Cyber Cycle Sisters !! xx

[kanga]

Seriously though, consider if you were at your wits end (lets face it, a mother would not consider cc lightly), would you do cc?

I often feel like I have messed everything up with this child - failing at bf, giving him a dummy so he can't self settle - and I feel like I just want another baby so I can do it right. Ralph says I can't just "write this one off".

 

[hb1]

big hugs Rach, right there with you - ollie has been up every hour on the hour - and I am the dummy lol - he has a cold tho but last week was same thing as he had a tummy bug (which was awful as I got it to and felt like death - at one point I was feeding him and being sjck into a bucket at 3am ) and week b4 that it was teething.....we have also had regression on self settling
is Charlie more mobile recently so loosing his dummy in the night?
could you do the pantly pull out method? It's for weaning off need to nurse to sleep but is v gradual non cry method? Could it be 4 mth sleep regression? Oh and I have considered cc too - am a wimp and couldn't stick it either - don't let anyone make you feel judged hun.

bean bags in backroom?

oh and you HAVE NOT failed at anything! You have a gorgeous baby! And maybe a pamper day for you is in order and a daddy and son day for Ralph and Charlie....

aaaaawwwwww Jo - apart from all the poo it sounds like a lovely homecoming for Steve

v hard day today - long drive to see my gran - apparently she looks a bit better today so fxd! But I am physically and emitionally exhausted!
hx

 

[kanga]

Thanks Helen I found the pantly pull out method during some googling earlier so we are starting with that. Also ordered the 'no cry sleep solution' book so fx'd it arrives soon. We are doing shifts tonight - I am on earlys til 2am!

Right back at ya too. Gosh, you must be v tired esp going back to work too. And you can't exactly share your night shift. Poor you catching the tummy bug too. It's awful watching the lo with it (Charlies had one 3 weeks ago ) but when you're head-in-bucket too it must be v v difficult. I feel a bit selfish for my moan now.

He's not more mobile. Think he has just become a lot more reliant on the dummy. Have done 2 plugs tonight usng the new method so watch this space.

Lots of positive gran vibes coming your way. Grandparents are so amazing. x

Jo, absolutely love your signage idea! Ralph would absolutely love that. I once picked him up from the airport holding a little name card with a love heart on but you certainely win with your banner. Shame about the poo! x

 

[goddess25]

AW Rach how awful..

I am not really much help with helping to settle. I am afraid I totally lucked out having 2 babies that settle and sleep with the odd night, neither of them took dummies despite trying and they are able to self soothe. I hope that doesn't sound smug I don't mean it to be and believe me I absolutely know how lucky I am. In terms of CC, it wouldn't work for us because I would cave but I don't believe it does them any harm and if you can do it, it might be worth the try. I don't know what the pantly pull out method is but hope it works for you. I hope you get some sleep and feel better soon.

I know how you feel in relation to BF... I feel like a failure too but we are not. You did a lot to feed your baby and it just didn't work out, it does not make you less of a mummy to him. You have had a tough time with him, your doing your best and your doing a great job. He looks like a lovely happy baby.

In regards to your relationship with Ralph.. i think its normal. Babies really do put a big strain on relationships and I remember when Euan was born a friend who was already a mum told me to be careful and make sure that I tried to schedule some time for our relationship. We argue about stupid stuff like who is the most tired and we end up totally pissing each other off. Its hard when your exhausted to think about your partner and its difficult to keep everything running smoothly. You will be fine and get back on track again. We fight all the time too funnily enough on Steven's days off mainly.

I have to confess that I did giggle at your final 2 comments about no sofa for the sky room so no point. I say duvets on the floor with pillows super comfy (ok bit of a stretch but doable)

I am sure everything will be fine soon.

Helen - hope your Gran was ok when you saw her.


We are ok still not sure what we are doing. Steven isn't sure if moving to Nova Scotia is the right thing to do as we are moving our problems with us obviously. We are going to try and sell the house as planned and see what happens. Moving back to Edinburgh might be the best option. I could do with some support. I feel like a single mother really during the week. We don't really have any close friends and i go to classes and libraries but not up to much else. I am also worried about Steven from time to time, he is going through some sort of mid life crisis a bit early or he is depressed but refuses to do anything about it. I think being unhappy here for 5 years and our inability to make decisions, plus thinking about starting again with no jobs and no house is hard and stressful.

Anyway night night.

 

[goddess25]

Meant to say that Olivia is now crawling... she started today while we were on skype to Steven's parents! Very proud to see her go and she is super happy with herself. She thinks she is such a star and of course she is

 

[kanga]

Ah bless, well done clever girl! Great time to start too, bet the grandparents were super happy to see that milestone first hand.

Thanks for the relationship tip, will def work on that. You're right, its easy to maon about silly things and we need some more us time.

Sounds like some definitive decision making is required. I would just step back and think long about what you (*plural*)want your life to be and take today as the first day of that life. Decide about what you are going to do and be hapy with it and make it work. When I first moved away, I was always pining about home and didn't really make any proper friends until I said, right, this is it, this is where I live now, this is my life now.

