***December Snowflakes 2012 Parenting***

[ttc_lolly]

Chloe, I agree with 2016, try get as much sleep during the day as possible. It'll mean you are maybe more awake during the night but at least you won't be out of your mind exhausted. DD1 was such a good sleeper, from the start really, so getting used to Millie now is almost like being a FTM all over again! Stupid I know but being honest, I really expected to have another chilled, easy going, sleepy baby oh how wrong was I!?

2016, wow I remember reading up on the wonder years when Amber was a baby when everyone was discussing it in baby club. It had completely left my mind though and I'd forgotten all about it. Thanks for reminding me, I better go do some refresher homework!

Millie was a little better last night. I managed to get her down at around midnight and she slept through till 3.50ish, fed and was back asleep in her basket until around 5 when she woke for another feed. It was a little harder to get her back in the basket this time and I don't remember exactly when she finally went down but she did and then woke again at 9ish and is already back to sleep. I don't feel as tired as I did yesterday both girls are sleeping still, it's a miracle! Might try and shut my eyes and make the most of it whilst I can!

 

[ttc_lolly]

ImSoTired, OMG! Caitlyn is so pretty she's like a perfect little doll well done & congrats again!

You sound like a very normal first time mum (although us 2nd, 3rd & 4th etc timers can feel like this too at times!) so please don't worry or beat yourself up over your feelings most newborns will cluster feed, the nights can be hard, but after a few weeks it'll hopefully settle down for you and she may even get herself into a little routine.

 

[2016]

What is the app called?

I believe it is just called "The Wonder Weeks"

 

[2016]

Oh lolly, lol. Baby's name is Caitlyn Isabel.

Thanks girls. I'm just so happy that what I'm feeling is normal! I feel like a failure a lot and it just breaks my heart when the baby cries because I feel like I should be able to fix everything. Bf'ing has gotten slightly easier but it's still very hard for me. I plan to continue but today Caitlyn got her first few oz of formula. I've only just began pumping also. I feel guilty but at the same time I think we need it. Neither DH or I have been sleeping. Caitlyn seems to think she is nocturnal and tends to clusterfeed at night. So the formula will hopefully keep her from clusterfeeding and keeping us up ALL night. Baby has lost nearly a lb since birth and is jaundice so I feel as though it's our best option. Baby was also born with a clicky hip which we made need to get her a harness for. Yet another reason I feel like a failed mother although it's not my fault. I cry a lot, sometimes for hours. Sometimes they are happy tears from looking at my baby and sometimes it's just the overwhelming newness of motherhood and everything being so hectic. I'm recovering well but I did have to get 1 stitch and it is still quite sore. Otherwse my body is still just quite achey. My breasts aren't overly sore but I think my milk is just really coming in. I do have swollen lymph nodes under my arms though and I've heard this is normal when milk production begins. My blood pressure has also been quite high. I also just keep worrying about everything. I worry whether she's healthy, whether she's ok, whether I'm doing all that I can. I just feel so foggy and lost and confused. I still love my baby so much but I just feel so unready or unworthy. I hope I'm not the only one who feels this.

Here are some pics of my new sweetheart

I would bet money most new mums would read what you just wrote and think "yep that is just how I feel". I certainly felt that way with DS and again now. For me, wonderful and special as being a mum is, the first 2-3 weeks SUCK! Everything you've hoped and dreamed of comes crashing down in a blaze of exhaustion and confusion...and then to top it off you feel overwhelmed by the responsiblity and then guilty for feeling anything other that happy.
With BFing there are several times LO will go cluster crazy. 2-5 days (depending on when your milk comes in), 7-10 days, 2 weeks, 3 weeks....these are all so close together it can seem like one period runs into another and many mums then think they dont have enough milk.
It is important during these three weeks to just feed as much as possible even if you accomplish nothing else. By expressing, giving formula or a dummy your body isnt getting the right sigals at the right time. Saying that if you are about to lose the plot its best to do one of the above. *Ideally* you shouldnt but we dont live in an ideal world and lawd knows ive tried my little madam with now 7 different dummies but she wont take any. The lymph nodes are normal btw but i was told its actually full milk ducts as they run under your arms also.

