Does anyone have any sympathy?

[Donna35]

I don't have any sympathy no. If she had just gotten to this weight and never lost any then I might be inclined to have some sympathy but the simple fact is she managed to lose 14stone at the camp and it was up to her then to keep up that work whether she returned to the camp or not. She was capable then presumably of walking to the supermarket/greengrocer and picking up healthy stuff even if the mother was still buying unhealthy options. So from then she ALLOWED herself to get that big again and bigger still by choice.

My sympathy is entirely with other people who through no fault of their own are seriously ill and may not get the help they need as so much is being ploughed into her health care. £100,000 just to get her out of the house too - that bill should be sent to the family IMO. Her mother also should be arrested for child abuse.

Says the doctor has her on 2000calories a day now - they'd want to check the mother's bags when she's visiting her and the rest of family as they may bring food in to her. She isn't going to want to stick on 2000 a day and is already smoking to try help stop her eating - thus causing more potential health problems.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

nope, none at all.

 

[SnuggleMum]

Does losing weight at camp count? I'm sure almost everyone could lose weight if they are forced to stick to a strict diet, with outside contact limited. The fact that she got to a more normal size, but still couldn't even maintain that, shows it must be a deeply ingrained problem.

I have sympathy with people with anorexia who relapse after a hospital stay. It is easier to cope with an eating disorder when you are forced to hand over control.

 

[Tasha]

I don't have any sympathy no. If she had just gotten to this weight and never lost any then I might be inclined to have some sympathy but the simple fact is she managed to lose 14stone at the camp and it was up to her then to keep up that work whether she returned to the camp or not. She was capable then presumably of walking to the supermarket/greengrocer and picking up healthy stuff even if the mother was still buying unhealthy options. So from then she ALLOWED herself to get that big again and bigger still by choice.

My sympathy is entirely with other people who through no fault of their own are seriously ill and may not get the help they need as so much is being ploughed into her health care. £100,000 just to get her out of the house too - that bill should be sent to the family IMO. Her mother also should be arrested for child abuse.

Says the doctor has her on 2000calories a day now - they'd want to check the mother's bags when she's visiting her and the rest of family as they may bring food in to her. She isn't going to want to stick on 2000 a day and is already smoking to try help stop her eating - thus causing more potential health problems.

I get what your saying but at sixteen I didnt have the money to buy all my own food, and my Mum would NEVER of let me put what I wanted in the trolley.

 

[Harveysmum369]

Even age 16 though...if its the wrong sort of food..eat less..xx

 

[smokey]

I don't have any sympathy no. If she had just gotten to this weight and never lost any then I might be inclined to have some sympathy but the simple fact is she managed to lose 14stone at the camp and it was up to her then to keep up that work whether she returned to the camp or not. She was capable then presumably of walking to the supermarket/greengrocer and picking up healthy stuff even if the mother was still buying unhealthy options. So from then she ALLOWED herself to get that big again and bigger still by choice.

My sympathy is entirely with other people who through no fault of their own are seriously ill and may not get the help they need as so much is being ploughed into her health care. £100,000 just to get her out of the house too - that bill should be sent to the family IMO. Her mother also should be arrested for child abuse.

Says the doctor has her on 2000calories a day now - they'd want to check the mother's bags when she's visiting her and the rest of family as they may bring food in to her. She isn't going to want to stick on 2000 a day and is already smoking to try help stop her eating - thus causing more potential health problems.

So at 14/15 she was ment to go pay for her own meals? something her parents should have taken care of.
Dont think I know many 13/14/15 year olds that have to do their own food shopping and have a means to pay for it.

 

[Tasha]

I agree. Isnt that simple though is it, when your whole life you have been over-fed so your stomach is probably huge and also you have been taught that food makes things feel better, her Mum taught her to feel the empty void her dad left with food, breaking free from that when your Mum is still eating that way would be hard x

 

[Scamp]

I do and I don't have sympathy, I'm a bit on the fence with it. In one way, I can fully understand that it's an eating disorder, something I've suffered with (only the opposite of her) and it's tough.I knew I was skinny but I couldn't see I had a problem. But when it started really affecting me, I changed completely (with the help of my hubby) and now I'm a very healthy weight. It must be awful for her, she must know that she has to do something or it will kill her but there's something stopping her
But then the other side, she is an adult. She must know she has a problem and if people have tried to help and she's not accepting it?
I don't know, I'm not sure what to make of it.

I definitely blame her mum though, for at least starting it. A 19 year old girl doesn't get to that weight on her own if she's had a healthy upbringing xx

That girl is actually my cousin!
And I hand on heart have no sympathy, at 14, 15, 16, 17 you CHOOSE what you want to eat, no one force fed her! When she was younger yeah, it was her mother but at 19 years old?!?

And on countless occasions my family has offered her help from when her father died, my auntie even phoned social services on her own sister but nothing came off it.

Oh and on being bed bound for 6 months, she moved into a shared house with her friends 4 months ago... AND plastered it all over facebook!

Is there an update? How is she doing? x

 

[anna_xx]

We haven't heard anything since she was admitted, to be honest we really don't all talk that much since she moved away and refused any help from family members

All we know is that doctors are planning on putting her on a lower calorie diet and she shouldn't be admitted for long! :/

 

[Dizzy321]

I suppose my problem is no one forced her to eat the food though...I'm big and I'm this big because I chose to eat..

Its not as simple as that though thats very small minded.
as the phycologist said on tv this morning, being that fat is a visable way of seeing someones inner pain. She's severely depressed. some people numb this with drugs or alcohol or smoking but just because hers is food it gets overlooked as its not a ''real'' addiction unless you have been there you are never going to understand. I agree someone should have stepped in much sooner and her mother should have been much more supportive and gotten her some help but it just goes to show unless your well mentally and want it for yourself and have the support its never going to work. Poor, poor girl I really hope she gets the support she so desperatly needs.

