Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[laurac1988]

Hi Hun. We found our donor online. There are lots of Facebook groups and things to wade through. I just posted a blog about finding a donor and have some useful links on my site. Link is in my sig

This thread is a mine of information!

 

[c.30]

Off the top of my head pride angel and pollen tree are both good sites. As Laura said, this thread is packed full of info

 

[burrr]

What country are you in? In the UK you can only get a truly anon donor through a clinic, though some people are shipping anon donor from a Danish cryobank to their homes.

You can meet donors online at places like pride angel, but you'll get some basic information as you'll have to meet up with them. You don't have to exchange full names or contact details other than an email address if you don't wish to though.

 

[beth_terri]

Thank you. Im in the UK. Im guessing then doing it that way there can be no guarantee of the donor being clear of STI's and other diseases? But I'll have a good look thanks x

 

[laurac1988]

Always ask for an STI certificate. Although they are basically only good at the time they are produced, if you ask for a donor to do one just before the donation you will get his recent results

 

[c.30]

A good reliable donor will always have up to date tests and possibly even mention/produce these without you even asking. That's my experience anyway

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I used online classifieds.

 

[Mafi419]

I found our (potential) donor online, on the pride angel website. We contacted some possible donors, but since we completed our profile on the website we were also contacted by several donors.

Our potential donor says that he has up to date tests, but there's always a little doubt on our side. Because if he has something bad, it could not show up in tests for 6 months. But I think the chance is pretty low (he has a girlfriend) and I think people take the same risk with their boyfriends, one night stands or whatever.

It was hard to convince my wife to accept a donor (that is not completely anonymous), but it really took a lot of worries from our minds (the money we would spend at fertility clinics and the low rates of success on the first try). Now I actually believe I can be pregnant soon a few months ago that seemed so far from my reality. I feel so confident with our decision that we already bought some baby clothes I know that we probably shouldn't, but I can't think about anything else now!

Good luck

 

[Mafi419]

A little update on my previous post. The donor had a change of heart. I even think what he told us was quite obnoxious. We always told him we would like to start TTC in May. Right now I have 3 jobs and my professional life is taking a lot of my time, so I don't have as much free time as I would like. The reason I have 3 jobs right now is because we want to have some financial stability when the baby comes. Because of my lack of time, and also because he didn't live in our city, I told him that we would be able to meet him in person at the end of March or beginning of April. We would still have plenty of time ahead of us (more then a month)! He answered with an impatient tone, saying that it would be better to meet us next weekend. I told him I couldn't and I even explained in detail why. Also, I asked him if he was getting impatient with us. He replied saying that his time is extremely valuable and shouldn't be wasted, and that he has requests from other women for help, that he doesn't like to turn down. He implied that we aren't really interested in him as a donor, and that we've been talking to other donors to decide on one later (while wasting his time!). This is completely false, we stopped looking for donors after we found him. I was completely shocked with this! Now we have to find another donor in time to start TTC in May! I'm so upset with all of this.

Did any of you ever went trough something like this with a donor?

 

[burrr]

I think you've had a lucky escape, if he's awkward over meeting up, imagine how he'd be if your cycle did something unpredictable and you had to ask him to donate last minute at a different time. Not that helps, when you are feeling under pressure to find someone in a given time frame.

You have time to find another donor, there will be someone nicer and more helpful.

I'm in my second 2ww today, thinking about testing tomorrow. The first 2ww was awful but this one hasn't been as bad. I seemed to have loads of symptoms last time but bfn, and none this time. Not going to read anything into that though. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

 

[Mafi419]

You are probably right, but I'm really trying very hard not to cry right now. The only good thing about this is that my wife saw how upset I was, and is now trying really hard to find a suitable donor for us...and I don't think she was so involved before.

I really deeply hope you get wonderful news tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you sending you good vibes! Please do let us know how it went!

 

[laurac1988]

Hun he sounds like an idiot. No donor should be pressuring you to start. He sounds awful I think you had a lucky escape. Hopefully the right donor for you both is just around the corner

I'm still waiting for ov. +OPK expected tomorrow or Tuesday

 

[iBeach]

Hello everyone..

I haven't posted in a while, but I read every day about your journey...

Congratulations on new babies and those who got their BFP!

For those who don't know me, I am 28 years old TTC my baby number 1 with a known donor. My donor is gay and has been with his boyfriend for over 20 years. I also have a boyfriend, but he had vasectomy that is not reversible, so donor is the only option.

We will co-parent together...

So...as of today... I am 16DPO!! tested and so far BFN....I feel like AF is on her way, but so far didn't make it here....( I hope she stays away).

We are inseminating at home with fresh sperm, preseed and softcup.

 

[Mafi419]

iBeach, i hope everything works out perfect this cycle please do let us know.

Laura, you are probably right, but still...

Anyway, we started contacting other potential donors and so far we got one email. This potential donor said something that I found odd, but it might be perfectly natural. He said that he had a sexual health test, and he got an "all clear" text message, because when everything is fine they just text "all clear". Have you ever heard of it?

 

[laurac1988]

Yeah some clinics do do that x

 

[c.30]

Yep, I got myself tested before I started TTC and I got the text

 

[iBeach]

iBeach, i hope everything works out perfect this cycle please do let us know.

Laura, you are probably right, but still...

Anyway, we started contacting other potential donors and so far we got one email. This potential donor said something that I found odd, but it might be perfectly natural. He said that he had a sexual health test, and he got an "all clear" text message, because when everything is fine they just text "all clear". Have you ever heard of it?

Thank yoooou
I hope so....I hope to test positive or get my period, so I can move on....waiting is killing me

 

[GrassRoots]

beach, hope you get your bfp in a day or two! Fingers crossed!

Mafi, so sorry about the donor situation working out that way. How stressful and irritating but it does sound like you dodged a bullet with that weirdo. =/ Hope you find a great replacement asap!

 

[iBeach]

I started spotting this morning...I am so devastated....this is the first time I have been this late...

Oh well...onto a next cycle....

 

[laurac1988]

Sorry to hear that Hun xxxxx