I go in for blood work around lunch time... so about 2-3 hours from now. After that I wait about an hour and a half and I'll have the results. As it is right now, it's just going to be a confirmation of what I already know.
After everything that happened last night, I decided to take another hpt this morning to check on what I figured had happened. And I was right...
The HPT was lighter then they've been for a while... before they had all been as dark or darker then the control line, even the one yesterday afternoon before the crazy cramping took place. This one though, wasn't as dark... wasn't even close to being as dark. After everything that has happened, I'm under no illusion that I still have a baby...
I just don't understand. I'm young, I'm in good health and I've never had any gynecological issues... how could I lose two babies in 6 months?

What''s so wrong with me that I can't be a mom... it's all I've ever wanted to be from the time I was a little girl. I believe in karma... and I just don't know what I've done that's made me deserve so much pain?
I feel awful... my husband, my parents, his parents, they were all counting on me to bring this baby to term... and I've failed again. Why can't I just be a mom???