close enough with enough room to host it for you? x

Our families live about 2 hours away.

It's a tough one as on one hand I would like to be able to invite everyone, but I really can't afford to pay for them all on my Stat maternity pay. So if I was going to pay I could only invite a handful and then the problem becomes, you can't invite some people without others.

 

[daniandbaby]

I personally think it is a bit rude, maybe if u explain it to them all indiviually beforehand??? Or just invite close family. Or just you and the baby and u wont have to worry about feeding people. Or you could just wait to do the christining when you may be able to afford it and have time to save???

 

[ellie27]

I think it is a bit cheeky, sorry, but you did ask!

If you are inviting people to come celebrate any special occasion of yours then you should be providing some refreshments.

You shouldnt invite people to a restaurant and ask them to pay for theirs.

 

[sophxx]

do you not have a village hall you could hire or working mens club then just put a buffet on! i think its a bit cheeky to but its up to upu! x

 

[Beth09]

I think it is a bit cheeky! Can't you put on a bit of a buffet (sandwiches, sausage rolls etc) in a local pub? Most pubs wont charge for you to use it and that way people buy there own drinks but food is provided!

 

[Louisandcoco]

I'd think it was a bit cheeky if someone invited us to a christening and then told us that afterwards we would have to pay for food ourselves. Especially if we had travelled 2 hours.

As you're looking at August, is your or a friend's garden big enough to have a bbq? Renting a gazebo (sp?) isn't too much if the weather looks like it could be iffy. x

 

[Cattia]

It really depends, on the one hand, if you tell people in advance then it's their choice, but then on the other hand they might feel that they ought to come and if you have a family of four or five then for all of them to eat at a pub would cost them quite a bit. If it was me I would prefer to be invited back to someone's house and have a few sandwiches, even if it was a squash!

 

[Karb]

I think paying for your own drinks is fair enough but if people were traveling to a christening I'd expect at least a sausage roll or a sandwich.

I sympathize though as we're originally from Ireland we have had a party in Ireland and this sunday one in England. We hired a cheap local hall and a local takeaway is doing a spread for £6 a head.

 

[hypnorm]

I would expect to pay for my own drinks, but wouldnt be expecting to have to pay for food too.
if you are inviting people who are two hours away it gets expensive for them too what with fuel, presents etc.

What about as some one said BBQ in the garden - Ice land do great party packs that are really cheap or a buffet. Just something... i wouldnt expect a five course meal, but at least afew sausages and sandwiches,

 

[gills8752]

If I were you I'd have the christening then do drinks in the pub afterwards but have it at a time when you would'nt have food. Say if the christening was at 1pm then drinks afterwards at 2pm with a side note of the immediate family is going to stay for dinner if you want to join at your own cost. That way you've had a wee party and drinks but they aren't obliged to pay for their own food - and only will if they want to stay on into the evening.

I don't think its cheeky asking them to pay themselves, after all, we have just come out of a recession, everyone is tight on money and especially if you have a young family. I wouldn't put myself in debt for the sake of some long lost auntie who wants to scave a free sausage roll and a cuddle with a random baby who they won't have an impact on.

You also got the other option of bring a bottle/plate party.
I'm only having a christening for very close people and asking them to bring a bottle/plate. Would only cost them a few quid to make a plate of sarnies/tea cakes, and its perfectly acceptable to have a bring a bottle party so why not a bring a bottle christening!??
Christening at the end of the day are about welcoming the baby not filling your tummy on free food. They never used to include free food and drink - thats just a modern thing we all feel obliged to do these days.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with, you'd be surprised the amount of people who understand and the ones who don't - well - do you really want someone in your babies life who grumbles because you won't give them a free meal at your babies special day?!??

 

[Jody R]

I think it's a bit cheeky but if you are upfront about it on the invitations and are prepared for some people to chose not to come then you might get away with it.

I know it's not your fault that the private rooms are booked in advance but since you are saving the money it would cost to hire the venue it does seem a bit cheeky to say that your guests have to pay for all their own meals and drinks as well.

At the very least I think you should offer them one drink on you for a toast to the baby.

Thinking about it, at our wedding we paid for the meals (sit down and buffet), the champagne for the toast and to have soft drinks and water on the tables throughout the meals. Guests then paid for any other drinks themselves.

But I've been to a wedding where I was expected to pay for my meal and all my drinks and there were grumblings from the guests, especially when some of them had travelled a long way, paid for transport and accommodation, new outfits, the present, their other meals and were expected to buy the bride and groom a drink for thier day and it was a bit of a downer on the day to listen to all the whispered complaining.

And I've been to a naming party where everything was paid for by the parents of the children being named (that always feels a bit odd to say, one of them was seven years old) and I felt a bit guilty that they had paid for everything. They hired a venue and one of those hog-roast vans and just bought lots of the alcohol deal things at the supermarket (3 bottles of wine for £10 or three cases of beer for £20 type things and masses of fruit shoot drinks for the kids) but they were storing them in their garage for a few months beforehand to spread the cost and to get round the limited amount per customer rules.

I hope you find a good compromise that works for you.

 

[Jody R]

Just an extra thought, would your pub offer you a discount on a large party ordering meals so that you could save up and pay something towards it.

There's a lovely pub near us that charges £3.50 for a carvery in the week or £5.99 at the weekend so if yours does something similar and you are having a lot of people go back and they are expecting you they might offer you the midweek price just to get your business. Or perhaps you can ask them to offer a free drink to anyone in your party buying the carvery.

And if you do buy some wine for a toast they might offer you a discount on that as you will be paying for a few bottles.

It never hurts to be checky and ask and at least that way you can offer your guests something even if you can't afford to pay for everything.

 

[pheobe]

personally I wouldn't do it I'd rather wait till I could afford to put a bit of a do on myself BUT I would certainly not have a problem going to a friends special do and paying for myself if they were tight for cash as I would rather be part of the event and the day

Last year a really good work friend of mine got married we;ve worked together for 6 years...40 hours per week sat next to each other talking about everything I swear only our mothers and our GPs know us better then each other ;-) when she got married last year her parents paid for the whole big day and while it had been in her plans for me and my OH to be there all day we ended up not being invited at all - as her parents didnt know us and wouldnt pay for us, I offered to pay for myself happily but she wouldnt have it and we were both gutted. I would have paid my last penny to see her in her big dress and take her vows because I care and I would feel the same about a christening for a wee one I cared about

xxx

 

[Twiglet]

I dont think its cheeky at all...thats we did for Caitlyn's christening and everyone was happy to pay as we have no money ourselves

 

[Noodles]

Thanks girls, I'll have a look into getting discounts and things take it form there.