My friends LO had to have a spika (sp?) cast for her hips. She was devastated for her babe at first but it didnt seem to bother her - LOs are incredibly resilient. 6 weeks later it came off and all was soon forgotten.
My LO has a rather large birthmark on her left shoulder as well as ones on her eyelid, back of neck and lower back. They dont bother me and I will bring her up to be proud of her body just as it is...but I still wondered if it was my fault.

Do whatever you can to get some sleep hun. It will honestly make everything so much more manageable. Then, when you feel able, try find some baby groups in your area then you will really see youre not alone. Until then sod the housework, let other people worry about themselves, never turn down an offer of help...oh and buy a slowcooker!

 

[ttc_lolly]

^^^ hear hear to all of the above!!! brilliant advice - especially the slow cooker I've used mine 5 times in the past fortnight!

 

[Chloe597]

Imsotired, I feel the same. I spent hours crying the other day and it was all.triggered by thinking about my mom leaving me alone.that day (she was keeping me company for a few hours as dh went back to work for the first time since LO was born) and then I kept crying until bed. Thinking about her birth, how she spit up and had trouble.breathing, how I didn't want dh to go back to work, and how incredibly tired I was. Sleep helped me feel. Better but I definitely still have times when I just want to cry.

Thanks for the advice, Lolly and 2016. So hard to sleep during the day but I will try. LO was up at 130, 4, and 7 so far. She is sleeping on me as I type this on my phone. I have to keep her upright for 20 min after eating to help with preventing milk and mucous from backing up and out her nose, which happened again yesterday but was handled much better by us both!

 

[stark18]

We had to keep going to get LO's weight checked every week until she was back above birth weight. At 17 days she is 8lbs 5oz, 4.5 oz above her birth weight. I feel like bf'ing is finally starting to come naturally for both of us. I fed her before bed last night at 8 then she woke up at 12am. It took awhile to get her settled until I fed her again at 1:30. She then slept until 7 this morning. The 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep was amazing, but now I feel guilty because I feel like she should have ate more last night. My lactation consultant said she should still eat every three hours. Do any of you that is getting sleep still wake your LOs to feed at night?

 

[ImSoTired]

Thanks for the advice ladies. Last night was just SO much batter than the night's prior. I'm hoping it's the beginning of a more comfortable schedule for all of us. I'm trying to keep bf'ing but I can't get rid of the feeling that she isn't getting enough. She has only been doing 10 minutes every 2 hrs or so for the past 24 hrs. She has done less clusterfeeding and seems happy but still pretty tired. I just hope she's ok. I knew bf'ing would be hard but, wow. I hope I can keep it up for at least a few months.

 

[GenYsuperlady]

I'mSoTired- I've heard jaundiced babies can be lazy feeders. When is the next weigh in? I'm glad there was some improvement for you!! I agree, the first 2-3 weeks are a special kind of torture. You're feeling so guilty bc you ARE are great mum and want everything to be perfect for Caitlyn. A bad mum wouldn't be so bothered.

Oy, will write more later...Summer just fell asleep (fx'd) so I'm going to snooze too!

 

[ImSoTired]

Thanks Geny and everyone.
I have another bf'ing question. I am still getting a really orangey yellow colostrum and I'm guessing this means my milk has not come in? Baby is 5 days old today so it should be milk by now, right? My breasts are slightly engouraged and today Caitlyn is eating more often but still only about 10-15 min at a time? It's a bit worrisome to me.
GenY her next weigh in is on Thursday so I'm hoping that it will be climbing back up to birth weight at least.
Like I mentioned, last night was such a good night. She only woke up 3 or 4 times and wasn't quite as hysterical or clusterfeeding as much. I could have slept more if my body wasn't still in nocturnal zombie mode! I'm feeling really pretty good today so far but just hoping I can keep it up as I know the next mental/hormonal breakdown can be right around the corner!

