Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[RubyRainbows]

Any incites on how to handle messaging back potential donors? I've started to have some replies to my 'ad' and most of them have been 'hi do you need a donor im available thanks.' type messages and a little part of me just thinks NONONONONO! right away, as I just can't deal with that sort of inane, inarticulate conversation... but then, I really want some swimmers, and these could be good men... Do I trust my gut or at least give a generic 'get to know you' reply?

Majorly hoping my known donor comes through and then none of this matters... but at this stage I can't put all my eggs in one basket! (pun totally intended lol)

Yeah, I would create a generic, friendly, cheerful, email response and copy/paste it to each potential donor with a list of questions that are important to you. It's really the only way to weed thru the guys and decide who will be best suited!! Good luck! Hope you find a great one in the batch!!

 

[RubyRainbows]

We inseminated yesterday and today (CD 14 and 15). It was very frustrating today. As soon as we inseminated with the syringe, it all seemed to immediately dribble back out! Which defies gravity?? Bc I had 2 pillows propped under my butt and my legs in the air - so why did it all spill back out????

 

[BrandiCanucks]

Ugh, I hate when that happens. It's such a waste. Sorry that happened.

I inseminated today too, and put a pad on, so that any spillage stayed at the opening of my vagina.

I have a sinking feeling, though, that this cycle is not going to work.

 

[Eidson23]

Have you ever tried soft cups?

 

[RubyRainbows]

Have you ever tried soft cups?

No, but we will have to practice with them and try for next cycle!

 

[Eidson23]

We had our donor deposit right into the soft cup and I inserted it into my wife like that on the cycle she became pregnant. Still have hopes for you! It seems like a lot comes out but those swimmers can be quick! Good luck!

 

[RubyRainbows]

We had our donor deposit right into the soft cup and I inserted it into my wife like that on the cycle she became pregnant. Still have hopes for you! It seems like a lot comes out but those swimmers can be quick! Good luck!

How long are the sperm viable for when in an open soft cup? I was thinking the sperm needs to stay in the sealed specimen cup to stay alive? There is usually about 5-10 mins for us between ejaculation and insem.

 

[Eidson23]

I'm not sure I know there was at least 5 minutes between ejac and insem for us and it was in the open soft cup. I figured with the sterile cup he was using, I wasn't getting all the swimmers and then the syringe was damaging them and that's why it failed. When we took out everything except the soft cup she got pregnant. I'm sure it's different for everyone and everyone is comfortable with different things but for me is was much easier.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I've done syringe and cup three times now (same donor) and always inseminated within 5 minutes of the deposit being made. Twice, I've conceived on the first try, one donation and I'll be testing April 8 to see if the third time really is a charm.

 

[kinney324]

New to this page and wanted to introduce myself! I'm a 28 year old woman who is 16 months into an international adoption with my husband (adopting from Ethiopia) but we've recently found out we have another 2+ years to go. As I feel myself getting older- and we are eager to get started with building a family since we both have always envisioned a family on the bigger side- we've decided to TTC in June. The only tricky part- my husband is trans. He was born with female anatomy- so we'll be using a sperm donor for pregnancies.

I swear- I have spent two days now with the computer on my lap 20 hours per day- didn't even go to sleep this past night- trying to navigate all this. I've been doing mild research + tracking my cycle + taking prenatals for a few weeks now- but now its time to choose our source and my head is spinning. I get very intense with research sometimes- hah! We don't have anyone in our life we'd like to go with- so we will likely go with a sperm bank (or are also open to an open donor that we could connect with online).

While we are able to go with a more expensive bank should we need to (I really like Fairfax) due to the adoption- our finances are very tight- so we ideally would like a less expensive bank if possible. I really like NW Clinic- but there are only 4 donors that look at all like my husband- and all are unavailable at the moment. I found some options I really like on NY Cryos which is quite inexpensive (about 250.00 per vial)- but almost all of the donors on there are 5-10 million active sperm per .5ml and so they suggest to use 2 vials at once (so really 500.00 anyway) and that even feels a bit low. We are planning to start with ICI at home. I've done a lot of research on the actual insemination process- just don't know what direction to go in sperm wise. Any help?? I'm sure it's been asked a million times!

