Dealing with other people's fertility!

[valentine1]

Does anyone else find themselves constantly on edge over someone they know announcing a pregnancy? I feel like I read too much in to things and worry that certain people are going to announce it, usually because a) they've just got married b) the cryptic fb statuses and c) I know for a fact they said they planned to start trying.

Sad to start 2013 on a negative note but I really do worry about these announcements,
Not that I'm not happy for them, I'm just sad for us!

 

[jellybeanxx]

I'm exactly the same, I get so upset if someone announces their pregnancy then I feel guilty for being jealous and then get even more upset! I always think every little thing points to pregnancy and it starts to make me quite anxious.

 

[Ducktales]

Ditto
Kim kardashian is now also pregnant, I bet khloe feels as rubbish as us
Xxx

 

[Hiswillbedone]

Ditto
Kim kardashian is now also pregnant, I bet khloe feels as rubbish as us
Xxx

poor Khloe

 

[Miss_Awesome]

Ditto
Kim kardashian is now also pregnant, I bet khloe feels as rubbish as us
Xxx

I literally told my husband the same thing (or close to the same thing!) when I read about that last night. I think it sucks to know that her sister is pregnant when she's been married and we've seen her struggle, but at least there's women like us who hope that she--a woman we've (most likely) never met--is handling well. That's what I love about these forums because I always hate it for the people who post their friends/sister/cousin/etc announced they're expecting. It's like you want to be there for them. And here I go rambling on.

OP, yes, I drive myself crazy "reading in to" those cryptic FB posts. Someone might post they have a doctor's appointment and there I go dreading the result of whatever they're getting checked because I instantly think "oh, they're pregnant." This actually happened about three months ago. Or, when ladies say "The best thing ever has happened!!!" and keep it vague. I think it's because I know what the "best thing" ever would be for me and I just can't bear hearing/seeing them say they got it.

My friend actually had a baby this year and doesn't know who the father is, but is letting her boyfriend (now fiance) believe the child is his. He has been told she cheated on him, but not with the guy who might be the father and refuses to believe she was unfaithful. Ughh! Then, on Christmas Eve, he proposed. My immediate thought wasn't that it's stupid for them to get married until they determine who that child's father is, but that they will probably start going back to unprotected sex and make another baby. How awful!?

Ugh. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone in feeling that way about finding/figuring out when someone's pregnant.

 

[Madgirl]

Ditto
Kim kardashian is now also pregnant, I bet khloe feels as rubbish as us
Xxx

That is the first thing I thought of when I read that she was pregnant.

 

[wellsk]

I can't stand it. Now, as soon as someone posts their announcements on Facebook I delete them instantly. I simply cannot take it, they're always living with their parents, unemployed or single. How is that fair?!

As for the Kardashian woman, I'm just dreading reading about it every single day... Same with Kate!

 

[ces2008]

I feel exactly the same way! Last year, when my 18 year old cousin got pregnant, I was jealous and was wondering why her and not me. Then, when she miscarried, I blamed myself. I thought, if I wouldnt have felt that way, maybe it wouldnt have happened. I knew, deep down, that it wasnt my fault, but with depression, my mind always finds a way to blame myself.
I hope 2013 starts off with all of us getting our BFP's!

 

[valentine1]

Does anyone else find themselves constantly on edge over someone they know announcing a pregnancy? I feel like I read too much in to things and worry that certain people are going to announce it, usually because a) they've just got married b) the cryptic fb statuses and c) I know for a fact they said they planned to start trying.

Sad to start 2013 on a negative note but I really do worry about these announcements,
Not that I'm not happy for them, I'm just sad for us!

I'm exactly the same, I get so upset if someone announces their pregnancy then I feel guilty for being jealous and then get even more upset! I always think every little thing points to pregnancy and it starts to make me quite anxious.

I don't think jealousy is always a bad reaction, it at least shows we care! Plus when you want something so bad how can there not be that bit of jealous/resentment. And I also agree that the anxious feeling is there, makes everyday difficult!

Ditto
Kim kardashian is now also pregnant, I bet khloe feels as rubbish as us
Xxx

I bet so as well. Poor Khloe!!! Hopefully she gets her BFP and we all do as well!!!

