Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

Yikes BHG,praying that God takes away the headache. How long has it been going on for? If it persists too long I would hate a doctor check it out.

Eyemom, great news about your friend! Keep us posted!
 
https://s23.postimg.org/7m682twlj/Seasons_Change_HD_Ready.jpg

The stories from this new season are worming their way out, wanting to be told but i can't tell them yet. Just as the monsoon isn't finished yet, this season isn't finished either and i can't tell the stories until it is. I think it's because i don't know how it will end up. I don't know how long it will go on for or what i will make of it in the end. I don't know what i will have learnt or how i will emerge from it. Without perspective of time, it's very difficult to know.

Looking back on the seasons from a distance can be easy. It can even be a blessing. Because the seasons are finished, we can neatly wrap them up and name them and describe what we learn from our toil. We can even see how it fitted together and how God used it over time. But in the season right now, we can't say those things.

It's very difficult to see. But I'm slowly learning that i don't need to see everything and that even though the things before me are unknown, they're not the full story. They're certainly not the full story to God, who sees everything and who cares and who acts. He is not panicking, he is reigning. In this season i need to work at seeing things through His eyes.

From the Book "My Seventh Monsoon", by Naomi Reed.


xxx_faithful
 
Hi ladies, thanks for your prayers for our dear friends where the mama was losing amniotic fluid a couple of weeks ago. She had been doing well on bed rest until today - cord prolapse. :cry: I thought she was a little bit further along but I guess she was only 22 weeks + some days. Baby moved into birth canal and was born today - and lived about a minute. They tried to give him a breathing tube but it just wasn't going to work. Please pray for the family. <3
 
Hi Ladies,

Eyemom-I am so sorry to hear about your friend, that is heartbreaking.

I logged on today to ask for some prayer. My DH husband will be undergoing major abdominal surgery tomorrow that in part will be exploratory. I am so scared I never never thought we would be facing all these hurdles.

I will be updating my blog during our hospital stay (link in signature) and will try to get on here as well.

Thank you,

Sarah
 
My period came on strong yesterday, with it's usual pain and cramping...
So, that was my first Clomid cycle.

I am just feeling spent. I can't even have any real feelings about this anymore... it's just this sense of mind numbing acceptance that my life just isn't what I want it to be. I have been seeing something all along that may be different than what God sees for me... How can I be so far away from his desires for me that I am spending every ounce of life and energy I have trying to make something happen that won't?

I feel like I've fallen down a well and I just have to stay down here until someone shows me something else. Something else to grab onto.

I really can't imagine that I have many more months of this. I need to let go.
 
My period came on strong yesterday, with it's usual pain and cramping...
So, that was my first Clomid cycle.

I am just feeling spent. I can't even have any real feelings about this anymore... it's just this sense of mind numbing acceptance that my life just isn't what I want it to be. I have been seeing something all along that may be different than what God sees for me... How can I be so far away from his desires for me that I am spending every ounce of life and energy I have trying to make something happen that won't?

I feel like I've fallen down a well and I just have to stay down here until someone shows me something else. Something else to grab onto.

I really can't imagine that I have many more months of this. I need to let go.

I am so sorry! I wish I had words to comfort you with! I'm praying for you. Sending a virtual hug your way. :hugs: :hugs:
 
My period came on strong yesterday, with it's usual pain and cramping...
So, that was my first Clomid cycle.

I am just feeling spent. I can't even have any real feelings about this anymore... it's just this sense of mind numbing acceptance that my life just isn't what I want it to be. I have been seeing something all along that may be different than what God sees for me... How can I be so far away from his desires for me that I am spending every ounce of life and energy I have trying to make something happen that won't?

I feel like I've fallen down a well and I just have to stay down here until someone shows me something else. Something else to grab onto.

I really can't imagine that I have many more months of this. I need to let go.

Hey phaedypants...

I did eight rounds of clomid. It was a medicine that made me feel so emotionally spent. My DH just didn't know what to do. I was constantly crying at the drop of a hat. I am praying for you. You don't reckon it could be the side effects of the clomid working on you, do you?

