{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[tcinks]

I just about had a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store.

I called my doctor's office to let her know the bleeding basically stopped and asked about trying again. (I intended to anyway, but DH wanted permission.) Anyway the nurse says I need to wait two full cylces. :0 She said she'd set me up an appointment for January to make sure everything is okay in my uterus and we'd go from there. I just stood there shaking. My doctor clearly said when I talked to her that there was no need to wait, she only wanted to wait for my hcg to go down...and THAT was just to not get confused when it rises again for the new pregnancy! NOW they are saying two cycles?! I've been waiting two months already, and just when I finally thought we were going to start ttc again, this. I asked her why and she said "that's just what we recommend". I asked what if we do get pregnant? And she said "well we recommend you don't try. That's our policy, wait two cycles" Oh and I'm spotting again. :/ It's dark red/brown so I know it's old blood, but still annoying! Ugh . I just want things to go my way. The nurse said she'd talk to the doctor again and call me back.

Sorry for the whining, I know some women wait much longer for their babies. I just have been on this emotional roller coaster for 8 weeks and it seems to be never-ending. I should never have gotten my hopes up about any of this.

 

[NDH]

Terrissa yay for dtd and no bleeding!

Jamie good news about your bleeding not coming back either. What a funny dream. I remember a pregnancy test dream before I conceived my angel too where everything i looked had pink lines show up. And during my pregnancy with #2 (who was breech the whole time) I had a dream where it was twins and they til them out of meearly and when it was time for them to be born put them back in - but they put one in me and one in DH. I was in labour for three days and dh didn't see me at all until mine wad born cause he thought I'd be jealous his labour was only am hour

Fleur I'm so sorry about how your friend is acting

Kylee I am so jot a meal planner. Id like to be and have done it for a couple months in the past - it made my life so much easier - but I wouldn't keep the habit. I was just looking for some vegetarian freezer meals since my vegetarian repertoire is pathetic and ly friend is vegetarian and wheat free, and game up with some Yummy sounding things to try.

 

[NDH]

Oh Terrissa

Honestly I would just go for it anyway. I did a lot of researching about reasons to wait after mine and it seems completely arbitrary whether they say don't wait, or wait 1, 2 or 3 cycles. I would wait if I had a molar pregnancy or a loss past half way or if I'd had an infection or if I emotionally didn't feel ready. But ly pregnancies and births have taught me that very few drs actually practice evidence based care and things become polity for no good reason or because they benefit the Dr and aren't in the mom or baby's best interest and those policies are hard to change even with research pointing to the contrary slapping them in the face. So I do my own research and determine what I think is best for me every step of the way. I live in my own body 24/7 and know it better than a Dr who sees me for 15 minutes once a month. And I'm the one who has to live with consequences.

 

[coucou11]

Terrissa I am so frustrated for you! I agree with Natalie - just go for it. It does seem completely arbitrary what doctors recommend - anywhere from 0 to 6 months. If your doctor told you it was ok, I would go with that. Nurses can be clueless as well. Also I bet the little extra bleeding is just from dtd last night.

I'm super hopeful all that stuff about being more fertile is true I can't wait to start trying again! Just want to hurry up and ovulate this cycle, if that is going to happen... Would love to see that my body is doing something semi normal again.

Fleur what a bummer about your friend, I'm sorry!

Natalie that dream about the twins in hilarious. Can you imagine if men went through labor? What a different world it would be.

 

[tcinks]

Thanks ladies That's the way I feel too, but no way DH will go for it if the doctor is saying no.

And yes Natalie that is a hilarious dream! Haha. I had a couple of baby dreams around the time I conceived, but nothing too vivid.

 

[NDH]

Hcg down to 25. Midwife insists I need another test next week even though I told her I'm satisfied because the "miscarriage isn't complete until your hcg is 0 and we have to follow you until then". I really hate arbitrary policy if you haven't been able to tell yet I'm satisfied its going down within acceptable ranges. I'm not going to do anything about it if it suddenly stops going down, and it can't go back up unless I get pregnant again so I'm just not going next week and won't return their call if they call to say "hey where's your bloodwork?" I never used to be such a rebel but I just can't stand professionals who think they can dictate what I *have* to do with my body instead if recommendations.

