Thanks Lace&pearls and K4th, yeah I will go just to figure out what is going on and if I can do something to boost my health. I will be approximately CD13 on that day so if he does an u/s he might actually get some good info regarding the state of my uterine lining, follies etc.
I'm dreading it though.... because although I REALLY want to have a baby, I have some good days now where I feel like I have made peace with infertility. It has been really, really hard to start to accept that it will probably never happen and I'm so scared to get false hope and the accompanying deep depression again. I'm starting counseling on Thursday and I just want to be happy.... obviously I want to have a child but if that is impossible I don't want to subject myself to more procedures, tests, expenses etc. DH told me that he is actually willing for us to go through IVF (once we can afford it) but he doesn't want me to be so depressed so he is willing to give up on having a child if I can be happy..... if that makes sense.
Urgh sorry but I'm worried and in the back of my mind praying that I'm actually pregnant this month (that's a laugh!!) so that I DON"T have to go and see the specialist. Just had to vent a bit. Thinking I should just stay off the forums again to give my mind some space :/.