Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[Myalways829]

And I got my AF today Yay!

 

[Meishka]

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome! Gay or straight doesn't matter to me, it's just nice to find a forum with other people using donor sperm! For my wife and I, we were very lucky finding our donor. First we were looking at free donor sperm online, but that went nowhere and got both of us really irritated and feeling hopeless. Seems that every donor we talked to kept pushing us for NI, ya umm not happening lol! Then within days of kinda giving up on the known donor sperm my wife ran into one of her friends that was actually the first person she said she wished could be our donor, but she didn't have his phone number! So he came ton our house and we talked it all out and he agreed to all our requests! He is just perfect for us! I'm white and my wife is native, so we really wanted a donor with some color to their skin so the baby can look like both of us. Ya, it isnt easy finding native american donors!! Well our donor and my wife look like they could
be siblings, so that was great! On top of it, he is gay as well, so he really understands our want to have a child together, despite it being impossible. He is actually Puerto Rican, but we are still extremely happy with him, and he is great at making himself available for us whenever we call him. In return, I offered to be a surrogate mother for him if he ever meets a guy and decides to settle down lol. So it's pretty great for all of us. Ok so forgive me for my rambling! I'm so excited to have found this forum. I am technically in my first TWW, but I should see AF tomorrow all the hpt's have been BFN even this mornings. So I'm looking forward to next month. I chart CM, BBT, and use OPKs. For round 2, we got the soft cups, green tea, mucinex, And EPO. Hopefully we have better luck next time!

 

[Myalways829]

Meishka - Good luck

 

[wipednwired]

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome! Gay or straight doesn't matter to me, it's just nice to find a forum with other people using donor sperm! For my wife and I, we were very lucky finding our donor. First we were looking at free donor sperm online, but that went nowhere and got both of us really irritated and feeling hopeless. Seems that every donor we talked to kept pushing us for NI, ya umm not happening lol! Then within days of kinda giving up on the known donor sperm my wife ran into one of her friends that was actually the first person she said she wished could be our donor, but she didn't have his phone number! So he came ton our house and we talked it all out and he agreed to all our requests! He is just perfect for us! I'm white and my wife is native, so we really wanted a donor with some color to their skin so the baby can look like both of us. Ya, it isnt easy finding native american donors!! Well our donor and my wife look like they could
be siblings, so that was great! On top of it, he is gay as well, so he really understands our want to have a child together, despite it being impossible. He is actually Puerto Rican, but we are still extremely happy with him, and he is great at making himself available for us whenever we call him. In return, I offered to be a surrogate mother for him if he ever meets a guy and decides to settle down lol. So it's pretty great for all of us. Ok so forgive me for my rambling! I'm so excited to have found this forum. I am technically in my first TWW, but I should see AF tomorrow all the hpt's have been BFN even this mornings. So I'm looking forward to next month. I chart CM, BBT, and use OPKs. For round 2, we got the soft cups, green tea, mucinex, And EPO. Hopefully we have better luck next time!

Interesting point about choosing the background of the donor - I'm white with a basic British isles mutt background, and my partner is Italian. I wanted someone with those Latin looks, but in the end, she chose the donor. Our friends were over for dinner (my female friend and her hubby, who is the donor) and after then left, she said "he's handsome and so nice, how about him?" At first I was like - whaaaa? He's my friend's husband! But in the end, the fact that she chose him to be the donor for me feels kinda special. And they as a couple are so cool with it. There are so many things that make it feel right, or not right, aren't there?

 

[wipednwired]

Lian: I'm the same number of DPO as you, so good luck!

momwannabe81: congrats on finding a donor - it's such an important step (no kidding, LOL).

Everyone: I know this is early, but have you thought about/discussed/signed agreements with the donor?

 

[Myalways829]

wipednwired- i thought about that but then I was like Im just going to use a sperm bank then I saw those prices I was like ''oh my'' lol but i would sign a agreement with the donor because I dont want no problems in the future

 

[c.30]

Lian: I'm the same number of DPO as you, so good luck!

momwannabe81: congrats on finding a donor - it's such an important step (no kidding, LOL).

Everyone: I know this is early, but have you thought about/discussed/signed agreements with the donor?

