{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[KTJ006]

I just wanted to say Thank you to all the ladies on here, I finally started the process, On friday night I literally felt like I was in labor, Im supposed to have an ultrasound done tomorrow but I think Ill call and cancel since it was a follow up appointment from last week when they had found a slow heartbeat, but like I said in my first post, I knew in my heart of hearts that the baby wasnt going to make it. In a way this has been an answered prayer (not the MC itself) because we prayed I would miscarry everything naturally and not have to have a D&C and I really feel like my body is getting everything out on its own if that makes sense-My DH and I have decided we are going to TTC as soon as Im done, if its Gods will for us to get pregnant right away, we will, if not, thats ok too-Im so glad to be a part of this group and hope to get to know you all a little better in the upcoming weeks/months

Welcome back JLW! Keeping you in my thoughts as you go through this. Hug your kiddos a bit tighter - they will be a huge help getting you through this bump in the road. And TTC when you feel ready! You know your body the best. Keep us posted how things are going

 

[seaoftwilight]

I want to be a buddy! I'm still waitkng for AF 8 weeks after D&C, but the doctor said my levels are fine and I'll get my period on my own soon. I can wait! DH insists on waiting until AF to TTC again. I think I might have ovulated alr day because my cervix was open and I had stringy cm (sorry tmi) for a few days and now my breasts are sorr. Come on AF! I'm disappointed because I wanted to have a summer baby and get a Christmas bfp but my hormones took forever to balance out.

 

[jlw617]

Tcinks-thank you, I just needed to have a few days so that I could think straight if you know what I mean! Yes I actually have my dr appointment today that I thought they'd want me to cancel but they said "nope, come on in and we will make sure everything has passed" which I thought was weird since I'm still bleeding but I think they're referring to the baby and sacs? I know you had so many complications so I'm going to play it safe and do what the dr says for the most part, I don't plan on teller her that we are going to ttc when I'm done miscarrying, I feel like that would have a greater chance of making things awkward if I go against Her instructions vs coming in and saying "oops I'm pregnant" lol (if we get pregnant right away) I hope you are doing well.

KTJ006-thank you for the kind words, one of the many things that have been a light through this dark time has been my family and definitely my 2 girls-They have been so sweet to me and have been praying for " mommy to feel better" we told them the baby is in heaven but daddy told them "mommy's body is kind of sick right now" so we don't scare them of course, I have been truly blessed throughout this trial. I hope to get to know you and the other ladies on this board better!

 

[jlw617]

I want to be a buddy! I'm still waitkng for AF 8 weeks after D&C, but the doctor said my levels are fine and I'll get my period on my own soon. I can wait! DH insists on waiting until AF to TTC again. I think I might have ovulated alr day because my cervix was open and I had stringy cm (sorry tmi) for a few days and now my breasts are sorr. Come on AF! I'm disappointed because I wanted to have a summer baby and get a Christmas bfp but my hormones took forever to balance out.

Sounds like you might get AF soon! Though I know hormones can be wacky for a while but if you have sore breasts (always a symptom for me too) and it being 8 weeks, I'm sure you'll get it soon! Keep us updated, I'm still waiting to be done with my mc but I'm praying that if I don't get pregnant right away that I'll get AF soon after, I so wanted a summer baby too but if I get bfp soon enough then it could be a late summer baby for me since I seem to go early with my babies.

 

[jlw617]

KTJ006-I love your avatar lol! We love peppa pig in this house-sometimes I really think I like the show better than my girls lol! After my dh had seen it and how peppa says "daddy" he fell in love too

 

[tcinks]

I want to be a buddy! I'm still waitkng for AF 8 weeks after D&C, but the doctor said my levels are fine and I'll get my period on my own soon. I can wait! DH insists on waiting until AF to TTC again. I think I might have ovulated alr day because my cervix was open and I had stringy cm (sorry tmi) for a few days and now my breasts are sorr. Come on AF! I'm disappointed because I wanted to have a summer baby and get a Christmas bfp but my hormones took forever to balance out.

Welcome to the group! Sorry you have to be here though.

My recovery has been taking a while too. Has your bleeding stopped? Hopefully you have ovulated and well be able to start ttc again soon I am also hoping for a bfp by Christmas, but not sure how realistic it is. I have either started af (which would be good) or am still bleeding from my miscarriage 7 weeks ago. If that's the case, I'm not sure when it'll end!

 

[tcinks]

Tcinks-thank you, I just needed to have a few days so that I could think straight if you know what I mean! Yes I actually have my dr appointment today that I thought they'd want me to cancel but they said "nope, come on in and we will make sure everything has passed" which I thought was weird since I'm still bleeding but I think they're referring to the baby and sacs? I know you had so many complications so I'm going to play it safe and do what the dr says for the most part, I don't plan on teller her that we are going to ttc when I'm done miscarrying, I feel like that would have a greater chance of making things awkward if I go against Her instructions vs coming in and saying "oops I'm pregnant" lol (if we get pregnant right away) I hope you are doing well

Have you had the appointment yet? How'd it go?

