Cycle 1 day 1. Who's with me? *update* It's a girl! Congrats baby_bray!!!

[Twinkie210]

moter- glad you found something you can do and have fun with the Twilight marathon I have never seen any of the movies or read any of the books, I think I am the only one on the planet who hasn't!

colta- I hope the unpacking is going well! I hate stuff like that, but it always feels good when you get it done! Yay for the countdown to adoption intake meeting!!

berdc- Wow, that is quite a bill!

mail- it looks like your daughter did good, but I have never even ridden a horse, so I don't know what I am looking for! She impressed me though

Well we put the wall border up in little guy's room. It looked fine when we went to bed, but when I looked at it this morning two of the walls bubbled! I am so mad. For now I am leaving it, but I think I need to buy new border and redo it For now though I just want to get everything else done so his room will be ready whenever he decides to make his grand appearance. Oh and as of right now I am pretty sure he is still breech He needs to turn already! He now has 11 days to decide to turn.

 

[mailcmm]

Moter... Sounds like you are adjusting fine. So glad I was super worried about you. Really happy you are gonna do the bed rest though. I think it's the right choice.

Colta... I hate moving. Totally dont envy you that job. Lol and I can't wait for your meeting. And come around more. We miss you. You are still part of our group and definitely expecting... Albeit a somewhat larger baby. Lol in my book what you are doing is an amazing wonderful thing and just as major as if you were bringing a baby into the world. And you can have an adoption party. Have you ought of maybe taking on siblings so that they could stay together? I think that would be awesome too. So many are separated or never get adopted because they want to stay together.

Twinkie.... You are most likely gonna have to redo. I have never had any luck with wall paper fixes and it never seems to right itself. Would love some pics of what you've been doing though.

Menb... Where have you been girl. We would love some twin news!

Berdc... Anytime you want to post more pics of the lovely Olivia I am ready to look at them lol

Afm.... Stood in a fireant hill yesterday and have 100s of bites. Also had to have dinner at the fils house. And always leave feeling hated. So I didn't sleep well last night and am overall cranky. Been crying and sleeping on and off all day. I know it's mostly hormones but I am sad. It's also my dads bday and I have to cook dinner for the fam. My brother and his wife are coming and I just want to tell them to stay home. I may have a meltdown if they bring any of their ridiculous drama today.

 

[moter98]

Ds comes home tonight yay!!!!!! Cannot wait to see him and get his hugs. They are the best hugs in the whole world.

I'm sorry your fil was so mean to you mail? Just don't understand why some people are that way. Just know that you are a Great person and you cannot change or help someone else's behavior.

 

[mailcmm]

Thanks Moter. He's not really mean but completely over looks my presence. It's awful being there knowing I wouldnt be missed if I disappear. And being pregnant makes it worse. Maybe I am too sensitive about it but I know I am not imagining it as sil has told me several times that he rather dh be with someone else. Preferably lots of someone else's. Lol so I spent my day crying and mad and yelling at dh who is blameless. Dh was also working hard at putting together my dads bday dinner. He didn't deserve it. But I am slightly better now that I got it off my chest.

So glad you will be getting lots of hugs. I bet you miss those like air. How are you feeling otherwise though.

 

[moter98]

Ds is home yayyyy!

I feel the same yet. Still having AF type cramps off and on that I just know aren't normal. Tiny bit of spotting this morning. Still hopeful that things are healing in there. I know I may have more bleeding cause I did have an active bleed. The blood will have to go somewhere. Hoping most of it is being reabsorbed.

That is awful that your fil treats you that way. That would really hurt me too. It's his ignorance and his loss though. He's missing out on a great daughter in law. He's really only hurting himself in the long run. Just think how unhappy of a person he must be if he is that way to you.

 

[colta]

Mail - Hope this doesn't come off too rude/mean/etc... but your FIL sounds like a miserable old goat. Kudos to you for not giving into his weird misogynistic tendencies. My In-laws were both like that for a time (they've since gotten better), they considered me a bad influence because I helped my DH develop a backbone when it came to them... Anywho, rant over... good on you for being awesome and sticking through all the craziness.

