Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[drsquid]

catherine- im not comfortable with it either. for me it is because i dont want a kid thinking... uncle bobby is my daddy but he isnt really my daddy maybe it is cause im a bad kid etc. or the guy suddenly deciding they want to be involved etc. i went with open id sperm bank sperm so i have a chance of providing a future child with that info when they turn 18. to me that was the best option (plus i dont know anyone i want to donate and the idea of "finding" a donor kinda creeps me out)

 

[c.30]

I don't think a donor child will think they're "bad", I think it's our responsibility as single parents (or otherwise) choosing the sperm donor route to explain in an age appropriate way that mummy really wanted them and a special man helped mummy have him/her at least that's what I intend to do. I have plenty of info for the child when their 18 if they want to contact their biological father. As I said, it's my responsibility to make sure the child doesn't feel "bad" but loved and very much wanted!

I guess it's each to their own but for a lot of people, including myself, going to a sperm bank was not an option so thank God there are men out there willing to help us. I didn't find finding a donor seedy or anything, there are plenty of websites out there and as long as you have a good head on your shoulders you can weed out the guys that don't feel right and end up with a good donor. As I said, each to their own

 

[drsquid]

that is why i put in the caveat "for me"

 

[KelleyNJen]

Drsquid. We went the sperm bank route as well. We don't have anyone that we would like to be the donor. So we chose one from a bank that resembled me (since my wife is going to carry.) We selected a willing to be known donor also, so our child will have the option if they choose to meet him. Actually getting pregnant would be easier with fresh but I am willing to try a little harder to avoid possible complications. Another reason for the bank is in California if a same sex couple is married / domestic partners and the partner can be listed on the birth certificate as the other parent.

Good luck to you!

 

[KelleyNJen]

Drsquid. We went the sperm bank route as well. We don't have anyone that we would like to be the donor. So we chose one from a bank that resembled me (since my wife is going to carry.) We selected a willing to be known donor also, so our child will have the option if they choose to meet him. Actually getting pregnant would be easier with fresh but I am willing to try a little harder to avoid possible complications. Another reason for the bank is in California if a same sex couple is married / domestic partners and the partner can be listed on the birth certificate as the other parent. Did not want there to be complications for the BC.

Good luck to you!

 

[KelleyNJen]

Oops, that was not supposed to post twice.

 

[drsquid]

kell- that is cool that you can list both partners. i have a friend i grew up with, she and her partner each carried a baby with a donor that looked like the other. pretty cool. im completely single so... only one name going on the bc if i ever pull this off... just chatted with someone at work who just had a baby at 42 (an oopsie natural) which reassures me some.. then of course had to read an ob us pre abortion for dating... sigh

 

[faithbabies]

we went the known donor route because i wasnt having success with shipping fresh sperm and i didnt want to do shipping from sperm banks due to cost...i also like the convenience of doing it on my schedule as we have 3 kids and foster...our donor now is a good friend and would be considered "uncle" but if it doesnt work by aug we will be going back to clinic.

anyhoo...i'm 9-10dpo and no symptoms...not even my pms symptoms i usually have the week before but i've been doing a new fitness routine and i am sure it may be throwing my body off lol plus we only got in one donation this month and i'm not sure if it was early enough I'd have to look but i think i'm due to get AF next thursday....fxd

Welcome to all the newbies and i wish yall the best of luck and much baby dust!

ticking...so sorry i've been away and missed it but HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! hope this year brings you your long awaited sticky bean!

mrsmm....all the baby dust in the world to you my friend..pray the 2ww flies by to a BFP!!

c30....are you in the 2ww? fxd and for you girl! hugs!

 

[ticking.clock]

Hi ladies,

Thanks for the birthday wishes xx

Taking temps vaginally is better as its not affected by outside influences such as room temp, having windows open, mouth breathing etc.