 

[Fleur828815]

It's so heartbreaking to read everyone's stories, I really hope 2015 will be much more positive. Sorry I'm not replying to everyone individually, just jumping in again.

I'm glad that some of you have been taken care of so thoughtfully during your procedures and that you've got nice ways to remember your babies.

tcinks, did your bleeding never stop since your miscarriage? Can you see a doctor? Hope it's your AF, otherwise 7 weeks is rather long to still be bleeding.

You read so many things online though, never know what to believe. I read you had to stop bleeding for 20 days to consider renewed bleeding as first AF after miscarriage, but I didn't have 20 days between bleeding, and still got a faint BFP just 2 weeks before AF showed up.

Lots of hugs and warm thoughts for all of you.

 

[tcinks]

I just talked to the nurse at my doctor's office and she said it's definitely possible to get AF without stopping bleeding for 4 weeks. So I'm operating under the assumption that this is AF. But if it doesn't taper off by Wednesday, she wants me to come in to see if there is something else going on.

 

[coucou11]

Hi all! Yes I am jumping in too after the weekend, missed out on a bunch but have caught up now. Probably won't reply to everyone but I'll be more present this week as I'm at work in front of a computer all day (looking for distractions, haha).

Terrissa I have got to believe this is AF for you - it just feels like even if there was bleeding for that long, your body is still moving forward, hcg levels are falling, etc, so things are happening there. I bet AF would still come, and hopefully this will close out the bleeding for good! Also, what a beautiful tree!!

KTJ congrats on ovulating! That's amazing!! I hope it works out this month for you, will give all of us hope Also for skincare I use cetaphil as cleanser, but for products I use a brand called Caudalie, it's gentle and from France so doesn't have a lot of additives etc. I love it!

Hannah my temps are all of the place too, it's a mess. Much higher than normal for me pre-O. Oh well.

Kylee great news about your O too! Hooray! Love to see progress here

Leslie I really like your BD approach, it is super annoying to try and time it around ovulation, makes things seem very clinical. Of course I do it anyway, haha. But I might try some new secudtion methods even when I'm not fertile just to makes things less calculated.

jlw I'm so sorry you are going through this right now, good luck and I agree, hug your little girls tight. What a great support network you have, I'm happy that your family is there for you.

seaoftwilight, sorry about your loss, good luck this cycle! I hope AF comes soon!

Hugs to you too Fleur.

Here's my hpt test from FMU this morning - no squinters in sight! It's a relief to me. But my bleeding has actually increase a little today, ugh. I actually just spoke to my doctor and told her the whole pattern of bleeding this past week, and she wants me to take Methergine for a couple days and see if that helps. I looked it up, seems like a lighter version of cytotec or something to just get the last of things out. I should have asked her what this means in terms of how my uterus is doing (i.e. does this mean good lining is left, or could it be some remaining tissue, or some other problem entirely)... but I forgot. Maybe when I call her in a few days to report again.

So that's it for me, talk to you all soon!

 

[tcinks]

Welcome back Leigh! From what I've been told and what I've read, if you're not feeling chills/fever, having a bad smell coming from it, or any other thing out of the ordinary, there probably isn't anything wrong. Just normal, annoying bleeding. Of course, it is your body repairing itself, so it's good. But still annoying. Haha. And with a negative test, I wouldn't be too concerned. But just keep monitoring it. Other than that, how was your weekend?

 

[jlw617]

Tcinks, yes I had my appointment, Ive passed everything as I suspected minus a little "debris" Im sure just a little lining...The dr is confident that I will pass everything on my own though so now I just wait until Im pregnant again!

 

[tcinks]

That's great news!!

 

[coucou11]

That's great jlw! Glad that everything is moving forward.

Terrissa, thanks! My weekend was great, actually. We took our daughter to Disneyland yesterday and she was in heaven. She is almost three, and just loved it. We got to meet Anna and Elsa of course and that was the highlight. She also seemed to like the Dumbo ride and the boat rides. All of Thanksgiving was nice actually, pretty restful. Too much food and wine, of course! But that's to be expected.

I'm wondering, actually, how did everyone's friends react to their losses? I had told a bunch of people, and so we had to go around and tell everyone about it, which was sucky. Most people of course were very supportive, and some of my friends were great. But one friend who I work with, I actually haven't spoken to since it happened. We have exchanged a few emails, and she always says she is "thinking about me". But I keep wondering, why doesn't she call and ask me how I'm doing? Why doesn't she reach out? Why doesn't she come by my office, ask me for coffee, whatever? Is it my responsibility to reach out to her, like some sort of signal I am ready to talk? That feels wrong to me but maybe I am overthinking it...

