Dealing with azoospermia?

[Deb111]

Wanbmum - I'm doing ok thanks and will add your appts to the first page

As for starting a journal; I can assure you there would be plenty of people who will read it and support you xx

 

[GrantsWife]

Grantswife - nice to see you back. It is so hard for all us with these waiting times that get imposed on us, but I can't imagine how hard it must be knowing you have such a wait ahead.

I don't think it's at all strange to just want a normal TTC cycle, but it does change the whole thing when you know there will be no chance of a

It's hard for me to comment in some ways because we have only twice in the 18 months since hubby's azoo diagnosis - I think with hubby part of it is the mental side of knowing he cannot get me pregnant, but also his hormones, especially his testosterone, have been all over the place lately.

Do you have a journal hun? It's a great place to have a rant or just to get those thoughts out. I really do find that it helps to get the thoughts out of your head and onto 'paper'. It's also interesting to look back on and see how your journey has progressed.

I'm glad you found the video helpful xx

Thanks Deb111 for taking the time to write back. Yes, the wait is very hard. Unfortunately we weren't one of those that just discovered one day this may be the only route (not that that is good either) but we have known since the moment we started dating. Which was almost 3 years ago. Since he has CF you just kind of know, it isn't going to work out that way for you since all you ever hear is that "No they can't have kids". I was told often that it would never happen for us but finding out that it could happen was just such a relief. Still it is upsetting because I sometimes feel our chances of getting to TTC were taking away from us. We never even got to at least imagine that it would happen, we just knew all along it wouldn't.

I can't really speak on the front of because since we have known all along and we were young we never saw it as a disadvantage. We felt we were the lucky ones that could brag that we couldn't have mishaps but it just isn't that way anymore. I think now it is mostly me that doesn't ever feel up to as much and neither does hubby but that comes and goes with his health. And I know we are so young still but sometimes I just worry that his health will decline and the inevitable will happen before we even get that chance so sometimes I feel a bit of rush on life. If that makes sense?

No, I don't have a journal at the moment but was thinking about it. Sometimes I can open up too much online and then makes me feel weird so then I delete things. Don't ask, lol. But maybe I should have one. I was reading some from here and it has definitely helped. It always nice not being alone.

 

[GrantsWife]

Hi Grantswife Lots of us newbies here since you were here last as you can probably tell. Your not crazy, although we have completely relaxed with the TTC situation and in a good way are DTD to enjoy now rather than re-produce, so i guess it is diff for everyone.
Do you mind me asking why you have to wait until 2015/2016? Hope I dont intrude, I am not familiar with your story. Lets hope it doesnt get to that and there is a miracle around the corner.

Hi WANBMUM, so nice to meet you. That must be a good thing to be able to enjoy DTD instead of feeling like a chore. Lately our libidos have been a bit down. I am thinking its because of my hormones (had low progesterone on last blood check) and hubbys health (he has Cystic Fibrosis). I go back for hormone checks again this next week.

No, I don't mind you asking and you aren't intruding. Well to tell you the truth we don't really have a year in mind but hubby wants to wait until at least 4-5 years before this happens. We are still quite young (21) and still would like to go to school and buy a home before trying. Hopefully we can at least get most of that accomplished sooner than that though. Plus, I just finished immigrating to Canada and that took a year to pull through plus the year I was living here before that. I had to stay here the whole process without being allowed to work or study so I am a bit behind on that front. I really hope we get to try sooner but I guess we will know exactly when the time is right.

I am trying to convince hubby to get a SA just so we can actually confirm azoo even though we know thats what it is but it would just be nice to have that confirmed or not. And I will be getting tested for the CF carrier test soon so one step at a time. Aww and thank you, I hope you have a little miracle around the corner too.

 

[Sar187]

GrantsWife, Nice to meet you!

I can definitely see your point in that there are advantages and disadvantages to knowing from the beginning that there will be problems conceiving.

