Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[sugarlove]

thanks Mone. I've only been pg once and I got my BFP about 10 days after AF was due. It was ridiculously late and I kept feeling more and more pg but seeing BFN's. Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether the mc was caused by the low progesterone I've got now. Who knows!
I've got my best mate and her bloke coming to stay tonight. I'm making a Xmas dinner for them and have got loads of prosecco in for us all to have. I don't know what to do now. I'd be amazed if I was pg from the crappy low progest levels, but I suppose there's always a chance. Why does this all have to be so bloody complicated!

Sorry you're feeling crap Mone. Xmas is a peculiar time of yr. Everyone's meant to be happy. but if you're not, it feels utterley shit. You're bound to be feeling rubbish after all you've been through. I think you've coped amazingly well. Do you have to go out? Could you not put it back to another day when you're feeling stronger?
So your Dad is French! Thought you looked a bit Medittaranean from some of your fb pics!


Bleu, where abouts in France do you live? I love France!

 

[Megg33k]

Hi girls tell me I'm crazy and slap me across the face.
AF has still not arrived, which gives me a LP of 12 days this month. It hasn't been this long for months. I've been feeling sick on and off all week and have strange pains in my tum. I've tested this morn but it's a bfn. However last time I was pg, it took me ages after af was due to get a bfp. I've taken my temp this morn and it's 36.6, need to fill ff in. I foolishly stopped doing it when the spotting started as I thought af was on way. My progesterone was also really crap this month 7dpo, it was only 8.1.
I've now spent the night worrying about going out the other night and drinking and smoking. Please tell me I'm being stupid and there's no way I could be pg with crappy progesterone levels like that!
X
X

Its not impossible... Its not likely... but not impossible. Of course, I'm going off of US units of measure. I don't know what your 8.1 is measured in. If its not the same as ours, ignore everything I've said.

Not good news at my scan we have had another MMC, the baby died just after my last scan at 8 weeks. I am so angry right now and fucked off at my stupid body!!!

I'm still crying for you! I can't believe this, Raz! Its so fucking unfair for you to have to deal with this again! And, its so similar to my circumstances last year at Christmas. I wish there was something I could do, but I know that there's nothing to make it better! Just know we're here for you!

oh raz, I'm so sorry honey. I'm here for you if you need anything. Damnit, this is so fucking unfair.

Off topic, but one of my others girls on here went through exactly what you did... on the same day even. She saw a HB and then had the same thing happen less than 24 hours later. I just wanted to give you an extra hug... because you've been so supportive of everyone else even through your own heartache!

Sugar - I've just read back... I don't know much about LP's etc, but when do you normally get your BFP? What CD are you on? Don't worry about the drinking and smoking, think how many women who aren't trying get pregnant for weeks without even knowing. Obviousy it's not ideal, but won't of caused any harm. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Bleu - sorry I don't know anything about temping (I tried it for a bit but have no discipline), but their are some professional temping ladies on here who will be able to help. Welcome to our thread! Notice you are in France, I lived there for a while as a child (my dad is french), we were in Sisteron in Provence, have very fond memories! Don't give up hope of a BFP this month.

Megg - I can't stop thinking about your embies and just how incredible the whole journey is that you've been on. Not long to wait now until the 22nd, will have everything crossed for you, but I'm sure you will have your BFP as the best Christmas present ever.

Amy - as sugar said NTNP will take the stress off and maybe you could coordinate visits with ov. Hope you will be more 'on' than 'off' here, but I understand how it helps to get a break away and clear your head from it all, it becomes so bloody all consuming.

It's such a miserable day here today in London, I have to go out but I'm putting it off as I really just want to curl up with a Dvd and mope. I've never been a big christmas lover but i'm finding it hard to find any joy or optimism at the moment (one of my due dates was 24th Dec). life feels so shit just now.

Thank you! It brings tears to my eyes when people compliment them. I'm so proud of them already. I just hope they continue to do what they're meant to do.

I'm so sorry that life feels so shitty at the moment. Although, I wouldn't expect it to be sunshine and rainbows for you with everything you've been through. Just don't push yourself to be happy when you're not. You have the right to grieve!

 

[heart tree]

Raz sweetheart, I just woke up and ran to my computer to find out about your scan. I'm absolutely devastated for you. There are many of us here who have had several in a row. I wish you weren't part of this group. You deserve to get some answers. This is not fair. I wish there was something that would make this easier. Make sure to get lots of hugs and make sure to rest as best you can. We're here for you.

 

[dawny690]

So sorry Raz its so unfair xxxx

 

[heart tree]

Grandbleu, good to see you joining us a little more. I agree with the other ladies about temping. You can’t count them after you’ve been up and about for 3 hours. But you aren’t out until AF shows herself.