 

[tcinks]

Leigh, I think sadly it's just that they don't know what to say or do. I have had a few close friends reach out, but most haven't. And much of my family hasn't either. Nobody wants to talk about it. They would say "oh I'm so sorry, let me know if you need anything" but that's about it. Most wouldn't bring it up again or ask how I'm doing. If I brought it up they'd just get quiet or change the subject. It's pretty discouraging. But I don't know what I would do ifi had never gone through a miscarriage and had a friend going through it....Maybe I would have been the same, I don't know. luckily I have some who have been incredibly supportive, and they are ones who have gone through it themselves. I think people just don't talk about it enough, like it's this dirty secret just to be whispered about.

 

[kdmalk]

I had typed out this whole message... and I somehow managed to erase it with one button. ARGH! Let's try this again.

I can hardly keep up with you guys anymore!!! We also put up Christmas stuff this weekend. DH is allergic to real trees, so we stick with fake. Doesn't bother me because I always had big, giant fake trees growing up. Now that we are poor adults (I am being dramatic), we just have our teeny 6-foot-but-really-more-like-5-feet-with-one-tall-branch-pointing-straight-up-12-inches-on-the-very-top-so-we-can-sell-it-as-a-6-foot-tree... tree ($20 on sale at your local Big Lots ). We went with silver and gold this year. It is cute. I'll post a picture tomorrow!

I had a busy morning at work and then had to leave two hours early to... *begin humming Jaws theme in your head* ...go get my tags renewed at the DMV (THE HORROR!). This is made so much worse by the fact that I work in a different county than I pay my taxes and register my car... so it requires me to make the 45 minute drive from work to go to the DMV. So, after this expedition, I have earned myself.... an evening of working at home because I left work at 2:30. Sigh. I complain, but I am so grateful for my job and my boss.

Hope everyone is doing well. So sorry I don't have time to respond to everyone. I will check back tomorrow!

 

[jlw617]

Coucou11-I wouldn't think too much into it regarding the one friend who hasn't really reached out to you-I had very supportive family and friends, but I also had 1 friend who I've known for about 14 years and she has literally said nothing, but this is the same friend who when I had my first mc 9 years ago-which was also my first pregnancy responded "well you can always get pregnant again" I just think some people just don't know what to say.

 

[NDH]

Hcg is down to 91 (from 845 last week 4 dpmc) I asked about hcg on the day but it either isn't on file it wasn't done at emergency. One more test next week. Hopefully its negative cause if I have to go for a 4th I don't want it to pick up a new pregnancy and have them pressure me into scams or further testing etc...

 

[KTJ006]

JLW - we are a little obsessed with Peppa Pig in this house. I think it is a tad bit inappropriate at times, though. I have heard them use the word "stupid" at times which made my mouth hit the floor...haha. It is cute though. Keeping my fingers crossed you pass the remainder of things.

Tcinks- Here's hoping you have AF!! Glad your doc seems to be following your progress and wanting you to come in if things seem off. We pulled all the decorations out of the attic today and my 4 year old and I decorated our tree!

Coucou - good luck with the Methergine. I was on heavy doses of cytotec when I got sick from my D&C. It actually wasn't bad at all so here's hoping the Methergine treats you ok!

Hope everyone else is doing well today!!

 

[KTJ006]

And I agree with what everyone has said about the friends/family not saying much about a miscarriage. I really think people don't know what to say. For me personally, I would rather people say something and acknowledge it versus not say anything at all. It makes me think they really don't care about what you're going through. I have a handful of close friends who were so good to me going through all this - they visited me at the hospital, would call/text to check in, brought dinner a few times, etc. They didn't necessarily have to always ask how I was doing, but just being there meant the world. The hospital I was at also has a few programs where a nurse calls you after a few weeks to check up on you. I had one nurse call me 3 times just to check in, say a prayer over the phone, and just chat. It was good knowing someone else was there and I wasn't going through it alone. Having been through this several times, I try to go out of my way to do the same when I know someone going through something similar. I think society doesn't talk about this stuff enough. Whether we carried and lost at 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 18 weeks, 28 weeks or 38 weeks, it was still a life inside of us and deserves to be celebrated and mourned. I'll get off my soapbox now. This is all near and dear to my heart. I would love to get involved with a non profit to help mom's going through something similar.

Oh, Kdmalk - your DMV sounds like my DMV!!! I think they are all horrible and make you wait a million years. Glad your boss is understanding - that always makes the workplace easier! Hope you get things done quickly so you can relax tonight!!