I have a dilemma, the hospital rang to say Jesse will be cremated o n Wednesday along with 6 other babies, but an ex BF of mine (when we were 8 lol) works in a funeral directors thing and he asked about private cremations and as its a baby the only charge is for the crem, so £38,
Would you have a private one??

Oh and AF started yesterday x

 

[Myalways829]

Happy Be-lated Birthday

 

[JLondon]

Ticking I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with. What are you going to want to do with the ashes? What will the hospital do with the ashes? are they divided up between parents? I'm not sure what I would want to do. I think I actually quite like the idea of the babies being together - bless their little souls x

Sorry about AF

 

[MissHoneyp]

Aww Ticking so sorry not easy decision to make but im sure which ever one you choose will be right for you and Jessie

Faithbabies any luck on getting that BFP?

Thermometer and rest of my tests arrived today so start testing to see when i ovulate. Meeting donor on Wednesday so if all goes according to plan hopefully start trying in June

Sprinkling Baby dust on to all x

 

[faithbabies]

ticking~ sorry AF flew in on you hope she decides to stay away for awhile! as for the cremation thing....it's nice to have the option, do what you feel best about! either decision cant be wrong. hugs as u decide

misshoney~ well, i'm about 10-11dpo today and should start by next wed/thurs and last night i kinda felt crampy and had low back pain so that may be AF showin her early signs....if i dont have more symptoms by sunday or monday i may do a test...i just hate wasting a test on a bfn!!
yay on trying in june! much babydust to you!!

 

[JLondon]

Well said Faith, 'neither decision will be wrong' very good point!

 

[ticking.clock]

well i have decided to go with a private cremation, as its more personal, as i can put things in with Jesse,
i had to decide on 2 songs, so picked
Celine Dion "a new day has come"
Lady Antebellum "never alone"

doesn't help that im also having to have a donation that day, as im due to ovulate around that time so who knows.........

 

[Merrihopes]

I am new to the board. I am married to my husband. He can not have anymore children and he has agreed to sperm donation. We have one daughter, who is in first grade. Our family has had multiple losses. I have been trying with a sperm bank for quite some time. We recently switched donors. I am going into my 5th cycle. We tried conception cups and at home Iui's. Nothing. Just got my AF again. We are thinking about switching banks. I am also a cancer surivor. My cycles are getting shorter and shorter. I am trying to naturally work it out. I took a day 3 FSH test today. It was okay. I am feeling like time is running out. Which is better unwashed or washed? Thank you! Merri

 

[Merrihopes]

Sorry Ticking clock for your losses.

 

[Merrihopes]

I am new to the board. I am married to my husband. He can not have anymore children and he has agreed to sperm donation. We have one daughter, who is in first grade. Our family has had multiple losses. I have been trying with a sperm bank for quite some time. We recently switched donors. I am going into my 5th cycle. We tried conception cups and at home Iui's. Nothing. Just got my AF again. We are thinking about switching banks. I am also a cancer surivor. My cycles are getting shorter and shorter. I am trying to naturally work it out. I took a day 3 FSH test today. It was okay. I am feeling like time is running out. Which is better unwashed or washed? Thank you! Merri

 

[faithbabies]

welcome Merri!! congrats on being a cancer survivor! I used a sperm bank for my IUIs a couple of years ago and they used unwashed because they washed the donation anyway when they got it so they didnt want it washed twice, but if i was doing home insem i would get washed. Have u considered fresh sperm from local donor? I wish you all the best of luck and baby dust!!

afm...AF set to arrive next wed or thurs and i have started having mild cramps/backache and pale pink after bm this am...my normal PMS signs looks like it's gona be another bfn for me. ugh.

 

[Gilka]

I've just joined the board......
I'm single and will be TTC with a sperm donor in July/August onwards.
I'm just starting to take temps and charting and all that jazz and it's a bit complicated eh!! But will get there!!

Am glad that there are other people in my situation here, nice to meet you all.

xx