{CLOSED GROUP} Journey to BFP and Beyond!

[KTJ006]

Oh my what a long day! The boys were fun but exhausting! And on the way to drop them off at home, one of them unlocked his seat belt and they thought it was soooo funny! I freaked out and had to pull over to get him buckled back in.

After that I went to the family practice I'd gone to for years on and off before I got pregnant. Let me just vent first. I asked her about trying to conceive again and she said we always say about 3 months. I asked why, if there was any research to back it up. She said research wasn't needed because it was science - the uterine lining needed time to rebuild. Then she says " you're young, you have plenty of time. We may recommend starting sooner if you're older or had trouble conceiving the first time". Okay....if the reasoning is "scientific" based on the need to rebuild the lining, how does age it infertility change that. Doesn't their lining need to thicken, too ? She also talked about how some women miscarry so early they don't know it happens. Clearly those women can't consciously think to wait 3 months to try again, and I'm sure get pregnant again with no problem. I was so annoyed. It doesn't make sense to make a blanket statement like this. If someone miscarried at 6 weeks and another at like 14 , another at 22, wouldn't the recovery time be different following this logic? I just want to be treated like an individual!

Okay, glad I got that out. Haha. I'm actually really glad I went to her though, she listened to me and my concerns and answered questions better than anyone before. My bleeding kinda started up again (super annoying) , so I was worried about that again. She said she thought it was normal, but ran some tests anyway to set my mind at ease, which it did! She took some swabs and felt my cervix and uterus and assured me everything seemed great. She said my fibroids seemed really small, so I assume they won't affect future pregnancy (hmmmm, not sure I ever told you ladies I have fibroids? I found out the day of my miscarriage. They don't seem to be in a place that could be a real problem, but I'm having another ultrasound tomorrow so maybe they can check them again). She went through my file very thoroughly, asking lots of questions and making sure she knew all of my concerns. She wants me to come back tomorrow because the other provider in the office will be there and she does a lot more OB work. So I'm looking forward to talking to her and hearing her thoughts on everything.

So while unfortunately it seems I'm out for this month, I'm glad I finally get someone who is really taking the time to ease my concerns and work with me. Hopefully January will be my month! If I conceive then, I'll probably deliver in October. That's the month of my birthday and of when my sweet Ronen passed. Maybe that's for a reason.

Side note...I'm starving! I ate breakfast but skipped lunch....just so busy I forgot. I'm making chicken tacos for dinner though....with guacamole! Mmmmm guacamole.

So glad you got some answers and your mind was put at ease! It really is a blessing when you can find a doctor who takes time to talk with you, answer your questions and makes you feel like more than just "another patient" to them. Even though you got news you didn't want to hear, just know that it will happen when it's supposed to! It's so cliché but I am a big believer that things happen for a reason. Sometimes we never find out that reason; sometimes we find out a while later. But it's all in His timing We are all in this together and are here for you!!

 

[NDH]

Arg well don't use her advice on hubby since she told you to wait longer than the other one did! Maybe you'll have better luck finding one to say just wait 1 cycle and since there's a pretty good chance you just had AF technically you have I'm glad she at least listened to you though.
I'll link you all the research I found on waiting vs not waiting to ttcal when I get to the computer.

 

[tcinks]

Thanks! How was your day? Did you get around to making the gingerbread?

 

[NDH]

It's in the fridge to bake while the girls are napping (they only just went down and I still have the house to clean this afternoon for Bible Study ) So far so good though, it smells and tastes nice! The big test is if i can bake it without it cracking and of course then if I can assemble it... lol

Here are some links. The first one is for the study itself (only one on the subject I could find as its quoted in everything else that talks about what the research says). and the second is an anecdotal piece about the inconsistencies of at Drs say following a miscarriage. The last one mentions statistics of multiple miscarriages which is reassuring to me since o these boards we see so may women who have had multiple losses that it seems far more common than it really is.

https://www.bmj.com/content/341/bmj.c3967
https://rhrealitycheck.org/article/...gnant-aftermiscarriage-time-right-when-right/
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-...pregnancy-after-miscarriage/art-20044134?pg=1

 

[jlw617]

So I just tested and I thought I was in the clear but I went back to check on it and still getting a positive hpt, this time it was a lot more faint though and it obviously took some time to show up where as before, it was insta-positive. OPK was not quite as dark as control line, but still pretty close, I'm having a little bit of cramping today-I'm wondering if it could be AF ready to start?

