Do you think its odd?

[mumoffive]

that a guy that is a 'house husband' and spends his days looking after his little girl who is at nursery would invite mothers around to have lunch with their children so that his daughter has children to play with or do you find that a bit strange? Have you had any men in these circumstances do this kind of thing where you live? I never thought that much about it, but my dh finds it very odd that a guy would want to do that. What do you think?

 

[sue_88]

No, why on earth is that odd?

Just because he's a man he can't develop a social life with other parents - whatever sex they happen to be?

I think it's wonderful that he does that for his child and for his own sanity being a SAHD. Sounds like a great dad.

I can only think that someone who finds it strange is insecure.

 

[mumoffive]

Thats good to hear as others at my work thought it was weird too!!!! I didnt really think about it tbh until my dh said it. He is insecure tbh so i was wondering if it was more to do with his hang up!

 

[Mummy Bean]

my dad bought me up on his own, and was often friends with my friends mums.

 

[emyandpotato]

Too much emphasis is put on gender. It's crazy. It's no weirder than a mum inviting other mums over. It must be so incredibly lonely for SAHDs if they are considered so alien even by other parents; it's bad enough they are considered an oddity in society as a whole without SAHMs reacting in such a way.

 

[LegoHouse]

My OH knows more of the mums than I do

 

[Eleanor ace]

No...? I would see that as a regular aspect of being a stay at home parent- helping your children to socialise in different situations, and having a bit of adult company as a bonus! I have regular play dates for my DS and would expect my DH to do the same if he stayed at home. One of my parent friends is a SAHD and he comes over for play dates (we don't go to him as he lives too far away).

 

[LoraLoo]

Absolutely not odd or weird in the slightest! x

 

[special_kala]

No, why on earth is that odd?

Just because he's a man he can't develop a social life with other parents - whatever sex they happen to be?

I think it's wonderful that he does that for his child and for his own sanity being a SAHD. Sounds like a great dad.

I can only think that someone who finds it strange is insecure.

 

[Belle25]

He sounds a good dad to me. Xx

 

[porkypig]

Good for him for doing it but if I'm totally honest with myself, I wouldn't really like it and I'm no way insecure; probably coz I'd be jealous of not being able to do it myself! Xx

 

[discoclare]

I would think it was odd if he didn't make friends with the other stay at home parents. My OH wouldn't do this though - he hates having to make what he considers "mindless chit chat" with other people!

 

[supertabby]

No, not odd!

I'm friends with a group of mums who all met at postnatal group 2 years ago. One of the couples split the leave and mum went back to work after 6 months while dad took the next 6 months. This actually led to him becoming a stay at home dad.

He's part of our "mums" group, we all get together at people's houses etc so the kids can play. The first thing we did when they swapped roles was make sure he knew he was welcome in our group.

It's unusual as not many couples take advantage of splitting leave, and very few men choose to stay at home. But I don't find it odd or weird. I also think it would be a real shame if someone thought a dad couldn't get involved in parent-child social situations like a mum, just because of his gender. I saw a debste last night on tv about feminism but that attitude right there would be sexist to men.

 

[mumoffive]

Thanks for your responses, they are interesting. I think maybe i have asked the wrong question. Maybe the question should be would your dh do it? Mine wouldnt as he is not interested in the womens chat kind of thing.
Btw, i dont personally have any issue with him asking mums round. Its just im surprised as a guy he would be interested in the kind of chat that woman have.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Just asked my Dh and he said he would, but only after speaking to other parents at groups first, which I imagine is what most of us do. He did say that he'd worry that they'd think he was weird for wanting to hang out with a bunch of women which is sad, all parents should be equal regardless of gender!

 

[babyhopes2010]

whilst for me,it would unbalance our relationship to the point we would probably get a divorce. being traditional works very well for us

BUT i dont judge anyone who wants to be a sahd and have friends over as weird.

I think women in general are able to cope better staying at home then men. but there are men that find being a full time sahd v natural. and i think thats sweet

i asked dh his opinion. Well!!! i wont even put what he said lets put it this was he doesnt think its a mans job

 

[Lucasmum]

I dont find it odd, but thats because we have a situation like that, though both me and OH work full time he works from home so he is more often than not the one who picks Lucas up from school and takes him to friends houses, or has friends round to ours, he also takes Lucas to most of his clubs/activities on his own where its mostly other mothers one of the only things I do is take Lucas to ice hockey training and thats where its mostly other dads, complete role reversal going on in our home

 

[sue_88]

I'd be annoyed if whoever was looking after my baby at home DIDN'T make an effort to give her a social life with children her age, and in turn get to know the other parents.

Man/woman/dad/mum who cares!

 

[AP]

I imagine I'd actually be ok with this, im very insecure after his past but in terms of meetings other mothers for both his and his childs benefit, im cool with that.

In relity though would he do it? I doubt it, he likes some of the parents and has a lot of respect then but a quick chat at the nursery is all thats needed for him. He does need the interaction though but I know a Dads autism support group he can go to, which hes excited about (they meet at the pub )

 

[july2013]

I think it's great that a Dad would do that. There are definitely far fewer SAHD's, so it's nice for him to socialise with other parents. Not at all weird.