{CLOSED} All we want for Christmas is a BFP!!

[brunettebimbo]

I'm the same and I'm not like that. The MC has made me lose who I am. I've never been a bitter person but I am now Obviously not towards any of you girls.

 

[frsttimemama]

Thanks BB. I'm thankful I'm not alone. I wouldn't say I'm "bitter". It's just hard. I don't know really know the right word I guess.

I had the urge this afternoon to put away little guy's stuff.. funeral things, sympathy cards, baby shower cards.. needless to say I ended up crying til I was ready to throw up. I'm so pissed his whole little life fits in a filing box. It's not fair. We'll never understand it. I just felt like maybe God felt like we weren't ready because we still had it out in his room. I don't know. Hubby made it better though. I'm so thankful for him. He doesn't have answers either, but hugs and kisses and reassurance go a long way. Maybe I'll put together a shadow box for his quilt and tuft of hair and ring and bracelet that we have.. something. Tough, tough afternoon. I feel better now though.

We've had a lazy day. A friend came out and plowed our driveway. The roads suck so we're staying in. My favorite way to deal with snow I'm Pinteresting some healthy ideas. I'm trying to eat low carb and drink my green tea, eat my ground flax seed.. I took my clomid all gone like a good girl.. and I'm praying hard. Hope you all are having a good weekend!

 

[brunettebimbo]

I can't imagine how you feel. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon.

Sounds like your doing well on the healthy front. I'm starting again tomorrow. I've been so rubbish! What's your name on Pinterest? I'd like to follow your healthy board if that's ok?

 

[Cowgirl07]

BB-Yay for Oing!!

 

[NDTaber9211]

I feel bad I have been so MIA. I swear I am alive and thinking of you ladies. I'm getting over being sick and spending some quality time with DH. He's been working a lot lately so our relationship has been a bit strained. Trying to take this weekend to work on us.

I will catch up tomorrow and I swear I will be chatty cathy again soon.

 

[frsttimemama]

Nichole, totally don't blame you. Hubby comes first. Glad you're alive and well.

 

[Cowgirl07]

Nichole-Feel better soon! I don't blame you a bit have some fun with dh!

 

[brunettebimbo]

Nichole hope you feel better soon!

Managed to get another in tonight so hoping that if I did O we've covered our bases enough. Bit miffed that we didn't manage every day though!

 

[Cowgirl07]

BB-Your bd looks great!

 

[frsttimemama]

Agree. BB, I think your bases are well covered, even without every day.

 

[brunettebimbo]

I guess it's because the cycle I got my BFP was the only month we managed to BD each day!

 

[frsttimemama]

I understand. I know last time I got pregnant, we didn't BD everyday. We rarely do. 3-5 times per week I'd say.. unless I'm specifically aiming for every day.

 

[brunettebimbo]

It's been hard work with Hubby this month! I think he's feeling the pressure so finds it hard. Although one day was a waste. I spent too long before hopping on. I could have cried, infact I think I did!

 

[frsttimemama]

Maybe so. My hubby just doesn't wanna every.single.night. We never have except when I first moved in. Once we got into our little life routine, like I said 3-5 times a week. Not every.single.night. It kinda takes the fun out of it knowing that "we have to" again..

 

[frsttimemama]

Morgan, my MIL makes that white trash stuff you were talking about.. oh my gosh, it's DELISH!!! I love it!

I've spent lots of time googling today TRYING to find something, anything, else I can do to help myself.. and I've come up empty handed. There are probably 109,309,387,103,173,569 articles about "How To Get Pregnant FAST!" .. and they are, unfortunately, all the same. Lose weight if you're too heavy and gain weight if you're too skinny. Don't drink booze. Cut caffeine. Eat healthy. Take Clomid. Have lots of sex (every day? every other day? depends on the article). Don't stress. Exercise. Pray. Wait patiently. Don't smoke. Don't do drugs. Have I missed anything we don't all already know? Ugh. Oh well, I thought it couldn't hurt to try. Dr. Google let me down. Haha.

On a brighter note, today was relatively productive.. we did all of our Christmas cards today, I did laundry, and we put together 24 Christmas presents for the people who work for hubby. Lots more to do, but we opted to be lazy instead. Much needed.

