Does anyone else not care that they ended with csec?

[seoj]

I had to come to terms earlier on in my pregnancy that I was having a c-section (due to placenta previa my baby had no other way to come out!). So maybe my take on it is different that someone who went into labor and then had to have a c-section anyway? I'm sure every experience can vary.

But personally, I'm SO glad I had a c-section... I got to meet my LO a bit earlier (I was scheduled at 38wks, but then she decided it was time at 36+4 anyway- lol)... the overall labor experience was just lovely. All the doctors and nurses and staff were great and even though that had, originally, been one of my biggest fears- it was CAKE! Not sure what I was even worried about? The recovery had some rough moments for sure... but I'm guessing that would happen no matter what.

For me, I felt like that was how my LO was meant to arrive... and I was calm and coherent when I got to see her for the first time, and pain free... so really not too shabby.

I don't know any other way though... so that's my two cents on my personal experience. But I don't feel I missed out on anything- my baby arrived how she arrived. But seeing her and holding her was the most important part for me.

 

[creatingpeace]

I feel lucky to have had one, I was scared shitl@ss to have a vaginal birth to be frank. My labour ended up in complications which required a c-section and I have no regrets, Heck I wasn't wearing a bikini for several years before I got pregnant. My baby is happy and healthy, it all worked out.

 

[patch2006uk]

I think my c-section hit me hard because I was never even in labour. I've told the story a couple of times on different threads, but basically I was allowed to go 18 days overdue (they even sent me home at 17 days home because 'I'd probably go naturally overnight') and when they finally agreed to induce me and broke my waters, they were so thick with meconium, it was like I had diarrhea (nice!) LO's heart rate hadn't been great all morning, and then when they finally put the drip in to induce, his heart stopped. I was whisked for surgery, and they were about to put me under when they found a heart rate, and it was just about stable enough for me to stay conscious. The man in the operating theatre came at me with the liability disclaimer form and just said 'I didn't think you were going to have chance to sign this!'

LO was born absolutely brown with meconium, struggling to breath, struggling to regulate his temperature and, because of being suctioned, unwilling to open his mouth to feed. They whisked him straight away to the doctors to sort him out, and they were threatening to admit him if he didn't sort his breathing. He was allowed out into recovery with my husband while I was sorted out and sewn up, and he did manage to sort his breathing, and he was placed on a heat mat, which warmed him up.

During the night on the ward, he kept vomiting up meconium. It was neon green and disgusting, and he was sick on himself in the night. I called the midwife over, who said he was fine and then left him as he was. His blood sugars were taken then too, and she said they were 'within normal levels'.

The morning staff came and they were horrified - he was covered in sick, freezing cold, his blood sugars in the night had actually been low, and he still wouldn't feed. I was allowed to give him one more chance to latch on, but when he wouldn't I was told I had to give him formula. I asked to cup feed him, and that's what we did. Later that day, he failed the newborn hearing tests twice (it turns out he does have a hearing loss), and he still wasn't regulating his temperature, and he was on a heat mat for most of that day too.

There were many things that were awful about the first few days of his life, and the c-section was just sort of the start of things going wrong. Also, if I'd been able to have immediate skin to skin, and feed him within the first hour; if I'd been able to change his wet clothes that first night; if I'd been able to pick him up and cuddle him to keep him warm. But I was numb from the ribs down, had a catheter, a cannula in each hand with a drip in one of them. So I couldn't look after my tiny son, who needed me.

I mourned the birth I never experienced (I'd been set for a water birth in the midwife led unit), and I worry that with any more babies, that if I don't go into labour I'll have to go through another c-section. I hate that my body let me and LO down.

 

[MrsPOP]

to Patch

 

[victoriav]

Bloody hell patch. That's quite a delivery - quite similar to my own. It sounds like the staff let you down rather than your body letting anyone down. And you've managed a year of breastfeeding! Amazing!

 

[Loui1001]

Doesn't bother me either. All I wanted through my pregnancy was a healthy baby who arrived safely, how he arrived didn't make any difference

 

[patch2006uk]

Bloody hell patch. That's quite a delivery - quite similar to my own. It sounds like the staff let you down rather than your body letting anyone down. And you've managed a year of breastfeeding! Amazing!

Thanks I'm sorry you went through something similar though

I just wish I knew why I didn't go into labour, and why my LO was in such a state by the end of the pregnancy. I was 2cm dilated a week before he was born, when I had my first sweep. The midwife thought she'd broken my waters at the time! I never felt any braxton hicks, or contractions. I was obviously ready to go though, but labour just never started. I suppose I'll never know what happened, it just worries me for any future pregnancies.