Ditto
Kim kardashian is now also pregnant, I bet khloe feels as rubbish as us
Xxx

I literally told my husband the same thing (or close to the same thing!) when I read about that last night. I think it sucks to know that her sister is pregnant when she's been married and we've seen her struggle, but at least there's women like us who hope that she--a woman we've (most likely) never met--is handling well. That's what I love about these forums because I always hate it for the people who post their friends/sister/cousin/etc announced they're expecting. It's like you want to be there for them. And here I go rambling on.

OP, yes, I drive myself crazy "reading in to" those cryptic FB posts. Someone might post they have a doctor's appointment and there I go dreading the result of whatever they're getting checked because I instantly think "oh, they're pregnant." This actually happened about three months ago. Or, when ladies say "The best thing ever has happened!!!" and keep it vague. I think it's because I know what the "best thing" ever would be for me and I just can't bear hearing/seeing them say they got it.

My friend actually had a baby this year and doesn't know who the father is, but is letting her boyfriend (now fiance) believe the child is his. He has been told she cheated on him, but not with the guy who might be the father and refuses to believe she was unfaithful. Ughh! Then, on Christmas Eve, he proposed. My immediate thought wasn't that it's stupid for them to get married until they determine who that child's father is, but that they will probably start going back to unprotected sex and make another baby. How awful!?

Ugh. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone in feeling that way about finding/figuring out when someone's pregnant.

I can't believe your friend, that just seems so unfair for those of us in loving relationships and for the baby as well! Makes you wonder why some people get it all when it seems they don't deserve it. Not that she doesn't deserve to have a baby but all whilst doing something like that?

Yep agreed that every little thing seems to point to it... no drink in hand in fb photo..must be pregnant! argh!

Ditto
Kim kardashian is now also pregnant, I bet khloe feels as rubbish as us
Xxx

That is the first thing I thought of when I read that she was pregnant.

It wasn't my first thought which is awful but then I thought about it and my heart broke for her like I'm sure all of ours did!

I can't stand it. Now, as soon as someone posts their announcements on Facebook I delete them instantly. I simply cannot take it, they're always living with their parents, unemployed or single. How is that fair?!

As for the Kardashian woman, I'm just dreading reading about it every single day... Same with Kate!

I might have to do the same, it's getting too much! Yep a media ban might have to come in to play. I wonder though of Kate had trouble getting pregnant? Usually royals are pregnant in their first year and it was well over a year before she announced. Maybe not but it could be the case!

I feel exactly the same way! Last year, when my 18 year old cousin got pregnant, I was jealous and was wondering why her and not me. Then, when she miscarried, I blamed myself. I thought, if I wouldnt have felt that way, maybe it wouldnt have happened. I knew, deep down, that it wasnt my fault, but with depression, my mind always finds a way to blame myself.
I hope 2013 starts off with all of us getting our BFP's!

That's definitely NOT your fault!!! You can't blame yourself and look at all of us who agree that we get jealous, you're not the only one!!! YES here's hoping



I read this quote the other day...

'the longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. And the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination. All good things are worth waiting for and worth fighting for'

I loved it as it perfectly describes the TTC situation. Makes me feel better to think maybe I'll be a better mother because I wanted it so bad and for so long and I'll never take it for granted, whereas others who had it come easily might!

 

[Miss_Awesome]

Facebook makes me feel like a private detective or something! Lol!

 

[longing]

Yep I have to say I do too with the mixed feelings of jelousy and sadness and guilty of being Jelous. And Miss Awesome, lol, I am the same!!

 

[MrsDavo]

I am the same ladies, I absolutely dread Facebook pregnancy announcements!

I just recently had a friend ( or a friend of my mum really ) announce that she was 20 weeks pregnant( Her only other child is 18 ). I was gutted for me, but so happy for her, and shocked she had managed to keep it quiet so long! Made me wonder if I should keep it quiet that long if I get a bfp lol.

Every time I read in the paper that some celeb is pregnant, it's like being stabbed in the heart. We've had so many in the last month haven't we - Kate, Jessica Simpson, Rochelle, Kim Kardashian to name but a few!

