Delayed Ejaculation

[Redfraggle]

so glad I also am not alone with this, but any success stories anyone? what happened to the girls who posted on this threat last year - does anyone know?

good luck nicnac, maybe this year we'll get it sorted!

I am still here!! Mainly over in LTTTC though. We are just starting the process to go for IUI because trying at home isn't working for us.

Good luck to you. Hope you find a way to get your BFP's soon.

 

[hollie]

hi guys i just want to give u a sucess story my husband has this same problem he always has done however we have a 2 yr old daughter and a baby on the way he cant ejaculate at all with my help or during intercourse but on his own he is fine so i know it is not easy but when we were trying ttc our children i just laid on the bed while he knelt between my legs i would lay with my eyes closed for abit less embarrasedment for him he would pleasure himself and just as he was about to ejaculate he would go inside if u get me i would then put my legs up the wall lol give the a helping hand and i have alway sfallen pregnant 1st month of trying hope this helps feel free to pm me if u would like a chat as i know how frustrating it can be especially if u have a man who is embarrassed by good luck and lots of to you all xx

A friend of mine did similar to this, although she jumped on top when he was about there and they now have a beautiful baby girl, so it can be done, you just have to find what works for you

 

[grrlmom]

hi guys i just want to give u a sucess story my husband has this same problem he always has done however we have a 2 yr old daughter and a baby on the way he cant ejaculate at all with my help or during intercourse but on his own he is fine so i know it is not easy but when we were trying ttc our children i just laid on the bed while he knelt between my legs i would lay with my eyes closed for abit less embarrasedment for him he would pleasure himself and just as he was about to ejaculate he would go inside if u get me i would then put my legs up the wall lol give the a helping hand and i have alway sfallen pregnant 1st month of trying hope this helps feel free to pm me if u would like a chat as i know how frustrating it can be especially if u have a man who is embarrassed by good luck and lots of to you all xx

A friend of mine did similar to this, although she jumped on top when he was about there and they now have a beautiful baby girl, so it can be done, you just have to find what works for you

We're doing something similar now, and my partner doesn't even have ejaculation problems.
I'm just not up for a boring 20-30 minute daily sex marathon.
We tried that the first month; I was rubbed raw after a week, and we were both becoming irritable. Knowing it could potentially take many months to conceive, we came up with a new plan of action.

Now OH masturbates in another room almost to the point of ejaculation, then comes in and finishes in me.
It still makes for a nice 5 or 10 minute shag (most of the time; sometimes it's quicker than that; last night it was less than a minute, lol) and I get my spermies every night, without the hassle of having to endure full-on sex every night.

I'm not saying this is a good plan for everyone, but I'm just not one of those women who enjoys tons of sex.
We were a once-a-week (at most) couple before ttc, and I'm sure we'll happily revert back to that pattern, after conceiving.

 

[Vesta]

My DH sufferes from delayed ejaculation too. I'd never really heard the term before, but it fits him perfectly. He has no problem ejaculating during oral sex or by hand, but find it difficult during sex.

 

[nuttynicnak]

It is so nice to realise we are not the only ones out there. When reading posts on here i always thought why can't my DH be like that? It is nice we have similar people and situations to compare too.

How are you managing Vesta?
x

 

[Vesta]

It is so nice to realise we are not the only ones out there. When reading posts on here i always thought why can't my DH be like that? It is nice we have similar people and situations to compare too.

How are you managing Vesta?
x

It's our first month TTC, and I'm not ovulating yet. So it's a bit difficult to say at the moment! He's stopped watching "adult material", so we're gonna see if that help. Try and get him used to just orgasming through sex.

It's good to know I'm not the only one in this situation!

 

[nuttynicnak]

Me too. Feel free to pm me at any time. x

 

[amym]

Keep them coming girls - it's really good to hear from you all!

 

[happyendings]

Hi All

Don't give up hope. My partner has delayed ejaculation, never had an orgasm during sex with me, yet I am sitting here waiting for baby no.2 to arrive (due in next few weeks).

This is my 3rd pregnancy with him (one miscarriage, one toddler, one on the way) in just over 2 years. We did self insemination 6 times with a 50% success rate. The key is - montior your ovulating (take temperature, chart everything etc..), use ovulation sticks and any other method you can think of to work out exactly when to time things.

Then send your husband / partner into the bedroom with a mug / pot that's sterilised (dishwasher will do) and any adult material he may want. Once he's done swap places. Decant sperm into a syringe (go to chemist and ask for baby oral medicine dispenser), the sperm gets more liquid and less jelly like after about 5-10 mins making this a bit easier, but the quicker you can decant it the better). It's a bit tricky trying to stop it leaking out the other end of the syringe etc.. but you'll get the hang of it. Then inseminate yourself whilst lying down, put a pillow under your bum to raise it in the air, try to make yourself have an orgasm (apparently this helps) and lie there for 30 minutes.

The whole business isn't emotionally easy. The practicalities are simple, but getting to the point where you can both address the situation can be tricky.

Good luck ladies.

