Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[CountryGirl89]

Hey y'all! After a few days of reading pages and pages of threads I have finally joined! I want to first say your stories and advice has been really helpful for my personal research.

I'm a single girl and I have always wanted to be a mom, and I am finally where I want and need to be in life financially and mentally of course . I apologize if I ramble on, but I'm not sure how to word things. I just have a few questions to start off with for you-
How old (if you don't mind me asking) were you when you decided to try home insemination?
Was your family on board with your decision to use HI? And if not, how did you deal with them?
Has anyone used a donor of a different ethnicity? (just curious)
What does DD, LD, LH, LO and FOB mean? I figured out what the others I see used mean but not 100% sure on these lol I'm sure LO and FOB is little one and father of baby but I draw blanks on DD LH, and LD.

Thank you so much and I can't wait to read more of your stories and advice Good luck and may the baby fairy visit you all soon

 

[Myalways829]

ticking.clock-

CountryGirl89 - heyyy

 

[JazznTee]

Well Ladies i just wanted to make a post and discuss donor contracts for a minute. Also i am in the US. I am unsure what UK does.

In The states, There are states that will allow a donor agreement to be used as a release of rights. or serve as a legit agreement. Especially if you have a husband and you are using donor sperm with an agreements (in some states) it may be honored and your husband will be deemed the father of the child.

Now for lesbian couples If you are using lambda legal website to see what state allows same sex second parent adoption. The website may say your state allows it. Take this information a step farther and contact a lawyer who deals with same sex second parent adoption in your area. The reason i say this is because the law is confusing and is currently not on my side for the moment. I do have a donor agreement or contract what ever you call it but legally that paper means as much to this state as the socks on my feet, Nothing. So my donor is still considered the Natural father in order for my donor to release his rights another person must adopt his child. Yea that would be great if i was a straight couple but i am not. so did i tell you when i checked the website and the legal sites it said that my state allowed same sex second parent adoption, but did i also tell you after speaking to an attorney to file my paper work for the adoption i found out only 2 counties in the state of georgia will allow it. Did i also tell you. I don't live in those 2 counties. Oh and then even if i did. i would have to hope that i got a certain judge who would approve it. oh and then i would have to do a home study. which is fine. so my end result is my wife can not adopt our child the donor parental rights are not release cause it can only be release if another person adopts the child. and well i just have to hope that my relationship with my donor is solid and he keeps to his word which i feel he will but all of this came later.

So for anyone who thinks there contracts are end all be all unless your own lawyer drew up the contract go speak to a lawyer. the law changes from state to state county to county. If you live in a state that allow's same sex marriage you may not have a problem at all. but double check with your a lawyer as peace of mind is better than stress at the end.


I am 35 weeks yall.... I am waiting on little man to come. i have been dilating and contracting. but i think my wife is going to miss his entry into this world.... She gets deployed to afghan on the 20th of april

Mrsmm, I am sorry to hear about your lost. and to ticking as well
Welcome to all the new women here ttc

 

[JazznTee]

Here Micah Latest Sonogram, We went for a 3D Scan since she may not be here when he born she wanted to see him

 

[Carrie&Char]

JazznTee

how cute is your little man going to be!!! Hope your wife gets to be here in time and see him arrive !!! xxx

 

[momwannabe81]

So what happens in those states where girls don't know who the father is?????

 

[LunaBean]

aww hes so cute!

 

[drsquid]

jazz- congrats.. and sorry about all the difficulty. i realize that donor sperm is expensive (from a bank) but your situation (as well as a few others) are exactly why i went that route.

 

[Bookworm83]

Hey ladies I'm a little late to the party, just joined the forum today. My husband and I are TTC #1 via in-home artificial insemination with donor sperm. We found the donor online and have signed contracts. My husband's sperm count was low with practically no motility, and the doc suggested we try IVF...which is too expensive for us. I'm on clomid to induce ovulation and should be ovulating next weekend (April 21ish). Good luck to you all!

 

[MrsMM24]

JAZZNTEE OMG!! 1st... looove the avatar pic! 2nd Soooo sorry for the legal issues that you have been going through. 3rd, How Freaking Cute is your little man! Awww... I hope upon hopes that you deliver within the next week so that DW can see her son!

Thank you for your thoughts, it has been a journey... we have not given up. AFU, we are a little more fortunate, as we have an unknown donor and we are married in a State that allows for same-sex marriage as well as adoption if we were to go that route. I hope others join in so that you all can have the same rights. VERY important even for those that are not same-sex.

