Hey girls. Sorry, I've been feeling really down lately and haven't been posting much. I know I'm having this surgery in a week, but I still feel really awful about it. My greatest fear is that they're going open up my belly, then say that there's nothing wrong. I'm scared about being put to sleep and intubated. I'm still bleeding heavily and in pain, and I'm so sick of being tired all the time. I know I'm being a Debbie Downer about it all, but I'm just so miserable.
My family was never big on Christmas, so I never had to worry about shopping. We never wrapped gifts or put up the tree after my brother and I were old enough to know that Santa didn't exist. My hubby's family, though, is CRAZY about Christmas. They go nuts every year making cookies and candy, shopping, going out and getting a real tree, decorating... They love it, so they're trying to turn me into a Christmas fiend as well.
Honestly, I'm feeling negatively about that as well because I wanted a BFP before Christmas. I wanted to announce it in some special way while everyone was opening gifts. Obviously, it's not going to happen this year, so I feel like I have nothing to look forward to.
I know I sound horrible, and I'm sorry that I've been so negative lately. I really hope things get better after this surgery. It's just that I've been bleeding so long that I irrationally feel that it's never going to stop, that it's never going to happen for us.
But anyway... sorry again.
How do you girls usually celebrate the Christmas season? MrsTurner, I really hope you get your BFP on Thursday. Tristansmommy, good luck with your shopping. You can always do it online and not worry about the crazy shoppers out there!