Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?
- Thread starter RubyRainbows
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Erin - my cycles are anywhere between 29 - 33 days and i ovulate around 19, 20, 21 days! So yeah... it's def still possible for you this cycle! Fingers crossed!
EpdTTC
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So..I finally got my positive OPK last night around 7pm. I felt bad because my donor had a long day of driving home from vacation (about 9 hours) and I had to hit him up. I thought that we had clearly covered all of the topics about timing and the number of times per cycle I would need his stuff but I'm starting to wonder. Does anybody else feel intrusive when they have to contact their donor to produce the "goods"? It is really hard for me to ask so much of someone, and I am not at all a shy or unassertive person so it is odd for me to feel this way. Maybe it's just the whole process that is difficult.
Anyway, after being somewhat evasive about when he might be home, I did hear from my donor about 10:15pm last night and I had the goods by 10:50. We did our insemination about 11:30pm. I'm hoping all goes well.
I really want to do another insemination today or tonight since I just got my positive OPK last night but when I text messaged my donor he replied with "I'll text you later if I'm able". I know he has another busy day, he is a doc student and works three jobs and has a girlfriend (who is supportive of him doing this and whom they are moving in today, thus the extra busy schedule today) but I was hoping more for a WHEN, not an IF. I felt disappointed. I felt like maybe he has changed his mind or that he thought he could do this but is now finding it to be a PIA. Maybe I'm just sensitive or paranoid. I don't want to press him at this point. I feel like he knows what I want, and if he still wants to do this he will contact me later today. I do think that after this cycle, maybe in a week or so that we should sit down and talk about the experience from both of our perspectives and what it felt like for both of us, maybe clarify some time issues and expectations for number of donations per cycle, and make sure he is still committed to helping me. He really is an amazing guy, but his schedule is pretty chaotic.
I will keep you posted on my TWW and whether or not my donor sticks it out or I do another insemination today.
Erin
Anyway, after being somewhat evasive about when he might be home, I did hear from my donor about 10:15pm last night and I had the goods by 10:50. We did our insemination about 11:30pm. I'm hoping all goes well.
I really want to do another insemination today or tonight since I just got my positive OPK last night but when I text messaged my donor he replied with "I'll text you later if I'm able". I know he has another busy day, he is a doc student and works three jobs and has a girlfriend (who is supportive of him doing this and whom they are moving in today, thus the extra busy schedule today) but I was hoping more for a WHEN, not an IF. I felt disappointed. I felt like maybe he has changed his mind or that he thought he could do this but is now finding it to be a PIA. Maybe I'm just sensitive or paranoid. I don't want to press him at this point. I feel like he knows what I want, and if he still wants to do this he will contact me later today. I do think that after this cycle, maybe in a week or so that we should sit down and talk about the experience from both of our perspectives and what it felt like for both of us, maybe clarify some time issues and expectations for number of donations per cycle, and make sure he is still committed to helping me. He really is an amazing guy, but his schedule is pretty chaotic.
I will keep you posted on my TWW and whether or not my donor sticks it out or I do another insemination today.
Erin
molliedollie
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Hey everyone!
Erin,
Glad to hear that things are progressing nicely with you and the donor. The first donor I used back in October was really Johnny on the spot and really had no issues with being there when I needed him but I later found out he lied about his age to me and that was a deal killer for me, sperm or no sperm.
I have found another and will be inseminating tonight as I got my pos OPK today! We will hopefully be able to do tomorrow and Tuesday night as well. I know the chances are better if you inseminate the day before and day of. I guess the dy after is just a bonus, lol.
As for the longer cycles - last month was the first time I tried the OPK and I got a pos on the 17th day and this month (today) my pos is on day 15. I do have PCOS so it is hard to guage...
Keep us posted!!
Erin,
Glad to hear that things are progressing nicely with you and the donor. The first donor I used back in October was really Johnny on the spot and really had no issues with being there when I needed him but I later found out he lied about his age to me and that was a deal killer for me, sperm or no sperm.
I have found another and will be inseminating tonight as I got my pos OPK today! We will hopefully be able to do tomorrow and Tuesday night as well. I know the chances are better if you inseminate the day before and day of. I guess the dy after is just a bonus, lol.
As for the longer cycles - last month was the first time I tried the OPK and I got a pos on the 17th day and this month (today) my pos is on day 15. I do have PCOS so it is hard to guage...
Keep us posted!!
LunaBean
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EpdTTC - I sometimes feel intrusive too, tho our new donor is fine about short notice (even tho he went AWOL last week, but there had been a death). I think that next time you text, you should jokingly say something like 'Hope I'm not being a pain!' and gae his response. I'm sure if he felt you were being a pain he'd just say. Tho sometimes men just ignore things. We once had a donor who told us he had glandular fever and couldn't help us that month, next night my OH's brother bumps into him in a club! That was his farewell.
