Clomid Buddies (moved from TTC board)

[steph1607]

My word, sometimes I am so grateful for the NHS. So far all we've had to pay has been £8 something each time we've been prescribed Norethisterone, Clomid etc. some areas offer up to 3 rounds of IVF on the NHS too, but hopefully it won't come to that.

Belle and Lucy, you are both right, I think we are entitled to feel crap sometimes. DH is an incredibly positive person in all aspects of life which is a great trait, but sometimes I have to remind him that it's okay if I feel down, he doesn't necessarily need to try and 'cheer me up'. Grieving is allowed!

 

[BelleNuit]

I am envious of the NHS coverage, not gonna lie!

I paid 300 for my HSG, my IUI is 400 plus the cost of cycle monitoring which is 300. IVF will cost between 9000-12000 depending on the cost of meds. Where I live basic infertility testing is covered, but as I am seeing a private clinic nothing (aside the cost of seeing the doctor) is covered. The benefit of the private clinic is I can receive the treatments whenever I want them. With the public clinic there is a lower cost but a much longer wait. It would probably take me 6 months to even be seen for an initial consult at the public clinic because I am under 30 and have unexplained infertility. I would be seen as a low priority. Last I heard the waitlist for IVF at the public clinic was up to a year for people like me. So we'll pay more and get the treatment we want when we want it

 

[steph1607]

Where do you live Belle?

We were pleasantly surprised actually because usually for a referral for something like this you could expect to wait a good few months just for an appointment, but we were referred somewhere which is half NHS and half private, so even our wait for the NHS half was really quick, only a few weeks.

 

[BelleNuit]

I live in western Canada. There are some Canadian provinces that cover fertility treatments, but where I live unfortunately they don't.

 

[rickyandlucy]

Belle, sounds like you know exactly how I feel. I should mention it is my younger brother too. Granted his wife is older than me (32) and she feels like her biological clock is ticking, but we have been married 3 years and they have been married one month. I just need a BFP before I find out about theirs. I don't care if we are pregnant at the same time, I just can't bear to find out that they are if we aren't. When they got engaged I kept envisioning myself being pregnant at their wedding. Now it's past that and still no end in sight.

This morning my brother mentioned that they weren't trying yet and I blurted out "Don't". Then I added quickly, "give yourselves some time first". I know they will be great parents, I just want to be able to be truly happy for them.

In your case, yikes, I am sorry. That's quite a tricky situation. Let's hope we both get our BFP's ASAP!

 

[BelleNuit]

I totally get it Lucy! My brother had a long engagement. When they first announced I honestly thought that we would already have a baby by the time they got married HAHA, or at the very least be pregnant. If I got pregnant this cycle we would find out on the day of their wedding. I would be about 12 dpo by that point and would test so that I knew I could safely drink. I'm not holding my breath.

In addition to all of the other reasons their having a baby would make me nervous, I would absolutely hate hate hate it if they got pregnant before me lol. I also would care less if we were pregnant at the same time. I just don't think I could tolerate it if she was pregnant (someone whom I don't believe should have another child) and I wasn't.

I know how terrible I sound, but I truly don't even care.

 

[LAR83]

I understand ya'll. DH came home from hanging out with some friends last week. One of the couples got married not very long ago and recently bought a house. I asked how they were doing and he said "good," nothing else. I said, "she isn't pregnant yet?" I figured she would be. DH said that actually she did just announce that she was pregnant, but he wasn't planning to share that with me unless I asked because he didn't want to upset me. I said.. "that stuff doesn't upset me." It didn't upset me to hear she was pregnant and often I don't get upset by pregnancy announcements, but then DH reminded me, "when your brother announced his wife was pregnant you were bawling." I was like "oohh yea, I forgot about that." Something about it being my younger brother tore me to bits because I felt like I should be first. Their kid just turned one and they are great parents. Belle, it would piss me off even more if it was like your brother's situation!

 

[rickyandlucy]

I totally get it Lucy! My brother had a long engagement. When they first announced I honestly thought that we would already have a baby by the time they got married HAHA, or at the very least be pregnant. If I got pregnant this cycle we would find out on the day of their wedding. I would be about 12 dpo by that point and would test so that I knew I could safely drink. I'm not holding my breath.