 

[jlw617]

Ha ha Natalie that is a hilarious dream!

Terrissa-I am so sorry that you are going through all of that, honestly with everything that you said it sounds like your doctor isn't all that great and I would seriously recommend possibly trying to find a new OB if that is an option and just tell your DH that there is so much information that says you guys should be totally fine to start TTC and that you feel like maybe a second opinion would be a good idea, who knows maybe you could get a consult with a new OB and they would tell you it's their opinion for you to start TTC right away I hope you feel better honey!

 

[coucou11]

Terrissa - could also be worth telling your hubby that you actually have several other doctors telling you otherwise - e.g. my doctor who says one cycle! And others on this board whose doctors say no cycles! I know it probably won't convince him but I can tell you for sure that nothing my doctor said had anything to do with me personally or anything specific to me - it was just a standard, wait one cycle thing.

Good luck!

Natalie I love that you are such a rebel, it's awesome

 

[jlw617]

Natalie-you have every right-I seriously love my OB! She said I was good to go, no blood tests to monitor or anything after she confirmed the baby had been passed, she is confident in what our bodies are capable of, I guess some Drs just like to error on the side of caution but sometimes it's just plain obnoxious because you're right, it turns into them trying to dictate our lives and sometimes gos even further to where I've heard plenty of times where a dr will insult a patient for not taking their advice-my phosphate is they are people too and have opinions just like we do, including of course what's considered medically necessary vs what's not.

 

[jlw617]

Haha auto correct is hilarious! Meant to say my philosophy not my phosphate haha!

 

[KTJ006]

Terrissa: I'm sorry honey It is frustrating. First, I would see how tomorrow pans out with the bleeding. The blood might just be from DTD and not be a big deal at all. Second, go with what your gut tells you. It's a bit swirly that you are getting two different sets of advice from the same practice: one from a nurse and one from your doctor. It sounds like they definitely aren't on the same page which would make me lose confidence in them. You might want to seek out getting another opinion, or asking to speak to your doctor directly if he/she is someone you trust.

Natalie: hilarious dream. I wonder what that means?! There is a girl at my old work that used to read dreams. I would come to her with all my swirly dreams and she would "translate" them for me. I'm sure you could find something on the internet.

HELLO to everyone else! We have company in town so I haven't had a chance to spend a lot of time on this board. Hope to catch up tomorrow!

 

[tcinks]

Thanks Katie. I am waiting to hear back from the doctor tomorrow, but I do think I will seek a second opinion. I actually have an appointment set up next week at a different office ( I made it a couple weeks after my miscarriage before I found my current obgyn) . I didn't have a doctor before I got pregnant, the one I have now I just met October 31. So I really wouldn't feel bad leaving if it comes to that. My husband got home and I talked to him and I'm feeling a bit better. He agrees abut getting a second opinion. I'm trying not to obsess about all this but it's so hard not to.

Katie that's fun to have company visiting. And Friday you get to test!!! So excited for you. How are you feeling?

Natalie, great that your hcg is going down and that you are doing what feels right to you. mine is at 4 and my doctor wants me to go back until its 2...But I'm not going to. Take that! Haha. I'm not quite as rebellious as you, and my husband's a strict rule follower like Kylee

It definitely helps to talk things out with others. Thanks for all your support, ladies!

 

[NDH]

Lol at phosphate so often it seems like they don't even know the reasoning behind the policies either. its just so everyone receives the same standard of care. but I'd rather receive individual care specific to my situation. having had both, standardized care is so sub par.

Anyway in the last two years I've learned I can be a rule breaker without being a law breaker, which I would never do. And of course neither do I break rules that are a matter of safety for myself or others, it a matter if common courtesy. But when they affect me personally I will always research, pray about them and do what I feel is best for me

 

[KTJ006]

Thanks Katie. I am waiting to hear back from the doctor tomorrow, but I do think I will seek a second opinion. I actually have an appointment set up next week at a different office ( I made it a couple weeks after my miscarriage before I found my current obgyn) . I didn't have a doctor before I got pregnant, the one I have now I just met October 31. So I really wouldn't feel bad leaving if it comes to that. My husband got home and I talked to him and I'm feeling a bit better. He agrees abut getting a second opinion. I'm trying not to obsess about all this but it's so hard not to.

