Did you smoke during a pregnancy?

[bananabump]

Why anyone would take that risk even if it is just a POSSIBILITY is completely beyond me. No matter what is going on in your life and however hard it is, you do it for the sake of your defenceless, unborn child. If you can't then maybe you shouldn't be having a child in the first place.

It's so easy to judge from that high horse. I'm sure every choice you've made in life is chaste and unmarred by the lessons we indecent heathens down here have had to learn. Way to go you. I'm sure your kind, and loving manner has brought you nothing but perfect children, a perfect husband and a joyous life that everyone envies.

What a horrific and sarcastic comment to make. It's comments like this that INFURIATE me. You are POLLUTING your child before it is even born. Why do people NOT see this as an issue?!? What would you say to someone who drank alcohol through pregnancy? Maybe it's you that should get down off your high horse and start taking responsibility for what you are doing to your unborn child instead of babbling on like it'll never happen to you. The reason we're probably having healthy children is nothing to do with our good kind manner, it's called doing everything you possibly can to create a healthy child, I.e not smoking. Also to the person who is going to "update us", get a grip. I genuinely hope your child is born healthy, but would you still update if they weren't?

Like I said in my previous comment, all you ladies that are smoking during pregnancy no matter what excuse you are giving for not quitting... When your little bundle of joy has joined this world, are you going to spark up and with every cigarette blow the smoke directly in to their faces? There is no difference in doing that to what you are doing now.

Well said!!! I couldn't of put it better myself x

 

[pinkpolkadot]

I have only ever smoked a handful of times (all when not pregnant) so I count myself lucky that I obviously don't carry the addiction gene.

I just wanted to put in my tuppence worth after reading some of the replies in the thread.

Personally I think addiction should be treated for what it is instead of shaming, chastising and guilting. It's too easy to do all of things when looking in from the outside (I know, I was guilty of this in the past). The way I see it, unless I have lived that persons life (have their genes, their upbringing, life experiences etc...) it is impossible to know what it's like for them.

Addiction is like an illness, at it's worst it can take over your mind and become more important than anything or anyone else.

If we try to understand why some ladies are struggling so much to kick the habit and help them out with those issues instead of dismissing them as irrelevant excuses then maybe we will get somewhere.

 

[x-MummyToBe-x]

I smoked with my first child up untill 8 weeks bad decision i know.. Hopefull she turned out a healthy perfect little girl.. Didnt smoke with my 2nd pregnancy and ended up having to end pregnancy at 20 weeks 4 days due to very bad complications.. Im not smoking with this pregnancy but i have had the odd couple puffs from a cigg.

 

[bluejen]

The issue is not that ladies smoke in pregnancy, as you say, their life is theirs. However some seem to be justifying smoking during pregnancy by saying I turned out fine, my 1 year old is fine etc. if you want to smoke, that's your call, pregnant or not. What most replies are saying is there are serious dangers/ risks and those ladies claiming the dangers are exaggerated/ unfounded are delusional. I used to smoke. I didn't want to quit, I enjoyed it. As we decided we were going to try for a baby straight after we got married, we both quit 3 months before the wedding. It was hard. I did it anyway because I wanted a healthy baby and to me it's a 'no brainer'. I'm not asking for a medal or anything, I knew the risks and clearly the risk to my own health wasn't an issue ( it is now, I will never smoke again) but a little life with no option but to take what I give them... That's worth all the stressed out, mood swinging days I experienced and more.

 

[modified]

I know of someone who smoked throughout both her pregnancies - both babies were big, plump, healthy babies. I guess she got lucky.

I haven't smoked a real cigarette in about 13 months - I've been smoking e-cigs and have gone from 2.4mg nicotine to 1.8mg and totally struggling without it. I'm so stressed, angry and grumpy at the world I'm scared I'll harm baby that way!

 

[bluejen]

I know of someone who smoked throughout both her pregnancies - both babies were big, plump, healthy babies. I guess she got lucky.

I haven't smoked a real cigarette in about 13 months - I've been smoking e-cigs and have gone from 2.4mg nicotine to 1.8mg and totally struggling without it. I'm so stressed, angry and grumpy at the world I'm scared I'll harm baby that way!