In addition to all of the other reasons their having a baby would make me nervous, I would absolutely hate hate hate it if they got pregnant before me lol. I also would care less if we were pregnant at the same time. I just don't think I could tolerate it if she was pregnant (someone whom I don't believe should have another child) and I wasn't.

I know how terrible I sound, but I truly don't even care.

You don't sound terrible to me at all. You sound exactly like me, lol. I was testing all the way up until the day of their wedding. I was 13 DPO that day, and BFN that morning. I asked DH if he thought we might still be pregnant. He said no. I went ahead and drank, had myself a good time. Glad I did, because two days later AF arrived.

 

[rickyandlucy]

I understand ya'll. DH came home from hanging out with some friends last week. One of the couples got married not very long ago and recently bought a house. I asked how they were doing and he said "good," nothing else. I said, "she isn't pregnant yet?" I figured she would be. DH said that actually she did just announce that she was pregnant, but he wasn't planning to share that with me unless I asked because he didn't want to upset me. I said.. "that stuff doesn't upset me." It didn't upset me to hear she was pregnant and often I don't get upset by pregnancy announcements, but then DH reminded me, "when your brother announced his wife was pregnant you were bawling." I was like "oohh yea, I forgot about that." Something about it being my younger brother tore me to bits because I felt like I should be first. Their kid just turned one and they are great parents. Belle, it would piss me off even more if it was like your brother's situation!

Yeah, it makes me sad to see pregnancy announcements, but it really depends on who it is. I saw one yesterday on FB, and it sucks but it is what it is. But if it were my brother I would definitely bawl. Really hoping it doesn't come to that.

 

[BelleNuit]

I agree, those pregnancy announcements from people who you are closest to seem to hurt the most for some reason. I think because we want to be happy for them, but it still hurts so we are conflicted. With anyone else who I don't know well I can happily begrudge them, block them on facebook and go on my way haha

I don't know what I would do without you ladies! You always make me feel so much better about things.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

My problem is the announcement of pregnancy, not the being around them. Only 1 person ( my BFFs sister) did i have a problem being around and only 1 baby was i around and i needed to go hide in a corner.

Even some BFP posts on here, i open it and my heart sinks.

 

[BelleNuit]

I know what you mean Earth. I'm happy for people on here who get their bfps, but it hurts in a way too because I feel like I'm losing a friend. There are a number of friends that I have made on here who have already gone on and have had their babies. Meanwhile I'm still trying. I've been the "last person standing" on some threads already which is super sucky

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I know what you mean Earth. I'm happy for people on here who get their bfps, but it hurts in a way too because I feel like I'm losing a friend. There are a number of friends that I have made on here who have already gone on and have had their babies. Meanwhile I'm still trying. I've been the "last person standing" on some threads already which is super sucky

Yep i get that feeling too. like youre down to the last few people and then WHAM, the thread is dead. I dont want everyone to lag behind with me or be stuck either.

Sometimes I feel like people dont want to see or hear from us because we are doom and gloom. Im more than IF.

 

[rickyandlucy]

My problem is the announcement of pregnancy, not the being around them. Only 1 person ( my BFFs sister) did i have a problem being around and only 1 baby was i around and i needed to go hide in a corner.

Even some BFP posts on here, i open it and my heart sinks.

Oh yeah, been there. 2 cycles ago, I had a particularly hard time coping with AF's arrival. Lots of tears. The very next day I had to go to my future sis in law's bridal shower. Cried the whole way there. Then I get there, and her cousin brought her baby girl. Adorable, beautiful baby. I spent most of the party trying not to cry. I wanted to smile and be happy but I felt like I was dying inside.

I posted this on the TWW thread but not here; I often dream more than usual during the TWW, but the last couple of nights they have been even more unusual and vivid. Last night I had my first ever dream about getting a BFP. I know it is more than likely wishful thinking, but I still can't help but wonder...

After that I also a nightmare about my brother dying. That one had me freaked out. I woke up in a panic. Not cool!

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Oh yeah, been there. 2 cycles ago, I had a particularly hard time coping with AF's arrival. Lots of tears. The very next day I had to go to my future sis in law's bridal shower. Cried the whole way there. Then I get there, and her cousin brought her baby girl. Adorable, beautiful baby. I spent most of the party trying not to cry. I wanted to smile and be happy but I felt like I was dying inside.