 

[Harveysmum369]

I have suffered severe depression and I'm sorry I don't buy it,small minded or not...if you are THAT depressed you aren't going to flaunt the fact you are getting that big on national television,on national news...

There is more than enough support for people with depression,if you choose to take it..

The mother can't be blamed alone..x

 

[anna_xx]

The thing is, she doesn't CARE anymore! She doesn't care what people think of her, she doesn't care what she looks like, she doesn't care that she can become really unwell..
Why should other people care if SHE doesn't?! xx

 

[highhopes19]

I know this girl personally, she used to go to nursery with my sister and then the same school for a while.... She was nothing but a bully to other children tbh, so I personally find it hard to feel sorry for her!

Also during nursery school and infants whilst the other kids had healthy packed lunches at the age of 3 she had a lunch box full of chicken nuggets and ketchup! I remember it like yesterday! Back then schools were not as strict as they are now about packed lunches so it went by unnotitced or so it seems by the nursery workers

Tbh I blame her parents for letting her get to the size she is now but as an adult she should take some responsobility

 

[anna_xx]

I know this girl personally, she used to go to nursery with my sister and then the same school for a while.... She was nothing but a bully to other children tbh, so I personally find it hard to feel sorry for her!

Also during nursery school and infants whilst the other kids had healthy packed lunches at the age of 3 she had a lunch box full of chicken nuggets and ketchup! I remember it like yesterday! Back then schools were not as strict as they are now about packed lunches so it went by unnotitced or so it seems by the nursery workers

Tbh I blame her parents for letting her get to the size she is now but as an adult she should take some responsobility

I completely agree about the bullying thing, she's exactly the same now!



ETA: I also agree about her mum being partly to blame, at 4 years old she used to come round my house and have a whole pizza for dinner, crisps when ever she fancied, was never disciplined.. but now she's older and an ADULT she's got to take responsibility :/

 

[smokey]

I dont get the wholes shes a adult now so take responsibility aegument, thats just condoning about 16 years off neglect.
To me thats like saying to someone whos suffered a lifetime of bullying and abuse with nothing being done about it"oh what you moaning about your an adult now stick up for yourself and do something yourself" the rest of the years arnt wiped clean.
Its not like you can suddenly click your fingers and start repairinf a liferime of damage just because your 19 now

 

[smokey]

Also i wonder how much veiws would differ if this happened when she was just 2 years younger.
Im sure at 17 eveeyone wouls be blaiming her parents and at 17 you cant say she isnt responsible as a adult but then suddenly she is when turns 18

 

[Harveysmum369]

If she was concerned about the fact she was eating the wrong food why didn't she confide in a teacher?xx

 

[Tasha]

I have suffered severe depression and I'm sorry I don't buy it,small minded or not...if you are THAT depressed you aren't going to flaunt the fact you are getting that big on national television,on national news...

There is more than enough support for people with depression,if you choose to take it..

The mother can't be blamed alone..x

That might be true where you are, but it doesnt reflect mental health services across the country, at all. My husband has begged for help, tried to commit suicide various times and the help is zero. My daughters died and I have had not one bit of counselling because (and I quote the doctors) 'there is nothing to help in this area but you can have group session with rehablitating addicts' It is a fact that mental health services (in general) are just not up to scratch. So for many, many people with depression the help is not there.

If she was concerned about the fact she was eating the wrong food why didn't she confide in a teacher?xx

Because it was her normal. Plus so many victims of abuse/neglect keep quiet. It isnt unusual at all.

 

[highhopes19]

I have suffered severe depression and I'm sorry I don't buy it,small minded or not...if you are THAT depressed you aren't going to flaunt the fact you are getting that big on national television,on national news...

There is more than enough support for people with depression,if you choose to take it..

The mother can't be blamed alone..x

That might be true where you are, but it doesnt reflect mental health services across the country, at all. My husband has begged for help, tried to commit suicide various times and the help is zero. My daughters died and I have had not one bit of counselling because (and I quote the doctors) 'there is nothing to help in this area but you can have group session with rehablitating addicts' It is a fact that mental health services (in general) are just not up to scratch. So for many, many people with depression the help is not there.

If she was concerned about the fact she was eating the wrong food why didn't she confide in a teacher?xx

Because it was her normal. Plus so many victims of abuse/neglect keep quiet. It isnt unusual at all.

I have to agree to her when she was growing up her diet was normal.... And would infact steal others food when she had ate hers at nursery

I really hope she can turn her life around, I hope her mum is ashamed as sheis the main cause of her eating habits from what I remember growing up.... Her dinners were atrocious in quantity and quality!

 

[meldmac]

There is more than enough support for people with depression,if you choose to take it..

Maybe where you are....I was diagnosed with ppd after Colin and even after my OBYGN referred me to a specialist and told them I had previously lost a baby by stillbirth it still was going to take over 6 months just to get in to see someone for a consultation just to see if I required counseling. One specialist told me I should be happy instead of depressed because I had a baby now.....this from a professional! No wonder some people don't seek out help if these are the types of comments getting thrown at them from professionals let alone just anyone.

I find it really sad some of the views on this thread especially from family members. Understanding can go a long way in this world to help prevent some of these problems from happening.

I felt so alone after having Colin and suffering from depression yet some of my family made me feel even more alone because of their narrow minded views. Maybe just take the time to try and understand instead of jumping to conclusions just because of what you may have seen on tv/ read on the news. It's not always the whole story. Not only that just because you may be someone's family doesn't mean you know the whole story either.