I hope you are all well!

 

[2016]

Sounds like your milk is pretty much in it wasnt a clear shift for me and still had some orangey even after there was proper milk there. My LO has only ever fed 10-15 mins then wants a break. She then wants back on the breast between 5 minutes and 3 hours later!
You just have to go with it.
Is she having plenty wet/dirty nappies? The easiest way to tell with BFing what's going in is by observing what comes out!

 

[Bay]

Hi Ladies, how are you all?

I haven't been as active on bnb these past couple of weeks as I never seem to have much time to sit at my computer, and I hate posting on my phone.

Lots of useful and interesting advice here, love it. I've never heard of the wonder weeks before, but I do wonder if my little man is going through that because he's just gone from being completely chilled out to being slightly more waa-waa these past couple of days. And he's starting to pick up on his nursing demands too. I did come across a useful article that sort of explains what I think we're going through, thought I'd share.

https://www.thealphaparent.com/2011/12/timeline-of-breastfed-baby.html?m=1

I also wanted to chime in that all the downs and struggles anyone is going through is completely normal and you're not alone. I had a good dose of the baby blues last week and this is my second child, been blessed with an easy birth/recovery and very chilled out baby (completely different to his big bro), good breastfeeding/weight gain, AND I still have DH at home doing absolutely everything besides feeding the baby (yes, he changes most nappies too for newborn and toddler, bless that man). So, even in the perfect conditions, anyone can still be hit with the baby blues.

 

[GenYsuperlady]

I'm glad everyone can be honest about how they are feeling. I know that it helps me to hear that having a hard time in these first few weeks is the norm!

I'm happy to say that I've had TWO good days in a row! That is even despite Summer seeming to have a bit of a growth spurt, eating every 2 hours all morning and then refusing to sleep between 6am and 1pm! Now she's been passed out for hours!

A friend came over to visit and brought McDonalds (such a cheat!). It was wonderful to chat with her for a few hours. I didn't even bother to clean the kitchen first -- look at me being so relaxed!

My mom has been gone visiting other friends the past two days and I hate to say it, but I've been SOOO much more relaxed. DH and I were able to just be ourselves and fall into a bit of a rhythm with Summer. We've been getting on much better. Mom is back tomorrow, but she is babysitting all day while we go on a date. I feel horrible wishing away the time she is spending here as it may be a year or so before I see her again, but she can be very sensitive and needy, so I feel I constantly need to be making sure she is okay. My counselors have given me a mantra: "it's not my job," (to make sure she is happy, emotionally stable, enjoying herself, etc). I'll be repeating that for the next few weeks until she leaves.

 

[munch]

Hi ladies...Lolly thanks for starting this thread

Please add Seth born 10.12.12

Will go back to start and read posts to catch up x

 

[Chloe597]

Great article, bay! Your LO is too cute, with quite the head of hair! Same with u, too, Imsotired (can't recall if I mentioned it before).

Gabby has gotten into a horrible night routine of wanting to eat every 1-1.5 hours. I'm not sure how to break her of this, or if I even have to. Dh usually takes her during this time and gives a bottle, and he enjoys the awake time with her but at the same time, it cant be good for her to be awake from say 11-1am. I tried feeding her a bigger meal right before bed, and also waking her up more often, earlier, and nothing has broken this habit yet. Is it too early to hope for a pattern? She is 2 weeks 3 days.

 

[ttc_lolly]

ImSoTired, sounds like that's your milk

Bay, thanks for the link. I'll have a read of that later once I get a spare 5 mins... if I ever do that is your boys are so cute! And baby has sooo much hair, adorable!

GenY, glad you've had a good couple of days mmmm I could just eat a McDonald's right now! Saturday night is takeaway night here, so I'm looking forward to relaxing tonight and eating Chinese food.

munch welcome over! I'll add Seth to the list now. Hope you're doing well & recovering?