Motor - Glad ds is home... glad you're still hanging in there. Just thought I'd do a little bit of research on my own (I know you've done plenty) to get some info that might help reduce a bit of your worry.
From what I can find... placental tears (especially small ones) are quite common, 1 in 100 and the term tear is kind of used interchangeably with abruption. From what I can find, abruption is the placenta detaching from the uterus. I'm not sure where yours is, but from what I've read... most people who did develop a tear didn't really have any detachment.
Also, there is an overwhelming amount of women who have had tears in the 2nd trimester, went on bedrest, healed (trend seems to be about 3 weeks) and went on to deliver perfectly healthy babies. I'd say the odds are in your favor with this one. Just relax (as best you can), drink lots of water and get your electrolytes/vitamins in (replace that bit you lost) to help speed the clotting process and you'll be good to go in no time.

 

[colta]

BTW.... just wanted to thank ya'll for continuing to keep me part of your group. It's been an emotional couple months coming to the decision to adopt and stop actively TTC and I really appreciate the support.
Sadly there hasn't been a lot of support in my day to day life... My in-laws think it's a bad idea and keep speaking to dh when I'm not around about how we shouldn't adopt right now and how we should just move on and not worry about kids. DH's grandmother almost had a heart attack when she found out... my MIL scrambled and said it would take a few years to calm her down when I was trying to explain things... His whole family has been nothing but negative with regards to adoption.
My family is more indifferent, it was interesting for a few minutes and now they couldn't much care. My brother keeps telling me we shouldn't be so worried about having kids, although I think this stems from a worry that we'll abandon him once we adopt. (He kinda sees me and DH as the only stable adults in his life, we pretty much raised him from the time he was 10 years old).

Eh... it's just been a bit upsetting I suppose. Ah well, they'll all get over it in time I suppose. I just figured people would be a bit more happy about things, I guess my in-laws and parents don't really realize that by us adopting, we're not just becoming parents... they're becoming grandparents... whether they like it or not.

 

[mailcmm]

Colta... It doesn't surprise me at all that they are having that reaction. I know people who have adopted and it took family forever to accept the situation. There is a stigma that surrounds adopted children. They come from not just wrecked but demolished homes. What if they have problems? They aren't our blood. The blood bit was actually just used in my presence. Fils new wife (they have been married a year or 2) told me she wasn't coming to the shower because Dhs mom would be there. In that I don't blame her Dhs mom is a nut and it would be awful. But then she said after all it's her grand baby not mine. Maybe not by blood but when we visit fil what is Finn supposed to call her. Some people are morons. Look at aunts and uncles they aren't always blood. My sil doesn't share a drop with my kids but still considers them family. An dh totally feels her children are his niece and nephew. But dhs sister wont let my kids call her aunt. She says she's not their aunt but is super excited about Finn. I don't get people. And the first time my kids recognize the differential treatment will be the last time she sees us. My main concern is that they dont sway your Dhs mind. Hopefully he will stay the course. But be prepared because I doubt it will stop. Fil asked dh why he would want to be saddled with someone else's kids. So even though my kids are mine I know exactly what you are going thru. Luckily my man says things like they are my kids too. Maybe not by blood but I have helped raise them and love them just the same. Some people have a different definition of family. Mine has nothing to do with blood. I think you inlaws need to stop acting like you are getting a used car without the car fax and start being supportive. And I hate to say it but unless dh says this is what we want to do if y'all don't like it tuff they are going to continue to voice an opinion.

 

[Twinkie210]

Here are some pics from his room, it is so small that I can't get a good wide shot of anything, LOL, but you can get the idea. DH refuses to redo the wallpaper border, so for now it is staying up all bubbled.

 

[moter98]

Mail - Hope this doesn't come off too rude/mean/etc... but your FIL sounds like a miserable old goat. Kudos to you for not giving into his weird misogynistic tendencies. My In-laws were both like that for a time (they've since gotten better), they considered me a bad influence because I helped my DH develop a backbone when it came to them... Anywho, rant over... good on you for being awesome and sticking through all the craziness.

Motor - Glad ds is home... glad you're still hanging in there. Just thought I'd do a little bit of research on my own (I know you've done plenty) to get some info that might help reduce a bit of your worry.
From what I can find... placental tears (especially small ones) are quite common, 1 in 100 and the term tear is kind of used interchangeably with abruption. From what I can find, abruption is the placenta detaching from the uterus. I'm not sure where yours is, but from what I've read... most people who did develop a tear didn't really have any detachment.
Also, there is an overwhelming amount of women who have had tears in the 2nd trimester, went on bedrest, healed (trend seems to be about 3 weeks) and went on to deliver perfectly healthy babies. I'd say the odds are in your favor with this one. Just relax (as best you can), drink lots of water and get your electrolytes/vitamins in (replace that bit you lost) to help speed the clotting process and you'll be good to go in no time.

thanks colta. yes, i have been researching this extensively. from what i gather, dr's don't put much stock in bedrest, but those that have had an abruption seem to think it helps. so that's what i'm doing. and basically it can go either way, but my chances are better because it is a small tear. i have af type cramps off and on all day and night and this is what is really worrying me. i know it's not a normal pregnancy feeling and really scares me.