Sugar, Megg already said it. If your progesterone is measured in the same units as here in the UK, the likelihood of a bean sticking is pretty low. And really don’t worry about the bender you had the other night. Lots of women have them when they are pregnant. My sister said she knew she was pregnant when she wasn’t able to get drunk (she’s not a big drinker, so it surprised her when she wasn’t getting drunk at all after a night of drinking). Anyway, she has 2 perfect children.

Nato, look at you and your EWCM. You need to have a party and the EWCM will be your guest of honor! Good luck and have fun with your preggo friend.

Amy, I had a feeling you were going to tell us that you wouldn’t be here much anymore. I’m going to miss you tremendously. I completely understand though. Please give us updates on how you are doing from time to time. I really want to see a picture of your new puppy! Take good care of yourself babe.

I've never been a big christmas lover but i'm finding it hard to find any joy or optimism at the moment (one of my due dates was 24th Dec). life feels so shit just now.

Mone, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I’ve never been a big Christmas lover either, but I had my first mc on Christmas Eve 2 years ago and was on the operating table last Christmas Eve to have my second D&C (which they decided not to do at the very last minute, but ended up doing in January. They wanted to do it on New Year’s Eve but I told them I needed at least one holiday that wasn’t full of bad memories, so I made them wait.) I’m sorry you are feeling so shitty right now. You have a partner on the other side of the pond who feels the same.

I had a shit night last night. Since AF came on, I decided I wanted to go out to dinner with Tim and have some drinks. Everything was great until he brought up a friend of ours who has 2 kids. I was fine with the conversation about this fellow, until Tim said “you were really mad when I told you his news.” I said “what news?” He said, “the news that he had his second baby.” I said “I wasn’t mad, I was just very sad because he had his baby a few days after my last mc.” Then Tim gets upset with me saying he can never talk about his friend without me getting upset. WTF??? I wasn’t upset talking about him until you drilled the conversation down to a specific point in my life when I was upset. GRRRR. I felt like he twisted the whole conversation and I felt like I was shoved into a corner. So then I was upset. I almost started crying at the dinner table. Fuck.

Then we went to see a girl that Tim knows who was singing with a band at a local pub. I haven’t seen her in years and was dreading the conversation. I hate questions like “how have you been?” or “What have you been up to?” How do you answer those? I usually just say I’m fine and change the topic. Anyway one of the questions she asks is “Are you guys going to have kids or what?” My jaw dropped. I flatly told her “That was a really bad question. I’ve had 3 miscarriages and I got my period today.” She apologized and told me she had 2 mcs herself and she couldn’t believe she would ask such a stupid question. I could barely look at her after that.

All I wanted to do was go home, cry and go to bed. So much for a night out to forget about my problems.

 

[vickyd]

Heary great response girl!!! I said suff like ha when some nosy cow asked why i didn have kids!
Sorry o hear you didn have such a great nite with tim...Ive had similar arguments with Alex, he always hinted that i had become a jelous bitter woman. They dont get it do they?
Sending lots of love your way...

 

[heart tree]

Thanks for the support Vicky. Yeah it felt really good to tell that girl exactly what was on my mind. I didn't feel bad about it at all. If you are going to ask a question like that, I'm going to answer you honestly.

And what's up with men? Really, they don't get it at times. I'm still annoyed with him.

How are you doing babes? How's the little one?

 

[sugarlove]

Hearty it sounds like you had a night from hell you poor thing. Men really don't think the way we do about our losses do they? I'm surprised that that girl said such a stupid thing if she's had 2 mcs herself. Very foolish! Lots of sad new for my disco buddies. Hope we all get some better news soon xx

I reckon I'm out now anyway. Have had some horrendous pains today and wiped bright red blood before. Don't know what's going on with my stupid body, but I'm going to have a few glasses of prosecco with my mate and have a good night.

Love to you all
Xx

 

[vickyd]

Im not doing great, i had a major panic atack last night because i hadnt felt her all day....My heart was racing and i felt dizzy like i was having a heart attack....I had convinced myself that she had passed like 100%. Anyway, im a bit better today after feeling her a bit but honestly i dont know how i will get through the last stretch....

 

[heart tree]

Sugar, in some ways I'm relieved for you to get AF now. At least you can stop worrying about a possible pregnancy and can hopefully enjoy the prosecco tonight. I have a big bottle of it waiting for me. Maybe I'll drink it tonight and join you!

If today really is CD 1 of your cycle, can you get your bloods done on Monday?

