{CLOSED} All we want for Christmas is a BFP!!

[SmallTownGal]

Thanks for the well wishes, ladies! Hope you all had a lovely Christmas (or at the very least made it through with your sanity intact)!

Sorry for the BFN, BB!

FX'd for O, Sandy!

Sorry you are having such a frustrating time with TTC, Brittney! Hope you get your cycles sorted soon!

Sorry this cycle is being weird for you and ttc is being so frustrating, Nichole! Hopefully you won't need to worry about IUI, but FX'd you are able to do it if you need to! FX'd for O!

IA with the others, Nichole, set up the IUI if you can back out if you don't need it.

AFM: I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, but optimistic, after my IVF education day.

Here's all the info from my IVF education day:
12/27/13: IVF education day class ; DH and I take antibiotics (2 azithromycin 500 mg, after supper) to clean out any bad bacteria that may be lurking; IVF nurse ordered all meds
12/28/13: went to the med supply website and applied for discount


12/30/13: call med supplier if they haven't already called, to find out about discount and get arrival date of meds (they will be mailed to us, along with the bill)
1/?/14: all meds arrive
1/6/14: u/s to check if ovaries are properly quieted (if so, move on to stims on Jan 9th, if not, one more week of bcp's)
1/9/14: hopefully start stims (Follistim 200 units, SQ, with pen and cartridge, every day within an hour of 8:00PM)
1/13/14: u/s to check on # of follicles and size; blood work - LH + estrogen (E2)
1/14/14: hopefully start GnRH antagonist (Ganirelix 250 mcg, SQ, with prefilled syringe, every day right after taking Follistim)
1/?/14: u/s to check on follicles; blood work
1/19:14: hopefully take trigger shot (Ovidrel 250 mcg, SQ, with prefilled syringe, time TBA)
1/21/14: hopefully have ER (egg retrieval) and learn how many eggs retrieved
1/22/14: hopefully learn how many eggs fertilized and start progesterone injections (Progesterone in cottonseed oil ? cc, IM, drawn up with a syringe from a vial, every day within an hour of 8:00PM, because I'm allergic to the some of the stuff in the vaginal suppositories)
1/24/14: hopefully learn how many embryos made it to day 3 and how they are doing
1/26/14: hopefully learn how many embryos made it to day 5 and have ET (embryo transfer) and have some 5 day blasts frozen for later
2/4/14: hopefully have blood drawn for 1st beta

If my cycle goes smoothly, this should be my schedule. The little needles for the SQ shots don't bother me, but, alas, the progesterone shots are given with a big long needle, and I'll be taking them for 8 weeks if PG (2 weeks if not). They have progesterone vaginal suppositories available, but I can't do them because I'm allergic/sensitive to some of the ingredients in the suppositories, so I have to do the shots, otherwise I'd get a massively inflamed hooha.

 

[Disneybaby26]

STG- that is SO exciting!!! hoping and praying for you and DH! Your positivity, determination and strength is so admirable. I so hope this is it for you!!

 

[frsttimemama]

FX BB. Looks similar!

Nichole, totally get it. OPK's aren't getting any darker for me. I had a darker one and now they are lighter again. Nothing definitely positive. I'm in the same boat. It's beyond frustrating. I'm over it. I'm sick of TTC. Ugh.

STG, YAYYYY!! Super exciting. All the hoops will be worth it. Praying for you and a BFP first time around!

AFM, like I said earlier.. no positive OPK. Had a darker one yesterday and they are all lighter again.. just BD'ing and waiting. Ugh.

 

[Cowgirl07]

Stg that is so exciting.
I hate opks too. So I don't use them often. We are going to a wedding this afternoon and I can't find my flats.

 

[frsttimemama]

Katrina, I couldn't find mine last time I needed them either. I still haven't. Ugh!

And frustrating TMI moment of the day.. hubby wanted to BD when he woke up so we did. I ran and put a softcup in.. and ut wasn't right so I lost a lot of the goods. I hope there are some left! Ugh!

 

[Cowgirl07]

I want to stop at my parents and borrow my mom's but we are on a time crunch.

 

[NDTaber9211]

Ugh yup -opk like I thought. I just don't freaking get it. I always ovulate by now unless it's anovulatory.

 

[frsttimemama]

Maybe it's just a little later. Don't give up!

 

[NDTaber9211]

The worst part is feeling broken. Feeling like it's all your fault that you don't have a baby yet. It hurts your soul feeling this way.

 

[frsttimemama]

I totally understand that feeling. I am there with you. And I know having a baby is the only way to fix it. It is an awful feeling. We just have to keep trying. Somehow, some way, we will get there.

 

[goldstns]

Stg...how exciting to start the adventure!

 

[brunettebimbo]

STG I posted in your journal, how exciting!

Nichole and Sandy

 

[SmallTownGal]

STG- that is SO exciting!!! hoping and praying for you and DH! Your positivity, determination and strength is so admirable. I so hope this is it for you!!

Thanks, Kara!

STG, YAYYYY!! Super exciting. All the hoops will be worth it. Praying for you and a BFP first time around!

AFM, like I said earlier.. no positive OPK. Had a darker one yesterday and they are all lighter again.. just BD'ing and waiting. Ugh.

Thanks, Sandy!

I hope you O soon! Darn O, being stubborn!

Stg that is so exciting.
I hate opks too. So I don't use them often. We are going to a wedding this afternoon and I can't find my flats.