Quitting smoking is the single best thing you can do for your baby good luck with the e cigs, you can do it. You will be grumpy, but it's worth it in the end. You should be really proud of how far you have come, just take it 1 day (or even 1 hour) at a time xx

 

[Tasha]

I smoked during some of my pregnancies.
First pregnancy, DD was induced at 41 weeks, weighing just under 6lbs. Second pregnancy was ectopic, 3rd was very early miscarriage, 4th pregnancy was DS1 born at 38 weeks weight 6lb11oz. I had cut down on my cigarettes, but continued to smoke. 5th pregnancy I was still smoking and lost my son at 15 weeks. I quit immediately and have never touched a cigarette since.
Pregnancy number 6 ended at 14 weeks (a little girl). Number 7 was DS2 who was induced at 40 weeks and born very sickly with an infection. Spent a week in NICU on IV antibiotics, oxygen and phototherapy lights.
Currently pregnant with pregnancy number 8, 39 weeks. Baby is measuring in 75th centile, so another big one.

Do I know if smoking is what caused my miscarriages?? No, I don't and as I also lost a little girl in second tri while I wasn't smoking, i'll never know if its something I caused. I do know that I increased my risks while smoking, and the guilt is something I have to live with every day.

Not got to the end of the thread yet but wanted to give you some Melly, I am sorry that you carry this guilt. I think most angel mummys carry some sort of guilt for something but it is hard if you blame yourself

 

[Tasha]

Finally got to the end (got distracted).

I never smoked in any of my pregnancies (I have been pregnant a lot, 19 times, three live births but all complicated by pre-eclampsia and one of them an IUGR baby, two stillbirths and fourteen miscarriages), I know absolutely that if I had smoked at any point that I would blame myself more than I do. I know it's pot-luck but when you're baby dies or is born with complications or prematurely, you cant help but sit and think what did I do, you go over every detail of your pregnancy over and over, and even if it *may* of been smoking, *may* of been that thing I did/ate or in my case it is my clotting disorders and also these killer cells which attack my babies, and you find something and blame yourself (like Melly mentioned before and like I say now). It's not rational but grief isn't.

Any way, that said. I do get that giving up is HARD and that for some it isn't as simple as I can give up like that, so we should all encourage and support those who are trying to give up, and those that struggle with the fact they have bad days.

 

[BabyMamma93]

Didnt read all of the posts, but i did some, i agree with one of the first, people will probably not like what i am going to say and will probably judge me on what i say, and do.
I am 23 weeks pregnant and 20 YO i have smoked since i was about 13-14, and i continue to smoke now, on my 20 week scan baby was measuring a litter over 20 weeks, and is growing perfectly, they said his heartbeat is perfect and by what they can see, everything is fine. id just had a smoke about 20-25 mins before going in for the scan, i agree there is a big risk in smoking whilst pregnant, it can cause miscarriages, still births and even infant death, but, and as selfish as this sounds, i dont want to stop smoking, if i dont want to no matter how hard i try, i wont, just like a alcoholic, if they dont want to stop drinking for them self they wont. Its not only a addiction but a habbit and i understand it harms baby, if i could stop for that reason alone i would, but unfortunately for some its not as easy as that.
People can judge all they want i personally dont give a flying hoot what people have to say about me smoking, my friend smoked weed all through her pregnancy and her baby was fine, im not condoning what she did and i personally wouldnt, but it goes to prove, although it harms some babies, it doesnt harm others, maybe a selfish risk to take, but almost everything we do in life is selfish, people just have to get other other peoples actions and focus on their own actions and life before judging others..

 

[bananabump]

Hahaha wow. I literally have no words.

 

[Jonesy25]

I smoked from age 11 (yessss 11!) Im 25.now, Found out i was pregnant in 2010 went down to one a day, soon as baby was born went straight back to it! Found out i was pregnant in june and havnt had a cig since....not even a smell of one! Why i found it hard the first time i dont know! But i feel so much better for quitting

 

[AP]

Hahaha wow. I literally have no words.

If you can't support or add something new to the thread then I suggest unsubscribing.

 

[Celesse]

I think the reason that people judge people for smoking during pregnancy is that if you are willing to take such a big well understood, well reported risk with the health of your unborn child then what other risks are you going to be willing to take?