I have a signed agreement with my donor, I've had different donors and used a contract several times; it just gives "peace of mind" I suppose for both parties and everyone knows were they stand

 

[ticking.clock]

No because I the uk contracts are worthless, if a donor decided to take action for access a court would not care about a contract as the law does not acknowledge private donations.
I have no issue with my donor having contact anyway if he decided to co-parent c

 

[faithbabies]

WELCOME Meishka, Wired and Firefly! this is a great group of ladies,supporters, etc! g'luck!


c30~ thank you! and fingers crossed your bfp is just around the corner!!

myalways~ sounds like u have been a busy bee! g'luck on your donor search!

mrsmm~~ hugs, i've been thinking of ya!

momwannabe~ yay for finding a new donor!!!!

Hello to everyone i missed and to everyone as well!

afm~~AF arrived today and i talked to my known donor and if this doesnt work by august then july will be our last cycle with him and we will go back to clinic and try iui again or possibly ivf...he says everyone in his family gets prego in july so maybe it will happen then...fxd. i'm kinda bummed and burnt out on home insem. Just ready for it to happen. I just turned 35 in march and was tested with low ovarian reserve last year so that's probably slowing things down a bit but i know i can get prego as i did on my second iui cycle in 2010....ah well just trying to be patient. and pray alot

 

[c.30]

Sorry AF got you Faith, BIG I'll keep everything crossed for you for this month, lots and lots of to you.

Re the contract, I found this which may help
https://spermdonationuk.co.uk/?page_id=14

I think this is why it's important to be 100% happy with your donor before you start and for any agreement to clearly state what each party wants

 

[Myalways829]

faithbabies - sorry that AF came

 

[drsquid]

im using a sperm bank because i just didnt want to coparent and i didnt want my child to feel like the donor didnt like them because they werent a good enough kid etc when the reality was, this is what i chose ie specifically no involvement. i went open id (which was the only thing id consider) because i want to give my future kid the best possible chance of later finding out their genetic info (and theoretically a relationship though i think that is less likely). fingers crossed. heading out for iui #4

 

[MrsMM24]

MYALWAYS so happy that you received AF as it seems you were looking forward to it, no doubt to start another TTC... I am waiting, waiting, waiting....


FAITHBABIES Soooo sorry that AF has set in on you Hun! I cannot wait till you're preggars, and hopefully I will be too!!!

 

[hopefultwo]

Hi Everyone,

We are just started charting ovulation and searching for another donor are first one did not work out. Would be grateful for any tips or stories on finding a donor. We prefer a local donor but are also open to using a bank. Has anyone used both? Which was more successful? We are reading posts as fast as we can to learn more about the processes and the plethera of abbreviations.lol Much babydust to those trying and congrats to those that have had their BFP. We look forward to meeting new people and learning things that will help us on our way. Thanks in advance.

 

[Myalways829]

MrsMM24- Lol thank you . Its because I was pass my usual CD. But how are you?

 

[Meishka]

Hopeful2- hi and welcome! In my opinion, using a local donor or a bank just depends on the individual person and what you want. If you can find a local donor that agrees to all your requests and is willing to sign a contract with your request, then that is a great way to go. We were going to use a bank, and lucked out finding a local donor and great friend to us that agreed with everything we wanted. Since he is local we can call him up whenever we need him, which is great for us. But others prefer to not worry about there being any contact with the donor and child or other reasons and therefore prefer using a
bank, some people just have a hard time finding a local donor. I know we did for a while! But if you can find a local donor, even a friend willing to donate, it's really nice to have a sample a phone call away! Good luck in your journey!

 

[Meishka]

Hopeful2- hi and welcome! In my opinion, using a local donor or a bank just depends on the individual person and what you want. If you can find a local donor that agrees to all your requests and is willing to sign a contract with your request, then that is a great way to go. We were going to use a bank, and lucked out finding a local donor and great friend to us that agreed with everything we wanted. Since he is local we can call him up whenever we need him, which is great for us. But others prefer to not worry about there being any contact with the donor and child or other reasons and therefore prefer using a
bank, some people just have a hard time finding a local donor. I know we did for a while! But if you can find a local donor, even a friend willing to donate, it's really nice to have a sample a phone call away! Good luck in your journey!

 

[hopefultwo]

Hi Meishka,

We had a local donor, unfortunetly with a new relationship he changed his mind. My partner would still prefer local, I prefer the less stress of using a bank. But I am giving finding a local donor my all as I do see the convenience in having someone "at the ready" so to speak. Thanks for your response. I look forward to talking to you again in the future and others as well. I would like to learn more of others journeys along this same path.

 

[Meishka]

Well ladies, I'm 16 dpo, still no sign of AF. But still BFNs my temp went up today higher than it has ever been, still I'm expecting I just O'd late. Still holding on to some hope though! Hope everyone else is doing great!

 

[Myalways829]

hopefultwo- Hii