It's been weird with LO's birthday. His birth isn't something I really want to remember or relive, and it's all been quite raw as the dates have rolled around again.

 

[Supermaiden]

I think the pathetic comment is hurtful and unfair. Just saying.

I had to have an emergency c-sec. It wasnt expected, I didnt know it was coming, which is the worst thing about it. Obviously we all have the midwife checks and the feel of the tummy to see where baby is engaging and I was told all was fine, even the day before I went into labour he was engaging. I had a fall at 35 weeks but wasnt checked over after it, which I feel I should have as this seems to be the moment when he stopped moving as much as before. Anyway, my waters broke, straight after he was coming. But he was coming foot first. So began the chaos of everyone in the hospital room getting things ready for my EMCS, only they didnt tell me this was going to happen until I said I needed pain relief.. I was told "No, youre going to sleep" I had no option. I was wanting to push so they had to take me in right then. I was absolutely terrified, not only of the op but of being put to sleep as it is my worst fear. I grabbed hold of a hand and didnt let go until I was asleep. I feel there was very much a big panic about it all which didnt help me in the slightest. Son was born with the cord around his head 3 times too.
When I woke I felt like I couldnt breathe, I was trying to gasp air in and my husband says I wasnt making sense but I was saying I couldnt breathe. I dont know if I passed out after but when I came around again he was at my side with our son. I missed most of his first day since I was so groggy, so I dont remember it at all. I still ask OH questions about it 6 months on.

I wanted to BF but they hadnt put him near me at all. He couldnt latch on so we couldnt leave hospital, had to give up BF as he had so much trouble which I think added to the problems as I was made to feel a nuisance for asking for help even though they (nurses/midwives) told me to. Took him an hour to latch on so he was a screaming wreck the whole time, it was horrible.

It took me 3 months to properly bond with him. I cried to my parents that I didnt know what to feel for him. He could have been anyone's baby. Now though its such a different story, he is my world. I love him more than anything.

Anyway, just realise that not everything is so simple. I know Ive rambled on and on, (didnt mean to!) but my sons birth was very traumatic for me. Ive still not fully healed, tummy is realy sore and cant have even the baby hit it with his foot or anything.

I am glad I had my son, and he is healthy. I am not glad however that there was a mass panic which made me panic aswell, they are the professionals yet I felt they made it worse. It was so very scary.

 

[Palestrina]

Sorry ladies I've only just come back on.

Now,to say someone is pathetic bcoz they r upset over their situation is quite harsh,u r clearly very upset over what happened to u and ur baby,do u not have the right to b without someone calling u pathetic? In no way was I saying people were wrong to have these feelings,I was wondering if I was emotionally dead inside for not feeling anything tbh lol to me everyone is grateful they got their baby safely at the end of it,no one ever disputes this but for some,their experience ruins the whole thing for them and how can caring about something that was important to u b pathetic?

Sometimes it only takes one word to turn a thread completely the wrong way and this isn't how I wanted it to go so let's try and think outside the box and not let everything b so black and white xx

I'm sorry your thread was hijacked. I don't think there is anything wrong with you for not being upset over your c-section. C-sections save lives! There is quite a big negativity centered around the idea of elective c-sections and I felt it prominently when I was in the 3rd trimester forum. Your thread does bring up the issue of how people feel about their births and that is bound to make people edgy - like the "pathetic" lady who is so obviously traumatized by her birth that she can't see past her own grief to sympathize with anyone else's.

Recovering from a c-section is not a small matter. Our uterus is ripped open, I could feel them taking out my guts and putting them back in, I kept screaming at them that "I can feel stuff!!!!" and I felt like a pig in a slaughter house, not a very pleasant experience after the exhaustion of 27hrs labour. The first words I heard was "your son is a lot smaller than we expected him to be" which is not what you want to hear. Honestly I think I'd be too weak to attempt a VBAC and would elect a c-section, at least next time around I'd be prepared for what to expect. Even thinking about that day makes me cry at this point.

 

[Supermaiden]

Even thinking about that day makes me cry at this point.

 

[Ryders_Mommie]

I loved the fact that I had a C-Section. I recovered so quickley from it. Got right back into shape. Had no problems what so ever from it. I do hate the fact that I didn't have a chance to have a natural birth, but hey. My baby boy is doing fine, that is all that matters. Right?