I do understand the addiction, and I understand those who try really hard to stop and have the smallest amount they can manage at the same time as feeling incredibly guilty and hiding it from the world as much as possible. I smoked many years pre baby and was very addicted and could only give up completely when I truly wanted to. There's a difference between "wanting to give up" and "wishing smoking was less harmful to baby". And I do understand how "wishing smoking was less harmful to baby" would only get you so far in quitting, be that temporarily stopped, using a nicotine replacement or smoking a very small amount.

What I don't get people who make absolutely no attempt to quit and see it as completely ok to continue and try to justify this. At the same time they minimise the effects smoking could have on their baby. If your baby turns out ok it doesn't mean you did the right thing, its a lucky escape at best.

Incidentally have you ever felt a smokers placenta? Even when the baby comes out fine they feel crunchy in comparison with a normal placenta.

 

[Linnypops]

I'm an ex smoker but I did start smoking for a short period of time again and got accidentally pregnant. I lost the baby early.... probably not because of smoking...anyway after we decided to properly ttc I quit because I read the statistics on it and didn't want to be quitting whilst also pregnant.

The fact is that anecdotal evidence (as someone earlier in the thread pointed out) counts for nothing when you read the large studies and the rates of preterm birth, sga. I did however discover that the problems seem to rise in accordance with the amount smoked, so less than 5 per day didn't appear to be a significant risk.....that was just what I had understood from it though, but I didn't see the point in risking it anyway. I do know that quitting is difficult, but worth it for everyone involved.

 

[bananabump]

I think the reason that people judge people for smoking during pregnancy is that if you are willing to take such a big well understood, well reported risk with the health of your unborn child then what other risks are you going to be willing to take?

I do understand the addiction, and I understand those who try really hard to stop and have the smallest amount they can manage at the same time as feeling incredibly guilty and hiding it from the world as much as possible. I smoked many years pre baby and was very addicted and could only give up completely when I truly wanted to. There's a difference between "wanting to give up" and "wishing smoking was less harmful to baby". And I do understand how "wishing smoking was less harmful to baby" would only get you so far in quitting, be that temporarily stopped, using a nicotine replacement or smoking a very small amount.

What I don't get people who make absolutely no attempt to quit and see it as completely ok to continue and try to justify this. At the same time they minimise the effects smoking could have on their baby. If your baby turns out ok it doesn't mean you did the right thing, its a lucky escape at best.

Incidentally have you ever felt a smokers placenta? Even when the baby comes out fine they feel crunchy in comparison with a normal placenta.

Spot on x

 

[ClaireJ23]

Changing the subject slightly, but this might also interest you guys. An article I read the other day said that there were 313 cases do babies born with foetal alcohol syndrome in the UK in 2012. That's irreparable damage which results in a child with mental ******ation and physical deformities because the mother drank during pregnancy. So sad for those children who would have otherwise been healthy. Addiction is a problem.

 

[calic]

Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I don’t think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, I’m down to five a day. Struggle doesn’t come close to what I go through every passing hour. I can’t even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think it’s just “putting your mind to it” and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasn’t the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.

I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just “put down the fork” the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc… Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. I’m not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that “hide” your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and it’s okay that it’s hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because you’ve sweated through them for the second time that day. It’s hard to feel like you’re succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. It’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We don’t need your guilt. We don’t need your motivational speeches. We don’t need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe it’s nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I don’t judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I don’t judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Don’t hate me. I certainly don’t want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and I’m sure I’m not alone. We need “Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!”. We do not need shame.

 

[BabyMamma93]

some people just like to judge the 'unperfect' based on their 'perfect' life and actions.
Like i said in my post, i wish i could stop smoking, ive tried, i bought a e cig and the oils for it, and failed its not sat collecting dust doing no good, ive since heard that there have been new found risks in the e cig, as it only contains nicotine (the most addictive part of a cig) they are more addictive than smoking cigarettes, and yes its not got all the other crap in that cigs do, but its easily more addictive. It really annoys me how judgemental people can be on pregnant women who smoke, i get it, its bad and your risking your unborn childs health, but surely thats our problem, not yours?

 

[redlemonade]

Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I don’t think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, I’m down to five a day. Struggle doesn’t come close to what I go through every passing hour. I can’t even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think it’s just “putting your mind to it” and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasn’t the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.