:hugs: to you sweetie! I'm praying for you! :flower:
 
So I spent my Independence Day holiday at work. It was so boring. I felt kind of strange sitting there getting paid for watching four hours of TV (I worked a ten hour shift today). There were several of us there until around lunch. I ended up being by myself for four hours. It was very nice and quiet. Our company founder even sat downstairs with us just to chit chat for about 45 minutes.

After I got off work, we went to my in-laws house for a BBQ cookout. We ate ribs, corn on the cob, and macaroni salad. That was great too. It had been a while since I had eaten some ribs.

Our city is hosting a Freedom on the River celebration, but we don't go because my DH can't handle the firework explosions. He's probably not going to sleep much over the next few days since we live on the busiest street in town and people like to blow up fireworks. He can't handle the loud explosions with his PTSD. He starts to get antsy and ends up not sleeping. Y'all please say a quick prayer for him.

My 32nd birthday is in a couple of weeks. The DH and I are planning on another weekend excursion at the coast here soon. I am so excited. I love going to the coast. It's about a three hour ride from home so it's not so far away we can't drive back if needed but close enough if something happens and we have to come home. I don't necessarily go to the beach itself (there's been too many shark sightings lately) but I have fun doing some shopping and having a great time with my DH.

Other than that, not too much is going on. Just the same old stuff!

Stay blessed everyone! :flower::flower:
 
Big hugs phaedypants. I feel like understand your feelings at least a little bit. I know it's different b/c I had secondary infertility, so had a child before I had to deal with all of this. So I'm not trying to make it out to be like it's the same thing. But I can relate to what you're saying. This part in particular really resonated with me:

How can I be so far away from his desires for me that I am spending every ounce of life and energy I have trying to make something happen that won't?

It's such a hard place to be to try to come to grips with this. Don't be afraid to cry out to God and say everything on your heart, even hurt, frustration, anger. Plead with Him even if you think you sound crazy to your own ears. I can't say I ever got to the point where I was ready to accept that I was going to have just one child, but I did find some peace in a very unexpected way.

FWIW, Clomid worked for me on my second month. Some ladies are lucky to get it to work on first try, but I don't think it does for most. I have also heard LOTS AND LOTS of stories about ladies whose Clomid side-effects were the worst after AF hit (to kind of expound on what Amanda was saying).

But yeah, when my period came after my first Clomid cycle, I did feel totally and completely defeated. Like I was running out of time/options.

I really earnestly pray--I am praying right now! That you get your chance to be a mommy and that the Clomid works for you. And praying that no matter what, you will feel a total sense of peace wherever you are. :hug:
 
Thanks for the kind words and prayers.
I continue to pray for this group, and I am so grateful to be able to share with people who can relate to the fear and sorrow and exhaustion.
I think it's partly true that the Clomid has had a big effect on my mood. I have been in tears over some weird things this month. (I found myself crying a couple weeks ago when I read a mean comment that a blogger made about someone's dress.)
I am soul weary though. Just so much hope constantly having to be found when I feel like there's no more, and then I find some, and hold it so tight, but it falls away too.
I do feel like I understand God more though. I see more what he is looking for from me. I am more open to Him. I pray that I can truly be open to His plans for my life, whatever they may be. I believe that He intends for me to be a mother, but not only a mother. There are many things my Lord wants me to see and understand, and I know that the only peaceful life comes from gratitude and acceptance.
 
tonight found out one of my best friends and my sweet sister from church who was pregnant most likely lost the baby. She should be 10wks and wed at u/s baby was measuring at 8w 3d. She goes in Monday to have one last u/s to double check and then DC. Praying God works a miracle, I was so excited for her. At first sad cause she was pregnant and not me but was so looking forward to this child. I already loved the baby and couldn't wait to meet him/her. Sad sad day. But before they left the hospital from visiting us we prayed and God is good we felt Jesus' sweet presence.

I know God always has a plan but this was the bright spot in and me DH life, we are very close to this couple. They were so excited it is like someone let all the air out of a balloon:cry:.
 

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