 

[Palestrina]

I was watching an american program last year called the Yummy Mummy. It was all about pregnancy, childbirth, getting in shape after birth, a light hearted show about motherhood. In one segment they talked about the divide in women concerning natural vs. section mothers. They had a small panel of a mother who delivered naturally, one that had an elective c-section and one that had an emergency cs. The mother who delivered naturally said "if one of my friends decided to have a c-section I wouldn't be friends with her anymore." There is a lot of stigma placed on c-sections which may add to people's disappointment of having one.

 

[Heidi]

I think to begin with i found it hard because i got allot of comments about me being small built and a cs would have been for the best which kinda made me feel like failure even though that wasn't the reason i had it, people just presumed i was incapable! But now i dont care about it, i find time is definitely a healer and would be happy to have another cs if i needed to

 

[Palestrina]

I think to begin with i found it hard because i got allot of comments about me being small built and a cs would have been for the best which kinda made me feel like failure even though that wasn't the reason i had it, people just presumed i was incapable! But now i dont care about it, i find time is definitely a healer and would be happy to have another cs if i needed to

I know how you feel since I come from the opposite side of this - I'm a bit overweight and have wide hips but the baby was stuck and I needed a c-section. After the section my doctor told me that my pelvis was extremely narrow and I'd never have been able to push a baby through it, even though my baby was little over 4lbs. I don't say it to people often because when I do tell them that I have a small pelvis they look at me like I'm crazy (considering that I'm no skinny little thing).

 

[_jellybean_]

I was so scared--no, terrified of giving birth. It's strange b/c I couldn't ever really picture myself giving birth. I'm so so so so happy that I had a c-section. I felt it was less traumatic for my son and for me. Recovery was not a walk in the park, but it's a week and two days later and I'm getting around. My son has been in the nicu for a week and I have been going back and forth to the hospital (an hour drive one way) each day since I got discharged last Monday. It's been exhausting, but I'm at the point where I don't cringe when walking. I know I'm not getting the rest that I need to fully recover, but I don't care because my baby's needs are most important, and right now he needs me.

So....happy that I had the section. When I read about episiotomies, I am even happier about it because that seems much more difficult to heal from than a section.

 

[Quackquack99]

I think I struggled at first because everything happened so fast. My waers broke so I told people I was in labo. They discovered my babies feet were about to come out, and an 1 hour and 30 mins later I was sending people pictures of my lo. Now I'm completely fine.

 

[NashiPear]

My first baby was breech and therefore a c-sec. I never harboured bad feelings about it. I would have PREFERRED natural, but sometimes you don't get what you want, but you get what you need. My second was a vbac and I was so pleased with myself. Both my births had complications and I ended up in theatre after and lost a lot of blood (PPH). I also had major complications in my second pregnancy and almost lost my boy at 22 weeks. We can want something, but at the end of the day my focus was always a happy and healthy bub and mum. I and/or my babies probably wouldn't have survived if I went all natural..... so I am totally at peace even though it was nowhere near what I had wanted or imagined.

 

[Ramen]

My C-section was great everything else was crap. Adversity may very well have strenghthened the bond we would have had otherwise I'll never know. I was awake for mine. We were seperated three hours by the dayshift L&D nurse who was just too lazy to push me fifteen feet down the hall to NICU and couldn't be arsed to phone them for me. I didn't realize I'd been lied to for those three hours till my night shift L&D nurse clocked in. After that I had to deal with late shift NICU who were apparently ticked I'd been told I could come in 24/7 so they kept pressuring me to leave so they could gossip about the other babies parents, and they eventually did. They set me up for breastfeeding failure because they wanted to measure her fluid intake once she came off the headgear keeping her lungs pressurized by keeping me from a lactation consultant and only letting me try to breastfeed 30 minutes every three hours and were difficult when I asked for a pump. They milked my insurance purposely, threatened a social worker, and suggested I had post partum when I questioned why she was still in NICU if the respiratory therapist himself was wondering why she was still in NICU. After all that? Everything is fine. I breastfeed. We cuddle. The love is there my protective instinct kicked in as soon as I heard her gurgling amniotic fluid and sent OH to follow her in my stead. I'm not sad to have missed those first few moments, but I'm angry to have missed those first few hours. I don't mind that I had a c-section if I hadn't I might not have seen her roll over last tuesday.

 

[toothfairyx]

I've got very mixed feelings about mine. Had my first naturally which although he was small I had no pain relief and can't lie it hurt but at least was over quick and was back on my feet immediately. However watching doctors intubate your baby on delivery was very traumatic so I wasn't disappointed when I was knocked out the second time for an em cs so I didn't have to witness that. But.....post-op cs - nightmare. Hate it.
Believe me no-one is missing out by not experiencing the pain of a natural birth, but for me, I would rather have that than have another cs - which unfortunately for me is now my only option