Clomid Virgin....Team Destined 4 Success!

[kka]

Well i am very depressed today. Temp went down. I've pretty much given up hope for this cycle. I m gonna try and get some blood taken and and u/s to see if there are even any follicles or not. Then take progesterone to bring on aunt flow.

 

[dreamofabean]

Sorry to hear that hun, but there is always a chance....see what happens tomorrow x

 

[Beanwood]

Ok girls i need your help. Don't laugh. How do i start a journal? Can't seem to figure out how to do it.

What a day someone who i work with suggested that the fact i don't ovulate might be telling me something about my body and that it is like menopause. i.e its not meant to be. Aggghhhhhhhhh she is actually really nice and i talk to her a lot so was quite shocked actually that she had said that.

I hope you guys are all ok. XXXXX

 

[hopefulchick]

Hey ladies

Well, woke up this morning with huge temp drop and AF arrived while at work today. Really, really bummed today Right now I just feel lost and am trying to deal with the fact that I am not going to conceive anytime soon

Reba- Sounds like you have some really great ideas! I was also interested in yoga. Where were you looking for dvd's?

kka- sorry about your temps. Really good idea to get bloods and get a new plan going!

bean- Sorry about those comments. She has no idea what she is talking about and I am sure she did not mean harm but sometimes people say the meanest things without thinking I was also thinking of starting a journal to help me vent along the way but I have no clue how to. I am sure one of the other ladies will be able to help you soon.

 

[RebaRezzelba]

Morning ladies,

Hopeful - so sorry the witch showed up. Its tough this TTC carry on - how do people carry on for so long.

I was looking on Amazon for the DVD - its £20 i think (its not crazy expensive but after buying a CBFM etc it all adds up). I might just try to do a bit of meditation or relaxation before DH comes along to DTD - see if it helps - worth a try I suppose - what harm!

Bean - what a silly cow for saying that to you - this woman has obviously never had any TTC problems has she - otherwise she would never of said something like that. And it doesnt mean that at all - it just means there's an imbalance somewhere and once thats corrected all will be well. Have you ever tried acupuncture? It really helped with my painful periods (but not with TTC) but it might be worth a shot for you.

On creating a Journal - all you do is go into the LTTTC section and then into the LTTTC Journals section and then just create a new Thread like you would when you ask a question etc. Just give it a name and then start typing!

CBFM update- asked me for another pee stick and gave me a low reading again - CD7 today - last clomid pill tonight then its and more

 

[hopefulchick]

I am in a lot of pain and passing large clots again. Sorry for the tmi but this is starting to concern me! I am going to contact my doc later when they open. But I hate what this pill does to my cycle!! I don't think I will take it anymore unless this doctor assures me that this is normal because I do not think it is.

I really think I have more issues than just not ovulating which is heartbreaking..

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh girls
Hopeful i am so sorry af arrived, what a blow. Sending you big hugs xxx
Bean that woman is just stupid, i hate patronising mean people!!
Love to everyone xx

 

[Beanwood]

Hopeful I am really feeling for you and sending you hugs and love.
I am so sorry af arrived. I know that there is nothing i can say to make you feel better but am here if you need to need to rant and rave about it all. It does really help to vent it all - or atleast it does me. You lot have helped me especially over the last few weeks and are here for you also sweetie. xx

 

[hopefulchick]

Hello ladies

Bean- Thanks. Did you start your journal yet? I might do mine today.

Dream- How are you doing hun? Hope all is well

Reba- Looking into ordering myself a cbfm. Maybe from ebay. How are you doing today? Maybe they have some less expensive yoga dvd's on ebay??

Rowan- Hope you are doing well. How are your eyes? Isn't your scan coming up soon. Fingers crossed for you

kka- Any new news about your cycle?? Good luck

Any new news from the other ladies???

Thanks for the kind words ladies. They really mean alot to me right now. It is just so difficult to carry on wondering what I could do this cycle that would make a difference. UUGGGGHHHHHH

Spoke to my doc and he stated that as long as the heaviness fades and does not continue that it is normal. Advised to take meds to ease the pain and try to get some extra rest for a couple of days and to call if the flow does not lighten up. Which I know it will because it always does by CD3 or CD4. It is just getting through CD2-3 that is so rough on me

He wants me to continue with the 100 mg but I don't know if I will. This is really taking a toll on me mentally and physically. But usually by CD5 AF is almost gone and I decide to take them. because what if this was my one chance and I just let it go?? Sounds crazy, I know

DH second sa results will arrive next week. I am sure they are still fine. I hopefully can get in for hsg next cycle, unless some odd, crazy, weird reason I end up pregnant before that (not likely) I might call today and see if there is any way possible to get in this cycle.

