Due in June 2014!(88 sunflowers), 37 (blue), 24 (pink), (48) here!

[Sqwidge]

Please can I join you all? I've joined a couple of groups but both are very quiet. I'm almost 20 weeks with a due date 10 June by scan. ( I still think closer to 13 June!!) This is my second baby - I already have a beautiful 13 month old baby girl. I've also got 4 little angels looking out for me from above. My 20 week scan is due Thursday and despite my reservations we plan to find out which team we are on. I'm not bothered but my husband is keen for a boy and doesn't want to appear disappointed when baby is born!! He thinks knowing in advance will get rid of any disappointment.
I've not managed to read all 336 pages but hope I can follow things from here onwards. L xx

I'm the opposite to your husband, I would love a little girl, but think if I find out before and it's a boy I will spend the rest of the pregnancy disappointed!

Look forward to seeing what team you are

 

[jenniferannex]

Morning!!

Irish congratulations on team pink!!

Welcome Lala!

AFM I'm exhausted after having Lily's 4th birthday party yesterday, my hips and pelvis are aching and I think I've pulled muscles in both legs, she's not having one until she's 6 now I've decided I need 2 years to recover

 

[1eighty]

i found that knowing in advance helped with gender disappointment. it took me the best part of a week to get to grips with this being our second boy, but we're both now really looking forward to meeting him rather the adjustment now than have it spoil his first week out in the world.

 

[trinity_enigm]

Hello ladies. 20 weeks today and only have to wait until Friday for our scan- can't wait!! I'm sure there are at least 3 other ladies waiting with me so here's to a quick week ladies!

 

[Frizzabelle]

I may sound a bit harsh but I really don't understand how anyone could feel disappointed by the gender of their child. Surely the health of the baby is the most important thing? I've read stories of ladies trying and failing to have a child of their own for years and years and I just could not imagine ever feeling unhappy to find out I'm having a girl or boy.
I'm on two groups on here...this one and one where the ladies are genuinely scared of losing their babies, bleeding regularly and just feel blessed that they are still pregnant.
Sorry for the rant but it just confuses me! x

 

[1eighty]

I may sound a bit harsh but I really don't understand how anyone could feel disappointed by the gender of their child. Surely the health of the baby is the most important thing? I've read stories of ladies trying and failing to have a child of their own for years and years and I just could not imagine ever feeling unhappy to find out I'm having a girl or boy.
I'm on two groups on here...this one and one where the ladies are genuinely scared of losing their babies, bleeding regularly and just feel blessed that they are still pregnant.
Sorry for the rant but it just confuses me! x

confuses a lot of people, that's why there's a board on here to help ppl who experience it where they can talk freely about it and not fear judgement or resentment.

my BIL and his wife can't have kids of their own, so you can only imagine the incredible guilt i felt when i experienced gender disappointment, even for that brief length of time.

prolly best not to say too much more about it, as it's a fairly volatile subject.

 

[Sqwidge]

I may sound a bit harsh but I really don't understand how anyone could feel disappointed by the gender of their child. Surely the health of the baby is the most important thing? I've read stories of ladies trying and failing to have a child of their own for years and years and I just could not imagine ever feeling unhappy to find out I'm having a girl or boy.
I'm on two groups on here...this one and one where the ladies are genuinely scared of losing their babies, bleeding regularly and just feel blessed that they are still pregnant.
Sorry for the rant but it just confuses me! x

I understand where you're coming from and for me it's hard to explain, the first thing in my mind is that baby is healthy...I think because I have got a boy I would just love to experience having a girl. If I had had a girl first I think I would be wanting a boy - does that make any sense? I also think that as a whole family (my side and hubby's side) we are quite boy heavy, we need some more pink and girliness in the famiy!!!

I will be completely happy either way and I think that because this will be our second and last, the little pang of disappointment if it's a boy will be just that a little pang...I have nieces who I dote on, and hopefully my sister in law will have a girl at some point!!

ETA: I think what I put above about being dissapointed for the rest of my pregnancy was an exaggeration...

 

[1eighty]

I also think that as a whole family (my side and hubby's side) we are quite boy heavy, we need some more pink and girliness in the famiy!!!

gawd, i know where you're coming from. DH is one of 4 boys, and his oldest brother has 4 kids - 3 boys.

I will be completely happy either way and I think that because this will be our second and last, the little pang of disappointment if it's a boy will be just that a little pang...I have nieces who I dote on, and hopefully my sister in law will have a girl at some point!!

ETA: I think what I put above about being dissapointed for the rest of my pregnancy was an exaggeration...

this is also likely our last i've loved this pregnancy so far, and even with DS and the sickness and the SPD and the heartburn... loved that, too! gonna miss being pregnant. and you fear the feelings will taint the rest of your pregnancy, but from what i've seen so far that's all it is, a fear, and reality is wonderfully different from what you imagine the worst to be

if anything i feel sorry for their girlfriends. if i can't see them as substitute daughters then they just plain ain't good enough. and if they're gay, then one of the pair must at least let me braid their hair.

 

[Sqwidge]

if anything i feel sorry for their girlfriends. if i can't see them as substitute daughters then they just plain ain't good enough. and if they're gay, then one of the pair must at least let me braid their hair.

See I have a ring of my grandmothers and I'm saving it for when Josh finds a lady he would like to marry - however I'm not telling him about it...because if I don't like her or don't approve then I will give the ring to this baby boy or girl (if girl I will hint at her boyfriend/soon to be fiance that I have this ring for him to use...!!!) so long as I approve of that as well!! Lol!

