Dose any one think there family are going to.....

[lozzy21]

Dose any one think there family are going to disagree on their parenting choices?

The main things i think im going to have problems with are

I plan on using reusable nappys, they work out cheeper and are better for the environment.
I am going to wait untill baby needs to be weaned instead of thinking ooo there 4m old i can give them solids now. If lo need's weaning at 4m then ok but if they dont then im not.
I dont belive in atachment parenting but i do like the idea of baby wareing when needed, non of my family have.
OH's family arnt realy the brestfeeding type so i can see some issues there.
Also on OH's side all the kids have well been spoil as far as i am concerned and no way am i going to bring my children up like that so i can see some problems with them having a moan about me being to strict.

Any one else?

 

[morri]

Well I don#t think i would get problems with above things. Considering the nergy needed to wash the nappies it is not that much better but they look cute. Dunnop though if i 'd take them or not, I am textile works like not very talented ^^.

 

[LadyofRohan]

Hmm...the only major problem I foresee is from a religious standpoint.

I'm Catholic and DH is atheist. We really don't know what we are going to do for the kids. My mother would want them going to church every Sunday. DH wants to wait until they are older and allow them to choose which faith (or not) is right for them.

My mom is going to be angry and heartbroken if we choose not to baptize and raise the kids Catholic. So I have no idea what to do

 

[lovehearts]

i think my mom will be horrified that the baby will take my OH surname even though were not married - were not even engaged (he doesnt see the need but thats a whole other thread lol) My nan will be horrified that we had a baby out of wedlock!! She always tells me we are living in 'sin' now!!!

 

[lozzy21]

Hmm...the only major problem I foresee is from a religious standpoint.

I'm Catholic and DH is atheist. We really don't know what we are going to do for the kids. My mother would want them going to church every Sunday. DH wants to wait until they are older and allow them to choose which faith (or not) is right for them.

My mom is going to be angry and heartbroken if we choose not to baptize and raise the kids Catholic. So I have no idea what to do

I was raised catholic, i was baptised and made to go to church every sunday untill i was old enough to make an informed decidsion to if i wanted to go or not.

Would that keep your OH and you mam happy? After all how can a child make a choice about some thing they have not experianced?

 

[morri]

Well Your mons(and nans) will learn to have to live with your decisionsno good if it was done just for their sake.

 

[Pyrrhic]

My Mum doesn't agree with anything I do However, to her credit, she follows what I do when she looks after niamh. You sort of feel though, that if you do things differently then you're insulting the way they did things, which of course isn't the case!

 

[lozzy21]

Well I don#t think i would get problems with above things. Considering the nergy needed to wash the nappies it is not that much better but they look cute. Dunnop though if i 'd take them or not, I am textile works like not very talented ^^.

The energy used to wash them dosent have the half the impact that is has for disposables. The chemicals used in them and then to have them filling up landfills, talking many many years to decompose. Im not very crafty ether thats why im going to buy them.

 

[LadyofRohan]

Hmm...the only major problem I foresee is from a religious standpoint.

I'm Catholic and DH is atheist. We really don't know what we are going to do for the kids. My mother would want them going to church every Sunday. DH wants to wait until they are older and allow them to choose which faith (or not) is right for them.

My mom is going to be angry and heartbroken if we choose not to baptize and raise the kids Catholic. So I have no idea what to do

I was raised catholic, i was baptised and made to go to church every sunday untill i was old enough to make an informed decidsion to if i wanted to go or not.

Would that keep your OH and you mam happy? After all how can a child make a choice about some thing they have not experianced?

I was thinking about maybe doing a one-off type thing. I can take them to Church every other Sunday and DH can have them on the other Sundays (when I go to Church) and he can do something with them. He wouldn't say anything like "Don't believe in God--he doesn't exist!" but he would want to take them to do volunteer things and do something helpful for the community or something.

The problem with the whole baptism thing is that it's a sacrament...and you promise to raise your child in the Catholic faith, etc. And we wouldn't be doing that whole-heartedly. We went to a baptism recently and DH said he wouldn't be able to stand up there because of the whole thing where the priest says "Do you believe in the one God? Do you reject the evils of Satan? etc" and the parents are supposed to say "I do" and DH said he wouldn't be able to do that because he doesn't believe in either.

And I don't want to paint DH as cold-hearted or anything. He was raised Catholic and he's read (and continues to read) tons of books on God and the bible. It's like he wants to believe, but he's a very hardcore rational thinker (he has a masters in theoretical physics and is very science-minded) and he just doesn't get it.

I love him no matter what he believes (obviously, I did marry him ), it just means we're stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to pleasing our families but keeping our sanity.

 

[wannabubba#4]

This will be number 4 for me, so everyone is well used to my parenting skills / choices.

With my first, I was the first in my family to breast feed, and although no-one disagreed with it, it did make some ppl a bit uncomfoartable at first, and I remmeber mum trying to talk me into giving top -up bottles for the first few weeks. Since then and 11 grandkids later, all of my sisters have bf and it's totally the norm now, they'd prob have some opinion now if i chose bottles lol (which I wont -cos I love the special mother -baby bond you get with bfing and I cant' wait to do it again)

xx

 

[lozzy21]

if thats the case tell your parents to sodd off and you will do what you want to do.

My oh was baptised catholic but dident go to church and did not go to a catholic school where as i did. He will come to church if a make him but i only realy go at christmas but i would probably start going again when i get pregnant and have children, it was nice to do some thing as a family.