 

[moter98]

BTW.... just wanted to thank ya'll for continuing to keep me part of your group. It's been an emotional couple months coming to the decision to adopt and stop actively TTC and I really appreciate the support.
Sadly there hasn't been a lot of support in my day to day life... My in-laws think it's a bad idea and keep speaking to dh when I'm not around about how we shouldn't adopt right now and how we should just move on and not worry about kids. DH's grandmother almost had a heart attack when she found out... my MIL scrambled and said it would take a few years to calm her down when I was trying to explain things... His whole family has been nothing but negative with regards to adoption.
My family is more indifferent, it was interesting for a few minutes and now they couldn't much care. My brother keeps telling me we shouldn't be so worried about having kids, although I think this stems from a worry that we'll abandon him once we adopt. (He kinda sees me and DH as the only stable adults in his life, we pretty much raised him from the time he was 10 years old).

Eh... it's just been a bit upsetting I suppose. Ah well, they'll all get over it in time I suppose. I just figured people would be a bit more happy about things, I guess my in-laws and parents don't really realize that by us adopting, we're not just becoming parents... they're becoming grandparents... whether they like it or not.

i'm sorry you are not getting support from your family colta. that is awful! i have some adopted cousins, our family has always been pro-adoption. they are def family and not seen or treated any differently. perhaps they will come around when your little one is here and they realize that is their granchild niece/nephew, etc.

 

[moter98]

Colta... It doesn't surprise me at all that they are having that reaction. I know people who have adopted and it took family forever to accept the situation. There is a stigma that surrounds adopted children. They come from not just wrecked but demolished homes. What if they have problems? They aren't our blood. The blood bit was actually just used in my presence. Fils new wife (they have been married a year or 2) told me she wasn't coming to the shower because Dhs mom would be there. In that I don't blame her Dhs mom is a nut and it would be awful. But then she said after all it's her grand baby not mine. Maybe not by blood but when we visit fil what is Finn supposed to call her. Some people are morons. Look at aunts and uncles they aren't always blood. My sil doesn't share a drop with my kids but still considers them family. An dh totally feels her children are his niece and nephew. But dhs sister wont let my kids call her aunt. She says she's not their aunt but is super excited about Finn. I don't get people. And the first time my kids recognize the differential treatment will be the last time she sees us. My main concern is that they dont sway your Dhs mind. Hopefully he will stay the course. But be prepared because I doubt it will stop. Fil asked dh why he would want to be saddled with someone else's kids. So even though my kids are mine I know exactly what you are going thru. Luckily my man says things like they are my kids too. Maybe not by blood but I have helped raise them and love them just the same. Some people have a different definition of family. Mine has nothing to do with blood. I think you inlaws need to stop acting like you are getting a used car without the car fax and start being supportive. And I hate to say it but unless dh says this is what we want to do if y'all don't like it tuff they are going to continue to voice an opinion.

omg mail, your FIL just sounds like a horrible person, as well as some of the other family members. my SIL was just over yesterday talking about this very issue. she had 2 children in her early twenties and then got her tubes tied. she later met her current husband and he has no children. he wanted children so she got her tubes untied, only it didn't work out and she ended up losing both tubes to ectopic. anyway, she said that her husband really is her children's father. their biological fathers aren't in the picture much. she said that he is the one that has shaped their lives and taught them how to be a good person and all those milestone things like driving. he really has been their dad in every way except for blood.

 

[moter98]

Here are some pics from his room, it is so small that I can't get a good wide shot of anything, LOL, but you can get the idea. DH refuses to redo the wallpaper border, so for now it is staying up all bubbled.
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i love, love, love it twinkie! my crib comforter is very similar. it's a recycle from DS. safari friends or something like that.

 

[mailcmm]

First and foremost..... 16 wks!!! Big prayers Moter. This is gonna be ok. One week at a time you will get to a safer place.

Twinkie... Love the room. Is gorgeous.