 

[Vesta]

Happyendings, do you mind if I ask how your partner felt about self insemination? The reason I ask is I mentioned this to my husband and he felt it was some kind of insult to his mandhood. And that he should be able to make a baby the "proper" way. Did your partner have any hang ups about it? Feel free not to answer if it's too personal a queston.

 

[Redfraggle]

Thanks for sharing Happyendings and lots of luck with the rest of your pregnancy! Might try the syringe. We have been using the softcups but they haven't worked so far.

Vesta, have to confess it took my husband a couple of years to agree to insemination. Hang in there, I am sure he will come round in the end.

 

[pluto]

hello all,:wave:

I joined BNB a couple of weeks ago but have been too shy to post anything before now but here goes....

My husband suffers from delayed ejaculation aswell. It is such a relief to meet other people who have the same problem and to have people to talk to about this. I was looking in the net and googled delayed ejaculation and pregnant and here I am.


We got married last october and have been TTC since. Like some of you, my DH seems to think it will magically happen and its not that difficult to get pregnant but I think it is if you don't have any spermies! I have a regular cycle but haven't been doing all the OV monitoring and all that. I am still new to that so I am still trying to get my head around all the terms and not sure where to start so any advice here would be helpful!!


I am 38 and my DH is 39 so i feel like I don't have much time....
My DH is prepared to do anything it takes so we said we would try for another couple of months and then look at our options. I think it would be worth trying self insemination before going to IUI but like Vesta my DH is not going to be comfortable with that so am not sure I will be able to persuade him. Also, I'm scared that if I put pressure on he won't be able to "perform" into a cup because he will be thinking about it too much and his head will get in the way.

It was really helpful to hear the details of the process grrlmom so thanks for that. I think i will broach the subject of AI again and see if I can persuade DH to try it this month. My is due saturday.


it is really good to be able to discuss this with other people because I can imagine that it would put a big strain on a marriage after a while. I think redfraggle is amazing-it doesn't seem to have affected your relationship at all. I really hope you get your BFP this year.


ok, I think that is probably enough for my first post. I'll keep yee updated and I hope you all do the same.

 

[tryhardmummy]

As much as I hate to say this...Thank God I am not alone.

My husband had a heart attack about 4 years ago and ever since we have been having problems. I often wonder if it has something to do with the medication or more a phsycological problem.

We have a wonderful relationship so I am greatful for that. The years have seemed to fasten up and I am now mid 30's and we have finally decided to talk about the elephant in the corner finally, and see what we can do about concieving.

Last year we decided to sex therapy but that only seemed to be a hassle and put more pressure for my husband to "perform". Alo we felt rediculous doing the homework.

So I have been reading and I hope this does not sound crass... But here goes.
Apparently vibrations at the base of the shaft and area between the balls and rectum being stimulated by a vibrator may stilmulate ejaculation. It is commonly done for people who are paralised to create an ejaculation.

So I have decided to go out and buy one. Without him knowing. I dont want to scare the poor man.

Anyway food for thought gals.
I am going to leave it all up to the gods after this.

 

[amym]

So glad people are still posting on this - it's defninitely comforting! My DH and I have been sleeping together for a year or so and have only had ANY success in last 5 weeks with him ejaculating inside me. And that is of course wonderful but it wasn't during ovulation timeframe so more work needed!

If it helps anyone else, my research said that often the man feels he must please the woman (tryhard!) before himself so I recommend some louder moans and groans etc and encouragement to please himself as it were!

 

[WishingforBab]

Thank God I found this thread! THANK YOU LADIES! I have felt like I am alone in this journey for years.

DH has had delayed ejaculation for over 12 years. The only time he is able to produce anything is through masturbating. This "issue" has caused so many problems for us and it is very stressful, especially since we are TTC now.

We have been TTC for 9 months now. Our "routine" is that DH does his thing in the bedroom while I anxiously wait in the bathroom. He calls me in when he is ready and I literally run in and jump on the bed with my legs in the air. There is no romance, nothing pretty about this. It's survival of the fittest. He tries to get as much as he can inside but this is def. a problem.

We DID have success 2 months ago however, it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. So, we have faith now that it WILL work. It didn't work for us this cycle but I have scheduled an HSG to make sure there is nothing wrong on my end.

For those that had success on their own without IUI or IVF, how long did it take and what did you do?

Thank you all again, because this is a HUGE weight off my shoulders to see there are other people that are dealing with this issue. THANK YOU.

 

[pluto]

hello again,

yes, it is such a relief to have other people to talk to, who are in the same position. I don't know what I would do otherwise!!!


Well, I was supposed to get the last saturday and I am usually bang on 27 days but no sign ...

I was convinced it was coming because I had cramps since the monday before and bloatedness and the usual and of course , even though we have been , there wasn't any ejaculation as usual so was fully expecting to get AF on time. But after being a couple of days late i began to wonder if maybe, there was a some leakage of and maybe the impossible had happened. (MY OH maintains there is usually some leakage but I don't believe him to be honest)...so anyway, finally decided yesterday i should just do a test to stop myself thinking about itand did it this morning and of course it was but still no sign of the so i don't know what the hell is going on.