Charlie went to 5.15 this morning. We are doing the PPo method. I fed him earlier today (6am). Suspect i may have been plugging the dummy in in previous mornings, to get a 'few more hours out of him' Anyways, hopefully this is onward and upward.

Silly me, I spent most of last night cat napping waiting for him to wake up, and of course, he didn't!!

 

[goddess25]

Rachel it sounds like you had a better night with the PPO method, must google it and see what it is. I know that feeling cat napping waiting for them to wake up.
Hopefully tonight is a good one too.

Your right I have held back in terms of making proper friends... I wouldn't mind being closer to home in the same country would be nice. We only see our families once a year roughly since its a long way no to mention expensive to get here and there. We won't see my parents again until September time next year and its just so sad to think about. Steven and I need to have a chunk of time and really discuss it, and figure out what our priorities are. My perfect scenario would be to stay here and have my family and friends come over too

Anyway Euan is not up yet and its 8am.. I have been awake since 5 waiting for him. Its unlike him better go and check that he is ok.

 

[hb1]

non of us are selfish getting out our woes -- it's cathartic! Way to go Charlie!

I vote edinburgh Jo - but I would as I love it, get a lovely flat in marchmont overlooking the meadows!

afm - am like a bad comedy as car tyre blew out on way to work - aaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhh!

 

[QueenieMurphy]

Oh Rach I know that exhausted feeling well - I did everything wrong with T sleeping wise - she didn't sleep through once till she was 10 months old!!! I havent had a proper nights sleep for a year now. She now generally sleeps till 5.30/6 and if we're really lucky 7 but thats a rare treat and when it happens I wake up and am too scared to go in her room as I think she won't be breathing!! Its that rare.

I just have resigned myself to it now and once idid that and stopped hoping for sleep it was better. In desperation I tried CC but she was hysterical and I couldn't do it, I wish I could of though.

I just say to myself well surely by the time shes 10 she'll sleep through and I can catch up then!

Had a scare yesterday - T ws all floppy when she woke - couldnt sit/crawl, then started vomiting, god I was scared - thinking meningitis etc, rushed to hospital, turns out to be a chest infection and not too serious, phew! The floppiness was horrid though.

Oh Tim and I always argue about minor things - while I was settling madam tonight(it took 90 mins!!!!!!!!!! I think because she's ill) I was listing in my head all the irritating things OH does as I was so pissed off he was downstairs eating his dinner and watching TV while I was exhausted up stairs AND he wants to DTD tonight. I think its all down to tiredness. And totally normal. Anyone who has a baby to 'save' a relationship must be totally barking.

Well done Livi with the crawling, its so fun isnt it when they get to teh next stage. T is pulling herself up on everything at mo but I still think we're a long way off walking or cruising. Shes still so tiny.

Rach - has the sofa turned up???

32 days till xmas - v v v excited xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[goddess25]

Helen, thanks. A flat in Marchmont would be way out of our price range besides I don't think I would want to be so close to all those students!

Lucy how horrible with Thalia, I would have been so scared too finding her floppy. I can only imagine the fright that you felt. Glad its nothing too serious. I can so imagine you trying to settle her seething about Tim downstairs having fun and wanting to DTD too. HAHAHHA... I would have been thinking no way if that was me.

 

[kanga]

Glad it was nothing serious with Thalia, that must have been very scary indeed. A parents worst nightmare.

Helen, its the week for car tyres. I had a warning that one of mine was flat and needed repacing but I just pumped it up and seem to be getting away with it so far. Don't ya just hate cars when they go wrong!

The sleep has been better the last few nights - although I have a horrible cold and sore throat which is keeping me awake now. And we did a new song at music class this week that I couldn't get out of my head all bloody night. Everytime I woke up to turn over I would sing it at least 4 times!

Lucy, just had a chuckle at your post 'and he wants to DTD tonight'. Sounds like Ralph - but I'm just not interested. 90-minute settle, that couldn't have been fun.

First night out for me on Saturday, just drinks in town, but should be nice to get a rest.

Disney's Christmas Carol is just on telly. We went to see this at the cinema in 3d straight after our first 12 week scan giving us the terrible news. Funny how life changes but certain feelings don't

 

[hb1]

ha ha jo - I was one of those students well done Olivia crawling!

lucy - that must've been scary! Oh and once they start pulling up it's only a matter of time - you may spend a lot of time hovering! Also -Go Tim!


rach for old feelings and cold

afm - tired! And Ollie fighting sleep- oh is upstairs doing pupd - had a regression on that with all the teething and illness so was nursing him down and he started biting me so oh started pupd, came down after a bit with ollie who had done a poo, back up but now can hear ollie and oh muttering about the sleeping bag - may have to go see........

 

[kanga]

I feel for you Helen. Have been rocking Charlie for his naps today, he's full of cold bless him and has almost lost his voice with his sore throat. I'll do anything for him to make him happy! Suspect I will pay for it at nap time tomorrow! Oh well!