The only thing I would say is try not to put too much emphasis on making sure it is the right time because there will always be something that comes up that makes you feel it isn't the right time, no time is ever perfect in my opinion but we make due with what we have and we figure things out.

Good luck with your journey and it sounds like a great idea to get some tests done early I would just make sure you check on how long the results are good for I know some things like blood tests they will only consider the results if they are less than say 3 years old.

 

[GrantsWife]

GrantsWife, Nice to meet you!

I can definitely see your point in that there are advantages and disadvantages to knowing from the beginning that there will be problems conceiving.

The only thing I would say is try not to put too much emphasis on making sure it is the right time because there will always be something that comes up that makes you feel it isn't the right time, no time is ever perfect in my opinion but we make due with what we have and we figure things out.

Good luck with your journey and it sounds like a great idea to get some tests done early I would just make sure you check on how long the results are good for I know some things like blood tests they will only consider the results if they are less than say 3 years old.

Nice to meet you Sar187! I just want to say congrats on the great news you got. That is wonderful. Thank you for the advise. To me, it always feels like the right time but I will let hubby have his opportunity to feel more stable. I guess he wants to do the right thing and be the man of the house and knowing that he could provide for us. Thank you for the good luck wishes. I wish you lots of good luck at well. Yes, I am aware that some tests may expire but I think for say the CF carrier test, you might need it redone but you should have the same result as before, whether that be positive or negative, you know. But things like hormone levels, etc would need to be redone. Right now, I just want to discuss with a doctor about our options, learn some things, start preparing, etc. I am hoping that one day we have a of our own.

 

[Bookworm]

Hi Grantswife
DH & I just had our bloods drawn today for CF screening and we're kind of expecting that to confirm CBAVD. There is a history of unexplained obstructive azoospermia on DH's side of the family, but the last case was about 10yrs ago and while the general CF screening was available at that time more recent research has shown some CF gene variants are relevant and they are also now tested - so 'unexplained' may be about to become explained. I know that won't solve the issue but I feel that an explanation might be comforting somehow, even if there is no 'cure'.

You're not alone in wanting to hide from the awful reality of azoospermia! The truth in this case is horrible. When we got our first SA result and with it the news that it should be confirmed by a second test we still continued to try in between, even though we knew about the family history of infertility and we knew in our hearts that we were infertile too. I bet just about everyone does this - and it's perfectly natural and probably a bit of a cushioning method allowing you to deal with the news properly and in stages.

For my part, with the possible similarities in our situations I would definitely be interested in hearing more about your story if you ever feel like starting a journal. And personally I've found the journal quite useful place to indulge a little, even if no-one does read it you can get out a lot of frustrations, anger, and the blind hope of that miracle! And if someone is reading, generally they are people in similar situations who know the helpful things to say, or not say for that matter (I find that of the few people who know about this in my life none of them really understand what it is like).

And I hope that miracle is on it's way to you right now!

 

[tigerlily1975]

That's brilliant news, Sar187!!

C xx

 

[Sar187]

Well I got a call back from the fertility clinic today and no they will not freeze eggs. They freeze embryo and sperm but not eggs. My guess is due to the fact that egg freezing is a fairly new technology they don't do it yet. In that case our options for my eggs if they don't find sperm from DH are DS, disposing of the eggs, or donating them.

But on that note All the doctors seem confident they will find sperm in DH so hopefully its not going to matter anyway!

 

[silverbell]

Sorry they won't freeze eggs, but it's great they sound so positive about your DH's chances.

 

[Bookworm]

Sar, it's a shame that new technology isnt more widely available sooner; im sure that was a bit frustrating. But it sounds as though the Drs are optimistic and hopefully it won't even be an issue for you - fx!!

 

[WANBMUM]

That is a pity Sar. But it is great to hear the docs are confident, that is a great sign, because in my experience they dont tend to give false hope.