Katie that's fun to have company visiting. And Friday you get to test!!! So excited for you. How are you feeling?

Natalie, great that your hcg is going down and that you are doing what feels right to you. mine is at 4 and my doctor wants me to go back until its 2...But I'm not going to. Take that! Haha. I'm not quite as rebellious as you, and my husband's a strict rule follower like Kylee

It definitely helps to talk things out with others. Thanks for all your support, ladies!

I feel overall good! Gums are sensitive and today I'm tired, but it was a busy, busy day. I'm not planning to test until sometime during the week of the 15th, so still some time to go. I implant much later than the norm so it takes a bit longer for the hCg to start building. My face is breaking out, so it could very well be AF.

Glad you are getting a second opinion! And your DH sounds very supportive which is always a blessing!!

 

[tcinks]

Oh gotcha! I was going by what your ticker said.

So I know I just said I was not going to get my hopes up, but tonight I just noticed a lot of fertile CM, which means I probably am about to ovulate! NOW even if I can't get DH to dtd again without doctor's permission, maybe last night was enough to get a little guy to my egg! Sperm can live inside for 5 days, right? Slim chance, but still possible! https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/images/smilies/eusa_pray.gif

 

[jlw617]

Oh gotcha! I was going by what your ticker said.

So I know I just said I was not going to get my hopes up, but tonight I just noticed a lot of fertile CM, which means I probably am about to ovulate! NOW even if I can't get DH to dtd again without doctor's permission, maybe last night was enough to get a little guy to my egg! Sperm can live inside for 5 days, right? Slim chance, but still possible! https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/images/smilies/eusa_pray.gif

There you go Terrissa! Anything is possible with God!

Natalie-totally agree in all aspects! I believe Doctors want to do good, but they are people too, in the end we should be educated and seek God when making decisions about our health!

 

[zaycain]

T - Ugh.. how annoying! The doc DID say you can try again. Maybe you should talk to him/her? I've instances where I speak with the nurse and the Dr. gives me a completely different answer. Nothing harmful.. but I would go with what the Doc said.

I'm sorry about the bleeding too. UGH UGH UGH!

 

[tcinks]

Thanks How was your day?

 

[Fleur828815]

Jamie, before I fell pregnant I had lots of dreams where I had a baby and kept forgetting it somewhere, or forgetting to feed it !

Kylee, yes, it makes sense that the cervix is more open after a miscarriage. I just wanted to wait 1 cycle so it would be easier to date a future pregnancy.

Terrissa, sorry the nurse upset you. I can’t remember but did you had a scan a few weeks after your miscarriage? I did, just to check that everything had gone, and the OB/gyn definitely said there are no increased medical risks if I try again immediately. The 2-3 months wait is just a general guideline, mostly for emotional recovery. If you feel ready go for it! Hope you manage to convince DH to DTD again but yes, sperm can live up to 5 days (and apparently even 8 days for a friend!). Has the spotting stopped?

Natalie, policies seem to differ so much from one place to the other! I suppose they err on the side of caution just in case. My doctor is much more “go with the flow” and “trust your body” – sometimes too much for my liking!

CD17 today and still no CM, OPK negative (the line is actually a bit fainter than previous days), ugh. I think I’m really not going to ovulate this month.

 

[kdmalk]

Fleur- sorry about your negative opks. That can be so frustrating. I am feeling the same way waiting for AF right now. Every day I hope it will be the day and then I just get upset when it isn't.

In hopes of cheering everyone up on this fine December morning... last night I had a dream that you guys were trying to tell me the statistics on how common it is to hit the mirror with toothpaste while brushing your teeth. There seemed to be consensus at about a 15-20% chance when using an electric toothbrush. I have such strange dreams...

Alright, off to a meeting!