Delayed Ejaculation

[tryhardmummy]

Heard very good reports about using vibrators.
I am going to get the courage to "suprise" my hubby.
Fingers crossed.

Thanks for your response RaceUk... But I would just like to say. Women naturally are very kind, compassionate and nurturing especially if your relation ticks all the other boxes.. So naturally we try to be understanding.

 

[amym]

Hi again all

Well, we are definitely starting to have some success...DH told me this morning that it was easier today as he felt I was liking what he was doing so he didn't feel need to change a position that was working for him... before me he was a committed masturbator and had got so used to manual stimulation that vaginal stimulation wasn't really doing it for him...

This is not to say I deny my own pleasure but tbh I put his ejaculation first....we have sex plenty of times where I have fun and he doesn't come, so during ovulation week it's all about him!

 

[Jem88]

I don't mean to offend anyone but most posts in this topic mention that there OH's do there thing in a diffrent room, i can understand why and that they find it easier to do so, but would it not help to be in the same room? maybe both masterbate eachother?
that's what me & my OH do, he has no problem ejaculating thu sex but i don't come thu actual sex, we do foreplay beforehand, we both pleasure eachother and then have sex so he finish's inside me.. maybe that way it's more intimate instead of being in sep rooms?

 

[amym]

I agree with Jem88 - I know whn you're oving you do whatever it takes, and quite right too! But I have discovered after 12 whole months of this, that actually it can be 'fixed' with lots of practice. Just a bit worried that if you separate out maybe he'll never get any closer to being able to come inside you, then back to square 1 when ttc the next one?? just wondering, please no one take offence but it has worked for us....

 

[Waitng4Baby#1]

So listening to all of your comments we tried last week spending lots of time doing other things, trying to take the pressure off and had agreed wouldnt He got so carried away we did end up and he managed to come inside me... hooray!!

Have been doing the ovulation tests which I did the next day and I got the big smiley face! Problem was I was about to catch a flight to go away with work and wouldnt be back for 3 days

What could I do - couldnt get back into bed and jump on him as he would have known today was the day and may have put him off.

So did nothing, which I think was the right thing. Resigned myself to waiting for AF on 27th and trying again next month.....

In the meantime have purchased a vibrator which arrived yesterday - kind of surprised him as never done anything like this before - but he seems up for it so hopefully we can practice for next month!

 

[Waitng4Baby#1]

Hi - my first post ever... like many of you, so delighted I have found others in the same situation!!

I have been TTC since Oct 2009. First few months were fine, kind of expected it could take a couple of months. AF fairly regular. Decided to start with ovulation tests last month, partly curious if I was actually ovulating. So delighted when I was I made the HUGE mistake of telling OH. This is when the delayed ejaculation problems started. Never making that mistake again!!

Its been something off and on has happened over the last 10 years we've been together but to be honest has never been a problem until now when we're TTC. I am totally convinced, as is he, its all in his head and started worrying about TTC rather than enjoying what is going on - going mad as I am trying not to talk to him too much as dont want to make it worse.

Just knowing you are all here helps!

Kinda in the same boat, has been a minor issue before but mostly due to stress etc but now he knows we're ttc its stressed him even more so he's having more trouble with it! Bloody typical eh lol

From now on I'm not gonna tell him ov dates so he doesn't feel as pressured and hope its a good start from there!

I meant to also say - completely agree with not sharing the ov dates!!

 

[amym]

So listening to all of your comments we tried last week spending lots of time doing other things, trying to take the pressure off and had agreed wouldnt He got so carried away we did end up and he managed to come inside me... hooray!!

Have been doing the ovulation tests which I did the next day and I got the big smiley face! Problem was I was about to catch a flight to go away with work and wouldnt be back for 3 days

What could I do - couldnt get back into bed and jump on him as he would have known today was the day and may have put him off.

So did nothing, which I think was the right thing. Resigned myself to waiting for AF on 27th and trying again next month.....

In the meantime have purchased a vibrator which arrived yesterday - kind of surprised him as never done anything like this before - but he seems up for it so hopefully we can practice for next month!

Hurrah!!! Well done, so exciting isn't it when this big block starts to shift away....good luck for continued success!

 

[Waitng4Baby#1]

Thanks hon - you too!

 

[trials]

I used to have delayed ejaculation too, but I cured myself of it.

There's lots of information out there, but none of it really helped me much. The site that really helped me the most was Delayed Ejaculation Resources. The site is by someone who actually had delayed ejaculation himself, so all the advice on there is solid.