I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just “put down the fork” the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc… Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. I’m not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that “hide” your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and it’s okay that it’s hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because you’ve sweated through them for the second time that day. It’s hard to feel like you’re succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. It’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We don’t need your guilt. We don’t need your motivational speeches. We don’t need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe it’s nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I don’t judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I don’t judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Don’t hate me. I certainly don’t want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and I’m sure I’m not alone. We need “Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!”. We do not need shame.

This is very well said. Well done to you for cutting down and I wish you all the very best in continuing to cut down and with your pregnancy.

The withdrawals sound awful, I'm sorry you're going through that. I don't have experience personally but I know from speaking to other smokers that it does get easier. You're doing great!

I'm sorry if any of my posts came across as shaming? I am very anti smoking so I may have done. I, for one, would never intentionally shame (I don't know if you were referring to me in your post) but I guess I just find it hard being a second hand smoker a lot of the time.

Best of luck to you

 

[bananabump]

Smoking during pregnancy (or any other time) is bad. I will not dispute, qualify, or diminish the science related to that in any way, shape or form. However, I don’t think shaming and lashing out is the right answer. Pre-pregnancy I was easily a two pack a day smoker. At this point, I’m down to five a day. Struggled doesn’t come close to what I go through every passing hour. I can’t even think by the hour, I struggle to get through every 15 minutes. I can only sleep 4.5 hours a night because I wake up from nicotine withdrawal. I spend 19.5 hours every day taking it 15 minutes at a time. I am drinking nearly two gallons of water a day just because it gives me something to put in my mouth. I understand a lot of you think it’s just “putting your mind to it” and I can tell you, this is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and my quit date is the 9th of January. Before getting pregnant, I lost 74 pounds over the last two years. I did it for my health and because I wanted children. I knew the risks associated with being obese and being pregnant and that was the battle I felt I could win first. I honestly thought I had more time to quit before getting pregnant because I had been on Depo so long. But that wasn’t the case. I work with a pregnancy smoking cessation counselor, my doctors and nurses are thrilled with my progress, and I work my ass off every single day.

I understand the sentiment that what we are doing is harmful, but do you react the same way when you see an overweight or obese woman pregnant? Do you expect her to just “put down the fork” the moment she finds out she is pregnant? Do you think that she is an awful person because she struggles with it everyday and some days she loses? The science is pretty clear on this subject too. Overweight and obese women carry a higher chance of premature babies, having hypertension, diabetes, other gestational complications etc… Yes, smoking can cause premature birth, so can extra weight. Yet, we smokers are maligned and ostracized, criticized, made to feel worthless and bad mothers because we have an addiction that we fight every hour. I’m not here to slam curvy women, I was one. Health and wellbeing are more important than any number on the scale. I remember the struggle, I remember hating myself, I remember have nothing to wear and being relegated to the back of the store for floral patterned clown tents that “hide” your fat. I support those women. I tell them that they are trying to do what is best for themselves/babies/children/family. I tell them that they are beautiful and it’s okay that it’s hard. Sometimes it takes time, some days you win, some you lose. Sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the benefit of quitting when your entire body is racked with pain, and the headaches and nausea are easily solved with a six inch long lit cigarette. When you change your clothes again because you’ve sweated through them for the second time that day. It’s hard to feel like you’re succeeding as you deeply inhale the smoke and know what it is doing to your unborn baby. It’s hard to look at yourself in the mirror, or to see your nicotine stained hands rub your belly apologizing. We don’t need your guilt. We don’t need your motivational speeches. We don’t need the science or stares. We know. We hurt. Every single puff. Some may still tell us to suck it up, but next time think of where in your pregnancy that you may be lacking. Maybe it’s nutrition. I eat whole, non-processed foods, I don’t judge your pre-packaged McDonalds. I drink water only, I don’t judge your soda. I offer support and understanding. I offer love and guilt free motivation. I offer you friendship because we all struggle with something. We are all lacking somewhere. Don’t hate me. I certainly don’t want enemies here. Women struggle with this though. This site is supposed to be supportive, but instead I feel maligned and I’m sure I’m not alone. We need “Congratulations on trying to quit, going down to three a day is great!”. We do not need shame.

There's a huge difference between women like yourself and women who really couldn't give two hoots and are totally uneducated about the effects of smoking on their babies. The type of people who say their Mum smoked with them and they're fine etc I can't condone someone feeling no guilt about what they're doing.

I'm really sorry for what you're experiencing and I hope it starts to get easier soon.