Does anyone else not care that they ended with csec?

[victoriav]

I don't care that I ended up with a c section, but I do care that it was under a general anaesthetic because I didn't get to see her arrive, couldn't hold her for ages, and then she went to NICU.

That's just me being pathetic though.

 

[MrsPOP]

It was the entire experience that traumatised me, not the C Section on its own.

Unless you know the full details of what happened to someone, you mightnt realise the effect it has on them. Im sure all ladies are grateful that their LOs arrived safely and soundly, but that doesnt mean they are not allowed to find what happened to them difficult to get over and it doesnt mean people are 'pathetic' for finding it tough to get over major surgery.

My LO did arrive safe and sound but she was very ill afterwards which meant the EMCS due to fetal distress after a 36 hour induction for pre-elampsia paled in comparison. All I cared about was my LO. But once we were home and she was better, I found it difficult to look back on her birth, so much when we went back 3 weeks later to register her I had a panic attack in the car park at the thought of stepping foot in a place that treated my LO and me so badly.

Women can develop PND and even PTSD after a C Section (normally an EMCS). That doesnt make them pathetic. People handle things differently is all it is.

Kudos to those ladies who havent it let it get to them, you're al very brave. Especially you mummy2lola, you're such a brave lady

 

[Palestrina]

it really annoys me & I think their pathetic.

I was really pathetic too. Don't get me wrong, I got my baby at the end of the pregnancy which is all I that matters except.... well wait.... my baby was taken away to the NICU for a week. Wasn't able to hold him or BF him. Was blamed that he was born under weight. Went through 27hrs of labour with abnormal contractions (lasted 3minutes before I'd even gotten to 1cm dilation).

And then later it was even more pathetic, got stuck with a mean nurse on my 2nd night who refused to bring me pain medication or help me walk to the bathroom. And those drugs - wow - soooooo pathetic. On painkillers which made me so drowsy and wooozy and led to paranoia that I couldn't even trust myself to pick up the baby. Bonding? Took weeks to feel like he was even my baby.

I would never EVER hold it against someone that they didn't regret their C-section and I only wish I could be so lucky. In fact, I don't regret the surgery because without it me and my LO might not be here now. However I do not remember the experience as a good one at all. To be labeled pathetic is heartless.

 

[MrsPOP]

Palestrina.

 

[stepmum]

I'm just as pathetic too

My little boy was away from me for 16 days..I know which route I would have preferred and it wouldn't have resulted in a scar on my bikini line, not that my scar makes one iota of difference, I would have suffered a million scars to be the first person to hold my baby.

 

[darkangel1981]

it really annoys me & I think their pathetic.
I had a drug free natural birth & my son ended up in intensive care for 2 weeks with near renal failure.
he'll have to have checkups on his neurology for rest if his childhood.
be happy you have a healthy child & got to see them & hold them. I didn't hold him until he was a week old.

Don't think that harsh is even the word...

its really scary when everything that you think you are in control of gets taken out of your hand in seconds flat because you hear your baby is distressed . Remember that just because you are carrying a life doesn't mean that its not your body too... and when you are in such a vulnerable state.

I didn't get to see my son and i truly remember little of the first 24 hours.

 

[Srrme]

I had a C-Section, but I honestly don't care too much now. At first, I was dreading having a C-Section because I feared it would hinder me from caring properly for my toddler (picking him up mainly) but my husband helped a lot during the first 2 weeks. My healing process was pretty quick, and the only pain medication I needed to take the entire time (during my stay in the hospital, and at home for 1 1/2 weeks) was Ibuprofen.

I bonded immediately to my son, and it didn't cause any problems so to speak. I would think the NICU journey would prevent bonding more than the C-Section, but it didn't (my first spent 11 weeks in the NICU, so I was prepared). We're exclusively breastfeeding too.

Yes, I would have PREFERRED to have had him naturally, but I couldn't, and as long as he is happy and healthy, I'm fine with it.

 

[Itsychik]

it really annoys me & I think their pathetic.
I had a drug free natural birth & my son ended up in intensive care for 2 weeks with near renal failure.
he'll have to have checkups on his neurology for rest if his childhood.
be happy you have a healthy child & got to see them & hold them. I didn't hold him until he was a week old.

I'm not sure exactly what annoys you exactly or who/what you think is pathetic... but please refrain from making comments that come across as harsh and judgemental.

I could suggest that you make a visit to the loss forums and realize how lucky you are that your child lived at all... but that doesn't change how you feel, just like people who are upset over their c-sections have a right to feel however they do. Please don't belittle someone elses pain, no matter whether you find it trivial or not.

 

[vintage67]

My two c-sections have never bothered me, but I must say seeing the way some people online feel about c-sections has taken me aback a few times. I'm talking about all the hostility aimed at women who had them by some.

I can sympathize with "c-section grief" because I've gone through breastfeeding grief...twice.

