Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[c.30]

I'm not sure if I read this or was told it by one my ttc buddies but I THINK at implantation symptoms can decrease as well, something to do with hormones, which may explain the lack of sore bbs yesterday for you. Keeping my fingers crossed.

 

[laurac1988]

How bizarre. I didn't know that!

They are sore again today, but were barely sore yesterday

 

[LeahMSta]

Oh Laura this all sounds so awesome. I really hope that this is your cycle!

 

[laurac1988]

Hope so too. And I hope if it is you can join me soon

 

[KelleyNJen]

Ok girls, my turn for a rant.

Maybe it is just me but I have noticed that some people are either ignorant, insensitive or just clueless and I am not entirely sure how to handle them.
Here is the background. My wife is 16 weeks pregnant with our child. A child conceived through unconventional means (frozen donor sperm) but our child none the less. We began this journey together, picked the donor based on his similarity to me, I inseminated her and technically I got her pregnant so I see this child as much my child as it is hers.

The current situation that is rubbing me the wrong way is this. Several of our friends have asked me if/when I am throwing DWs baby shower. Now correct me if I am wrong but baby showers are usually thrown by friends or family, not the parents of the unborn child. When they ask me this I feel like they are already discounting me as a parent of this child and see it as only my wife’s baby. If I were her husband instead of her wife would I be being asked the same? I am at a loss as to how to respond to these people. I want to believe that they are not that insensitive that they are just stupid but either way I am not sure what to say to them.

Anyone ever been in this situation before? Any advice?

 

[LeahMSta]

I've not been in that situation but I would likely just toss the ball back in their court and say " Is't it considered bad manners to throw a shower for your own child?" If nothing else it will remind them of your place or let them know if it is truely just ignorance.

 

[Juniperjules]

KelleyNJen, I would feel the same way. I'd be frustrated by that. And I think probably it is just stupidity on their behalf... Just not really thinking about it. It's like they are thinking of u as 'the best friend' rather than 'the partner' & 'the other parent'. Which isn't necessarily a terrible crime- but it is unintentionally thoughtless.

I'm with Leah, I'd be throwing it back at them very quickly and saying something like "no of course not! You don't throw a baby shower for your own child!"

Its kind of one of those things that people do that hurt you a little, but they've done it without intending to offend... They just don't think. It's like when people ask me "so when is OH gonna make an honest woman out of you??"... It seriously makes my blood boil!!! We've been together 17yrs, & perhaps one day we might decide to get married- but if we don't- that's our business, & I actually find it offensive that people think its ok to ask such a question. I once replied with "well actually, I think I'm pretty honest already. I don't need him to marry me to make me complete". And I know people aren't trying to be rude, they are just NOT THINKING. So I forgive them : ) but I've gotta say, I'm a pretty sensitive person, & I can honestly say that I'm always very careful & precise about the things I say to people, so it does always astound me when people just say stuff that I find insensitive/ thoughtless/ rude/ hurtful.

 

[jakeinsem]

Quick questions... does anyone on here have PCOS? I do and I'm afraid that it will stop me from getting pregnant. I just called my sister who had PCOS and she said she has never had a problem getting pregnant (naturally). I googled pregnancy with PCOS and it varies from person to person. I go se my doctor Monday I'm going to ask about taking fertility meds right away because my first try will be mid November. Any more tips... all of this is a little overwhelming and although my gf is helpful I don't think she feels the same stress that I do.

Your doc is the best for answering this but basically they will do an ultrasound of your follicles and also measure your uteral lining thickness. Plus hormones of course. Don't worry too much as this condition can vary a lot. I impregnated a young woman with this so I know it's possible.

 

[Nimyra]

Thanks for your support.

Based on cycle length I'm expecting AF on Friday or Saturday (28/29 day cycles).

I had a weird cycle though --- my temps weren't in the typical pattern, I had a couple of dips and a slow rise (and not that high in general). I suspect that I have weak ovulation, which would explain the multiple temp dips (body trying to OV twice?) as well as the fact that I didn't get a true positive on any of the cheapie LH strips, but had stronger lines then faded, then stronger again before fading.

I'm actually thinking that I should try soy isoflavones next cycle to give my body more of chance at a strong ovulation. I know that it can mess with your cycle and your ovulation date (and was too scared to try 3 years ago) but this time around my donor is semi-local so I have more flexibility with donation timing. I think its worth a try.

I'll put up a ticker for next cycle to make things less confusing.

 

[Juniperjules]

Nimyra, I'll keep fingers and toes crossed for you... It's not over yet till AF appears!! I don't know much about the soy myself? I'm doing Chinese medicine to help with everything in general : ) my cycle has been regular 27-28 days for years, then suddenly played up recently. But so far so good this month. My temps were a bit erratic last month but my Chinese lady said she will change that with the herbs etc & the acupuncture. And I definitely saw a difference in my AF for the better this month.

So, we've done AI twice this cycle. Once last night after getting a positive OPK @10.40am, & once again tonite. So I'm praying my OH's little swimmers are doing their job right now!!!

And so begins the TWW....

 

[LeahMSta]

We finally have a positive OPK!!! Yesterday afternoon we got the first smile and inseminated last night. We will do insems tonight and tomorrow and then kick back and wait for confirmed O. We are planning to continue everyother day insems until we are certain that O has happened because she has had a couple cycles with a delayed O after the LH surge. The awesome news is that, provided she gets a confirmed O in the next few days, we will get to test the weekend we celebrate our 11th anniversary.