I am considering not taking Clomid before getting hsg but not sure yet. I am truly lost right now. It would be my 5th try with Clomid. I don't know what to do ladies

 

[dreamofabean]

Im ok thank you honey
I am just plodding really. We are seeing a private fs on 23rd nov and going to have a consultation, private sa and bloods for us both and also a scan for me. Then got nhs sa on 23rd dec and seeing their fs on 30th december.
Hopeful i hope you feel better soon hun xxx

 

[Rowan75]

hullo ladies

ah bless you hopeful - so frustrating! climid is such a catch 22 thing...when will you know about a hsg?

your dilemma reminded me of when I saw the works counsellor after my mmc and second month of climd when it had started afecting my eyes, her first question was "how far are you prepared to go in your quest to have a baby, what are you prepared to put yourself through when will you say enough?"

and I was totally dumbfounded...I went ghome and discussed with with DH and it was interesting to see that he was perhaps prepared to go further than I (although I was nowhere near the end of my tolerance at that point) - I suppose because he wouldnt be physcially taking the hits - if that makes sense. But it wasnt until someone asked me that bluntly that I actualy thought about it - what about you guys? I felt like she was saying give up and I really thoguht - no dont you tell me to give up Ill decide when enough is enough - do you know what I mean?

sorry - got off yrack there

my eyes are slightly improving thanks - am hoping they will continue! I havent seen any huge orbs for a week now and the flashing lights are starting to fade too! still see snow all the time and halos around everything and still am quite poor at reading and writing / typing but I can see that its improving! I cant wait to drive again!!

next scan on weds - starting to have sleepless nights worrying about it so fingers crossed! I think cos it was our 9 week scan we found out last time it had all gone wrong we're v nervous!

Bean big hug - people are so blunt! Ive had a couple of similar comments due to being over 35! It makes you think if only I could be so rude back!

fingers crossed and babydust for everyone xx

 

[Beanwood]

Hi all.

Rowan my eye sight is going funny. Its like am looking at things through another persons eyes. Does that make sense. Also i keep feeling faint. Am still bleeding after 2 weeks, but now there are bits coming out (sorry if tmi) The hopsital said to do a preg test to see if i still have any hormones and phone them back monday if i am still bleeding. Went and got test today, which was weird. Did it and was so glad to see a negative (even weirder). Will be thinking of you for wednesday.

Hoepful it is a really hard call, I can understand your thoughts. Maybe a month off the clomid would do you good, give you chance to get some other things checked such as hsg and dh sa that you are waiting on. Also you can then see what your next period is like (if you get one) without taking the clomid. I know its a hard decision and only you can make it, just a thought though. Hope its ok that i have said that. Oh and yeah may do journal today or tomorrow.

Hi everybody else hope you are all ok - or atleast as ok as you can be on this ttc madness.
XXXX

 

[hopefulchick]

Thanks ladies

I really appreciate your thoughts and advice and I am open to everything you ladies are suggesting. I look forward to hearing your perspectives especially since you ladies have also been there.

I am just an emotional wreck at the moment. DH comes in this morning and tells me that bil is expecting another baby. Now this would not normally upset me soooooo much but this is the third child he has had (by 3 different women) since we have been ttc. And to make matters worse, he only just met/moved in with this women about a month ago?!?!?!?

I just burst into tears when DH told me this and he knew I would be upset (probably wasn't expecting me to be as much as I was) but did not want me to find out another way. Honestly, I was shocked that I responded that way!! You would have thought someone died Thankfully, DH was super supportive a just held me and let me know it would be ok and we would get our turn soon enough.

I just do not know anymore and am so beyond lost. Considering talking to a counselor. I just do not know how I am going to get through the holidays with my current emotional state

Also, was considering making an appointment with a fertility specialist and just pay cash, I am getting that desperate!

Everything in me is telling me to take a break but I really do not want to give up an entire month! Am not getting hsg till next cycle.