 

[coucou11]

Natalie thank you for those links! I love that first study - conceive within 6 months for the best outcome. Of course, if I can't get pregnant within 6 months I will be piiiiissed but that's another story for another day, ha.

Terrissa I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable with your doctor anyway! I totally agree with your venting though - it's clear there is really no scientific consensus and doctors are just saying what feels right to them. Let us know how it goes today and if they have more information for you. I'm so sorry about the bleeding again! How frusrating.

Jamie could be AF! I can't remember, did you think you ovulated at some point recently? Or is this maybe annovulatory cycle after the MC? I wonder what is up with the OPK.

I had a big temp jump this am, and coupled with EWCM yesterday I think I did ovulate. I'll know in a few more days if my temps stays up. No bd - I talked about it a bit with my husband and we decided to wait. Honestly I don't mentally feel ready yet. I think because it was a missed miscarriage I just lost some confidence in my body to do the right thing. So I want to go through one cycle and see how it goes before I try again. Also it will give me a good idea of how my LP is, and if I need to talk to the doctor about that.

Hope everyone else is doing well!!

 

[jlw617]

Natalie thank you for those links! I love that first study - conceive within 6 months for the best outcome. Of course, if I can't get pregnant within 6 months I will be piiiiissed but that's another story for another day, ha.

Terrissa I'm glad you are feeling more comfortable with your doctor anyway! I totally agree with your venting though - it's clear there is really no scientific consensus and doctors are just saying what feels right to them. Let us know how it goes today and if they have more information for you. I'm so sorry about the bleeding again! How frusrating.

Jamie could be AF! I can't remember, did you think you ovulated at some point recently? Or is this maybe annovulatory cycle after the MC? I wonder what is up with the OPK.

I had a big temp jump this am, and coupled with EWCM yesterday I think I did ovulate. I'll know in a few more days if my temps stays up. No bd - I talked about it a bit with my husband and we decided to wait. Honestly I don't mentally feel ready yet. I think because it was a missed miscarriage I just lost some confidence in my body to do the right thing. So I want to go through one cycle and see how it goes before I try again. Also it will give me a good idea of how my LP is, and if I need to talk to the doctor about that.

Hope everyone else is doing well!!

I honestly have no idea if I ovulated or not because my OPK's were coming back positive right when I was done with my MC so I suppose it's possible but it's more likely that I haven't and I'm probably gearing up for AF which wouldn't be bad news either.

I know what you mean about losing confidence in your body's capabilities but either way you have to make the decision based on when you are ready physically and emotionally some women are ready right away and some women just need longer to process it all I hope you're doing ok.

 

[Fleur828815]

Natalie, I was due in May. I sure hope we’ll all be pregnant by the time our due dates come around. The latest study does say it’s better to fall pregnant within 6 months after a miscarriage, but if it doesn’t happen it won’t be for lack of trying!

Terrissa, good job on surviving a whole day with the boys! So irritating that the bleeding started again. Are you bleeding heavily? Glad your doctor is so thorough and that she checked you over. You’re sounding much more positive even if you can’t try this month, it’s good to have a doctor really listen to you and ease your fears. October would be a wonderful month for you to have a baby

Jamie, I believe HPTs and OPKs can be positive for quite a while after a miscarriage. Hope something happens soon.