I only wish some of women who had c-sections and grieve could feel a bit more sympathy to women who weren't able to breastfeed. (I'm only thinking of certain cases).

It is very difficult to have your lovingly laid out plans for your baby and yourself to go awry. But I think the "crap negativity" on the internet about "too posh to push", "unnatural" deliveries, formula as "poison" and all the other militant viewpoints out there, push women to feelings of extreme depression and failure.

It needs to stop.

A person can't even grieve in peace without being bombarded.

 

[whistle]

I don't regret the c sec, it saved my life and saved my eldest son too. I regret being under general, not seeing my babies being born, missing so much of my son's short life (he only lived for 8 hours and I wasted most of that off my face on morphine) and not cuddling my other son for the first 3 weeks of his life. I feel jealous of women who have given birth vaginally. Next time it will be a VBAC if at all possible, but a necessary c sec won't be the end of the world, as long as everyone involved is safe and happy.

 

[ahcigar1]

I am and I'm not at the same time. I'm not upset on the fact that I ended up with one because it was best and safest for my baby since her heartrate was dropping down to 60bpm every time I had a contraction. Also my body was not contracting properly while in active labor. I was having 5-6 minute long contractions, I have a rare condition where my uterous didn't know how to relax again properly.

But at the same time I'm uspet that I ended up with one because it caused LO and I to be seperated and for her to go to NICU for 4 days which now has caused me to have bonding issues with her.

So for me I am 50/50 on the situation.

 

[caiis101]

I have no regrets when it comes to my c-section. I trusted my doctor and feel it was the best decision. I do wonder from time to time what it would have been like to have a natural birth. However I always have the mind set of things happen for a reason. I am fortunate enough to say that my c-section went smoothly, recovery was not bad at all and my LO is healthy and beautiful.

 

[Lina]

it really annoys me & I think their pathetic.
I had a drug free natural birth & my son ended up in intensive care for 2 weeks with near renal failure.
he'll have to have checkups on his neurology for rest if his childhood.
be happy you have a healthy child & got to see them & hold them. I didn't hold him until he was a week old.

Well that too is pathetic, he is alive isn't he? that is all that matters.

 

[chezziepie]

Me I think my C Section was the best thing that could have happened for me and LO. He is safe I am safe and we can all be a happy family

 

[fedupwaiting]

I had 12 hours of back to back labour and nearly two hours of pushing. But she just kept getting stuck.

When they said emergency csection I said yes right away. If they had told me they would have to cut the top off my head to get her out safe i would have said yes.

5 months later I have no regrets, concerns or even thoughts about my section because my baby got here safe and loves me despite not ripping my vagina to shreds... (Joke)

I have no interest in a vbac and will choose a section next time.

 

[mummy2lola]

Sorry ladies I've only just come back on.

Now,to say someone is pathetic bcoz they r upset over their situation is quite harsh,u r clearly very upset over what happened to u and ur baby,do u not have the right to b without someone calling u pathetic? In no way was I saying people were wrong to have these feelings,I was wondering if I was emotionally dead inside for not feeling anything tbh lol to me everyone is grateful they got their baby safely at the end of it,no one ever disputes this but for some,their experience ruins the whole thing for them and how can caring about something that was important to u b pathetic?

Sometimes it only takes one word to turn a thread completely the wrong way and this isn't how I wanted it to go so let's try and think outside the box and not let everything b so black and white xx

 

[tiggerpony]

Dont care? I WISH mine had ended in a bloody section, then I woudn't be sat here with a fistula and facing an op with a temp colostomy bag. I think people should be able to choose to have a section, a section would of been a piece of cake comapred to what Ive been through. Forceps, 4th degree tear, they cut me and 6 months on still not healed and have a rectal vaginal fistula...

 

[Rosie06]

im so greatfull for my c section if they didnt act when they did my DD would not be here (midwifes called her a dead baby) i have a very happy healthly little girl will always be thankfull for how quickly they acted, however i do sometimes feel a little saddened that i didnt get to experience labour DH thinks im mental lol only as LO is likely to be our only one due to us having IVF but never the less if i had to have anothe c section i would do it all over again without a shadow of a doubt x

 

[OmarsMum]

I asked for a CS several times as I felt there was something wrong but they didn't listen! They wanted a natural birth at the hospital. I had an EMCS, the trauma affected my bonding but not the CS itself. Omar was born poorly & he needed assistance to breath, he was also stuck. My water was meconium stained when it broke, I didn't go into labour after 18 hours of induction & I didn't dilate past 1.5 cms. Next time I want to go for elective CS, I can't go through all this stress again xx

 

[fedupwaiting]

Dont care? I WISH mine had ended in a bloody section, then I woudn't be sat here with a fistula and facing an op with a temp colostomy bag. I think people should be able to choose to have a section, a section would of been a piece of cake comapred to what Ive been through. Forceps, 4th degree tear, they cut me and 6 months on still not healed and have a rectal vaginal fistula...

You poor soul