 

[JazznTee]

So what happens in those states where girls don't know who the father is?????

What i mean is its illegal to know who the father is and not place his name on the birth certificate, being that i used a known donor then that would be like so how you don't know him but you knew him to get sperm. its kind of complicated. but if you don't know than you just don't know.

I will act as if i don't know. and if someone says otherwise to me during the signing i will say he gave me a false name to protect himself just in case things didn't work out in his favor but unfortunately.

I am fine because i mean i know who my father is but his name is not on my birthcertificate because he got on my mothers nerve the day of signing...lol but true.

Its just say when i finally can get this adoption to process i may have to get a dna test to prove to the court he is the father and wants to remove his parental rights for the purpose of giving my wife full custody and parental rights.

 

[JazznTee]

JAZZNTEE OMG!! 1st... looove the avatar pic! 2nd Soooo sorry for the legal issues that you have been going through. 3rd, How Freaking Cute is your little man! Awww... I hope upon hopes that you deliver within the next week so that DW can see her son!

Thank you for your thoughts, it has been a journey... we have not given up. AFU, we are a little more fortunate, as we have an unknown donor and we are married in a State that allows for same-sex marriage as well as adoption if we were to go that route. I hope others join in so that you all can have the same rights. VERY important even for those that are not same-sex.

Yes it annoys me greatly as i was married in D.C but living in Georgia is like having no paper work. and like i said there are 2 counties that will allow it but i don't live in those counties and even in those counties you have to hope you get the right judge. I so want to move to new york only for the purpose of handling my legal business. and thank you we started to cry looking at the sonogram trying to figure out who he resembles. oh and yes i been nesting and walking i want to jump down the stairs i want my water just to break but i know thats not going to happen. I would be shocked if it did. praying the evening primrose oil softens my cervix up for dilation and the red raspberry leaf tea helps because even if she misses his delivery i am just trying to help give myself a shorter delivery with my first son was 48 hour and my second son was 17hr.. I am shooting for 10hrs or less i am getting old. Im glad you have not given up since coming here when i first started you were the couple that gave me hope and let me know it was possible

 

[JazznTee]

jazz- congrats.. and sorry about all the difficulty. i realize that donor sperm is expensive (from a bank) but your situation (as well as a few others) are exactly why i went that route.

Well it wasn't the financial aspect of the banks that deter us it was intense research and realizing the bank don't really know the amount of children born to a donor because not all woman will say. That was a concern & i wanted to be able to contact him personally if a medical issue arrived. and say he was the only one who could save my childs life. I am just a thinker.

and well like i said i did do my research but once pregnant and i contact my lawyer to pay for services and to draw up things thats when she began to tell me what i did not want to hear thats why in the last post i said ladies take it a step farther and contact a lawyer. That was my fault but i could have avoided this if i would have took his sperm to my dr and then my dr handed it over to me. that releases his rights or had my dr inseminate me even with known donor that releases his rights. being that no dr was involved it makes it diffrent legally. but yes i agree going with a bank can sometimes relieve the legal strain that may come upon you.

 

[momwannabe81]

I kind of wondered about that. But yeah I would too lie and say u don't know the father. If anything can say was done thru mail and was a po box....idk trying to give u ideas. I don't have that issue as dh would be the one on birth certificate. Hope u find a solution soon. GL with labor

 

[ticking.clock]

Well I had donation on Sunday and ovulated Monday, sp perfect timing!!!
Will know soon enough I guess lol

 

[momwannabe81]

GL ticking.

 

[ticking.clock]

Thanks xx

 

[momwannabe81]

I'm just waiting for AF so can setup dates to receive donations. It's a 30-45 minute drive one way to get it so want to get at least if possible 3(might be asking to much lol) but i'm pretty regular and O usually cd 13-15 which days should i get the donations??

 

[rhloveselmo]

Hi there, I just wanted to let you know that it worked first time with my hubby and me. My hubby has erectile dysfunction due to antidepressants so this was the only way for us. I used an ovulation predictor kit and did the deed the day before and the day of a positive opk. My hubby then made me orgasm both times and had my hips elevated for abouut 30 minutes. I kind of related side to side as well. When you do this though make sure you keep the syringe inside you as it works as a plug keeping the little guys in. Good luck everyone..

 

[Myalways829]

Jazz- your baby is too cute