How do you all feel about egg donation? As in, donating your eggs? It is something I have crossed my mind over, from researching alot on donor sperm and deciding that we will go down this route I often thought, would I be able to do it and my own personal conclusion was that it is something I definately would do in the future to be able to help couples in a similar situation (but the other way round) but I think only after we have had our own baby, I am not sure if I could handle it mentally, if we werent successful ourselves. Is that selfish though? I guess as we are having trouble TTC it is not like just deciding to donate in other circumstances, like donors across the world, but I suppose they each have their own story why they do it.
Ok that is my thoughts for this evening, lol. Its off to bed I go. Sometimes I think too much

 

[Sar187]

Wanbmum, yes that is what helps is that they are so confident, it would have been nice to have that little fallback cushion but I am ok with not having it as well. At this point I'm not real comfortable with egg donation right now, while I would love to help other infertile couples, I think I would hate knowing that I could have children out there somewhere with some other guy. Maybe it is a little selfish on my part . DH and I have discussed though that if everything goes well and we get several embryos, once we decide we are done having kids we would consider donating our unused embryos for another couple to do embryo adoption. I think all of the decisions that go along with these things are challenging.

 

[MissAma]

the Dr. seemed annoyed with with us when we told him we did not want a DS backup on the day of egg/sperm retrieval

We had that twice. Once they were only annoyed but the second time they were downright pushy complete with a suggestion of taking a psychological evaluation in case we're in denial about or infertility. I had to firmly explain that one of my degrees is in Psychology, I am not that crazy, we just want to use IVF and ICSI to try for OUR genetic baby and if that is not doable then we can do tens of IUIs with DS after. It is nerve wrecking to gamble on the SSR being successful but if that's what you want then sticking to your guns can be rewarding.

I haven't written in forever ladies, apologies, I have been traveling like mad and when I only have 2-3 days a week home I tend to never do anything other than talk to ICSI pixie, coo and marvel how lucky we are.

Today I thought I had to share this: I have great news! In particular for you 21 year olds not us oldies... Look here, they made artificial sperm!!!

https://www.asahi.com/english/TKY201108050292.html

 

[silverbell]

MissAma, that's fabulous news! It just lightens my heart to think that in the future azoospermia couples will hopefully have more options and hope. Thank you for sharing.

WANBMUM - not long after we got our diagnosis, I told DH I wanted to do egg donation, whether we are successful with SSR or not. It's a very personal decision and not one to take lightly (just like deciding whether to use donor sperm or not), but I feel it's something I would like to do if my eggs are good enough. However, I did find out that a lot of places aren't interested if the lady is 30 or over This makes me very sad, but is something I will look into in the future after our SSR is over.

I did wonder how I would feel if there were children out there that were 'half me', but to be honest it makes me happy to think that I could help ladies who are in our position but with the opposite problem. Without people donating sperm and eggs, those with severe infertility would have far fewer options.

 

[Deb111]

Today I thought I had to share this: I have great news! In particular for you 21 year olds not us oldies... Look here, they made artificial sperm!!!

https://www.asahi.com/english/TKY201108050292.html

Thanks for sharing the article. It seems like it's still a long way off but WOW what a start!

 

[Sar187]

We had that twice. Once they were only annoyed but the second time they were downright pushy complete with a suggestion of taking a psychological evaluation in case we're in denial about or infertility. I had to firmly explain that one of my degrees is in Psychology, I am not that crazy, we just want to use IVF and ICSI to try for OUR genetic baby and if that is not doable then we can do tens of IUIs with DS after. It is nerve wrecking to gamble on the SSR being successful but if that's what you want then sticking to your guns can be rewarding.

That is our thing we want to try for our baby with IVF/ICSI. If we end up unsuccessful with that option, we will most likely be looking into adopting an embryo rather than using donor sperm. I can understand the view of the Dr. that they are putting all this time and effort into preparing you for a cycle just to have it be a "wasted" cycle if nothing is found, but hey they can't complain too much if they are still getting paid for the time and effort right .

 

[tigerlily1975]

Hello everyone

I hope you've all survived Monday Sorry I haven't posted sooner, I didn't really have any news and I've been trying to come to terms with it all.