You've achieved pupd once so it won't be long before he's back to his good ways

Sofa is coming next Weds, hurrah

Glass man came yesterday and replaced our broken panels, hurrah

Carpet man came today and will fit the landing carpet next Tues, hurrah

Sky man cam yesterday and today I spotted he has botched the wiring. And not done it as we discussed. Darn. So he needs to come back.

3 out of 4 aint bad

Just need to make Archie realise that he can't sit on my new chair (bought an Ikea cream nursing chair from ebay for the living room, its well comfy) as his black hairs are not a good look for when friends come over ...

 

[QueenieMurphy]

Well T went straight down tonight at 7, such a relief after last night.

I feel really ropey and think about to get the cold that she and OH had last week. Joy.

Helen - made me laugh you saying OH was 'muttering' about sleeping bag, Tim is always 'muttering' about things. Or asking questions that he should know answer to after a year of being a parent. Men!

Rach - sorry about the film bringing back the feelings. And your cold, hopefully you'll shake it off asap. Sounds like your house will be all sorted by the end of next week! Hurrah Hurrah. Have given up trying to stop my cats doing anything. Maybe put a throw over it when you're not sitting on it!!

Am off to peruse the TTC section - I have lost my initial excitement at TTC again as just so exhausted but crucial days coming up so will have to find energy to BD!! Maybe some redbull will help!

xxx

 

[goddess25]

Rach I know what you mean when you said that certain feelings don't change. Its nice that we all went through this together so we know what you mean and how you feel.

Glad you are getting a few things sorted out now.

Sounds like a lot of you are getting colds, we have them over here too. Tis the season. Poor little Charlie though, hope he gets better soon.

We are having a few problems with Euan. I mentioned a long time ago that he was being violent which every child goes through in some degree however, He is still hitting and has never got over this phase. He does it every day from once to losing count. We spend hours and hours through the week with naughty steps etc. Its really getting to us both now and we are thinking that maybe he has something wrong with him as its excessive. His behaviour over the past few days has gotten much worse due to his little sister now being able to crawl. Of course she wants to play with all his toys and tries to dismantle his train tracks, take away his cars and generally just annoy him. Its quite funny watching and I know its normal but all he has been doing since yesterday is push Olivia over all day. As soon as she goes near him he rushes up and pushes her over, and we caught him today putting his foot out trying to get her to fall over. He really is very naughty and I am not sure how to deal with it. I am sure once he gets used to it, he will be fine and I hope that he is just a normal child. We speak calmly, je knows what is wrong and he apologises after his naughty step stay and gets a cuddle. But nothing sticks in there. He will do it again 2 minutes later.

 

[kanga]

Jo, what a dilemma. I've no experience with toddlers but have heard of the naughty step. There is a toddler dilemma in my 'baby and pregnancy' monthly magazine and this month it was a toddler who wouldn't speak since its younger sibling was born. The advice was to try and bottom out what was underlying it. Turned out the toddler felt uninvolved (I'm not saying Euan is in anyway!) in things so the mother should give her things to do when out and about - her own shopping list in the supermarket. Choices between A and B whenever possible. And help make choices for baby (which nappies should we get). Not sure if that will help at all, but its all I got I'm afraid. Hopefully with a like all these random things we face, it is a phase

 

[kanga]

Hope you get your mojo for ovulation Lucy

 

[goddess25]

You are right. I know the root cause of his naughtyness is his sister, he is jealous of her and he is jealous of the time that is given to her. Its really hard because I find that we give most of our time to Euan in the day time to the detriment of his sister. She gets way way less attention than he does. What he needs is more alone time with us.
We just need to keep working at it I suppose.

We started off the day nicely. Euan wandered into my room just after 7am, he came into bed with me and we had a really nice snuggle and chat, he told me he loved me, he told me I was funny and that he was very happy. 10 minutes later and 4 hits to the face later.. as Livi was in our room now getting some milk he was rancid. Its 10.40am and he has had his train track taken apart and confiscated, his cars taken away and his fire truck taken away, he has been told no tv, and I didnt take him to dance class because he was so naughty. He has pushed Livi over so many times that I stopped counting. I intensely dislike my child today!

 

[kanga]

It must be so diffcult with two Jo, you can only do your best and that is what you are doing so don't be hard on yourself. There will come a day when they will love playing together x

Newsflash 1 - Charlie went to sleep tonight with minimal fuss and NO DUMMY. He also put himself out for a nap (while in his pushchair) with no help or cues from me and he was snuggling on his mussy and no dummy

Newsflash 2 - did a hpt this morning and it was negative. Thank God. Was worrie dthis morning that I was pg and thought how I'm not ready yet and dont want another now. I want to enjoy Charles and go back to work next year for a bit.

So its over to you in the ttc stakes Lucy!! xx

 

[goddess25]

Rachel what a great night with Charlie and no dummy, well done. What a breakthrough.

Glad your PG test was negative. It is nice to return to work for a little bit. I don't know what the rules are in the UK but over here you have to work a certain amount of hours before you can qualify for maternity leave again, paid maternity leave that is. Its so worth it to do!

I know your right we are doing our best, we just need to ride it out. I feel so bad for little Olivia but I know that Euan must be very upset too, to be doing these things!

Don't let it put any of you off the 2nd child though