Leigh, after my missed miscarriage I also decided to wait till after one normal AF because I was so scared I would just miscarry again if I did fall pregnant quickly. Wait till you feel emotionally ready, it’s a lot to process.

CD19, negative OPK, no CM. I’ve gone from hoping for a Xmas BFP to hoping AF will come before the end of the year so I can start 2015 on a positive note!

 

[NDH]

Leigh emotional readiness is the biggest factor in waiting or not as there's seldom a physical need to wait. Take the time you need to heal emotionally
My initial feelings after learning of my mmc we also that my body betrayed me, but then I decided I could take comfort in knowing my body did a good job providing a good environment for the baby that it wasn't just going to decide to stop being pregnant and end a viable pregnancy. iykwim? I'm not doing a great job explaining my thoughts about it. But I verbally told myself my body wasn't to blame and thanked my boy for carrying so well as part of my 'letting go' process. I know were all different and cope different ways but that's what helped me.

Jamie the OPK was probably initially positive because they can be positive with enough hcg in the system. By now it may well be detecting ovulation.

 

[jlw617]

Natalie-that is a very good way of looking at it! I hope so, it's so funny how quickly we forget our "normal symptoms" at certain times of the month...I kind of feel like I normally cramp before ovulation (since I was having some cramping earlier) but I can't remember! I seriously need to keep a symptom journal!!

Here's a question for all you ladies...what natural supplements/herbs are you taking and why in preparation for this next pregnancy?

I am taking natural progesterone to help regulate my bodies hormones and rebuild/strengthen my uterine wall, calcium/magnesium combo because I have absorbency issues and calcium is one thing i tend to be low on, a whole food prenatal along with an extra folic acid supplement, and fish oil just because it's really good for you!

 

[KTJ006]

Honestly? I'm just taking a prenatal. I think it's because I'm oblivious as to what else I should be doing

 

[KTJ006]

And it's been quiet on here today! I wasn't able to pop on until now and I was afraid I missed a bunch!

 

[tcinks]

It has been a quiet day. Probably because I was out all day and didnt have time to spam the board

Jamie/ thanks for your response about progesterone!And as far as supplemements, still just on prenatal and also taking extra fish oil.

Well, here;s another venting post from me! I went back to the doctor today, had an ultrasound and bloodwork. They found that I have a cyst on one of my ovaries. Dont know what that means as far as complications. They said the fibroids dont look big enough or in a spot to be an issue, which was good news. But they also saw something in my uterus that may have been tissue or a blood clot...they dont know for sure. They first thing they said was I need a d&c. ummmm no. Well, they are referring me to another guy who I will see tomorrow hopefully and we will discuss options from there. I am really praying its just a blood clot, I do not want to end up getting a d&c now 8 weeks later. Because then they want me to wait 3 months after THAT to start trying again.ughhhh. I am just feeling so defeated. This miscarriage is just dragging on and on and I cant move forward! The bright side is that I am finally getting answers and people who care enough to do all this checking to really find out whats going on instead of just saying "oh thats normal, dont worry about it" If I hear that one more time from a medical professional I may just scream!!!! I went to see my mom briefly to update her on everything, and my dad made a really not funny "joke" about why my body is so messed up. :<

Anyway, not much I can do but wait I guess. My dh is still at work, hopefully we can do something fun once he gets home so I can get my mind off things.

How was your day ladies? Someone share some good news with me! Kylee, you usually have something to say to make me crack up

 

[KTJ006]

Sorry Terrissa Hang in there! Keeping my fingers crossed you don't need a D&C after all this. Glad you're being monitored closely. I know when I had blood clots after my D&C (which made me very sick), they gave me medicine to contract them all out. It sucked but did the trick. Hoping you get good news tomorrow.

I'm 99.9% certain I'm out this month. My CM is tinged pink, which typically means AF is on her way! Much sooner than I thought. Not sure how I feel about it. Blah.