You should google delayed ejaculation resources and have a look at it with your OH, see if the exercises on there help, apparently they have a very high success rate.

 

[Crailly]

I had completely forgot about this thread - it's been exactly one year since I wrote something on here (post #7).

It's comforting to find other women with men that has this problem, it's also great to get the male perspective (thanks for speaking up).

Personally I have put the active TTC on hold until after my wedding in September and my honeymoon in October. If something were to actually happen before then, it would be a welcome surprise - but after October I want to have my OH see a doctor (just to make sure there is nothing physiological going on), and then I will be sure to try some of these techniques.

Good luck to all of you TTC right now.

 

[pluto]

Hi - my first post ever... like many of you, so delighted I have found others in the same situation!!

I have been TTC since Oct 2009. First few months were fine, kind of expected it could take a couple of months. AF fairly regular. Decided to start with ovulation tests last month, partly curious if I was actually ovulating. So delighted when I was I made the HUGE mistake of telling OH. This is when the delayed ejaculation problems started. Never making that mistake again!!

Its been something off and on has happened over the last 10 years we've been together but to be honest has never been a problem until now when we're TTC. I am totally convinced, as is he, its all in his head and started worrying about TTC rather than enjoying what is going on - going mad as I am trying not to talk to him too much as dont want to make it worse.

Just knowing you are all here helps!

Kinda in the same boat, has been a minor issue before but mostly due to stress etc but now he knows we're ttc its stressed him even more so he's having more trouble with it! Bloody typical eh lol

From now on I'm not gonna tell him ov dates so he doesn't feel as pressured and hope its a good start from there!

I meant to also say - completely agree with not sharing the ov dates!!

I made the big mistake of sharing OV date this month. Not good idea, obviously made DH a lot more stressed out and he couldn't ejalulate at all (sorry if TMI). Now not sure what to do next....maybe we should go to the doctors and see what he says. Would like some advice, espicially from any males.????

We have been married since october and will be together 3 years in August and he has never come in my presence. I have tried all the reassurances that I can think of, but nothing seems to work. I'm just not sure what to do next....

 

[noja]

So relieved to find this thread, I've been on BnB for ..a while now... and only just found this thread. Found Redfraggle a long time ago-hi Red! Great to get encouragement and advice.

 

[amym]

Hey girls - I'm pregnant!! Cycle 3 once we actually managed to get over the DE problem - keep going my lovelies and good luck!

 

[noja]

There IS light at the end of the tunnel! Keep trying ladies and just do WHATEVER it takes!

 

[Waitng4Baby#1]

Hey - just had a look back in here after a few months. Congrats Amy! I think I saw you got your BFP in another thread but hadnt made the connection with here.

Just wanted to share that since the problems we had early March everything has been back on track. Keeping my + OPKs to myself and it seems to be working so far.

Good luck to all x

 

[Crailly]

Congratulations to amy and noja !!

 

[happyday]

First time on this and Am soo happy to find this forum! its really reassuring to feel i am not alone. been ttc for three months (this is the third - OV now!). just this month have tried the technique where OH 'helped himself' and finished in me (did the whole 'legs in the air' thing too!). Really hoping it works, last month, he managed it and I was soooo convinced i was pregnant..When I took the test (...6 tests actually) I actually felt like i had lost a baby..how crazy is that?!
So many things people have said I can relate to, I havent been able to talk to anyone about this (as sure its the same for many of you) and feel like i have been going mad in my head!
thank you all for being so open, even just writing on this forum i a huge deal for me, as I find these things so hard to talk about!

 

[amym]

Welcome happyday - I do hope all works out for you as you want it to! Have my scan tomorrow - looking forward to the first take home pic of our bean!

 

[Waitng4Baby#1]

Happyday completely understand. I found it one thing to confide in one friend we were ttc but when we had problems a few months ago it's not the kind of details you can share !!

I seriously found the advice on here very helpful. Took the pressure off ttc and got DH to relax. You may find TTHF is better for you than something like SMEP!

Keep at it and FX for you that things will work out like they did for AmyM

 

[Juniper'sMama]

My husband has DE also. The only thing that helps him is me allowing him to go as long as he needs to. Sometimes, it can take upward to 45 minutes to an hour. And on occasion, he just can't get there, so we use a non-lubricated condom and he DTD in that manually and I use a small syringe to insert the semen. My doctor actually recommended we use this method. We concieved our 3rd child using that method.