 

[morganwhite7]

Thanks BB. I'm thankful I'm not alone. I wouldn't say I'm "bitter". It's just hard. I don't know really know the right word I guess.

I had the urge this afternoon to put away little guy's stuff.. funeral things, sympathy cards, baby shower cards.. needless to say I ended up crying til I was ready to throw up. I'm so pissed his whole little life fits in a filing box. It's not fair. We'll never understand it. I just felt like maybe God felt like we weren't ready because we still had it out in his room. I don't know. Hubby made it better though. I'm so thankful for him. He doesn't have answers either, but hugs and kisses and reassurance go a long way. Maybe I'll put together a shadow box for his quilt and tuft of hair and ring and bracelet that we have.. something. Tough, tough afternoon. I feel better though

I cried so much I almost got sick today too, took his little tree out and stood there for about an hour with hubby, my fingers frozen to the bone. Then I sat in the warm car and watched him stand out there talking to him a bit longer. Tore my heart apart, my precious first son, I'll never understand WHY either. I guess it is just something we'll learn to live with, but my goodness I know how much it makes your heart ache everyday. Sending love.. Oh and don't drive yourself Google crazy

 

[frsttimemama]

Love it Morgan! His place is beautiful. I agree. We'll learn to live with it. It will be better, but never easy. Hubby says we don't have to put it away, but I think I'm ready. It's just tough. It's never going to be easy to do.. but I just feel like it needs to happen. I feel like it's not closed enough to move on if that makes sense. I don't really know how to explain it. Maybe like.. God feels like we aren't ready if we can't even put away little guy's stuff. Does that make any sense??

 

[frsttimemama]

On a bright note, Hubby just booked us 3 nights in Gatlinburg for February. So excited! It will be nice for a vacay. Then we'll head somewhere else for a night and maybe somewhere else before heading home. Something fun to look forward to will be wonderful. Complete with a hot tub in the room and a fireplace in the room and a balcony with a river view.. now hopefully I'll be preggo and unable to use that hot tub

 

[brunettebimbo]

Sounds lovely

Temperature dipped today but after playing with FF I've found that if they rise even slightly the next 2 days I will get crosshairs. Boobs are slightly sore which only usually happens after O so FX!

 

[SmallTownGal]

Oh ok! I didn't know. How exciting, but I still hope for your miracle Christmas BFP!! I would LOVE to stay home.

Thanks for the well wishes! I'll be taking an hpt later this day. Should I use my last IC or a FRER, I wonder?

FX'd for your next cycle and hugs for the unintentionally hurtful MIL comment

----

Glad you had a fun Christmas party, BB! And yay for O/FX'd for O!

Hugs for the blah feeling, Katrina But Happy Anniversary!

Sandy and BB, regarding the struggle to feel happy for others getting PG, y'all know I've struggled with that and can feel you. Lately, I've been doing exposure therapy (purposefully exposing myself to pregnancy related images and stories so as to de-fang the sting by facing it and re-framing it) and that seems to have helped me.

Sandy for your hard afternoon. Glad your DH was able to help make things better, though. Praying for you

Sorry you've been sick, and hope you feel better soon, Nichole! And sorry you've been having a strained relationship with your DH Glad you are taking time to work on it and I hope things get back on track, soon! (We miss you, but try not to feel bad if you have to be MIA, cause you gotta take care of yourself. )

Hugs for you hard day, too, Morgan! (I love the little tree you got for him, it's adorable! I'm sure he's looking down from heaven and appreciating it.)

What you say about putting away the stuff makes sense, to me, Sandy. I don't think God has been keeping you from getting PG (maybe you don't need a miracle beyond the miracles already provided in nature, including the efforts of yourself and your DH and any doctors, and it will happen in time with those miracles that are already provided), but I do think God could be taking the opportunity to give you a message about needing closure.

And, ooh, Gatlinburg, nice!

--

AFM: Yesterday, I built a coat rack from Ikea, that was deceptively difficult to build - very unwieldy. But I conquered it, and now our coats and hats are hanging nicely. I'll take an accomplishment where I can get it.