CIO Support Group

[lynnikins]

yeah im doing CIO with Elliott,
with Nate then he was on the SCBU for a few days and under lights for nearly a week post birth so i couldnt pick him up every time he cried and he learned to self settle so it was alot easier when we brought him home, with Elliott then i was on a post natal ward for 2 nights caus of my health post birth so couldnt just let him CIO and had mw's trying to push me to give him formula at night and taking him off me and out into the light hallway to give the other ladies and babies some sleep so he got used to being held to go to sleep and we ended up co-sleeping to allow me to sleep and he slept in my arms during the day for the last week, and because my health hasnt been great since birth then i didnt have it in me to let him CIO till DH pulled my mum into it and made me do it and already its only been less than a day and hes a different baby

 

[Arcanegirl]

Sorry but if theres one thing i definatley know about CC and CIO is that its NOT reccomended before 6 months!

There is a big difference betwen not being able to pick LO up because of an incubator and purposely leaving them!

Babies at that age have needs and they cry for a reason, if its to be held then so be it.

 

[Elliebank]

Wow. I agree with Arcanegirl. It's gonna be hard for a good few wks yet, that's the thing about newborns - they wake often for food!! They cry for a reason - usually food - and shouldn't be ignored! He isn't crying for attention, he's crying cos he needs something. Please please don't leave him crying. I know yr tired but it WILL get better. For the time being tho, yr son needs frequent feeds and needs to know his Mummy is there for him. Please don't use CIO on a newborn

 

[lynnikins]

say what you will i know when my son is hungry hes a big boy ( 10lbs 12 oz at birth ) and i never leave him when he needs something its only when im 100% confident that he doesnt need anything and is only after attention,

I dont mean to be rude or abprut but this is supposed to be a support thread, and we should be supporting each others choices rather than critizing them, I have a few years of childcare experience with newborns and toddlers under my belt and tend to work from my experience with what works for me and for the children im looking after be they my own or somone elses, I wont purposely leave a child to scream for hours just ignoring their needs im not mean, however i wont pander to a childs whims no matter how old or young they are

 

[Arcanegirl]

A newborn always needs something when they cry??

Not something id agree with at such a young age. I dont think anyone could possibly know what their baby wants at that age, even with having others previous.

 

[lynnikins]

ive edited my post,
and yes i think a newborn doesnt cry for no reason they have needs, be it a hug or food or a change or because they are hot or cold or overtired / overstimulated,

Elliott was having alot of trouble sleeping due to being overtired constantly because he didnt get the chance to settle from birth with disruppted feeding and sleeping patterns because of being in hospital with me so he had some catch up sleeping to do and short of letting him cry my alternative was to rock him or cradle him till he slept and have him only sleep for 30-40 min every 5-6 hours which anyone will tell you is not good for a newborn or a mum, he wouldnt sleep longer and i spent a week trying everything under the sun short of drugging him up on infant calpol to get him to settle in the end he only needed to be left to settle himself and scream it out a bit, throughout all of today hes gone down for his naps awake and settled within 5 -10 min and gone to sleep which has made him a happier more settled baby and made living so much eaiser on the rest of the household,
the more a child sleeps the more they sleep as the saying goes, if they dont need the sleep they will wake up but if they do then the more they get and the more regular it is then the better it is for them

 

[taperjeangirl]

I just cant and I dont think anyone else on here will be able to support you leaving a newborn to CIO....

He might well be crying for attention but that is what they need at that age. Even if it is for a cuddle.
they have been cosied up and warm inside your womb for 9 months and do not need abandoned at such an early age.
I cant believe you cant cope with your newborns crys......... and you wanted to CIO in hospital?!

From 6 months is recommended because they have had time to adjust to the outside world and are at the right age to self settle.

I can also guarantee that if you were looking after anyone elses child they wouldnt want you doing that to theirs either, even with your years of experience.