Chloe, I'd say its a bit too early to be hoping for a routine just yet. DD1 started to fall into her own at around 8 weeks but it wasn't guaranteed and she'd still have rough nights here and there. There are a few growth spurts in the first few weeks so that may explain why Gaby is a little up and down. Millie is the exact same, we get 1 ok night followed by 2/3 bad ones!

Millie slept ok last night, went down at midnight and then up for a feed at 3ish. She awoke again at around 5.30ish and then just refused to go back to sleep. Fussing at the boob again, wanting to be sat up and rocked and then not wanting that after a few mins I was so tired, as was OH and he had work today she finally drifted back off around 8-8.30ish but was up again at 9.30. Hoping to squeeze a nap in today but I doubt Amber will allow it!

 

[Bay]

chloe, my little man is also 2 weeks old, and i find he cluster feeds between 8pm-12am where he'll be back on the boob after 1-1.5hrs. then he'll resume his 3hr feeds around 3am, 6am etc. i'm not sure if they can settle into a routine and stick to it at this stage as they are changing so much. i remember with my first, he'd change his routine just when i feel like we've settled into a routine ... kids hey, they like to keep us mummies on our toes.

geny - glad you are getting the rest you need. as they say, happy mama, happy family (and when summer's a toddler, it'll be happy toddler, happy family haha).

lolly - millie's schedule sounds very similar to fin's. i'm up till 12, thenagain 3, 6 etc. although i am pretty lucky this time to have such a chilled out baby wjo just eats and sleeps and hardly cries ... in fact, he grunts more than he cries when he wants something haha. so completely different to my first ... for a long time he was sleeping on my chest.

 

[Honey.Bee]

Just a quick hello to say Ava Mae our pink bump was born
on 14/12/12. Will catch up on all your news tomorrow x

 

[munch]

Just caught up on thread. Wow a lot to catch up on. You all sound like your doing a great job and working your way through the trials of motherhood. Well done mummas!

I just want to say to the FTM that you are so different with your first baby than your following ones (in my opinion). Everything is so new and foreign and you do put so much pressure on your self and worry about every little thing. I remember being so over the top with my first, writting down feeds, which side, how long etc Now on no. 3 I would never consider doing that. I guess I am trying to say that things get easier.

Seth is a gem of a baby so far. 5 days old today. Milk came in at end on day 3 which is fast considering I had c section but I also think its because I only stopped feeding dd2 a little over a year ago. 2016 has some great advice re BF, once you start introducing formula, dummies etc etc it can confuse your bodies ability to regulate the amount of milk it needs to produce. No one ever told me how difficult BF can be, I always tell new mums if you can get through the first 6 weeks then thing improve dramatically. Once bubs start on solids too, there is far less demand on you as well.

Seth is being so good so far. Fingers crossed it lasts. He has last feed at 1100 ish then a overnight feed around 2 and then one around 630. This is bound to change though.

Recovering well from c section thus far. Still bit sore around wound now that hospital drugs aren't around anymore I have to constantly remind myself not to lift up dd2 which is hard.

DH went to his work Christmas party last night. I told him to go, he was so worried leaving me with 3 children, one being a newborn while recovering from major surgery. Anyway I wanted him to go and not miss out. It was fine. He got home a 2am sober but is still asleep at 945! Time to get up and help now buddy !

Be good to yourselves mummy's and remember the most important rule happy mum equals happy bub so get by the best you can

 

[ttc_lolly]

Looks like our kiddies have reversed roles then Bay! DD1 was such an easy baby in comparison to Millie, she never cried either, only made little grunts to signal she was hungry! Millie screams and screams and screams!

Have just ordered a baby swing today, going to pick it up tomorrow. Millie wants to be held and rocked/swayed constantly. I wouldn't usually mind and am happy to do it plenty, but I'm getting very behind on housework and Amber is getting left out a bit need to look into getting a sling too. Wish I'd thought of these things before she'd arrived didn't need them with Amber though so just assumed I'd be ok without this time. How different babies can be hey!?