Clomid/FE Conceived Buddies :)

[Fluffycookie]

Hello everyone - long time since I last posted!! So nice that you are all still thinking of me

Our daughter was born right at the end of April, two days after her due date. Sadly, the birth was very difficult and after two days ended in a C-section. The operation was not easy either, I had massive blood loss and my doctor told me flat out if it had not been her (she is head of gynecology at the hospital) but the resident that night, I might not have made it. We spent three days in hospital during which my midwife decided not to show and there were no childcare nurses available - breastfeeding was very difficult and my hubby stayed with me the entire time and did everything. It was a weekend, the nurses were understaffed and we would ring the call bell for 2-3 hours before someone ever came. It was horrendous.

Finally home, our little girl had lost so much weight I needed to pump and bottle feed. She regained some, but after a week was losing weight again, so we had to supplement with formula. I got blocked ducts in both breasts from the change, so I was cooling them/applying warm compresses before feeding, pumping afterwards to keep up supply and making bottles round the clock. My midwife told me it was my fault for stressing too much - at that point I decided not to have her come anymore.

This is just a brief summary, but it's been the most difficult time of my life by far. Two weeks ago, we finally managed to see a lactation consultant and things have been going better since then. She is now entirely off formula again (yay!) and we are breastfeeding with nipple shields, trying to wean off them at the moment. She cries a lot (several hours each day), which I can't blame her for given what we have been through, and won't nap during thed ay usually. I hope things will slowly continue to get better from here. On the bright side, she is the cutest little baby and started smiling just before the 6 week mark (last Thrusday), and it's the sweetest thing ever

I have been reading along silently and I'm glad to hear you are all doing so well!

 

[Nita2806]

Fluffy, I am so sorry! I am SO GLAD that you both are well. Please dont be scared to talk to someone if you feel its all too much - post natal depression can creep up when you least expect it. Not saying you have it haha, just saying if its all a little much to handle, please talk to someone about it.

Those smiles are the best, right! Wait until they turn into little giggles - its the best thing ever.

I am glad you managed breastfeeding - even with help I found it extremely difficult, I cant even imagine what you must have been through. Things will just get better from here.

How are you recovering from the CS surgery?



TTC - Liezl has no teeth, NONE whatsoever, not even a little bit of white on her gums, nothing. I am wondering if she will ever get teeth by this rate. She is chewing on her gums, but gosh it cant be nice. I check each morning to find absolutely NOTHING!

 

[Fluffycookie]

@Nita
I have already contacted someone about postpartum support, waiting to hear back from them. I definitely need to talk to someone about this birth experience and the two weeks right after if I'm ever going to even thinka bout having another child... and I really wanted two or three before this.

I'm not sure you can say I managed breastfeeding, it's still a daily battle and I'm not sure we'll be able to get away from the nipple shields. Can you tell me a little more about how your feeding journey was? Everyone in my family just had an easy time and their babies latched "by themselves", whereas my little one has trouble because of the c-section and all the medication and she still hasn't learned how to latch properly without the help of a nipple shield At least she drinks with it now, but it takes her 50-60 minutes... she doesn't know when she's full, so she often spits up A LOT (projectile style) after feeding, or goes to sleep and then wakes up crying and mouthing like she's still hungry. Hearing everywhere that breastfeeding is so wonderful and great has just made me frustrated X) I had wanted to breastfeed for a year, now I'm googling how soon we can start solids

The recovery has been pretty good after the first month in which my body had to replace all the lost blood. i'm still on iron supplements to help that, but I'm now allowed to walk around for 20 minutes each day, so I can take short walks with my dog again which has been nice. Luckily hubby has 8 weeks of paternity leave - things would be flat out impossible without that. I'm dreading when he goes back to work, but phyically, I think I'm strong enough again to do things by myself.


Haha, you checking daily if LIezl has teeth! My nipples were so raw, cracked and bleeding before we got the nipple shields, I cannot *imagine* breastfeeding a baby with teeth :S

 

[Nita2806]

I am glad you found someone to talk to. I think its important to work through this.

I didnt have a traumatic birth experience, but I couldnt cope with all the health issues, I gave myself over to food and chocolates, it helped me cope, and until last month I couldnt even look at the mirror at how fat and ugly I felt. I took control of my body and is working hard to get back into shape. So my point is just, you have to take control, you are bigger than this, you will get through it. Vent here if you want to as well...

