Due Sept 2017

[gingmg]

Yay, congrats Tess and Dani!

 

[Tess08]

Hi everyone,

How are we all feeling today? I am so ashamed to say it but I am having quite a bit of gender disappointment I really didn't think I was that bothered either way about what we were having but since finding out it's a boy yesterday I've been feeling really down and upset. I really don't know why! I can't say it out loud to my husband or my friends/family because I'm so scared about them judging me. I'm sure I will feel better in a couple of days when it sinks in but I'm actually sitting at my desk in work just now feeling like I'm going to cry. I honestly don't know why I'm feeling like this. I wish I could flip a switch and feel better about the whole thing because I know I should just be greatful my baby is healthy! If anyone has any tips to help me shake this feeling it would really be appreciated x

 

[gingmg]

Tess- ((((hugs))))) I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. It was a bit complicated in my case, but I went through something similar when we found out we were having a boy a couple of weeks ago too. It took me some time to wrap my head around it but I did and couldn't be happier now. What you are going through can be very normal even though many people don't experience it so don't judge yourself for having these feelings. I can't promise when, but at some point you will feel differently than you do now. These feelings are temporary, try to remember that. Even if this is how you feel your entire pregnancy, you are going to love that baby with absolutely every ounce of your being and when that happens, you won't be able to imagine life any other way. Be gentle on yourself now. Its ok to grieve what isn't, but I promise there will come a day when you will be beyond overjoyed with what is. Give yourself time to get there. ((((Hugs))))

 

[Tess08]

Tess- ((((hugs))))) I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. It was a bit complicated in my case, but I went through something similar when we found out we were having a boy a couple of weeks ago too. It took me some time to wrap my head around it but I did and couldn't be happier now. What you are going through can be very normal even though many people don't experience it so don't judge yourself for having these feelings. I can't promise when, but at some point you will feel differently than you do now. These feelings are temporary, try to remember that. Even if this is how you feel your entire pregnancy, you are going to love that baby with absolutely every ounce of your being and when that happens, you won't be able to imagine life any other way. Be gentle on yourself now. Its ok to grieve what isn't, but I promise there will come a day when you will be beyond overjoyed with what is. Give yourself time to get there. ((((Hugs))))

Thank you so much ging. It felt so much better even just writing down how I'm feeling because I've been hiding it from everyone around me. I tried looking at some boys clothes to try and get me thinking about it but nothing appealed to me so I think I just need to give myself a bit of time to get used to the idea. I really hope this doesn't hinder my entire pregnancy just before I get into the good bit where you feel baby moving etc. It really does help though to hear I'm not the only one who has felt like this because this morning I honestly felt like the worst person on the planet. Thank u again x

 

[gingmg]

Tess- no you are not a horrible person. It's hard when you have something in your head of how you pictured your life was going to be and then it doesn't work out that way. Ya know what though? It usually ends up being better than you could have imagined for reasons you never thought of. Give yourself time. You will get there. It's going to be ok, actually, it's going to be better than ok.

 

[Tess08]

Tess- no you are not a horrible person. It's hard when you have something in your head of how you pictured your life was going to be and then it doesn't work out that way. Ya know what though? It usually ends up being better than you could have imagined for reasons you never thought of. Give yourself time. You will get there. It's going to be ok, actually, it's going to be better than ok.

That's exactly it! It's not that I have anything against baby boys, ofcourse I don't, it's just that I never pictured a boy in my future. My house is currently filled with Barbie dream houses and princess dresses and I just never imagined anything else lol. Now I need to get my head around footballs and super heros. Yeh you are so right about giving myself time. I need to remind myself I only found out yesterday and it really is a life changing thing so I'm sure I'm a few weeks it will all seem completely different. I can't thank you enough for helping me feel better today and most of all for making me realise it's ok to feel this way x

 

[ladybrown33]

Tess,
I felt a similar way when I found out I was a having my son. It took a while to become adjusted. I can't remember when I got over it and began to enjoy my son. But I did and he is my best buddy, don't stress it is normal.

 

[Tess08]

Tess,
I felt a similar way when I found out I was a having my son. It took a while to become adjusted. I can't remember when I got over it and began to enjoy my son. But I did and he is my best buddy, don't stress it is normal.

Thank you lady brown. Were you still pregnant when you started to feel better or did it take until you saw him? I really don't want this to ruin my pregnancy because I know I will love him so much when he's here so I know this is just so silly. Unfortunately i can't shake it just yet x

 

[ladybrown33]

I was still pregnant and I think as I prepared for the baby's arrival it became more exciting. Creating my registry buying baby stuff, etc... Even picking out names.