 

[Nimyra]

We finally have a positive OPK!!! Yesterday afternoon we got the first smile and inseminated last night. We will do insems tonight and tomorrow and then kick back and wait for confirmed O. We are planning to continue everyother day insems until we are certain that O has happened because she has had a couple cycles with a delayed O after the LH surge. The awesome news is that, provided she gets a confirmed O in the next few days, we will get to test the weekend we celebrate our 11th anniversary.

Awesome! Good plan!

 

[jakeinsem]

Best of luck

 

[Juniperjules]

Am feeling paranoid today.. Cd 12 & 13 I had alot of EWCM. I then had a positive OPK on cd14. We did AI late on cd14. We also did AI very late on cd15 (actually it was after midnite so technically cd16 really I guess).

Today is cd 16 & this afternoon I had a fair bit of kinda watery cm also. So now I'm worried that we should be doing an AI today as well?? But with work etc OH & I won't get another opportunity today or even tomoro.

I know I'm probably being paranoid.. But now I'm feeling flat & worried that we shouldve done more. Does it matter that I didn't actually see any cm on the days I did the AI?? I'm hoping that even if I didn't see any that there was still some up there!!!

Today I was with a friend talking about all of this- & I started feeling like omg, this is impossible! What are the chances that this will actually work?? Today it feels very unlikely.... I feel paranoid that doing AI seems stupid & silly.. & irritated that we can't just do it the old fashioned way. BUT I keep reminding myself about all the positive stories in this thread. And that AI DOES work. For loads of women in here.

c30, I keep thinking of you actually- your my positive inspiration at the moment. I know you did AI, & I 'think' you only did one AI?? (correct me if I'm wrong)... & you got ur BFP. .... I just need to try & think positive I guess....

 

[Mumsiesam]

Am feeling paranoid today.. Cd 12 & 13 I had alot of EWCM. I then had a positive OPK on cd14. We did AI late on cd14. We also did AI very late on cd15 (actually it was after midnite so technically cd16 really I guess).

Today is cd 16 & this afternoon I had a fair bit of kinda watery cm also. So now I'm worried that we should be doing an AI today as well?? But with work etc OH & I won't get another opportunity today or even tomoro.

I know I'm probably being paranoid.. But now I'm feeling flat & worried that we shouldve done more. Does it matter that I didn't actually see any cm on the days I did the AI?? I'm hoping that even if I didn't see any that there was still some up there!!!

Today I was with a friend talking about all of this- & I started feeling like omg, this is impossible! What are the chances that this will actually work?? Today it feels very unlikely.... I feel paranoid that doing AI seems stupid & silly.. & irritated that we can't just do it the old fashioned way. BUT I keep reminding myself about all the positive stories in this thread. And that AI DOES work. For loads of women in here.

c30, I keep thinking of you actually- your my positive inspiration at the moment. I know you did AI, & I 'think' you only did one AI?? (correct me if I'm wrong)... & you got ur BFP. .... I just need to try & think positive I guess....

Hi Hun I watch this thread a lot n me and my wife did AI and I fell pregnant first time!!! We was shocked we am expecting our child in may jst wanted to let you know it does work and to give you hope xxxx

 

[ebelle]

Hey Juniperjules,

Just wanted to share that the month I got my we only did 1 "AI" on ovulation day and that was all it took for success... This is after 16 months, some where we did 4-5 inseminations per cycle.

So dont give up yet, it can happen!

 

[Juniperjules]

Mumsiesam & ebelle...
THANK YOU for the positive words!!! Now I will add u both to my little list in my head of 'BFPs from AI' : ) You both give me hope that it really can work. Sometimes I feel kinda silly doing this AI & wonder if I'm deluding myself- but without it we have no other option except going straight to a fertility specialist... Which I'll happily do if we have to, but knowing this can work just gives me additional hope.

I've had a chat to my gorgeous mum about it all tonite, & she gave me a pep talk too.

Thank you again girls, I really needed to hear from the likes of yourselves today : )

 

[c.30]

Hi Juniper, for the last 6 months that I was trying I was doing AI and only got 1 donation on the day of the +OPK and I'd usually OV the day after. And as you can see from the other ladies, this is all it takes

Does it matter that I didn't actually see any cm on the days I did the AI??

My cm would "dry up" around OV time which used to worry me, this is why I choose to use pre-seed, but only 1mg in the last 2 months (when I got pregnant) as too much can dilute the sperm apparantly. Lots of water also helped to make my cm fertile

 

[firechild30]

Good luck jules and leah! Jules- I think the questioning and crazy feelings are pretty normal around insem time. we are always like: are we doing this properly? Did it keep temp? Did I lay there long enough? Did we use too much preseed? Then after its like should we have done one more or started earlier?
I begin opk testing today. I just recently treated a yeast infection so I already feel like the odds are against us this cycle. have not got to schedule SA yet cause my doc has been out. and recently discovered that donors gf may be trying to get pregnant without his knowledge. don't know whether to say something to him. I know he is not ready for children of his own and they have not been together long but I don't want to create any tension with her and risk looking him as a donor- he is quite perfect.

 

[MrsMM24]

GOOD LUCK LEAH!!! What an awesome BFP that would be an Anny BFP!


JUNIPER, hang in there Hun, we have tried for years, and have gotten pregnant now for the 4th time. We have one DD and so far this one is sticking nicely! It CAN and it WILL happen for you!