I knew it would be negative but there was still a part of me that hoped and am totally depressed now as don't know what is going on with my cycle so don't even know when I can plan to try self insemination. so am totally fed up and everybody around me seems to be pregnant and it all seemed so easy for them....Is there any possibility that there was some leakage and that u could get preganat or am I being totally From all the people on here it would seem impossible!!!

anyway let us know how the vibrator goes wishingforbab and thanks for your post tryhardmummy and others that are having some success-it gives me hope that it can be done anyway

 

[Waitng4Baby#1]

Hi - my first post ever... like many of you, so delighted I have found others in the same situation!!

I have been TTC since Oct 2009. First few months were fine, kind of expected it could take a couple of months. AF fairly regular. Decided to start with ovulation tests last month, partly curious if I was actually ovulating. So delighted when I was I made the HUGE mistake of telling OH. This is when the delayed ejaculation problems started. Never making that mistake again!!

Its been something off and on has happened over the last 10 years we've been together but to be honest has never been a problem until now when we're TTC. I am totally convinced, as is he, its all in his head and started worrying about TTC rather than enjoying what is going on - going mad as I am trying not to talk to him too much as dont want to make it worse.

Just knowing you are all here helps!

 

[RACEUK]

I have had this "condition" all my life and I can assure you that for a man it is extreamly embarressing and psycologically battering to suffer.

So the solution:

The worst thing you can do is put pressure on your partner, this pressure only makes the issue worse!!!!

Find a way of exploring each other confidence is the trick here there should be no worries or hang ups!

Explain to your man that you do understand and reassure him that whichever way you reach your sexual pleasures it is fine by you!

Lack of arousal is often a cause (not your fault ladies) porn is usually a good way of dealing with this (I know it sounds seedy but it does work) the reason is because whilst porn stimulates arousal it also distracts the male RE sufferer from the job in hand and the subsequent anticipation and performance anxiety causing the problem, therefore releiving the pressure of having to come!

Now I am a sufferer and frankly it has ruined several relationships so please make sure you understand this condition and reassure your partner that you do too! Reasearch! there are plenty of websites out there!

Finally because i'm aware that the ovulation window is short and there is no quick fix to this I will give you the method which I used in order to have my 18 month old!!!

It interests me that one commentator on here suggests that her husband "does his thing" whilst she waits in the bathroom and then subsequently jumps on to catch as much as possible!!! Very bizare for a loving relationship and this must make the poor guy feel totally inadequate, why not therefore incorporate the mastrubation into the session? With my ex partner and the mother to my child I had sex as normal, pleasured her, pulled out and gave myself a helping hand which may last a minute or ten minutes or more and then at the point of no return I would simply put my willy in the correct place and ejaculate, you've had your pleasure, hes had hes and the deed in hand is done, everyones happy!
Now for some blokes this may be a problem having there partner watch them mastrubate, so to illiminate any problems there simply turn round (doggy, spooning) and do it that way, sounds bad, but it eleviates the anxiety!

This worked for me, it hardly impacts on the sexual act because you have had your intimacy and subsequent orgasm, now let him do his bid by whatever means necessary.

Incidently as a long term cure this web site may help: It wont let me post it anyone wanting it let me know!

The key is mutual love and understanding, and reconditioning the penis and mind to accept vaginal stimulation, this cannot be done under any pressure!

Hope this helps ladies any more info let me know!

 

[ticktock]

Hi - my first post ever... like many of you, so delighted I have found others in the same situation!!

I have been TTC since Oct 2009. First few months were fine, kind of expected it could take a couple of months. AF fairly regular. Decided to start with ovulation tests last month, partly curious if I was actually ovulating. So delighted when I was I made the HUGE mistake of telling OH. This is when the delayed ejaculation problems started. Never making that mistake again!!

Its been something off and on has happened over the last 10 years we've been together but to be honest has never been a problem until now when we're TTC. I am totally convinced, as is he, its all in his head and started worrying about TTC rather than enjoying what is going on - going mad as I am trying not to talk to him too much as dont want to make it worse.

Just knowing you are all here helps!

Kinda in the same boat, has been a minor issue before but mostly due to stress etc but now he knows we're ttc its stressed him even more so he's having more trouble with it! Bloody typical eh lol

From now on I'm not gonna tell him ov dates so he doesn't feel as pressured and hope its a good start from there!

 

[kt7510]

Like several of the other people on here, I googled "delayed ejaculation ttc" and here I am. I too am sorry that this is happening to other people but very glad that we are not alone with this. The whole situation is so frustrating. Trying to get pregnant is difficult enough on its own! And if this were only my issue, I'd feel comfortable talking with my friends about it, but since it involves DH, I don't know who to talk to.

Four months ago, our OBGYN suggested that my husband ejaculate into a diaphragm and that we insert that. DH has been more and more comfortable, and it's been taking less and less time, which is good. At the same point in time, I have no idea if what we're doing to try to conceive actually will work or would even count as "trying."

I'm very interested to hear what other people with this issue are trying and thanks for the support!