 

[Babybump2017]

Oh bless you tess.
I think it's totally normal. Despite me and my twin sister being twins, she is the more tomboy one and I'm the girly one yet we are still 2 peas in a pod. I'd always wanted a girl and she always wanted boys! So you can imagine when she found out she was expecting twin girls! The thing is I don't think it's disappointment you're feeling, probably more shock either way I wouldn't beat yourself up over it at all. I'm as sure as the others that it'll pass. As I said I'd always wanted a girl growing up but the minute I saw his face on the 3D scan I fell in love, plus it helped that my other half wanted a boy! It'll pass give it time, you'll love your boy all the same! And who knows he might make the perfect big brother one day

 

[Babybump2017]

Having serious name issues what do you guys think of the name Tylan? Similar to Tyler I guess.. but different

 

[Savasanna]

Names are so hard! Where did you hear that name? I, personally, have never heard of it before - so that could either be a pro or a con, depending on what you're looking for. It is a family name?

 

[Babybump2017]

No it isn't a family name. Basically I saw the name taylan on a website and love it but it's Turkish and it wouldn't really make much sense to give him a Turkish name! So Tylan was on the list of similar alternatives and I think it sounds quite nice, especially with his surname x

 

[TFBG]

Hi everyone,

How are we all feeling today? I am so ashamed to say it but I am having quite a bit of gender disappointment I really didn't think I was that bothered either way about what we were having but since finding out it's a boy yesterday I've been feeling really down and upset. I really don't know why! I can't say it out loud to my husband or my friends/family because I'm so scared about them judging me. I'm sure I will feel better in a couple of days when it sinks in but I'm actually sitting at my desk in work just now feeling like I'm going to cry. I honestly don't know why I'm feeling like this. I wish I could flip a switch and feel better about the whole thing because I know I should just be greatful my baby is healthy! If anyone has any tips to help me shake this feeling it would really be appreciated x

Tess, hugs to you, I feel you.

I logged on to vent about my own shameful disappointment. I found out today that I am a team Blue. I swore I was having a girl and have been prayin for HER since my journey began 8 years ago. I have two boys already and being 38, this is my last chance so I was a tad bit upset. OH is being so supportive because he knows how bad I wanted a girl but I don't think I'm as upset as everyone thinks I am. I'm more in shock because I felt it with my whole heart that it was a girl. But I am happy and thankful. I just have to learn to stop calling my belly "her" and we have to pick out a boy name now.

Congrats to the others that found out genders!!

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Tess, don't feel bad. Tbh I really wanted my third to be a boy. My DD was so selfish and kind of bossy towards her little brother so he was always left out of stuff that I really REALLY wanted to give him a baby brother to bond with. When I found out it was a girl, I went through a stage of disappointment. After she was born though and she started developing a bit of a personality, I realized that she is more of her brother's personality than her sister's and she loved him to pieces. He is finally starting to come around her too now that he realizes that she isn't going to pick on him like his older sister.

This time we were told team blue from an early gender scan and, although this baby was a complete surprise, I'm so stuck on having a boy that I will probably go through a stage of gender disappointment if at 20 weeks it turns out to be a girl. Praying that it doesn't because it would be awesome to still be able to give my DS a brother.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I really thought my son was a girl. I wasn't massively disappointed but I definitely wasn't thrilled when we found out he was a boy. What helped me was doing whatever I could to switch him from just some generic boy to my specific boy. Having a name to call him by was a big help, and just getting registered and getting things ready for him. It all got me excited about my Teddy. He's the sweetest, cutest, most loving little dude, despite the obsession with trains . I can't imagine not having him in my life now, and I'm sure you'll love your boy just as much once you've adjusted to the idea.

My DH manages a vet practice, so when I hear Tylan I automatically go to a dog antibiotic, but I'm guessing that's a pretty rare reaction.

 

[Tess08]

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit better about it today. I'm still not jumping for joy about all the blue I'm going to have in my life now but I managed to talk to my friend about possible names this morning without feeling like I was going to cry so we are heading in the right direction lol. Hopefully over the next few weeks i will be okay with the idea. The next big thing I need to do is go through all of my daughters old things and get rid of them. I think that's another big reason why I'm disappointed because I really thought I would be able reuse them one day x

 

[rockstarlove9]

So does anyone elses belly and boobs itch like mad. I mean I put stretch mark cream on daily but the itching is ridiculous. I work in a clinic so I cant walk around scratching myself constantly. Im wondering if the itching means I should amp up the crèmes. Im just trying to avoid stretch marks. ANy one in here with any advice?

 

[Savasanna]

My boobs itch a fair amount and my stomach itches sometimes, but it's not constant. I've been using stretch mark massage oil every morning after the shower. No stretch marks yet!

(although I've heard that the cremes and oils are only somewhat effective and, to a certain extent, if you're going to get stretch marks then you're going to get them. Honestly, it's really not the end of the world if I do, but I figure why not apply the oils and see what happens. I already have stretch marks on my boobs, though - so I only oil my stomach.)

 

[jlg621]

Hi ladies! I haven't been on in awhile. I got very depressed through the first trimester and I am finally starting to feel like myself again. This was very hard for me since I have never had depression before. I found out the gender through a blood test weeks ago and was told we are having a little girl! We have the anatomy scan next week and they will confirm. Her name is Tatum Elaine and we are so excited. Although I am petrified that they were wrong and it's a boy. I would have been thrilled to have a boy but now after weeks of being told she's a girl and planning I will be heartbroken to find out otherwise. I hope you are all doing well and having a good second trimester!