Sorry for carrying on and thanks for listening.

 

[Beanwood]

Ohhhh Hopeful it sounds like you are having a really hard time. Don't feel bad about being upset at that news about your bil. It is soooooo hard to0 keep hearing that people around you are pregnant and you have to keep on smiling and pretending like everything is fine, when it is anything but fine. It is so hard to take a break from it, how do you stop trying when you know you might be ovulating or this could be the month. I have said I will give it a few months of periods before we try again. Who am i trying to convince - i will be after my dh as soon as my period is finished, which won't be at all obvious as we have not got cosy since i found out was pregnant and am now still bleeding.

How does it work over there with fertility specialists? Have you looked into it at all? Think you need feel like you are being proactive in all of this if you have a focus such as the hsg. Oh Honey feel like i am talking C**p to you. Sorry I really wish I had some major words of wisdom for you. Am sending you a big hug instead. XXXXXXX

 

[MrsGAnderson]

hopefulchick & beanwood for you both . . . i know what you mean about finding out everyone is pregnant, and it seems like evry advert on tele is about babies and pregnancy tests and baby christmas presents which i feel i will never get to buy. even though i know im being abit dramatic.
And you also seem to notice all the women with pregnant bellies too which makes it harder.. they tell you not to stress about it but how can we not when we are on a fertility drug and some are/some not being monitered... FX for us all.. i hope your ok xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Sending both hopeful and beanwood lots of love xxxx Hopeful i really dont know what to say honey, life is so unfair some times xxxx

 

[Beanwood]

Hi Dream

How you doing? Been popping onto your journal to see how you are doing. Might just start chatting to you there also if thats ok. XXXXXX

 

[Rowan75]

hey ladies

ah bless you Bean - its very wierd takign a test and hoping for a negative result!! I bled for around 3 weeks after I passed the poppet, but Im not sure how it works with a D&C - do they remove the womb lining? I had a scan after I passed the poppet and I still had 18mm of womb lining to pass at that point and thats what took the 3 weeks, will try and look at my chart for the month...I stopped bleeding for 19 days and then AF came (no ov in between) and that AF lasted 8 days but with a gap of 2 days in the middle and that was my first clomid cycle

Hope thats useful you may start to get raving horny in a week or so all my friends whove had mc were the same but no-one had talked about it until I brought it up typical me haha its a mad hoprmonal thing!

big hugs hopeful - its so hard to try and make a decision because each month is potentially your month and its hard to not try - its being between a rock and a hard place. Its really hard hearing about other people.

I have a good friend who bless her TTc for 10 years and she cut off all contact with her b+sil in the end as she couldnt bear how they just popped them out. So hard. Her and her DH had unexplained infertility and had IUI and IVF and it just didnt work for them. But they grew apart on a break from TTC and unbeknownst to eachother both had a one stand stand with someone else at Christmas works nights out and she fell bfp to the one night stand!!!! So it was mad - such a messed up horrible but happy situation - to be bfp and not by her DH it was such a head messer! Her daughter is just gorgeous and motherhood is everything she'd dreamed of but boy does she wish it could have been with her DH! Thers no moral to that story whatsoever other than - you just cant predict when your time will be I spose our children will find a way to come somehow

x

 

[mikamum]

5-11 days after your last pill

 

[RebaRezzelba]

Morning ladies,

Hopeful - sorry your feeling so down - I go through it every so often when I just cant see any light at the end of this TTC tunnel - our hormones must be all over the place on this clomid! Hope the AF has settled down too and no more clots. And totally understand about your BIL having a baby - why is it so easy for some and not for us - its heartbreaking getting news like that (when it should be great news to receive). Also maybe a month off the clomid until you have the HSG might be a good idea - i see by your sign today is CD5 so your due to start your next round - what have you decided to do? I know you feel like it might be a waste of a month but maybe the HSG will clear the tubes and then the clomid will works its magic!

Hope the rest of you ladies are doing okay?

AFM - im on CD10 today and I had a high yesterday (CD9) and today again on the CBFM so thats a good sign (at least I know its working for me - just need to get the peaks now).

I have booked in for a smear test this afternoon too which Im not looking forward too - you think after all the poking and prodding i've had since TTC that I'd be use to it by now - but oh no!

Other than that nothing to report - will start every other night now til i get my peak on the monitor!