One other question. My BMI is 34- so not ideal. It's down from 39. I'm a clean, healthy eater for the most part- but often overeat at night and work a pretty sedentary job- so have gained weight over the last 5 or so years. I'm a size 12 and 5'5. Ideally I would have planned to be thinner when starting my TTC journey, I just don't see myself losing a lot of drastic weight by June. Hopefully another 10-15 pounds. Has anyone had similar numbers to me and done fine with their TTC journey? Due to my seasonal work schedule- I don't want to postpone too much if possible.

Thanks so much for reading my whole novel- and looking forward to any advice. Now back to reading everything else in this thread that I already started with!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Hi Kinney! Welcome! I 1st bought frozen from a place in San Fran and then in NYC - but quickly depleted our saved TTC money. We have tried off/on over the past 5+ years.... whenever we had money to try again. We have used both frozen and fresh. There are websites where you can find known donors - just be careful of course weeding thru to find a good one. Right now we are trying with a known donor friend. We are on month 2 of trying after taking a LONG break (like 2 years)! I was waiting to lose weight as well. But I would be thrilled to be a size 12! I think you are perfectly fine TTC at your current weight! Glad you found this group! I think you will find a lot of useful information here!

 

[kinney324]

Thanks so much for your feedback! Glad to hear that you think I'm probably okay to TTC at my BMI- I was concerned about that. I checked out KDR and found a few good options within a couple hour drive- so I might consider that. It makes me nervous for some reason tho! How does it usually work? I don't want it to feel overly intimate and make my partner feel odd... do people just usually meet at a hotel, the guy does what he has to do, and then hands you the cup and walks out? Haha sorry for the odd questions!

And good luck as you start up again!!

 

[RubyRainbows]

We would rent a hotel room... set everything up in the room... and then wait in the lobby while he did his business. He would come out - we said our goodbyes - and he left. We then went up to the room to inseminate. I would recommend not being alone in the hotel room with him, especially since he is basically a stranger - at least initially. We always sat in the lobby to discuss/sign the contract initially on the 1st mtg.

 

[kerrycharla]

Back again...

So now we are confused, AF came but not for long and was very light...

Wife did an OPK today and it was positive which is strange and about 4 days earl. Decided to do a pregnancy test (well 2) too as havent done one since af and there is a very faint line, didnt do it till 7pm.

But we are confused, would it be faint still 23 dpo if it was positive?

Confused!!!!

 

[kerrycharla]

These are the tests.... Opinions please

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I see the lines. LH and HCG are molecularly similar, so OPKs will pick up both, and often will pick it up before an HPT picks up the hcg. HCG has an "extra" molecule than LH, which is what the HPTs look for.

I'm gonna go ahead and say that if the OPK was positive, and you're getting faint lines on the HPT, you're pregnant. With the bleeding, it could be implantation bleeding, a miscarriage, or something else. Best to call the doctor for betas. Good luck!

 

[kinney324]

We would rent a hotel room... set everything up in the room... and then wait in the lobby while he did his business. He would come out - we said our goodbyes - and he left. We then went up to the room to inseminate. I would recommend not being alone in the hotel room with him, especially since he is basically a stranger - at least initially. We always sat in the lobby to discuss/sign the contract initially on the 1st mtg.

Thanks! Great feedback! I'm thinking perhaps we should consider having him come back the next day too (before we check out) so we have two tries going at once? Would you suggest that?

 

[RubyRainbows]

We would rent a hotel room... set everything up in the room... and then wait in the lobby while he did his business. He would come out - we said our goodbyes - and he left. We then went up to the room to inseminate. I would recommend not being alone in the hotel room with him, especially since he is basically a stranger - at least initially. We always sat in the lobby to discuss/sign the contract initially on the 1st mtg.

Thanks! Great feedback! I'm thinking perhaps we should consider having him come back the next day too (before we check out) so we have two tries going at once? Would you suggest that?

That would be ideal! That was always our goal too (depending on the circumstances)! But depending on distance and day of the week, sometimes we were only able to check in - stay for a couple hours - and then check out.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Back again...

So now we are confused, AF came but not for long and was very light...

Wife did an OPK today and it was positive which is strange and about 4 days earl. Decided to do a pregnancy test (well 2) too as havent done one since af and there is a very faint line, didnt do it till 7pm.

But we are confused, would it be faint still 23 dpo if it was positive?

Confused!!!!

I see the lines - good luck!! Can you call your doc and request a blood test to confirm?

 

[kerrycharla]

Who wouldve thought thiswould be so confusing.. Did 3 strips and a clear blue normal last night, all positive. Did a strip this morning, positive but the clwar blue digital says 'not pregnant'.