My BF journey... Liezl was born with high sugar, so she mostly slept and didnt want to drink at all. Day 3, the day before we went home I met an angel (BFing Nurse) - she didnt give up, she helped me try every now and then to get her to latch, AND she did. It hurt a lot the first few weeks, it bled a lot, but eventually it feels like second nature. At 3.5 months she went to school and I stopped BFing. She has been on formula ever since, and honestly she is growing good, shes healthy and her milk tastes like Milky Bar, so she enjoys it. I am glad I could BF but I am glad she is on formula now, I needed a break, and dont regret anything.

I wouldnt suggest solids before 4 months... even then, you give a little bit just to get them used to it, but only after 6 months can you reduce milk and give 3 meals a day (This is how we do it in South Africa)

I am not a Dr, but it sounds like she might have reflux. Perhaps you can get to a Pead and just ask about it? Check her weight regularly, thats usually the first sign that somethings wrong. I remember Liezl gaining about 1.2kgs (Almost 3lbs) per month in the first 3 months.

Luckily not BFing so not worried about the teeth, but she's almost 8 months and most babies either have teeth or atleast signs that they are coming by this point. And she just have nothing - so a little worried. I want to get more textured food but I dont like her chewing on her gums.

 

[Fluffycookie]

I remember reading about your health problems, and later Liezl getting sick in the daycare as well - that's a lot to deal with! I have turned to chocolates a lot as well, I must admit. I had lost all but 2kg of my pregnancy weight at first, but not I have nearly 6kg to lose X) I have tried to buy more vegetables and cut them into sticks to eat with hummus as snacks instead, but chocolate bars are easiest to grab and store at my nursing station. Thank you, it really feels like I won't get through this sometime!

It's good to hear she's growing so well now, I think the first three months are the most important time anyway My pediatrician said formula is really good today and not to feel bad if I can't breastfeed. Honestly, I just really want it for myself, but I'm not sure if I can stick with it if it stays like this... she won't drink when they bleed too much *sigh* Does it really feel a lot better lately or does it always kind of hurt?

I asked my pediatrician about reflux, we got a same day appointment when she was not gaining weight. He said he doesn't think it's reflux after checking her out and that babies spit a lot. I still think it might be but what can I do? We try to keep her upright after feeds for a while... I will ask the ped again when she gets her first injections in a month.

About her teeth - our doctor said, when we were talking about how long to breastfeed, babies get teeth any time between 3 months (super early) and 12 months, most babies in the 6-9 months range. So based on that, I wouldn't be worried about her not having any at 8 months He also said the front incisors come first.

 

[Nita2806]

Fluffy, After the 6week BFing mark, it barely hurt anymore. Only when she went through growth spurts and she's on the boobie the whole day. But the worst was, I think the first 2 - 3 weeks. After that she could drink, and I wouldnt even feel anything. I agree, Formulas today are amazing, there is no reason to BF if its driving you mad. The formula Liezl is on, is probably the most expensive (not including soy milk) BUT it already contains a probiotic, and it helps with silent reflux. I am so happy, even if its so costly, with the formula. But to stop BFing is something you need to decide on and be satisfied with what you decided.

Perhaps you can get a second opinion on the reflux? And do you have a place nearby to weigh her? Just keep checking her weight, if she picks up a good amount then no need to worry. Babies spit a lot, no doubt, but there's a difference between a spit from a burp and a whole feeding coming up.

In my opinion, whether you BF or give formula, a baby with a full tummy is a happy baby.

I was never BF as a baby. I was in NICU and my mom gave formula from day 1 and honestly, there's nothing wrong with me (other than my BP being high, its not due to that)

The only reason I am worried about her teeth is because there are no signs of teeth...

 

[ttc126]

Fluffy! I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much! It’s so difficult when you have a traumatic delivery and little care afterward. That’s horrid about your midwife too. Being so unsupportive. Definitely talk to someone and make sure you’re caring for yourself during recovery. My oldest had a traumatic delivery (not c section) and he started on formula and then we used a nipple shield for FOUR months! And when he was ready he stopped using it just fine. Your dr is right as well...formula is so good these days and no one (including YOU) should make you feel bad or guilty or like you’re missing out.