 

[heart tree]

Vicky, she was probably just resting. Everyone is entitled to a rest. You will get through this last stretch. You might not get through it calmly or relaxed, but you will get through it. When do you go in for another scan?

 

[vickyd]

Thursday is my next scan....
I wen and go my hair done today, got some nice highlights so at leas i dont look like a bag lady anymore!
By the way check this out...On Friday the temp was 19 degrees and today its snowing!!!!! How fucked up is this planet?????

 

[Allie84]

Raz, I am so so sorry. It is SO unfair, and I feel awful that you and Amy have had to go through this this week. I'm really really sorry. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you get some answers soon.

 

[sugarlove]

I'll raise a glass to you Hearty!
xx

 

[Allie84]

Wow, Vicky, talk about climate change. That is pretty crazy. Please try not to worry about your bubs, though I know that's impossible. You will get through these last few months!

bleu, I sincerely hope that temp drop was just a fluke and you are still in it, girlie. I also looove France. But I think you're from Scotland, right? DH is Scottish, so I looove Scotland even more!

Sugar, enjoy your night with your friends and definitely enjoy the drinks.

Amy, I'm sad to hear you won't be on here as much. But I do completely understand. I hope these next few months go by quickly for you and you keep us up to date on your new flat and your new puppy. I can always Facebook stalk you. Thinking of you.

Megg, I love your new pic of your embies. I can't believe this is finally happening!

Mone, I imagine with a due date of Dec. 24th the holidays will be hard. Thinking of you.

Hearty, sorry Tim was insensitive at dinner last night, and also about that girl asking you dumb questions. I LOVE your frank response, however. I had a similiar experience last night, actually.

Alex and I went to our church's Christmas party. It was really cute and full of babies and Alex kept saying "Aww, I'm so broody. I really hope you're pregnant. I think you're getting pregnant right now" I was just like "Um, no pressure. Please don't get your hopes up every month like this, because I don't anymore." Everything was good but one lady came to chat and was talking about the baby boom in the congregation, which I knew about. There are 8 pregnant ladies due in the next 6 months! Then another lady was chatting with us and asked when we were going to have children. I didn't have a Hearty-esque response, I just knocked on the table and said "Well, hopefully soon." It was a fun party, though.

I still haven't purchases progesterone cream. Every single one in the nutrition store had the warning about it causing cancer. And none of them said they were bio-identical. One said it was plant derived, does that count? I hope it's not getting too late to start it. My temps are rising nicely but I don't want that to lead me into a false sense of progesterone security.

 

[heart tree]

Allie, nice temp rise. Did you find the progesterone? Your rise suggests you don't need it to me.

Vicky I can't wait to hear about Thursday.

I had to look up a celcius to farenheit converter. 19 is way below freezing in farenheit! But in celcius, it converts to 66 farenheit. I can't believe it is snowing now! Does it usually snow there? We don't get any snow in San Francisco. I kind of miss it. Where I grew up, we had huge blizzards. In SF it is just rain during the winter. Tim and I will probably go to the mountains next weekend to go skiing. I can't wait to play in the snow.

(Oh and yes, this planet is fucked up).

 

[heart tree]

Ok Sugar, let's raise a glass together! Why isn't there a prosecco/champers guy. There is a wine guy a beer guy and even drunk people

Allie, my acupuncturist told me why to get bio-identical, but now I don't remember why. She said Emerita was the only safe one, but again, I don't remember why. Remind me again why you think you need it? You LP from last cycle looks great.

I'm sorry about your night. What's up with our men lately? And what's up with the rest of the world?

 

[vickyd]

We get snow in Northern Greece every year and every couple of years in Athens. It usually never lasts longer than a week so we get very excited! usually though we get a good ccouple of months of winter like weather before it starts snowing lol!!!

 

[msarkozi]

Raz - I'm so sorry!!!

Vicky - I totally know what you mean. I am going to end up driving myself crazy too, and so I am just trying to not even think about it. Baby hasn't been moving as much in the past couple days, but since I do still feel him every now and then, I just keep telling myself everything is fine.

 

[Allie84]

Allie, my acupuncturist told me why to get bio-identical, but now I don't remember why. She said Emerita was the only safe one, but again, I don't remember why. Remind me again why you think you need it? You LP from last cycle looks great.

I think I need it because my progesterone last cycle at 6dpo was only 4.6!! I know I had the test taken a day early but that still seems really low. The gyno doc said that it probably rose to an adequate level by 7dpo but it would have had to double for that to be true, so I'm convinced my levels are low.

I know, it's weird because my LP is long enough. The cycle before my 7dpo levles were 9.6.

The brands I found were Femgest and Natural Woman, no Emerita.