You wont get support here for that

 

[taperjeangirl]

In reply to your last post,

It takes them a while to settle into a routine..... they cry..... you deal with the lack of sleep..... thats what having a baby is about.

I was in hospital for 6 days with my first and it made no difference to getting into a routine when we got home and this certainly didnt include CIO

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Heeey everyone.....I did CIO with Maley (only a few times as she is a good sleeper anyway) and will do it with this baby.......only when she is older though (CIO with a newborn is madness IMO......they are still adjusting to life outside the womb)....

We did it with Maley only a few times when she was about 5/6 months old......by then she was sleeping through the night so i knew she wasnt hungry but once she was ill so we were cuddling her in the night and then by the time she was better she got used to the cuddling so we had to use CIO to get her back to how she was.

Its not nice BUT it did work for us.

TIP! Time the crying.....often it felt much longer than it was....1 minute of crying can feel like 15!

 

[Arcanegirl]

We did cio last night. No choice really, CC doesnt work anymore and makes the whole process last twice as long.

We timed the crying like you said Rachie and Alex only went for 20 mins!
He woke up at 2am again so we listened to the cry, decided it wasnt urgent for anything and he was back to sleep after 10 mins!

I cried myself last night first time doing it, i always saw it as a last resort but now weve done the first night, things seem better already.

 

[taperjeangirl]

AG, tonight will be easier I promise! I'll meet you on MSN again to keep your mind off it

Just think ...a week of doing this and he will be a much better sleeper and you and OH can get your evenings back!

 

[Arcanegirl]

That would be great thankyou
I think bedtime should be around 7.30ish, he woke at 6am this morning

Gonna send you a message on FB, got a qu to ask..

 

[Elliebank]

Yes this is a support group for CIO/CC - when it is carried out correctly. CIO & CC are only recommended for children of 6mths & older. So of course we will support any parent carrying it out on their 6mth or older child but on a newborn? I don't think so

Arcanegirl - well done on you & Alex, that's great that he only cried for 20mins, and already it got better with the 10 mins! Good tip on timing it cos I bet if you hadn't it would have seemed like a lot longer!

 

[taperjeangirl]

Oh it does! It feel likes forever the first night like they have been going on for ages!

 

[Arcanegirl]

Didnt get a chance to do it for naptime, we were out to Asda and he fell asleep in teh taxi back. He just got plonked in the cot, jacket and shoes still on and hes fast asleep

 

[taperjeangirl]

lol good stuff! Once you get bedtimes sorted naptimes will follow

 

[Arcanegirl]

Here goes naptime

 

[Arcanegirl]

okay, i have another question..

Alex has only had a 40 min nap and woke up again. Hes by far had enough sleep so do i just leave him?

 

[Vestirse]

If he's had enough sleep, I think yes - but let that time be quiet until the actual end of naptime? My ped tells me to limit the daytime naps if you want them to sleep through the night. My son isn't quite there yet, still wakes at about 4am, but we have seen a decrease in daytime napping as he lengthens his night sleep.

I have to admit, I started CC before 6 months, but it was hard because my son had colic for the first 3 months of his life. However, we didn't really start the real scheduling until around 4 1/2 months then CIO (just started this) when he seemed to take to the schedule. There were a few times after we had seen the pediatrician on speed dial one too many times, that we realized there was nothing we could do, he was just going to cry, but we made sure all his needs were met (probably about twice over just in case!) before we'd let him cry for several minutes on his own. If we reached 15-20 minutes we'd start all over again to see if anything was wrong. He actually usually was out like a light in 5-10 minutes. However, he was a lot older than 10 days even when we started that... closer to 3 months.

 

[Arcanegirl]

Id disagree with limiting nap times, ive always gone by better sleep in the day aids better sleep at night.

We let him cio and he went back to sleep again for a while, he woke happier second time around.
For a baby who slept 1.5-2 hours per nap, 40 mins definatley isnt enough for him.