I think some people think it's a good idea at the time, but it gets in the way of their lives, so they back off abit, hoping you'll call it off rather than them.
I've just had someone new contact me after seeing my ad and wants to help us out, he lives quite close too, and doesn't want any contact, like our current donor. His girlfriend can't have kids and doesn't want any, and he wants to donate so he knows someone out there is carrying on his genes, his girlfriend knows this and supports him. What do you guys think about using two donors at the same time? Neither want any sort of contact after, so would it really matter? I'd be doubling my chances every month, 4 inseminations instead of one or 2, I don't know tho. Any thoughts?
I think some people think it's a good idea at the time, but it gets in the way of their lives, so they back off abit, hoping you'll call it off rather than them.
I've just had someone new contact me after seeing my ad and wants to help us out, he lives quite close too, and doesn't want any contact, like our current donor. His girlfriend can't have kids and doesn't want any, and he wants to donate so he knows someone out there is carrying on his genes, his girlfriend knows this and supports him. What do you guys think about using two donors at the same time? Neither want any sort of contact after, so would it really matter? I'd be doubling my chances every month, 4 inseminations instead of one or 2, I don't know tho. Any thoughts?
EpdTTC
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Thank you all for your replies. It is so nice to have others out there who understand all of the aspects of this process and how obsessive it can become, and make one feel quite crazy at times.
I ended up getting a call from my donor yesterday shortly after I posted here. At first he was saying he was really busy and didn't think he would be able to do it. i said "ok" but I'm sure i sounded disappointed. He then said he was going to go for a run and that maybe we could do it after that. I asked if he was still ok with all of this or if he felt differently and he said he was still ok with it and he didn't feel differently, he was just feeling very stressed because he is so busy. We decided that sometime in the evening would work and I'd wait to hear from him. And I told him that after this he would be off donor duty for about 3.5 weeks. Hopefully that helped remind him that it won't always be like this.
I got his call about 8:00 pm and had the goods by 8:15 and did the insem by 8:50. Now it is time for the tww. This is my first cycle inseminating so I'm trying not to have any big expectations. I know that logically most people don't get pregnant the first time around. I will keep you posted.
I do have a couple of questions for those of you out there who are using known donor sperm, how do you keep it warm until you use it? What do you collect it in? How soon after you get it do you use it? How long afterward do you feel safe bathing? I know these questions may seem silly, I'm just curious what others do or what might be best.
Also, Lizzie Moon, I don't see anything wrong with two donors but you might find in the future that you wish you knew who it was. It might be complicated, mentally and legally, to get a paternity test to find out. I think that the two main reasons people use known donors is that it is cheap and that that way they know a bit about where the DNA from their offspring comes from-what the person looks like, what they like, etc. I guess if you use two donors you won't know the answer to these questions, at least not for sure. If you are okay with that then I say go for it. if you think that may pose a problem later that maybe it's not such a good idea. just my two cents.
Erin
I ended up getting a call from my donor yesterday shortly after I posted here. At first he was saying he was really busy and didn't think he would be able to do it. i said "ok" but I'm sure i sounded disappointed. He then said he was going to go for a run and that maybe we could do it after that. I asked if he was still ok with all of this or if he felt differently and he said he was still ok with it and he didn't feel differently, he was just feeling very stressed because he is so busy. We decided that sometime in the evening would work and I'd wait to hear from him. And I told him that after this he would be off donor duty for about 3.5 weeks. Hopefully that helped remind him that it won't always be like this.
I got his call about 8:00 pm and had the goods by 8:15 and did the insem by 8:50. Now it is time for the tww. This is my first cycle inseminating so I'm trying not to have any big expectations. I know that logically most people don't get pregnant the first time around. I will keep you posted.
I do have a couple of questions for those of you out there who are using known donor sperm, how do you keep it warm until you use it? What do you collect it in? How soon after you get it do you use it? How long afterward do you feel safe bathing? I know these questions may seem silly, I'm just curious what others do or what might be best.
Also, Lizzie Moon, I don't see anything wrong with two donors but you might find in the future that you wish you knew who it was. It might be complicated, mentally and legally, to get a paternity test to find out. I think that the two main reasons people use known donors is that it is cheap and that that way they know a bit about where the DNA from their offspring comes from-what the person looks like, what they like, etc. I guess if you use two donors you won't know the answer to these questions, at least not for sure. If you are okay with that then I say go for it. if you think that may pose a problem later that maybe it's not such a good idea. just my two cents.
Erin
LunaBean
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I guess, tho if I was using a clinic, I wouldn't knwo where it came from either!
For your other questions, I collect it in sterile pots I get off the internet, and keep it warm in my pocket while I get it home. From it's 'out' until I use it, it's no more than about 30 mins. About an hour after, I have a 'clean up', but it's ok to shower/bath if you want, I just don't want any leaking out!
