Hello all
I've bloody missed you all so much!
For all of you that have had difficulties with babies with colic or not liking to sleep much or general fussy fussikins... I am here to make you feel better because my little Oscar, while being the absolute treasure and joy of my life is a complete CRAZY MAKER!!!
As some of you will know we saw the new year in in the pediatric intensive care and since then we are still continually bamboozled. Whether it is just his personality or the reflux or colic or what , we don't know but Oscar does seem to be perfectly healthy and happy otherwise. I, however, am a complete wreck.
I get maybe 4 hours sleep a night (non consecutive) on a good night. He just will not sleep and his latest thing is having us pace around with him in our arms almost constantly. So I was getting terrible terrible back ache and carpal tunnel from holding him all the time. Went to the chiropracter who has scared me by showing me how awful everything looks on my xray.
Honestly we have tried everything to get a routine going but Ozzy defies everything. In between he is a very smiley, cooing and chatting little chap but it's been so bloody difficult.
I got really depressed (PND perhaps) but I seem to be managing to get through that without using the prescription I was given. A couple of nights Oscar has done a 4 hour stretch between feeds and we have been able to sleep. Except, I have not because by then I am so sore that the pain keeps me awake.
The whole thing has been a vicious circle and to top it all we still can't get the blinking breastfeeding latch right so my boobs are totally mashed and complete agony. Bleeding, blistered and oh, just awful.
Then after every feed I am supposed to keep him upright for at least 30 minutes because of the reflux...so one feed pretty much merges into the next and I cannot remember when I last so much as brushed my hair. I scrape it back into a pony tail and go from one day to the next in a sort of blur. If Oscar is happy to be in his chair or on a play mat for a while ,then I grab that time to eat something other than cereal and when he DOES actually nap or sleep, I lie down and try to sleep too ...but I think he is tuned in somehow because the moment I drift off finally, he starts up again.
Seriously it is like being tortured. I keep going only because I love him so much and am so grateful to have him safe and sound but honestly I am blinking going out of my mind with exhaustion and pain.
anyway... on some occasions I have managed to read a couple of posts on my phone but it's gonna take forever to try to catch up with what is going on for everyone so I'm not even going to try and just going to dive back in instead.
Having had this massive moan (crying as I type) I have to say that Oscar is the best thing since sliced bread. We ADORE him and those moments when he is looking at me and smiling and we play, or he is blissing out at bath time (even though my back is killing me) totally keep me going. I do wonder when it will get easier though. People said 'around 6 weeks' but that came and went and we are still going mad.
He does seem to be happier though, so I hope it is because he is getting more comfortable. We have to give him zantac which I hate doing, but it does seem to help and non of the alternative remedies did anything.
I HIGHLY suspect that the morphine allergy I had after the c-section set off all these weird problems for us. For me it was hideous (think feeling like being buried alive and having visions of snakes crawling the walls, even days afterwards) but for Oscar it meant he didn't get all the things I wanted to give him in his first few hours of being here. Instead he had to hang out in the hospital nursery alone (no skin to skin time) and got given silly old formula and those first moments when I got to meet him and he did latch on properly seem like a dream.
I also wonder if the reflux thing is more prevalent among c-section babies because a friend of mine has had a very similar experience with her little girl (reflux and sleep issues) and she also had a c-section.
Not that speculation helps much.
I've put away ALL the books and only look up things like how to tell if your baby is feeling unwell type things. All the theories and stuff were driving me mad because Oscar thwarted every single system we tried ( although we never did, nor would do the CIO) ...
OH and I basically take it in shifts. And to my extreme dismay I am even thinking about giving up Bfing as it is so hard and painful. I don't want to, but I'm so exhausted that I'm getting to the point where all my idealisms are breaking down.
Anyway - I want to end on a sweet note so attaching some pics of my little BOSSY PANTS for you to see.
He absolutely rocks my world - in more ways than I can describe.