 

[Chatterwockin]

can I just add, before I came on here I had never thought for a second about fb updates and how they could effect people in such a negative way. I will be cautious in future about my updates...

 

[valentine1]

I am the same ladies, I absolutely dread Facebook pregnancy announcements!

I just recently had a friend ( or a friend of my mum really ) announce that she was 20 weeks pregnant( Her only other child is 18 ). I was gutted for me, but so happy for her, and shocked she had managed to keep it quiet so long! Made me wonder if I should keep it quiet that long if I get a bfp lol.

Every time I read in the paper that some celeb is pregnant, it's like being stabbed in the heart. We've had so many in the last month haven't we - Kate, Jessica Simpson, Rochelle, Kim Kardashian to name but a few!

I plan to keep it to just DH and myself for as long as possible. Maybe tell family at about 16-20 weeks and then other people in small doses but no announcement. Wonder if we'll be able to keep it a secret for that long, or if we'll even ever have an announcement to make! It's a weird emotion being happy for them but sad for yourself isnt it?!

And agree about the celebrities...did you read that Kim Kardashian is already talking about how hard pregnancy is? Grrr!

can I just add, before I came on here I had never thought for a second about fb updates and how they could effect people in such a negative way. I will be cautious in future about my updates...

Same here! I am not going to post a big announcement on Facebook I've decided, knowing how I've felt! Puts things into perspective doesn't it!

 

[Galaxy Girl]

I think its a natural emotion to feel when you want something so desperatly and people around you are 'accidently' fallling pregnant!!
When my 17 year old sister announced she was pregnant I hated her for it and didnt speak to her for weeks, Im now over it but Im still jealous of her!!

 

[Cartersmomma]

Same here...Ive been TTC for 4 years. My husbands brothers "somewhat" new girlfriend just popped in the picture 2 years ago, and is now pregnant!!!! All she does is go around bragging and all she talks about is her belly and this & that, blahh blahh blahh!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like chocking her sometimes! lol but I do feel bad for being jelous, i should be happy for them. I guess just the fact that I was here way before her and she just grabbed the spot light and brought the fist (blood grandchild) into the family.

 

[Bluenpinkmom]

Does anyone else find themselves constantly on edge over someone they know announcing a pregnancy? I feel like I read too much in to things and worry that certain people are going to announce it, usually because a) they've just got married b) the cryptic fb statuses and c) I know for a fact they said they planned to start trying.

Sad to start 2013 on a negative note but I really do worry about these announcements,
Not that I'm not happy for them, I'm just sad for us!

tell me about it !! sometimes I feel why are people with 2-3 children blessed again and again and not us who is dying for one single baby?? And, you know what's worse? I just CANT feel happy for them !! NO !! if i say im happy i would be lying... its just me I know I am thinking mean and jealous but my ttc has been such a rollercoaster of emotions that I donot even feel sorry for this i cannot deal with other people's fertility and anybody announcing their pregnancy makes me a get a emotional breakdown.... Just being frank...

 

[babydust818]

i can sooo relate! Makes me so angry inside. I shouldn't feel so much hatred but i can't help it. They have something i'm desperately trying for. It's no fair.

Miss_Awesome i've been TTC since August 2011 too! It's been a long hard journey... that's for sure.

 

[tamithomas]

They definitely get the best of me at times. Especially when they come from people who a) didn't try at all b)you know they're not fit to be parents whatsoever (Not trying to be a snob, I'm talking about still living at home with the parents or a guy who spent 10 years being promiscuous who barely settles down and within 3 months he's due to be a daddy in 7 months). So not fair Hopefully it will be our turn but for me when I will give the announcement I will attach it with my struggles and hopefully cause a domino effect of others coming out of the closet.

 

[Miss_Awesome]

Miss_Awesome i've been TTC since August 2011 too! It's been a long hard journey... that's for sure.

Sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I started the TTC journey, but other times it feels like it's been a million years. This is especially true when friends of mine who had children after we'd already been TTC for several months all have toddlers who just celebrated their first birthdays. It's like, I juuuuust got over you posting a million pictures of your baby, now come the photos of your toddler doing the exact same thing over and over. Lol