 

[moter98]

Thanks mail. The big scan will be oct 3rd to tell me where I stand. I have put myself on full bed rest through next week in hopes of healing this tear. After that, modified bed rest. And hope for the best. Dh keeps telling me it will all be fine and to just rest and he will take care of everything. He even brought home flowers. *tears* he's been so sweet and my rock through this

 

[mailcmm]

I agree with dh. If he's willing to help then go for it. Rest as long as you can and make a decision in oct at your scan. I wish they were scanning you every 2 weeks. Maybe nothing changes but if it is healed then you would know. Regardless of rest I still wouldn't lift anything. Wouldn't want to strain anything. I thought it would be awful but with laundry I do smaller loads. I load the washer and transfer to the dryer and then dump clothes into the basket in front of dryer. THen I tell dh that the basket needs to be moved and he moves it to a spot that I can sort and fold. Then when he can he puts clothes in the rooms and I put them away. My doctor is big on rest for high risk. All I hear is how I should take it easy.

I bought some stuff today. Toys r us had diapers 2 mega packs for $25. And the bottles I wanted (tommie tippie) were $7 dollars off of a 3 pack. I saved $27 dollars. Always looking for specials. Lol

 

[television]

morning hope every ones doing ok. DS went back to school today gonna miss him but have the day off work so gonna get some house work done and bits and bobs.

 

[colta]

Morning all... hope everyone is feeling good and awesome. If you are, can you send some my way?

I think I'm going to have to see my doctor soon. I'm on day 3 of AF and it feels like they've steadily been getting worse since my last mc. They're crazy heavy and the cramps/back pain associated with them is out of this world at times. I stay medicated all throughout af anyway, but sometimes the pain has me curled up surrounded by hot water bottles, crying in pain.
This morning, I woke up and felt that I had to run to the washroom... it's a common occurrence to me (although usually only in the daytime), so I was annoyed, but fine. When I got there... I was hit by the sharpest pain of my life. It hurt so bad, like I was being stabbed in my lower abdomen. It stayed there for about 5 mins and then went away.
I don't know what happened... but I think it's high time I got looked at. I'm sure there is something going on in there that's effecting my fertility, AF, the pain I feel, etc.... I just want this to go away!

 

[Twinkie210]

Colta- I say make a Dr. appt! And don't let them tell you it is normal AF cramps! You could have fibroids, or endometriosis, or even an infection. Your symptoms don't sound normal to me! Also, have you had your iron checked? When I went in for a checkup with my regular Dr. (not my OBGYN) last year, I was complaining about being tired all the time and he asked if I had heavy periods, that it can cause low iron levels. This wouldn't cause your pain, but it could make you feel crappy (luckily my test was fine, but if you have that heavy of periods yours may not be).

Moter- I agree, take it easy as long as you can. Let DH help out. Even if the tear heals, a limited activity as possible would be a good idea. We all want this little guy to stay healthy and safe inside for atleast 21 more weeks! There may even be some things DS can help you with. My son used to love to help me with laundry. obviously your little guy is too small to help fold, but I bet he can help you seperate it! I bet he can also help pick up his toys if you make a game out of it.

mail- yay for the bargains! I am a big sale/clearance shopper. I saw the Tommie Tippie bottles on sale, but I got some at my shower, so I am waiting to see if little guy likes them before buying more. Everything I have bought for little guy has been clearance of sale prices. I even used a coupon on the dressor and mattress LOL

TV- I bet you will miss your son, but I was glad when DS started school, LOL. He was getting so much cabin fever this summer. We had a terrible heat wave, so he spent most of the summer indoors! I was kind of glad that I got him out of the house! I hope you can get a lot done!

Well today is my first day back at work full time in over two weeks (I had been working from home). I am going to be exhausted! Plus they are having a shower for me today at work and then after work I have a funeral to go to I am pretty sure I will hit the bed and pass out tonight!

 

[mailcmm]

Colta.... With all your mcs has anyone ever run tests? Other then bloods? My dr filled up my uterus with saline and looked for scars which can cause the problems you are experiencing. Also I would look into endometriosis. Have you and dh talked about ttc again? Or are you still ntnp? My periods were like what you described when I had my iud but got better with removal. I do feel that the iud is one reason it took us so long to get a sticky bean. I didn't have the hormonal one just the copper. I know insurance in canada is different but here we can request stuff. Can you? I really would have you dr look into the problem more. I would also look into the DNA test. would see about you first and if you are ok get hubby tested. I believe it's a karyotype test. Are dr tried everything but that. Can't hurt to check if they haven't already.