Nita lol! I check every day too! My oldest got a tooth at 9 months and my second was 13 months. They both have healthy teeth ❤️

 

[Nita2806]

Lol ttc that dissapointment when you check to find nothing hahaha!! Everyone keeps on telling me how she should be teething about now, and I get so annoyed, like shes not teething so mind your own freaking business hahaha!

 

[Fluffycookie]

Lol ttc that dissapointment when you check to find nothing hahaha!! Everyone keeps on telling me how she should be teething about now, and I get so annoyed, like shes not teething so mind your own freaking business hahaha!

Everyone keeps on telling me what my baby should be doing as well, I have started completely ignoring it - or well, I'm trying X) So annoying, right?!
I'm looking forward to my boobs not hurting in 2-3 weeks time then, haha! My dad wasn't breastfed either, so I'm hoping that if it shouldn't work out for us, we'll be fine too (have some allergies in the family, so I'm a little more worried about taht).

The pediatrician gave us a prescription for a scale which we are renting for free from the pharmacy, so we can weigh her daily and honestly, I often weigh her multiple times a day because I get so worried. Keeping a *very* close eye on her weight gain for sure.


@TTC
Thank you! Four months and still weaned off them successfully? That gives me hope! We've been using them for about four weeks now, I'm trying without them today but I don't know if she's latching right *sigh* Need to have faith and patience but I worry so much.

 

[Nita2806]

Fluffy, its so annoying haha. I try and ignore it too, but some people are so persistant, like my mom, she would tell me to do something and If I dont, she will keep going until I do it. It never ends haha..

As long as your baby is fed fluffy and dont let anyone tell you what and how you shoukd do it, you are her mother, and you k ow whats best for her. And if BFing isnt working out, then it isnt, thats life. She wont hold it against you, she will be glad you cared enough to try and not give up on keeping her healthy. We did the same for Liezl, weighed her every single day, and still do. It sounds like you have it under control.

Keep us updated, and we will be happy to help you when we can

 

[Fluffycookie]

Nita, my mother is just the same! She gets upset when I don't take her advice and says I should believe her, she raised three children after all She will also keep suggesting whatever I reject on a daily basis.

The last two days I did every second feed without the shields, today I tried the whole day without it (still use them at night though, just too tired to try forever to latch her at 4 am!). It seemed to be going okay but now she has been crying for an hour straight *sigh* It's the worst when nothing calms her and then I'm tempted to just continually feed her so she's quiet, but if I do, she seems to get tummy aches after and it's worse.

 

[Nita2806]

Fluffy, to be honest with you something just doesnt seem right, and I am by no means an expert, but by this time you shouldnt have to use nipple shields and be in so much pain. Have you considered pumping and bottle feeding your breast milk?? Sorry, wish I had other advice, based on my experience and what I have heard, something doesnt sound right. I honestly think you shoukd have gotten more support after she was born.

How is the CS wound recovering?

 

[Fluffycookie]

Since the crappy midwife didn't help me at first, my nipples got *really* bad in the first week of feeding and I had to use the shields for them to heal after. That took three weeks, that's how bad they were. Combined with her weight gain issues and supplementing with formula, I've only now been able to try feeding without shields again, so I'm basically starting from zero. I've had a lactation consultant come in and I hope with her help, I will get away from the nipple shields! She said I could feed with them for months though if I needed to, so trying not to worry about it too much. I considered pumping (and was doing that for a while in the beginning when she was too weak to drink properly), but it's a lot more hassle than just feeding with nipple shields which has been going fairly well now I think. They are a bit of a hassle themselves with sterilising and you haveto take them everywhere, but less.

The wound has healed fairly well I'd say, just the scar now and obviously lack of core muscle to watch out for.

 

[Nita2806]

I fed with nipple shields as well, especially in those first 2-3 weeks when my nipples were bleeding and so sore. And I get what you say, they are a hassle, and honestly I didnt always sterilize them... maybe after 2 or 3 feeds, I soon gave up on those and luckily after that I could feed without them. I really hope you get the support you need now from the lactation consultant. Hopefully if her latch is correct you wont hurt anymore.