Any boyfriend/girlfriend are going to have it tough with either of my kids...I feel sorry for them to be honest!

 

[heather1212]

I have my scan on Friday which I'm really excited about!
I've been feeling pretty good and starting to feel loads more babt movement. But I did so much housework on Saturday, lugging my Dyson round etc and since then I swear ive been having loads of braxton hicks. Sometimes its not too intense and almost feels like the baby pushing against my belly or my bladder but its happening so frequently its really unnerving me.
I read online that dehydration can bring them on so I'm trying to drink more. My midwife says only to worry if they dont go off which they do at night when im in bed but im still getting them today.
Im seeing the midwife on Wednesday but in the meantime I just feel worried

 

[joeyjo]

See I love my boys all 3 of them and after every worry this pregnancy threw at us early on I was just relieved boy 3 seems healthy. But in addition to being delighted with my boy I have taken a little time to mourn the girl I will likely never have.

 

[joeyjo]

Braxton hicks I get early & often but have always been told to get checked if I am having more than 4 an hour.

I got them pre13 weeks this time!

 

[Ibelieveitwil]

had a scan today, still team yellow, twins are being so shy!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Congrats Irish_Girl on being Team Pink!!!

to the ladies who are dealing with gender disappointment. I think most people have a gender preference so it's only natural to feel some disappointment if you don't get that gender. I guess it's even harder when it's so taboo to even acknowledge that you have those feelings. I think a person can be disappointed at not getting their preferred gender while at the same time being thankful and totally in love with the child they do have.

Ibelieveitwill---Argh!! I was hoping at least one of them would cooperate!!

 

[Frizzabelle]

Didn't want to upset anyone with the last comment, it's just something I can't personally get my head around. I'm not saying its wrong or judging anyone for feeling that way x

 

[asmcsm]

I know that I was extremely worried before the gender scan that if it was a boy I'd be really upset as I really wanted a little girl first. But even though I would have been upset I know it wouldn't have changed my love for this baby at all, I would just need to take a little bit of time to accept that I didn't get what I preferred and then move on. I think most people go in wishing for one gender or the other, whether they admit it or not. In my case I just loved our girl name to bits and was 'eh' on the boy name and frankly, was scared that I'd be lost on caring for a boy since I came from a family full of girls. But I know that I would have figured it out and as long as he was healthy and in my arms I'd be happy. My MIL told me that when she was pregnant with DH she didn't find out but her mother and sister did. They kept hinting that it was a girl so when he was born MIL was so upset that she didn't want to hold him at first. I think that gender disappointment is something that is extremely common but just so taboo to talk about that no one really realizes how typical it is.

 

[OpheliaVY]

I'm not sad that I'm having a boy, I was sad because I had envisioned doing all these things with a DD this time around. I think is't completely normal for some women to feel that way. We're all a bag of hormones and right now I'm sad I have a hairy belly. I'll get over it too eventually.

I do feel terrible for the women who have miscarried or can't have children at all but my pregnancy is about me, not them. It's not that I'm trying to be insensitive it's just that I feel pregnant women are expected to walk on eggshells so as not to offend someone else who isn't lucky or blessed to be in our shoes. It seems like to me, anyone can say anything to or ask a pregnant woman anything but that woman can't complain, be sad or miserable. Pregnancy is a beautiful and miraculous thing but it's also hard, gross and painful. We all know we can't be happy and glowing ALL the time, no matter how much this baby was wanted, planned for etc. and I think that's what everyone expects from us at all times.

I think in general women just need to cut other women some slack, pregnant or not. We are the most judgmental and critical species on the planet and could benefit from giving/receiving compassion and understanding to one another.

Frizz - I'm not offended and hoping my point of view doesn't offend you or anyone else either.

 

[1eighty]

Didn't want to upset anyone with the last comment, it's just something I can't personally get my head around. I'm not saying its wrong or judging anyone for feeling that way x

similar thing happened when we discovered the names we had picked out didn't "fit" the baby when we saw him at the scan at the start of the month. i'd seen posts about people changing their name choices last minute or after the birth because they didn't "fit" any more, and i couldn't wrap my head around that because taylor's names always fit him so well... i guess it's only something that you "get" when it happens?

humans be weird

 

[sllydrkfsh]

Totally agree with the other ladies, it's not a full on disappointment just a little sting when you are hoping. I'm having my 2nd boy and was really wishing for a girl since this is our last. Our tiny condo just can't fit a 3rd and my luck I'd have another boy if I tried again lol. Although I will be completely thrilled as long as he's healthy.

Afm: I feel like I'm a lot more tired this time around then with my 1st. This is my busy time at work so 14 hour days and half days on Saturdays and I just go home and crash. I can't imagine how I did this last time with school on top of it. Anyone start any baby shopping yet? I'm trying not to as much since I have so many hand me downs but it's really hard not to with all those cute outfits out there.

 

[trinity_enigm]

I think gender disappointment can be felt to different degrees. Some just feel a little pang like on here and some can be devastated! I think it is recognised as a mental health diagnosis nowadays so to be honest saying that women should just be grateful whatever the sex compared to those who can't have children is a little like saying that those women with PND etc should just be grateful. Sometimes you just can't help the way you feel.

We're team yellow and I really don't mind (although may lean slightly towards wanting a girl) so hopefully I won't have this problem.