Thanks, Katrina

Hope you find your flats. I can't stand to wear heels for long, so most of my dress shoes are flats.

---

Sorry O is still being stubborn for you too, Nichole! Hope it gets here soon!

The worst part is feeling broken. Feeling like it's all your fault that you don't have a baby yet. It hurts your soul feeling this way.

I feel you, there. Of course, there are things out of our control, so it's not really our fault, even though it feels that way. Not that being simply unlucky is much better (the guilt is eliminated, but is replaced by the anger at the unfairness of it all, so it's more of a lateral move). :/ IF is just hard on the heart no matter how you slice it.

---

Thanks Nikki and BB!

 

[frsttimemama]

STG, I can't even imagine how excited you and hubby must be! I can't wait for your BFP. you so deserve it.

Is anyone testing tet this month?

 

[SmallTownGal]

Aw, thanks, Sandy! I think I'm both nervous and excited...it's a fine line between the two.

 

[Cowgirl07]

I might be depends on my mood. I am not feeling hopeful.

 

[brunettebimbo]

AF arrived meaning I have a luteal defect if my O date is right Gutted is an understatement! Stupid stupid body!!!!

 

[frsttimemama]

STG, I can only imagine! So many things in life are such a fine line that way. Prayers for you and Hubby as you embark on this journey. I am sure it is both exciting and scary. I'm so thankful that science has figured out how to do this. I had a friend who did IVF, and they have an absolutely beautiful daughter. Everything went off without a hitch the first time (I believe, possibly second!). I am so hopeful that it will work for you on your first try.

FX Katrina!! Your chart looks good. Did you find your flats? How was the wedding?

BB, I would try not to get too upset (I know, funny, right?) about things being a little off this cycle. Sometimes it can take a little bit for of time the body to regulate itself. Maybe it still needed a little time to heal in some way and just wasn't quite ready yet. I am SURE it will happen for you, and SOON! (I KNOW that's one of the last things you want to hear right now.. you just want to get pregnant again.) I'm so sorry. I can relate to how hard it is and how much you feel like another baby will help heal this wound. For me, that was my biggest fear after the anesthesia wore off and I could figure out what was going on. Hubby and I decided that night in the hospital as he held my hand and slept in the chair next to my bed after we talked and cried until 3 am that we definitely wanted to try again, to get back on the horse so to speak, and since I had such a difficult time getting pregnant the first time, terrified doesn't even begin to touch it. I am still absolutely terrified every single day that I will never get another chance. And that won't go away until I get a BFP, live through 9 months of pregnancy again, and FINALLY hold a healthy baby in my arms. Praying for you and your hubby during this difficult time. I know I personally have spent a lot more time talking to God, even if sometimes it's just to ask Him why. Sometimes I just ask Him to give me a sign that things will be okay, and He has. I'm so sorry I have rambled on and on. The long and short of this is that while I don't know exactly how you are feeling right now, and nobody does, I can relate. You're not alone. Your body may just need a little more time. Everything will be okay. I'm really sorry to say that to you, because I totally get that it is the absolute last thing you want to hear. You just want to be pregnant RIGHT NOW. Here's to praying that 2014 is a new year, a new start for all of us, and we'll all get our January BFP's!!

AFM, I woke up at 4:45 am on Sunday. Ugh. Not so excited. I'm thinking I'm going to go back to bed and snuggle with our dog and my hubby, even if I lay there in the dark for awhile. It's easy to think about how fortunate I am at times like that, even though I would give almost anything to change things and be a momma. I work so hard not to be jealous of others, especially those who, by my judgment (which I know it's wrong to judge, and I *TRY* not to..) don't deserve to have 23 children. I was really missing our little man last night. Hubby often reminds me that God gave us this situation because He knows we are strong enough to handle it, and that maybe someone else wouldn't have been.. that because we have suffered through this, someone else won't have to because our doctor is now aware of it and looks for it, even though it's only a 1% chance that it could happen and a 99% chance that it won't. Sometimes that's more helpful than others. I can't say that I really "feel sorry for myself" most of the time. It's more of just "I miss him and wish he was here. He should be here. Our life shouldn't be like this. It should be different. I don't understand why us." And we'll never understand. I hope Heaven is real like I feel like it is so we can see our little guy again and get to know him and spend time with him. Hubby got me a locket for Christmas that I can put pictures in so that he's always close to my heart. (We were crying Christmas morning, to say the least..) My hubby is so thoughtful like that. I have so much to be thankful for, including him and that he is thoughtful. I can't imagine if I had been married to someone else and didn't have him as my rock and my other half. I just want to give him a baby, a family. I'm so sorry for rambling this morning. It just keeps coming.. lol. I just wish I would O already! I'm starting to get nervous.

 

[brunettebimbo]

Thank you Sandy. I don't know how I feel right now. Angry? Sad? Bitter? I am not a believer in God so that's not something I can turn to. My husband and Tristan are my rock, without them this would be so much harder.

I can't even begin to imagine how much harder this must be for you. I hope we both get our sticky BFPs soon.

 

[morganwhite7]

Katrina- that chart looks great!

Sandy- I'm up too early too, 2 hours til church and I'm snuggling with my pup while hubby snores away beside us lol.

STG- so awesome to have your schedule already! I hope you have a Valentine's bean! Seems so possible on the first try since it's already fertilized and whatnot.. You've go to keep us updated, so interesting!

BB- Sorry about AF, but maybe next cycle will be more regular and reliable. Sending love, don't let it get you down!