Glad the wound is healing well, I am almost 8 months PP and my scar still itches some times and I still get pins and needles sometimes, but the scar is almost gone now


Post some pictures of your little one, if you can.

 

[Fluffycookie]

Breastfeeding still isn't working well (cracked and sore nipples again now without the shields, even though the LC said she's latching right..) Hoping it will still get better as I've only been off the shields for 5 days now.

Can you ladies recap your feeding journeys for me? I'm looking for some honest stories rather than the "breastfeeding is so beautiful and easy" ones I keep reading online *sigh* Also, when did you all start solids? Here, most people say at 6+ months and then only a little, not fully until they are 12 months old. That seems like a terribly long time to me right now, I've barely made it to 7 weeks Am planning to bring it up at my next pediatrician appointment, she'll be 14 weeks old by then and I'm kinda hoping they'll say I can start when she is 4-5 months old X)

 

[Nita2806]

Fluffy, I jist want to say, if BFing isnt working, dont feel obligated to continue, there are alternatives!

We started solids at 3.5 months, the pead confirmed then that she is ready! But to be completely honest, you make her milk/feedings less until after 6 months. Liezl still got all her milk, and had some cereal in the morning and a few spoons of veggies. Only after 6 months we incresed her meals to 3 times a day and making her bottles less to 4 bottles a day, as they recomended.

 

[Fluffycookie]

I remember reading (it's all a bit foggy now ^^") you breastfed initially and then bottle fed - can you tell me a bit about that, too? If you don't mind me asking, why did you start giving Liezl solids if she still needs the full amount of milk until 6 months anyway? I thought solids replace some of the milk, little by little?

 

[Nita2806]

I breastfed and then a few weeks before she started school i gave some formule, the idea was to breastfed at night and formule during the day but after a few days she refused the breast, wanting the bottle only, about 2 or 3 days later my breastmilk dissapeared.

In the beginning you give very little bits of food, they play with it and spit it out, its not enough to replace any milk, its mostly to get them used to different tastes.

 

[rickyandlucy]

Fluffy, omg I can't believe what you and your little one have been through!!! So glad you are both ok!

As far as bf'ing, personally I don't know anyone who can say it was easy. I couldn't get my girl to latch without a nipple shield either at first. And then when I did it was so painful I had to go back to it occasionally just to get through. I don't use a nipple shield anymore, but I have been battling a new problem now for far too long; THRUSH. It makes bf'ing a totally new kind of painful. Totally feels like my little one has teeth already! While it doesn't even begin to compare to what you went through, you are right that those "beautiful" breastfeeding stories and not as common as we might think. I had some serious bleeding 1-2 weeks after Sofia was born. Like instantaneous pad soak and running down both legs. Doc couldn't find anything wrong, but did say my bloodwork showed signs of infection, and put me on an antibiotic to be safe. My suspicion is that the antibiotic made me more susceptible to the thrush. I have been on two rounds of a pill to try to kick it, have been using nystatin cream, and both little one and I have had a round each of nystatin oral solution. Still haven't kicked it. Going back to her pediatrician tomorrow, but not sure what it would take at this point.

Hope everyone else is doing well! Hang in there Fluffy! Missed you, glad to have you back!

 

[Fluffycookie]

@Nita
Thank you for sharing your bf story and that makes sense, I kinda just assumed they would eat the bits you give them straight away without needing to get used to it, haha

@Lucy
and thanks to you too! Right? Why do we always hear that it's so easy and natural, and then when you ask actual people, few had it "just happen"? (medical background) Yes antibiotics make you more susceptible to thrush - poor you! A different medication might well do the tritck, but you should also consider treating hubby too because it can be passed through all three of you if you're unlucky. Also check in with your gynecologist, they are often better at treating thrush than pediatricians. I've heard it's really painful, I hope you kick it soon!
awww, thank you, I've missed being here too!

I've started seeing a counsellor yesterday and the first session was pretty good I think - cried loads. My lactation consultant is coming again on Friday to check that the latch is better (and hopefully actually good now, pleasepleaseplease), the nipples have not been getting worse, possibly actually better now. Definitely bleeding less.

...and then my in-laws are coming from the UK this weekend. AHHHHHHHHHH X)