I posted this on the TWW thread but not here; I often dream more than usual during the TWW, but the last couple of nights they have been even more unusual and vivid. Last night I had my first ever dream about getting a BFP. I know it is more than likely wishful thinking, but I still can't help but wonder...

After that I also a nightmare about my brother dying. That one had me freaked out. I woke up in a panic. Not cool!

I just had a pregnancy dream too! Mine was that the vet called with our dogs bloodwork and they said " everything is fine but youre pregnant!" and I said id be like 6wks, what is my level? and they said "92".

 

[rickyandlucy]

I just had a pregnancy dream too! Mine was that the vet called with our dogs bloodwork and they said " everything is fine but youre pregnant!" and I said id be like 6wks, what is my level? and they said "92".

That is funny, lol! Let's hope that our bodies are trying to tell us something and not just teasing us, lol. Fx!

 

[rickyandlucy]

I know what you mean Earth. I'm happy for people on here who get their bfps, but it hurts in a way too because I feel like I'm losing a friend. There are a number of friends that I have made on here who have already gone on and have had their babies. Meanwhile I'm still trying. I've been the "last person standing" on some threads already which is super sucky

It totally does feel like losing a friend. I get that 100%. And some of it I know I do to myself by isolating myself, but I can't help it. Self preservation I suppose.

 

[BelleNuit]

I know what you mean Earth. I'm happy for people on here who get their bfps, but it hurts in a way too because I feel like I'm losing a friend. There are a number of friends that I have made on here who have already gone on and have had their babies. Meanwhile I'm still trying. I've been the "last person standing" on some threads already which is super sucky

It totally does feel like losing a friend. I get that 100%. And some of it I know I do to myself by isolating myself, but I can't help it. Self preservation I suppose.

Yes I know its mostly my own fault that I have lost touch with people on here. It is completely self preservation. I hope that since some of them have been through it too that they'll understand. But I wonder if they really do or not. Oh well, guess it can't be helped.

I know what you mean Earth. I'm happy for people on here who get their bfps, but it hurts in a way too because I feel like I'm losing a friend. There are a number of friends that I have made on here who have already gone on and have had their babies. Meanwhile I'm still trying. I've been the "last person standing" on some threads already which is super sucky

Yep i get that feeling too. like youre down to the last few people and then WHAM, the thread is dead. I dont want everyone to lag behind with me or be stuck either.

Sometimes I feel like people dont want to see or hear from us because we are doom and gloom. Im more than IF.

I like that, we are all more than just IF. I do often feel like I'm the doom and gloom person crushing dreams of an easy bfp left right and centre

I tend to get pretty vivid dreams during the TWW, but haven't had a pregnancy dream in awhile now. I think a lot of it was just wish fulfillment dreaming for me. Those dreams are hard because you really believe you are pregnant for a few moments and just that feeling of elation... its pretty intense. Hopefully we'll all to get experience that in real life at some point.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

i POAS because its CD88 and why not? BFN. No big deal.

In other news, nothing exciting. Its been in the 70s here and nice.

 

[Ask4joy]

I feel ya, ladies...I was a mess when my step-sister announced on Christmas Eve (and she was only 7 weeks). She's 5-6 years younger than me and got married the same month as me and it just killed me that she got pregnant first. I snapped at my mom who was being very insensitive about it when she knew I had just finished 3 rounds of clomid and an HSG. I've already decided I won't go to her baby shower unless I'm already pregnant. It will be too painful.

That being said I think I'll feel pretty happy for any of you that get your BFP. When my best friend got her BFP after 8 failed IUIs and her first IVF after 4-5 years of trying for her 2nd child I was so happy. I think when you've seen someone struggle it gives you hope when you see the light at the end of their tunnel...hope that it can happen for you too.

So I just paid up on my recent fertility bills...we've already spent over $2000 on fertility related expenses (more if you add in pregnancy and ovulation tests, pre-seed, etc)! And we've only done 1 round of IUI. Here's hoping DH gets an even better paying job and health insurance soon (although I haven't talked to anyone in Ohio who's health insurance covered IVF). His re-scheduled interview is in 30 mins.