For your other questions, I collect it in sterile pots I get off the internet, and keep it warm in my pocket while I get it home. From it's 'out' until I use it, it's no more than about 30 mins. About an hour after, I have a 'clean up', but it's ok to shower/bath if you want, I just don't want any leaking out!
Lizzie, Glad your donor got back in touch!
Erin, welcome to the club! I felt very bad about asking the donor to donate so many times last month (I thought I was ovulating earlier than I really was, and ended up doing 4 inseminations to cover the critical period). This month I should have it more together! I just apologized and thanked him a lot. Since this isn't his first time donating, he is probably used to this sort of thing.
As for your questions, I've been using the sperm within 10-15 minutes of getting it - but the donor has come to my house/hotel room to donate then left. It should be good for longer than that though if the container is airtight. I am using a specimen cup to collect/store it in.
I was away for Thanksgiving holiday and managed to spend a whole 5 days not thinking obsessively about TTC and sperm. It was a good break! Crazy how consuming this all can be.
Erin, welcome to the club! I felt very bad about asking the donor to donate so many times last month (I thought I was ovulating earlier than I really was, and ended up doing 4 inseminations to cover the critical period). This month I should have it more together! I just apologized and thanked him a lot. Since this isn't his first time donating, he is probably used to this sort of thing.
As for your questions, I've been using the sperm within 10-15 minutes of getting it - but the donor has come to my house/hotel room to donate then left. It should be good for longer than that though if the container is airtight. I am using a specimen cup to collect/store it in.
I was away for Thanksgiving holiday and managed to spend a whole 5 days not thinking obsessively about TTC and sperm. It was a good break! Crazy how consuming this all can be.
MaybeMomSarah
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I'm doing another round of insems this weekend. Using Conceive Plus this time - crossing fingers!
MaybeMomSarah
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Oooohh, I'm glad you're inseming around the same time, Em. Someone I can compare notes with. 
yeah, I'm still debating whether I'll try egg whites or not. Probably I'll just decide last minute. I decided to order more cervical caps with stems to help - I don't know if they'll get here in time, but assuming they do, I'm just not sure if using that works well with adding egg whites. If I'm just using an instead cup then I'll definitely add either preseed or egg whites.
complicated, huh. Further complicating matters is the fact that I'm fighting off a low-level yeast/thrush thing at the moment... but I think I'll have it under control in time for insemination time. I hope that doesn't make it harder for the swimmers... this is part of why I'd prefer to use the cervical cap with stem this month if it gets here - the less vaginal exposure this week, the better!
probably TMI ... do you think the yeast thing will affect my chances this month?
complicated, huh. Further complicating matters is the fact that I'm fighting off a low-level yeast/thrush thing at the moment... but I think I'll have it under control in time for insemination time. I hope that doesn't make it harder for the swimmers... this is part of why I'd prefer to use the cervical cap with stem this month if it gets here - the less vaginal exposure this week, the better!
probably TMI ... do you think the yeast thing will affect my chances this month?
MaybeMomSarah
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I'm not sure about the yeast thing.
I've had a low-level yeast infection for most of my life - LOL. My gyn in America knew about it, and explained that it's just how my body is. It's not enough to ever be itchy or annoying. I did have a bad infection once after taking antibiotics, and I took some meds for that, but after the meds were done, I just went back to the way I am. The yeast is always "there", but not anything to worry about.
So, if it's a problem, I think we're both in a bit of trouble!
I've had a low-level yeast infection for most of my life - LOL. My gyn in America knew about it, and explained that it's just how my body is. It's not enough to ever be itchy or annoying. I did have a bad infection once after taking antibiotics, and I took some meds for that, but after the meds were done, I just went back to the way I am. The yeast is always "there", but not anything to worry about.
So, if it's a problem, I think we're both in a bit of trouble!
jodie4805
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Hi all
I'm doing home insemination with fresh sperm. The 1st 7 cycles I used a 5ml syringe, which I hated using. Last 2 cycles I've used a mooncup, sperm straight into the mooncup, so no syringes anymore & it feels loads better. I know they're deep, but I think that the sperm must drip out when you're laying down.
Currently in TWW.
I'm doing home insemination with fresh sperm. The 1st 7 cycles I used a 5ml syringe, which I hated using. Last 2 cycles I've used a mooncup, sperm straight into the mooncup, so no syringes anymore & it feels loads better. I know they're deep, but I think that the sperm must drip out when you're laying down.
Currently in TWW.
MaybeMomSarah
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We use a 10ml syringe. If it doesn't take this month, I'm going to try instead cups next month. I figure adding somethig new to help me out won't hurt. I'm trying with the Conceive Plus this month.
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