HUGE headache/boarderline migraine so I'm hitting the bed early. Hope you ladies have a great night!

 

[tcinks]

Aww Katie I'm sorry.! Have a good night and hope you're feeling better tomorrow!

Also, can I anyone think of any questions I should be asking? I always have some but then forget to ask when I get there. So I'm writing them down now. Also the doctor I'm seeing tomorrow is a man. Any of you have male doctors? Is it weird?

 

[kdmalk]

I don't think I can make you crack up today. I am currently swimming in my own blood, so I can't think of anything clever. lol. It isn't actually that bad, but this AF has certainly been different. A lot more blood and a lot less tissue. I was so excited for AF and now I am ready for her to GO AWAY!

One of my friends at work is ntnp and is 3 days late. I swear I see something on her test that she sent me a few days ago, but she doesn't believe me. She refuses to test again until SUNDAY. Guess we will know one way or another by then. Excited for her, but also jealous.

Currently starving. I wish they made a "hungry" for currently feeling. I want to eat all the food in the world. All. of. it. Except things made of pickles. Sweet Jesus, I hate pickles. If I could destroy every pickle in the world, I wouldn't hesitate.

That is all.

 

[NDH]

Katie I'm crossing my fingers for implantation bleeding rather than AF.

Terrissa I'm sorry for the outcome of your scan today I hope it doesn't result i a d&c after all this time... I've never had a male Dr as an adult but did have a male midwife during my first birth if that counts

Kylee I hope AF skedaddles soon so you can get down to business Good luck to your friend!

 

[coucou11]

Katie could be implantation bleeding! I had that my last pregnancy - pink tinged CM and I was sure I was out, i was like 11 DPO. But then it was bfp! I hope your head feels better tomorrow!

Terrissa that sounds so awful, I'm so sorry! I really hope that both the cyst and the clot are nothing to worry about. If they do push for a D&C, I would ask about methergine as an option instead. It is a medication used to clear remaining tissue / blood out of your uterus after birth (or a miscarriage). It's the stuff I used. Didn't seem to work wonders for me but it would be better than a D&C at this point for sure! Also, why did they say you needed to wait three months after any D&C? Again, seems arbitrary, I would push back on that if you can (if that ends up being what happens). I have not seen a male gyno that I can recall, but I did see a male doctor for an issue I had down there back when I was in my early teens. From what I recall it was totally fine, he was very professional.

Kylee - yikes, sounds uncomfortable! I have been really wondering how my first AF will be too, sounds like it could be weird.

Jamie - I am taking prenatals and DHA, and drinking raspberry leaf tea. Oh and I have been taking my leftover placenta pills from the birth of my daughter. I figured they could help with the hormonal weirdness after the miscarriage, and apparently since they were freeze dried and have been in the freezer they basically never go bad (some women save them for menopause!!). They'll be done soon though, and then I think I won't take anything else. Gonna try and go natural this cycle as I'm skittish since I miscarried after stopping Vitex (probably no connection, but who knows...)

 

[tcinks]

Leigh, Placenta pills? I've never heard of that...how does that work? I'm also taking raspberry leaf tea.

Natalie thanks for the support. How was your day? Anything exciting happen, like getting locked on out the balcony again?

Kylee I'm sure af will be gone before you know it!

 

[coucou11]

Haha yes! I wouldn't call it a common practice but more people are doing it now - either eating the placenta or drying and encapsulating it. I did the latter, seemed more palatable. It is supposed to help with the loss of hormones post birth, and help with post-partum depression. Not much research done but I felt like it couldn't hurt. Depression runs in my family and I wanted to do everything possible to avoid post-partum depression.

I didn't the encapsulation myself, my doula did it for me (thank goodness, not sure I have the stomach for something like that). You have to tell your doctor and sign a form to get them to release your placenta after birth, and someone has to take it right away in a cooler. Otherwise it was pretty simple - other than the whole giving birth part, of course (ha!)