STG, I guess I'm not sure if therapy is going to fix me. I will never get to know why God chose to take our baby back after we worked so hard to get him.. and I am just SO afraid that we won't get another chance. Everyone says, "Oh it happened once.. it will happen again. " My theory on that is that people win the lottery once, but not necessarily again. Just had a rough day yesterday .. like usual after AF shows. Part of me expected a Hallmark Channel Christmas miracle && everyone lives happily ever after.. The End! And I don't know where to ask for help sorting this out.. or whether reassurance from my doctor would help.
I'm just so sorry you are having to go through this.
I would say that therapy helps you manage things like this, helps you get the open wound down to a scar and manage that, rather than fixes it. Maybe a therapist might help you make some peace with the not knowing or help you work out some theories and make peace with not knowing for sure (I've found it helpful for my questions of "why did I get IF?" and "why did I get the vestibulitis cure only to have to do IVF anyway?" - at the very least it is a weight off my shoulders and cathartic to talk it out with a sympathetic pro). Just having someone you can talk to about any of your feelings can be helpful, I've found, even if there are no solutions available. They have therapists that specialize in IF, now, too. Or perhaps you could try a pastoral counselor (which is a member of the clergy who also offers counseling) or someone who specializes in counseling believers? (My first therapist worked with the church I attended and specialized in counseling the parishioners and other believers. I only stopped seeing her because I got better to the point of not needing counseling for a while, and she had moved her practice by the time I needed counseling again.) If you find the right therapist/counselor, it can help. But if nothing else, you have us here.
Meditation is a good thing to try, too.
One thing that has helped me with the fear of it not working out has been to tell myself that I can handle it, whether it works out or doesn't. Try taking a leap of faith with yourself, and do a daily mantra of "whatever happens, I can handle it" or something like that (not that you might not need help, sometimes, but getting help if you need it counts as handling it). Even if you don't believe it at first, eventually you will (say something for a long enough time and you will start to believe it - which can work for the good as well as the bad.) And I believe we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, so I believe it's true. Hope any of this helps!
PS: There are infertility grants out there. (https://www.resolve.org/family-buil...tility-treatment-grants-and-scholarships.html) It couldn't hurt to check them out and apply.
And Amelia gives good advice about finding a doc that can code stuff as not being fertility.
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FX'd,
Katrina and
BB!
Glad things are looking up for you and your DH,
Brittney! Glad you have a good feeling about your counseling appt. with your pastor - FX'd!
Morgan and
Brittney, I find God to be a good resource for help, as well. Even when I don't get the answers I want, I feel the touch of God and that helps.
Sorry AF is still being such a pain,
Amanda!
Sorry you and now DH got sick,
Nichole!
I hope you both feel better soon!
I've found that the benefit of not stressing over temps has outweighed my not liking not having the temp to confirm O, but that's me. I support whatever you decide.
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AFM: Yesterday I was still sick with labyrinthitis, bleh. I'm feeling much better today, but my sleep schedule is all messed up, so now I'm trying to get that back on track. I'm so sleepy, but need to try and stay up as long as possible, so I can be awake during business hours.
Yesterday, my Money Back IVF contract was received and signed, and will be sent out in the mail with notarized IVF consent forms on Sat., 12/14/13 (also got assurance from the IVF nurse today that even if those things got lost in the mail, my cycle would still proceed as scheduled - phew!
)
The nurse also assured me it was okay to wait and sign the consents at the clinic with them as the witnesses (no notary needed then) but since the notary is free at our credit union, we are going to just go ahead and send that out in the same envelope as the contracts, to have it done and off my mind, and the nurse said that was okay, too.
LOL, my girl cat is half on the back of my chair and half on my shoulder, purring and giving me love. And begging for food.
Sending all you ladies prayers and well wishes!
) to CD14. Then from CD15-20 we'd BD EVERYDAY (twice a day when I KNEW I was Oing) and then crossed our fingers from there. I don't understand why you'd skip a day in between (that is- if your lady bits aren't crying LOL.. that happened plenty, too!) if it meant increasing your chances. I always felt like okay if this egg lives a minimum of 12 HOURS.. I'm gonna BD my BUTT off to get it covered. It really depends on if your O date is regular. It's so much easier to have those 5 fertile days mapped out to BD in. Just avoid sex before and after those 5 days and it's not that big of a deal!
every day which why missing days upsets me this month 