On the (hopefully) plus side, we now have our first appointment with a specialist. We're going to Queen Charlotte's in west London. It's so daft how I picked it; firstly, my name is Charlotte and secondly, it's part of Imperial college, which is where my husband got his PhD. I'm hoping it's a good omen!! (I know you're all secretly doing this: )

I just hope the appointment goes better than the actual booking. Between the NHS Choose and Book system and the hospital itself, they managed to book me into an appointment that I had cancelled, then they sent me an appointment letter three days after the re-booked (unwanted) appointment...!!! I spent 30 minutes on the phone this morning being told that I'd been discharged for not attending the appointment - the one I cancelled and they rebooked. I almost gave-up then and there.

Oh well, we're seeing the specialist this Wednesday (10th) and we're already worrying what's going to happen next. Any advice or questions/test we should ask/request? I'm hoping they'll also test me, as I'm 36 and I want to make sure that things are working normally. My one concern is my periods, they are so short now (sorry for TMI). I can't help thinking that maybe it isn't meant to be...

It's interesting reading the various comments regarding DS. We've discussed it a little and my husband has said three times that we can and he wouldn't have a problem with it. It's actually me who's not so keen. Is it wrong to dream that I get to carry my husband's child? I want a little cherub with his cracking smile and sweet disposition. I know we've some way until we have to make those decisions, but you all know better than I do how this question rattles around your brain.

I will love you and leave you now and until next time, take care and big, BIG

C xx

 

[silverbell]

Well done on getting that first appointment sorted, tiger. I don't think there's anything wrong with your choice of Queen Charlotte's at all. I think anything that feels right is a good sign and if you're happy with it and your reasons for choosing it then it'll be good for you

I hope all goes well on Wednesday. I think Deb posted a list of a few questions that were good to ask at a first appointment on the first page of this thread.

I got referred to a Gynaecologist for them to start checking me out prior to ICSI or IUI with donor sperm if it comes to it. I'm seeing them next month. No idea what they'll do (if they even will), what tests they'll do etc, sorry.

How can it be wrong to dream that you'd get to carry your husband's child? I think that's why all of us as ladies take the diagnosis as hard as our OH's. It's only natural and let's be honest when you enter a relationship and realise it's serious and you start to imagine your life, you always imagine a child that looks and acts like the 2 of you.

However, saying that I do think that genetics only play a small part in how a child develops. I think perhaps genetics play a smaller part than we give them credit for, in fact. It's the way kids are brought up and loved that play the bigger part in my opinion. Plus you do get a lot of specifications to select when choosing a sperm donor. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather have DH's biological child and I do think there are a lot of questions and feelings to take into account on this difficult issue. It's something I wish no couple ever had to discuss.

Best of luck for Wednesday.

 

[Bookworm]

Hi Tiggerlilly - I really think the DS issue is soooo personal. If couples find they need to consider their options then it can be great, but some just don't feel comfortable with it. It's a big decision so you should definitely let it rattle around for a while before ruling it in/out.

I agree with SB, genes have some importance but ultimately I reckon nurture has the edge on nature so whether it's genetically the produce of you & OH / DS / Adoption your family will be your family.

Oh - and I've noticed that just about everyone on this thread has had some kind of administrative nightmare!! I think it's like a rite of passage - they're testing us to see how much we really want this Glad you got it sorted

 

[Sar187]

Tigerlily, Glad you've got your first appt. booked! Good luck with the specialist tomorrow! DS is a very personal decision, I think it is great that the option is there and it is definitely something to take the time to think about if it comes to that. Personally I know that if the problems were reversed and I was the one with the problem we would not choose to use donor eggs either. It is just not us. We both feel that if we can't have a baby that is biologically both of ours we would rather have one that is biologically neither of ours. I think silverbell is correct in that the biggest thing that makes a child yours and affects them the most is the way they are raised and brought up.

On another note I thought you all might enjoy this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvZIAlK-PO0&feature=related