Nichole- I agree w/ Mirolee, be pushy, it's your body and there are options that can be tried before resorting to invasive things and/or throwing in the towel. Research your heart out.. I know it hurts, I can't even imagine how SICK OF IT you are.. I swear I might drive off the road like I almost did for Mirolee when I wake up to the post that you've got your much-deserved BFP. It can happen, just keep trucking along love
Amelia- I know exactlyyyy how you feel. I only ever knew my kid while he was in my belly. I got to know him, his schedules, talked to him, bought stuff, blah blah, and then everything just came crashing down. It hurts like hell.. and heck there were days I sat in the shower too wanting to just die, wanting to escape that awful pain in my chest, sobbing because that was the only place I could let it out without my mascara running all over everything. DH didn't get it, he felt guilt and wanted to die more than I did.. But he was mine and I knew him, every day I woke up and knew him and he was my baby and my gosh no one but the mother will ever understand that awful feeling. You have to give yourself time to hit that rock-bottom spot, say ok I feel SH**TY!, now I am going to work up from here. I think being alone allows you to have that pity party (not good wording, but you know just to be able to GET IT OUT) that you need. To really grieve for that little life and show them- look little bean, this mama has NOT forgotten about you. Things just didn't work out, and that is in whatever "Creator's" hands that you believe in. Mother nature, whatever. It SUCKS and horrid things happen to the best people so that we are pushed to the edge, tested to show how strong we are. The trick is not to let it push you OVER. Say hey, eff you, I'm not gonna let you break me.
I think losing weight (even though you are beautiful I've seen FB proof!!), if it makes you feel better, is a good idea. I guess just focus on that for a month or so. Get down to where you'd like to be and stay healthy after that. And ovulate. And live with your darling and BD in the bed you share whenever you need, have your "mobile lab" of pee sticks

, and just do this the right way, stress-free, together. I'm praying things go swell for you, no one deserves this. Or to feel like something you did caused this, bc that's just not true. Life just throws us hella curveballs sometimes. (Here to talk whenever, I've felt as low as you feel and I would love to help you through)