 

[morri]

in my region people are mostly protestant. I only went to church at christmas , but as us kids got older we werent interested in that anymore so we stayed home.

 

[buttonnose82]

On the whole i like to *think* that both sides of the family will support our parenting choices.
I plan on breast feeding, cloth nappying, not wean till at least 6 months then will be doing BLW, baby sign language.
The only thing we may have a problem with is where baby will be baptised ....... but i wont even go there after the 'which church for wedding' moans that went on!

 

[kate.m.]

I plan on using reusable nappys, they work out cheeper and are better for the environment.
I am going to wait untill baby needs to be weaned instead of thinking ooo there 4m old i can give them solids now. If lo need's weaning at 4m then ok but if they dont then im not.
I dont belive in atachment parenting but i do like the idea of baby wareing when needed, non of my family have.
OH's family arnt realy the brestfeeding type so i can see some issues there.
Also on OH's side all the kids have well been spoil as far as i am concerned and no way am i going to bring my children up like that so i can see some problems with them having a moan about me being to strict.

Any one else?

Im kinda the opposite to u on the feeding 1! Pretty sure my MIL will be horrified that im going to bottle feed! My Mum bottle fed tho, and after witnessing plenty of people on each side of the debate thats what ive decided to go for!

I plan on using reusables too (am quite tempted with the tots bots! lol), and im not sure what the MIL will make of that 1 either! I think my Mum will agree with me on using reusables... but when she finds out how theyve evolved (mostly how the prices have evolved) since the terry-towelling days, im sure she'll have something to say!! I really couldnt cope with terries and liners and pins and waterproof covers tho- id rather pay the extra for the decent all in one 1s!!

 

[Cinnamon]

My mum will sure have something to say, but I will listen to her advice for a change (I also do it now but don't always take it) and religion will be a big issue. I'm Catholic but don't go to church since I was allowed to stop going (at like 22) so I'll prob let her take the kids if she wants to and then they can decide for themselves when they're old enough. Defo not 22!!!!

MIL will have something to say but I can't really guess about what so I can't tell if I'll ignore or listen.

I'm also using cloth nappies and would like to bf but don't know if I'll be able to as I got a breast reduction...

 

[fuffyburra]

My mum won't say a thing, she's fairly easy going when it comes to us making our own decisions, and although we were brought up with shouting and smacking, if I ask her not to with my child she won't.
MIL will have A LOT to say. You're too strict, you're too soft, you're finding out the sex of the baby?! Why don't you shout, awww don't shout at him/her!
Oh deary me. More than anything she HATES people finding out the the baby's gender Im gonna do it for practical reasons alone, at least for the first child. Good luck to her if she thinks I won't!!
Religion isn't an issue, neither is breastfeeding. As far as nappies go I'll be using re-usables like my mum did. MIL can say what she wants about that

 

[bunnyg82]

I definitely think there are going to be some disagreements!

I will also be baby-wearing, maybe not 100% of the time but the plan is to do it a lot and I am not sure what they will think about that.

Again, I plan on exclusively breastfeeding (although expressing for hubby to do one feed a day) for 6 months and I have no idea what they will think of that - I can imagine them putting the pressure on to bottle feed.

But the main things I think they won't approve of are basically the opposite things to what they do that I really don't agree with..

so, my BIL was in their bed until he was about 11 years old and still occasionally does that now. I think after the first 6 months, unless they are poorly, I won't be doing this.

Sweets and chocolate and stuff I shall be limiting a lot and I think they will say I am mean.

Again, with discipline, I really hope to be a firm but fair mummy, where no means no - whereas they could say no a million times but the kids still get what they want. So, I can see hassle there too.

With our neice, my MIL really takes over, even to the point that if our neice ever fell over or got upset, she'd straight away say "come to nanny" and not let SIL have a look in.

She really undermines SIL and I dont think I could cope with that.

The other thing that will be difficult too is that I really don't want swearing around my kids and they think it's acceptable and call the kids "little shits" to their faces and stuff - I can't stand that - I know that they will hear swearing in their life, but it just isn't nice and I'd rather it not be the norm for them to hear that language!

I am grateful though that hubby and I share the same views, so at least I know he will be on side when it comes to the inlaws. As far as my mum is concerned, she would support anything I think and to be honest, we're not that close so I don't really care if she doesn't!
x

 

[fuffyburra]

WOW. Your inlaws sound harder to deal with than mine!! I completely agree with every single statement on your post, especially the BFing. Don't they realise the bond you get from it? It's so worth it in every way possible. I can't wait to do it!!
Keep fighting the good fight!! XD XD XD XD

 

[Amygdala]

I'm sure my mum will have A LOT to say about how our LOs should be raised. She generally seems to be the authority on anything. Luckily though I broadly agree with her views so even though it'll be exhausting (The child needs a hat, it's too warm for a jacket, you shouldn't let her eat this late, she's hungry you'll have to feed her...) I don't expect her to disagree with me on the big things (e.g. breast feeding, co-sleeping, baby wearing etc). And if she does she can go away.
MIL will probably think me a hippy but then I don't really care about that and she probably won't have the cheek to complain to my face, I more expect like snide comments. I can live with those though so that's alright.
Neither granny will see the kids on a daily basis because they're too far away so I don't think they'll interfere majorly with their upbringing even if they should do some things differently and not how I would want them to.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I don't think my family will question my technique. I KNOW. I will be co-sleeping and bf-ing. My mother is all about kids being in their own room from the get-go. I want to snuggle my baby as much as I can WHILE I can! Besdies, it will make nighttime feedings SO much easier!